Browse Relationship Advice

Guys, this one's for you – and ladies, feel free to pass it on to any guy you know in your life who's on a path toward thinking holistically about love, relationships and family. In my work over the past two-plus decades, I've focused on relationships of many different types – dating, casual, serious, engagement, marriage, divorce, post-divorce … and in my most recent book, “Hindsight: What you need to know before you drop your drawers” I present the relationship toolbelt.

As life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on living the life you always wanted to live, tempered by the wisdom you have gained through your experiences.

"Between the ages of twenty & forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity" ~W.H. Auden

________________________________________ Are you shy? Is your shyness getting in the way of your connection with others? ________________________________________ Have you struggled with being a shy person? Lily asks: "I try hard to overcome my shyness and reluctance to stand out, speak up and shine. It's a daily struggle for me. I make small progress, but can be easily derailed by a forceful personality. I know this comes from my overbearing, controlling father and meek mother. I want to shed the old hurts and stop being so timid. What do you suggest?"

Is there one thing that is the primary cause of emotional suffering? Yes! Discover the one choice that underlies your emotional suffering. Is it possible that there is one major cause of emotional pain and suffering? Yes! The major cause of suffering is UNKINDNESS - to yourself and to others. Let's take a look at why unkindness causes most of the pain in the world.

1. The Christian marriage is revealed in the creation of man– In the second chapter of the Bible we find God’s purpose regarding the marriage union. In Genesis 2:7 we read, “The LORD God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” The term “breath of life” in the Hebrew is actually translated the “breath of lives.” When God breathed life into Adam He also imparted the essence of Eve’s life as well. 2.

Very often, the expectations we have of others stem from our own consciousness, our own psyche, and have little or nothing to do with the other person. When we take our own ideals, standards, and values and use them as benchmarks of whether someone is good enough for us or good enough to us, we're bringing unhealthy expectations into the relationship. We then demand that the other person behaves in accordance with these expectations. So when he or she eventually does somethin

INSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 Lousy Segments Make for Good Life Often we're so engrossed in snippets of our lives that we fail to see the big picture; but life, directed by the mother of all directors, has a way of bringing the pieces together. Think of your favorite movie. It's tough to find a single segment that conveys the message of the whole; individual pieces range from blissful to horrifying. And it takes all of the pieces to create a great movie -- or a great life. I recently watched "Scent of a Woman" for the third time. Lt. Col.

There are problem pages springing up everywhere now and they are a very good idea, if they work.

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. October 03, 2016 If you learn to love yourself and you become happy and whole, will you end up alone? Will a partner want you if you are not needy? I had been working with Kathleen for a few months when we had the following discussion: KATHLEEN: I know that the Inner Bonding process really works to learn to love myself. It's really helpful to me when I do it, but I find myself being very resistant to doing it, and I don't know why. MARGARET: There must be a very good reason. What are you afraid will happen if you learn to love yourself?

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage but even great marriages go through a period where their marriage feels arid. When this happens, it can shatter your faith in your marriage but don't let that get you down. Here are 2 things you can do to keep your marriage alive and kicking even when it seems hopeless. Are You Stuck in a Rut?r

Women seem to be more emancipated than ever before. Many of them have well-paying jobs, highly-respected positions and credentials, and can support themselves financially. All these empower them to go on dates feeling good about themselves and acquire the “expertise” necessary to determine which men are most appropriate for them.

______________________________________ Pressuring yourself might be causing resistance, stress, anxiety, physical pain, insomnia and even illness. ________________________________________ How many of you put a lot of pressure on yourself? How often do you feel anxious because of this pressure? How often do you have trouble sleeping because you feel so pressured?r

Dear Dr. Romance:

Dear Dr. Romance: I am going through a break-up this week and pretty broken hearted. My boyfriend and I currently dated for the last year and nine months and it ended this week. He is my age, mid thirties but when he was in his early to mid twenties he had an affair with a much much older woman who was and still is his boss. She is 20 years older, married with 3 children. The affair went on for 5 years and then for 5 years there after, they would still have a sexual encounter here and there, the last time this occurred was a year before we began dating.

Did something happen or go wrong with your relationship, which made you and your boyfriend break up? If all was going well in your relationship and then it managed to go in the opposite direction, don't worry, there is hope for you. It is now a case of learning the right steps to get your ex boyfriend back and avoid any steps that will only push him further away. To begin with, there are some questions that you must ask yourself. These questions will help you understand how t

Separated From Husband How To Get Him Back: How To Win Back Your Husbands Heart Did you break up with your husband and you are going crazy because you don't know how to get your husband back after a separation? Do you want to find out what can bring your hubby back to you? Because I've seen so many marriages ruined in front of my eyes because of mistakes women made while trying to fix their relationship, I want to share with you few tips that will help you! Give you husband a

Sometimes, events conspire to separate you from your girlfriend. However, looking at her image or thinking of her presence all elicits overwhelming feelings of desire. If it is clear that you are going to be unable to move on and find someone else, then there are tips and ways to get your girlfriend back. Trying to resist it is futile, so you should be doing what is necessary to succeed. One of the first ways to get your girlfriend back is to dress well. You should not let yo

________________________________________ Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self? ________________________________________ "Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance."~Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now How often do you feel genuinely grateful for what you have in your life? There is a big difference between acting grateful and feeling genuine gratitude in your heart.

1. Remember your partner isn't perfect. Many times we love our partner so much that we see them as more perfect than other people in our life. In this light, we hold them to an ideal, one that embraces the thought that this person will not hurt us. Many times we do this unconsciously. We ...

Dear Dr. Romance:

Dear Dr. Romance:

Dr. Romance writes:

Love’s beginnings are typically hopeful, and yet divorce rates and distressful marriages are up the roof. Therapists offices are full, and couples therapy is increasingly accepted as a normal occurrence in the history of a relationship. A primary cause of this breakdown of love’s dream is that the needs of long term passionate relationships are paradoxical in nature. While love desires closeness, desire is fanned by distance, and a thriving, passionate, long term relationship wants both love and desire in its mix.

Doc: I'm dating this wonderful girl, but we've been going through issues in regards to the "chase" factor. We've already professed love for each other, so it's in a deeper stage than just the chasing phase, but she says of course that she wants to feel like she's still "chasing" me, since she loses interests in guys that are, well, served on a silver platter. How do you keep her feeling as if she's chasing you, even though you're in a deeper relationship already?

Dr. Romance gets a lot of letters about older women dating younger men, which appears to be shocking to some people, but I don't find it so unusual.

Dr. Romance writes:

Public schools do not utilize a system to help students define and evaluate acceptable behavior, so students do not have a way to develop and evaluate good and bad behavior. They are made aware when they break rules. Having rules without outlining positive behavioral expectations only reinforces ...

Feeling lonely is painful. Often people who feel lonely exacerbate the situation by blaming themselves. Why am I lonely? Because other people don’t like me. Why don’t they like me? Because I’m a loser. It’s not hard to imagine how this internal conversation can go downhill very quickly and make you completely miserable.

Dear Dr. Romance: I'll admit, I just don't understand men. Do they want us to be perfect all the time? I mean, I think I'm a pretty okay person. I honestly like myself for who I am. It took me a long time to get to this point. I'm not a model, but reasonably attractive for a woman in her 40s. I'm fit, educated and successful in my teaching career. While being single mom of a teenager, I'm launching my art career, and trying to break into teaching at the university level. I love art, music, books, the outdoors. And I volunteer, and have friends.

In almost every poll or survey about dating and attraction, when women are being asked – "what are the most attractive traits about men", humor always appears in the top 3 traits.rn rnThat's simple – humor is not only fun and entertaining, it's also related to many other qualities that women find attractive in men, such as confidence, social skills and intelligence. rn rnIn fact, having a good, healthy sense of humor, is by itself going to make women fall in love with you

What does it mean to be fully committed in a monogamous relationship? The traditional meaning has to do with focusing your romantic energies only upon your partner. You are not committed if you have “one foot outside the door,” meaning you are still available for romantic relationship with another person. I use the term “roman-tic” to include sexual relationships as well. You are committed if you are sure you are with the right person, or feel there is no one else out there who can better fulfil your needs. Most people understand this definition of commitment.

Dear Dr. Romance:

As I was scanning the daily newspapers, I came across the horrible news regarding the latest horrendous terrorists’ attacks in Brussels, Belgium, on March 22nd, 2016 at the airport and the train stations that claimed the lives of more than 30 victims and injured more than 200 persons. With a broken heart, I realized that those horrifying attacks and explosions have become almost daily occurrences.

Is It Normal To Have Second Thoughts About Separating: Second Guessing Separation - I Thought I Wanted The Separation, But Now I don't Your marriage is in crisis, and you've done everything you can think of to save it. You last option would be a separation, but will it help? There are two types of marital separations - legal or informal. When you are thinking of an informal separation, you will both agree that time away from each other is best, and from there you will try to

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways” may possibly be one of the most famous beginnings to a love poem. And, Elizabeth Barret Browning certainly captured everlasting heartfelt love on paper. But here let’s get more practical. Research has verified that keeping the flame alive in a marriage is most closely related to frequently expressing love toward your partner in a number of different ways. More important is to express love in a way that is most enjoyed by your partner.

It can be tough to deal with depression after any break up. The difficult part is knowing that you are not both together any more and she has broken your heart. There are certain steps you need to go through in order to learn how to deal with depression after breaking up. It's going to take some time to follow these steps and follow through with them but you will get there in the end. Ensure that do not get in touch with her. It's the best thing all round if you keep your dis

Dr. Romance writes:

Quotes are a wonderful way of succinctly making a point. Are you familiar with the following quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes who was one of our eminent Supreme Court Justices? “Most people go to their grave with their music still inside them”.

I Get Nothing Out Of My Marriage: I Do Everything For My Husband And Get Nothing In Retu rnRomance is important for your marriage. Lack of romance can drive you nuts. There are people who might take exception to this and say that romance isn't the important if you really love each other. Romance is more than just affection and intercourse, and when there is no romance, so did the touching, kissing, hugging and other forms of affection. People dry up without affection, they dr

To Pay or Not to Pay? It's often a confusing question when dating a new man. What would you do in this situation? You're having dinner with a man you find very attractive. He's sexy, smart, sensitive and fun. He's a gentleman. He treats you well. He makes you laugh. He's entertaining. ...

INTRODUCTION Whether single or in an unsatisfying relationship, you might be afraid to change your situation. You might want to do so; you might tell yourself you are “about to doing so”; you might wait for “the right moment” to making a change in your life. But time goes by and you find yourself not daring moving forward. The Fear of Change paralyzes you. THE FEAR OF CHANGE I’ve recently heard the following comment:

What To Do, Say and How To Get My (Your) Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Back In Love With You Do you hurt from a breakup? Were you recently dumped or did you dump your boyfriend or girlfriend, only to discover later that your love for him/her is still fresh and you feel that you can’t let your ex walk out of your life just like that. I must admit that I know the way you feel because I have been in your shoes once a time. It’s almost unbearable to watch someone you’ve loved for a while slip right out of your arms but not out of your heart.

By Margaret Paul, PhDr December 05, 2016 ________________________________________ Learn how to love yourself through heartbreak and grief, rather than continue to abandon yourself in ways that are hurting you. ________________________________________ Take a moment right now to remember times growing up that were very painful. Very painful situations might have been: • The loss of a parent, sibling, good friend, grandparent or someone else very close to you • Emotional abuse – yelling, name-calling, criticism and judgment

Discover why you may be sabotaging and punishing yourself with your self-judgment and self-rejection. Would you love to manifest your dreams and have the life you want? Most people would unhesitatingly respond with a resounding "YES!" Yet, do you sometimes find yourself sabotaging yourself in achieving this? Georgette finds herself in this position and wants to know how to stop.

Once you have acquired much of what you’ve ever wanted and achieved the main things you’ve set out to do, what’s next? How can you continue to grow and achieve even greater happiness in your life? You may have already attained personal success, but as most high achievers would tell you, even the most noteworthy accomplishments as well as the status that results can feel old and unexciting after a while.

Dear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for some advice... I hope you can help.

Dear Dr. Romance:

Don’t Squeeze Yourself Into a Relationship It can be just as tempting to squeeze yourself into a man’s mold for you as it is to squeeze yourself into the latest fall fashions. Okay, maybe it’s more tempting! Hold your ground, though. Let relationships—and clothes—enhance who you are, rather than try to change who you are.

Nobody -- whether single, in a long-term committed relationship or anything in between -- is completely immune from that often-painful feeling of loneliness. That is, however, until you can see it for what it is: an attitude that's completely within your power to change.