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It's been almost a year since John Edwards revealed to the public that he had had an affair with the woman that produced his videos in preparation for his campaign launch, and now his wife has written a book about the whole thing. He came clean to his family before the scandal broke publicly and ...
Valentine's Day! What a great idea to set aside a day for remembering those we love. It's even more than just remembering; it's romancing. But it is also a holiday that many dread. Because of the romantic tradition of this holiday, many hearts feel isolated, alone and left out. Many dread ...
For the last few weeks I’ve been talking about emotional manipulators and the tactics they use to control you. The devastation these emotional predators can cause in your life is insidious and serious. These people can wear you down until you are a depressed, defeated shadow of the person you once were. That’s why it’s important to recognize the tactics they use to dominate you and to set strict boundaries to protect yourself from them.
We women in the twenty first century are the most accomplished, talented, educated women in history. But are we as charming or mysterious as women we read about from the past? Do we flirt and fascinate? I donât mean just flirting with men. Do we flirt with old ladies, the butcher behind the counter, little kids, and dogs? Have we forgotten the rules of the Art of Seduction?nnI began to wonder about this last weekend. It all started when I went searching in the back of my cl
Is your Christian codependency resulting in you keeping the peace in unhealthy ways?
Sometimes our perceptions can get us into trouble. What appears so clearly to be our reality may not be real at all. Or it may be partially correct, but not the whole picture. We humans have a tendency to interpret our partial experiences as the whole truth and ignore other people's partial experiences. How brave of us to actually consider that we may be partially right and may have partial information.
Dr. Romance reflects: One of the things I'm very grateful for in my life is the opportunities I have had to travel and see the world. When I see a world in turmoil: earthquakes, war, terrorism, famine, political upheaval, inflation, human rights violations: I think not of the governments, but of the people, who are just trying to get through their day.
It's not a secret that men are different from women. It is hardly breaking news to anyone that men and women have different priorities in a relationship. So what is it that women expect of men? There are as many answers to this question as there are different types of women: young, not so young, plump, skinny, talkative, quiet, beautiful and so on. Meanwhile, with such a diversity of the variables, the one constituent of the ideal relationship remains constant regardless of i
Is your relationship in crisis? In your heart, can you feel that life is not the same anymore with you and your lover? Having a break is the last thing you want. If this sounds anything like your situation, then you need to find out what you can to do help fix your relationship. Q: Help me fix my relationship, my boyfriend deprives me of the love and attention I need. What do I need to do? A: Obviously, from this question, you're depending on your boyfriend to feel cherished
There are 4 things you must do when dealing with chronic illness in a loved one to overcome Christian codependency. When someone we care about is chronically ill, we react to it the same way people react to other situations that are continually stressful and uncontrollable. Christian codependency tells us we have to sacrifice ourselves without limits. Doing these 4 things will enable you to cope in a balanced and healthy way:
When you sacrifice your own will “for the sake of the relationship” your relationship seems harmonious, everything is by mutual consent. However, because you don't allow place to your own will, but rather live according to your partner's, you begin to feel uncomfortable, frustrated and angry. When you develop Self-Awareness, understand what has driven you to give up on your will and realize the price you pay for it, you can get up the courage to make changes in your life and become able to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.
Dr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the time. With it, they set wheels in motion that have been turning ever since.
When conflict with your partner escalates to anger, name calling, slamming doors and irreparable damage it may be time to take a closer look at what is really going on. I get asked frequently how to fight fair without saying hurtful things that can not be taken back. Most likely something is being triggered from your past or your partner’s past. The telltale sign that it is an old wound being opened is when you feel an unreasonable amount of anger that does not parallel the situation at hand. The balance of logic and reasoning is thrown off by a flood of emotions.
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband complains that life is a habitrail that he has to get on everyday and he is not being reloaded. I have tried everything I know how to make things better for him. I don't know how to reply anymore, and honestly I am not sure there is anything I can do.
With summer here, it’s time to relax. To let yourself daydream. To take time off from your usual frantic schedule. To free yourself from the rigors of daily life and quiet your mind. Lack of structure used to be a feature of summer vacation, but we seem to be increasingly programmed. Maybe it’s time to recapture some of that quiet time through meditation. It turns out it’s good for you. Why Meditate?
In any relationship, there is always a possibility to become boring regardless of how long you have been. If you don’t spend some time and effort overcoming the rough patches of your love life, the romance can easily leave your relationship indefinitely. Use below the following 10 suggestions to boost your Relationship. Try Something New - Bond with a new hobby to excite one another again and regain closeness.(try new activities/extreme activities) - If you’re used to going
Dr. Romance writes: This is often called the Season of Peace, as in "Peace on Earth; Good Will to Men" Yet there is so much unrest in the world today: the world is still involved in wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence and hatred still dominate the news. Today's world needs more people living peace.
Recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I receivedfrom my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to heal and take care of myselfmade me feel blessed, despite the pain. I don't think there's a greater happiness in life than knowing the people who love you are there for you.
Breaking up with someone who you were close to and had a strong bond with brings out strong feelings of denial, sadness, frustration and anger. If you are reading this article, you have probably broken up with you partner and are in a similar situation right now. If you are wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for yourself, you need to stop it right now. You must pull yourself together and establish a solid plan for getting back together with your ex. However, the problem
Everyone knows that having a positive atitude is an essential aspect to being happy. Here are a few constructive thinking tricks that will help keep your chin up and your head held high. It can be hard to have a positive outlook on life, when things don't go the way you planned or hope for. The 1st of my staying positive advice is to practice and make it into a habit of asking the correct questions. What do I mean by this? In retrospect, our way of thinking is for the most part controlled by the questions we ask ourselves on a regular basis. Don’t believe me?
Explore the Logic of Passion Emotions are the primal bonds of our relationships. They are authentic, immediate, intimate, passionate, and memorable. They provide a window into another’s most genuine thoughts and feelings while they reveal our own true selves. Emotions are colorful, ...
How often in a day do you find yourself saying things like I should do this or I have to that? Think about the feeling associated with those shoulds and have tos. It may range from resignation to resentment. Seldom do we experience excited anticipation for things we feel we should or have to do. I want to challenge you to replace the shoulds and have tos with I choose. Our language is powerful. When we think and talk in terms of I should do this or I have to do that, we disempower ourselves.
<img class="alignleft wp-image-6592 size-medium" src="https://www.whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/shame-thermometer-300x300.png" alt="narcissism, shame, and codependency" width="300" height="300" />
"There is someone at work I like but I am too shy to speak to this person. What should I do?". The question above is asked over and over again by shy people. The basic advice for people who find themselves in this situation is as follows. The first thing to remember is that the person you like is a human being, just the same as you. They eat, they sleep, they go to the bathroom, they have feelings, hopes and fears and their head is full of thoughts just like you and everyone
We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to acting out behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid these kinds of problems, follow these simple steps for resolving your fear and anxiety.
Romantic Valentine's Day date ideas don't have to bust your budget. Here's a recipe for cooking up a memorable occasion with a few simple and cheap Valentine's Day gift ideas. Dazzle your sweetie with a feast of sensory delights. The most important one, good conversation, is free.nnn Ingredients for Your Romantic Valentine's Day Date nnn 1. Two or three dozen candles nnnCreate a romantic and warm ambiance for your cheap Valentine's Day date. Buy candles from the drug store, d
Husband Does Not Support Me Financially: When Your Husband Doesn't Contribute Financially In The Home Ask yourself the following question: What causes the 3 biggest fights in marriage? Now don't peek at the next line before you try to answer. My guess is that you're right on. It's children, in-laws--and money. And the money struggles precede children and most likely will outlast in-laws Joining forces financially means that "your" money--or your parents' money--becomes "our"
Men, you can no longer can club a woman across the head and drag her to your cave. If you want a relationship with a woman, there's some advice you need to follow. When you follow this help, you'll have women walking into your cave at their will. As hard as it to believe sometimes being a man, women are humans. They make up half of the world's population. And what is it that all humans want in relationships? We all want to feel great. Women especially love being around men w
OUT OF BALANCE RELATIONSHIPS Without a doubt one of the greatest hindrances to the health and longevity of our relationships is the balance in the relationship between self protection and extending ourself to foster the relationship. The perfect relationship Detachment Ideally in a ...
Dear Dr. Romance, I am a PhD student in Computer Science and Mathematics in Europe. I am interested in your blog which helps to a lot of people to find the best solution in their lives. I have also some problems in my private life. I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice.
Are you and your boyfriend having problems? Perhaps, you both are on a trial break. Either way, you've scoured the internet for advice. The things is there is no method that guarantees a happy relationship. Every relationship is different. Not only are their situation different but also the people involved differ. However, as humans, our needs are all very similar. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, each of us follow the same pattern. What we have in common with our partner is the basic essentials of how to survive life on this earth.r
At times, when you find yourself failing – once again! - to develop a successful intimate relationship, you may think about developing your Self-Awareness and get a hold on the ways in which you sabotage your relationships. But then, do you feel motivated to doing so out of belief in the merit of Self-Awareness, or as last resort? WHEN SHOULD YOU BEGIN DEVELOPING YOUR SELF-AWARENESS?
Do you believe you are responsible for causing others' anger, hurt, sadness or anxiety? Is this causing you to feel guilty? "My wife is so upset that I have to travel more on my new job," Chuck told me in our phone counseling session. "She feels so alone and lost when I'm gone. When I talk with her she is either crying or angry. I feel so badly and guilty but I don't know what to do." "Do you feel responsible for her feelings?" I asked him. "Do you feel that you are the cause of her feelings?" "Yes." * * * * *
A successful relationship has two very important components: learning to love yourself first, and then learning to love another person. Too many people ignore the first part, then wonder why it’s so hard to love another. It’s like expecting to water a plant with an empty water pitcher. Or trying to put on your child’s oxygen mask when the airplane cabin pressure drops, but passing out from lack of oxygen before you can get it on.
________________________________________ Dealing with critical people, especially a parent, is a challenge for all of us. Here are some options for dealing with a critical mother. ________________________________________ Having a critical mother is a big challenge. I know, because I grew up with an extremely critical mother. I can certainly relate to Lori, who asked the follow question:
When I was four years old, I had one of those snapshot moments that is clearly embedded into my brain. I was outside by our duplex – at that time kids were safe outside alone - and there were three boys poking a snail with a stick so they could watch it writhe. I was stunned that they could do this, because I was feeling the fear of the snail. At that time I didn't know that I was an empath and could feel the feelings of people, animals and even the planet, and that many others couldn't.
I have been reading a fascinating and well-written book, Good to Great by Jim Collins, about how good businesses move to being great businesses. As I am reading I cannot help but wonder if the author has not uncovered universal truths about greatness that may apply not only to business, but possibly to relationships as well. It may be more difficult to identify great relationships than it is to identify great businesses. The success of a relationship could be measured by longevity or by how well it meets the needs of each partner.
I am not talking about criminal stalkers who truly intend to do someone harm. What I’m talking about are regular people who have a relationship end before they were ready and some of the behaviors they use in their best attempt to hold on to their partners. Has this ever happened to you? Let’s ...
My single women coaching clients often ask me what is okay to want in their life mate. My simple answer is “Nothing is too much to ask for!” In my opinion, that is a KEY component to ending up in a relationship that will last a lifetime. Sure, plenty of women settle and end up married. But ...
The last two weeks, I received at my place at North Easton,MA (USA) about 150 people for the celebration of my wedding to the most amazing person God blessed me to be with: My wife, Dr. Vanessa Estelle Fossouo. There were people everywhere, some people I haven’t heard of for more than 10 years, friends from high school, from college, for previous workplace… Other than my friends, lot of my wife’s friends were also there. One week after the wedding there are few names that seem to be unforgettable.
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