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Tina Tessina/
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Articles by Tina Tessina

Browse published articles attributed to Tina Tessina, with full-archive search.

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By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Why this compulsion to cheat?

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm looking at myself and asking the question, "Why this compulsion to cheat?" What will it take to keep my eye from wandering around? I'm divorced, technically, but trying to make amends with the ex. I love my kids, and an absentee father just doesn't fit my taste. I'd rather be there. I won't bore you with it. But everyone thinks I'm insane back with the ex. Why do men cheat?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,771 views★ 3.6 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: 11 Things Married Women Want

For you men who ask, "What Do Women Want?" Here are Dr. Romance's 11 Things Married Women Want: Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,555 views★ 2.0 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: Why am I assumed to be a cougar good for only one thing?

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,404 views★ 3.7 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: Improving Relationships betwee Parents and Stepchildren

To view video, click here.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,784 views★ 2.3 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: 3 Ways to Ruin Your Relationship

To view the video, click here.) Relationships can be devastated by simple, thoughtless things. Bad behavior will ruin your marriage faster than any temptation from the outside. Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author points out the worst mistakes to make in a marriage. Dr. Romance's 3 ways to ruin your relationship:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,512 views★ 2.5 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Ten Things People Don’t Know about Therapy

I recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for counseling because they didn’t understand what it was or how it could help them. When they do finally come in, I hear all the reasons why they haven’t come in sooner. There’s a lot of bad information out there.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,934 views★ 3.0 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: Stop Reacting and Start Relating

Dr. Romance writes: Richard and I will celebrate our 28th anniversary next month, and we agree there’s no better delight than sharing life with a loving partner, when you get along as well as we do. Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage is all about relating instead of fighting, so I thought I’d share an excerpt with you.? Any willing couple can learn to build a happy relationship if they stop reacting and learn to respond thoughtfully.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,658 views★ 3.6 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I can't live like this any more.

Dear Dr. Romance: I've seen your website and I think you may be the exact person to be able to help me. My wife and I have been married for just about 10 yrs., we have 3 beautiful children, and we live fairly comfortably (money is not too big of an issue). I grew up in a fairlyaffluent family, with good strong ethics -my wife calls us the 'Beaver Cleaver Family' .

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,925 views★ 1.8 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Less Talk, More Action

Those of you who have read my articles know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and negative. However, talk is not necessarily communication; and there are lots of non-verbal ways to communicate.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,823 views★ 2.0 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Without Ego

In reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an expression of the whole self, included in our precious gifts from God, the Universe, Life, Spirit. It would be as sensible to hate or degrade a mathematical problem given me by a teacher for learning purposes. Of course I can be frustrated in my efforts to solve a difficult problem; that is merely an expression of my eage ess to achieve.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,544 views★ 3.0 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: Divorce-Proof your Marriage

For Adult Children of Divorce, 3 Tips for a Better Marriage than your Parents Had If you're an adult child of divorce in a marriage that's been struggling, you can learn good marriage-building skills to keep your relationship from going the divorce route. Here are three tips to help: 1. View your parents as examples of what not to do.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,874 views★ 1.7 (6)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Intuition or Inner Knowing

When I met Richard, my husband, October 10, 1981, he was sitting outside, and the sun was glinting off his red hair, and my whole body and soul said {wow!” Twenty-three years later, we’re still happy. It turned out to be a lasting love at first sight. How did I know?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,646 views★ 2.4 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Could He/She Be A Control Freak?

3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where credit is due. Don’t worry about your spouse’s controlling tendencies. Just don’t be controlled by them. If your spouse can have a sense of humor about it, then your marriage will be fine. If the control escalates into abuse, you need to get to counseling, fast.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,087 views★ 1.0 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Desperate: What Else Can I Do?

Dear Dr. Romance: I suffer with sleeping alone in "our" bedroom while my wife of 14 years, sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. I've tried to talk and reason with her about this important problem, only to fall on deaf ears. I'm desperate. What else can i do? How can i get an autographed copy of your book? I do a lot of reading in our bed since not much else ever happens. Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,659 views★ 1.8 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I keep telling him not to push me.

Dear Dr. Romance: I find your articles very interesting. I have a minor problem with my husband. he keeps telling me that I don't listen and that I am stubborn. I admit my mind goes blank sometimes because he expects a lot from me and treats me like a teenager. I keep telling him not to push me.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,561 views★ 1.8 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage

Dr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to wonder about the shape of our future. The gist of our struggle was financial. We’d moved in together after a short, helpful talk about the division of chores, but had never discussed how we’d handle our joint finances.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,290 views★ 2.6 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: My father opposes my inter-racial relationship

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,682 views★ 1.2 (5)

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Is It Possible to Love Someone without Ever Dating Them?

Dear Dr. Romance: Is it possible to love someone without ever dating them? If so, how can you tell that you are in love? Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

10,835 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: He Does Holidays with His Ex and Kids

Dear Dr. Romance: I found one your article "Dr. Romance: Setting Boundaries with Your Ex" on Divorce360.ccm and wanted to reach out to a professional that is an expert with Divorce, families and integrating a new partner. I am single, 30, never been married, no kids. I am dating a divorced man who has four children in grammar school. I live in a different state and have not met the children yet. And we are hitting road blocks in our relationship due to the scenario below.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

9,657 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I am a married man infatuated with a coworker half my age

Dear Dr. Romance: I am a happily married man in my mid-forties with 2 small kids who has become overwhelmingly infatuated with a 22 year old co-worker. She is friendly but certainly not coquettish and there is no suggestion she reciprocates. I have no intention of trying to pursue a personal relationship with her.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,749 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: She started pushing me away and becoming distant

Dear Dr. Romance: I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 almost 6 months now. We hit it off from the very beginning and fell in love a couple months into the relationship. Both of us are independent people and level headed, but there's a deep connection between the two of us and the relationship was going GREAT until recently. She even brought up moving in together this summer and I was all for it.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,702 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: My wife is reading romance novels

Dear Dr. Romance For many many years, i have been the income earner for our 4 kids and my wife while she was home raising the kids. Day in day out I was working sometimes three jobs. I got into a career that took 10-15 hrs per day for the first three years - the money was great and I thought everything was going awesome especially since everyone was enjoying spending my money on lavish things.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,122 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: He wants me to wait on him

Dear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio today and I think that this is my last hope. My dad told me to listen to you this afte oon, since I have been having problems with my marriage. I am in my late twenties and I have 3 children under four years old. My husband is two years older. We recently moved into a home away from family and away from what we are used to. I am totally happy with where we are living and he "says" he is but I am thinking that it is not like that.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,259 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Date My Girlfriend's Best Friend?

Dear Dr. Romance: I need relationship advice!!!? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and her best friend who's a girl is also my best friend and I'm very close with the best friend. Me and my girlfriend do fight a lot but there are times where I'm in love with her. And me and the friend have talked about a few times what it would be like if we went out and know it would be good because we have similar interests and sense of humor and trust each other so much. But I dont what to do, so a little advice will help Dr. Romance Replies:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,866 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Why Is My Ex Still Calling Me?

Dear Dr. Romance: I was dating this guy for about two years. During the time that we were together we had some good times and bad. For one he was cheating on me with another girl then we got back together. During that time we worked hard to make the relationship work then I found out that he was sleeping with someone else. When I found this out, I finally left him alone.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,648 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: My husband's one-night-stand is pregnant

Dear Dr. Romance: I read an article of yours on Divorce360 about affairs the end with a pregnancy. My husband had a one night stand three weeks ago. He told me about it. We've been going to counseling for several months and were doing great. We just found out she's pregnant. I love my husband, but can I work through this? Dear Reader:r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,498 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Are You Sex-Starved?

If You're In A Sexless Marriage, You Need These Tips Now

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,237 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: My Best Friend Is Leading Me On. What Do I Do?

Dear Dr. Romance: My best friend is leading me on. What do I do? My best friend has been leading me on for quite a while. We flirt a lot but we still aren't dating. A month ago, we confessed that we liked each other, except he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was okay with that. But now it just seems like I'm falling into the friends with benefits category. Today he took me out for a walk. He put his arm around my shoulder and I put my arm around his waist. It was out of the ordinary.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,237 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: My ex is violent, abusive and obsessed with me

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,025 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Creating Connections: Draw Them In

Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it "Outwitted" by Edwin Markhamr He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,019 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Why am I assumed to be a cougar good for only one thing?

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,894 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: What can an older man do to win a younger woman?

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,869 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous?

Dear Dr. Romance: I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways, long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find out who we are and learn to treat each other better.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,682 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I Have Strong Feelings for My Plastic Surgeon

Dear Dr. Romance: I saw you on the web and thought I would ask you about my attraction to my plastic surgeon. I am almost 50, and have been having procedures done for 6 months now. He is my age and married with 2 school-age children and a younger wife. I have very strong feelings for him and NO, it is not transference. I have felt that before while in therapy and this is different.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,672 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: He says he can't give me what I want

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,666 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr Romance: My Girlfriend Doesn't Like Phone Sex

Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend does not like phone sex. When ever I bring up the topic, she is always mad at me. I don't know; maybe it's the way her ex treated her. Please help. Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,590 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: why are men in their mid 40s-50s attracted to 20ish girls?

Dear Dr. Romance: I was wondering if in any of your books or articles you discuss about why men in their mid 40s-50s might be attracted to 20ish girls. I kind of know the obvious reasons, but being more curious about what that might mean maturity wise etc. Dear Reader: From your question, I don't know if you're asking about someone you know, and want to understand what's going on, or you're just generally curious. Here's some general information about age differences in relationships:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,569 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I got very drunk and kissed another man

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,544 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I regret not telling her how I felt

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,492 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: He Spends More Time with His Friends Than Me

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,434 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: 5 Tips to Move on Emotionally after Divorce

(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/98RZAsK9c6c) Going through a divorce is devastating. You not only lose the marriage and break up your family; you also lose all the hopes and dreams you had for happiness here. Dr. Romance helps you to pick yourself up from the rubble and move on emotionally. Dr Romance's 5 tips to moving on emotionally after divorce

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,414 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Creating Family Acceptance

Lately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,289 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Creating Connections: Draw Them In

Many years ago an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it: "Outwitted" He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,267 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: She Slapped My Face and Departed

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,257 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Sleep with my Ex-girlfriend's Mother?

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,238 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: On Having a New Baby When You Have Stepchildren

(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/OlC24alx1Gs.) You and your new spouse are over the moon about having a baby, but the children from your previous marriage are acting strange and upset or distant. What's wrong, and how do you fix it? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author, gives you steps to follow to make sure everyone gets onboard with the blessed event. Dr. Romance’s 5 tips to parenting step children with a new baby:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,199 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Coping with Critics

No one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It’s always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I’m a writer of books and columns, and because I’ve lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more recognizable, for along with the lovely feedback, gratitude and complements I get from many people, others feel compelled to criticize, often in a mean way, and often without having even read whatever book or column they’re criticizing.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,128 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude

Despite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing four businesses to do that. I also recovered from an abusive marriage, and now have been happily married for 23 years, and in successful private practice since 1978. Before I could succeed, I needed to learn to support myself emotionally as well as financially.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,119 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Getting to Yes

The average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,085 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Emotions as Weather

Although most people in the country wouldn't agree, we in Southern Califo ia have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we're so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call "real" weatherweather wimps.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,060 views

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