Blended Families Articles

The Birds, the Bees, and Blended Familiesr When Is It Cheating? Dear Dr. Diana, Unfortunately for my children and me, after ten years of marriage, I found out that my husband finds monogamy boring. He believes that all relationships get stale over time and that it’s only natural to wander. He was a good father and a good provider and he wanted me to look the other way to his indiscretions. We divorced two years ago due to irreconcilable differences.r

Empty Nesters Dear Dr. Diana

I went to a get together a friend of mine put on this week and heard a really sad comment by one of the ladies there regarding self-care. We were talking about friendships. She said that she’s so busy with all her responsibilities at work and with her kids that she notices that she purposely pushes other people away for fear of disappointing them. She knows she doesn’t have the energy to really invest in friendships right now and so avoids them. Now on the surface that might sound like a healthy boundary to have, BUT…. Here are 3 problems with that thinking:

Do you find it takes time for your children to settle in when they come back from your Ex's place? If you're like me, sometimes I wonder what goes on there that means they have to change so much. I mean, they've only been away a weekend and yet it feels like I get completely different children back. I've then got to start again on the 'house rules' and try and get them to settle again. Does this sound like you too?

Most parents put their hand up and say, "Yes, me too!" Exhausted from a day of nagging, yelling and demanding your children do things faster, better, or do something at all, you flop into bed and wish for more peace in home. With your head chu ing, you long for a better way to do things and hope for a little courage so you can try harder tomorrow.

Humans are unquestionably social animals whose association with fellow beings, close friends, or people bordering their community simply relies on the bonds they manage through their lives. It's only these relationships which could make us dwell our lives into the fullest. Even the so named introverts or folks who get in touch with themselves socially unmixable, deeply crave for long lasting relationships with no less than an individual person who they have faith in to with s

Dear Dr. Diana, I read your article about cheating last week. Why do married men say they want to meet someone? I’ve been with a married man for two years now only because he is the someone that I have always wanted. He told me he was falling in love with me and then after 16 months I asked do you love me and he said "I CAN'T" What does that mean? I’m thinking about moving away to get out of the situation. If men say they are unhappy why don’t they leave? - The other woman Dear Other Woman,r

“Is it even possible to achieve life & work balance?” bemoaned a client of mine a few months ago. She was running herself ragged trying to juggle about 15 plates at once. She’d hit a wall and wasn’t even sure where to go from here. She was exhausted, short-tempered with just about everyone she cared about, doing a rotten job at work and anxious a lot of the time. Best of all…She was done living like this and ready to make a change! Music to my ears!! ï This is what I love to do!

We hear about the importance of self esteem and confidence just about every day in the media. These are areas that many women struggle with. They have to do with an overall belief (or lack thereof) in oneself and one’s ability to make wise decisions. I find that the hardest decisions for me have to do with relationships. I’m a little more emotionally invested in those, tha I am – say – a pair of shoes!

Years ago, I married into a stepfamily My husband had full time custody of his kids and a demanding career, so guess who had the job of raising the kids! Cathy was almost 8 and WILLFUL. nnNaïve and full of expectations, I looked forward to buying her sweet, feminine dresses and doing girl stuff. (I had 2 biological sons already.) I had in my mind what little girls were supposed to look like and be like – cute and feminine, sweet and obedient, as I was as a child. Little di

Stepbrothers Teach Their ParentsnnAndy and Daniel were both 9 years old. Both lived with their respective mothers. Both had time together with their fathers although Daniel’s time with his father was more irregular. nnDaniel’s mother met Andy’s father. They courted for several years during which time the boys got to know each other. They got along well as friends. Finally, Daniel’s mother and Andy’s father moved in together. Now Daniel was spending more time with An

I'd like to firstly take your attention for a few minutes while I answer a really important question that I've been asked ... "Are my children meant to have one or two homes now we're divorced?" It's strange that this is one of the most confusing for parents to come to terms with - and yet it's not. What you're about to learn is going to give you the opportunity to understand more about your Ex - and while that may not really seem that important to you - it is to your children.

Marriage in a Rut Dear Dr. Diana

Today’s family portrait is just as likely to display a blended family as a nuclear family. However, with over 75% of adults with children remarrying and 60% of those marriages ending in divorce, mostly because of the children, indicates that something is desperately wrong. Perhaps The Brady Bunch gave us a false impression of a blended family. Blended families today vary widely but what is most common between them is difficulty blending. To be an effective step parent invol

If you are a single person on the dating scene today, there is an excellent chance you will someday be dating a partner with children. And of course, if you are already a single parent dating, you will definitely be in a relationship that involves your children and potentially your partner's ...

Have you ever asked yourself “What is important in life?” I’m not sure many people do. Let’s face it, life is busy. Life is chaotic. Life is exhausting. All of our “to do” lists are completely unrealistic and ridiculous. But that’s just life, right? Um….I’m going to be that little voice that shouts – “NO!” That can be everybody else’s life, but it’s not going to be mine. Uh,uh, no way! (arms crossed, shaking my head). I want to live my life on purpose. I want to know what is important in life and go after it!

Are you longing for more meaningful relationships? A good place to start is with the people you love. These are the people who matter to you and you matter to them. I had an interesting revelation last night I wanted to share with you.

Dear Dr. Diana, Last year, the holidays were a time of great sadness for me. It was the first Christmas and New Year that I have experienced on the heels of a terrible divorce. I was in love with my husband and didn’t want the divorce. A couple of months ago I started feeling better tha I had in a long time, just getting used to my life as a single person. But now, as the holidays draw near, I’ve got a terrible case of the blues again. What can I do? Singing the Blues Dear Singing,

Ok, I admit it! I’m not perfect! Whew – I feel better getting that off my chest! Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to seem like I’ve got it all together. My kids are watching me. My clients are watching me. People in organizations where I hold leadership positions are watching. I know, I know… I’m just sounding paranoid now.

Self control is something all of us say we want more of. The mystery behind it is trying to figure out the how. How do I have self control? How do I make better choices? How will I know I can trust myself? I'd like to share 3 steps to help you move in the right direction. All 3 of these come from 1 Corinthians 9:24 - 27:

You have considered monitoring your kid’s phone. Since they may not be entirely too enthusiastic about this, there will be some convincing to do to get them on board. Part of this process will be listening to their opinion. Try to genuinely hear their voice, problems, and concerns-- they will appreciate you for this. To start monitoring, you will have to reach an agreement with them about their phone usage. This will include what types of apps and websites you will allow th

I work with women every week who claim that having a life of peace is their biggest priority. “A life of peace” doesn’t make for the best goal though. It’s not real specific. What’s that look like – really? I get it; they’re tired of the rushing, running, demands, difficult relationships and exhaustion. But if you can’t get clearer tha “more peace”, you’re not going to go far.

Last week we looked at having more balance in life by asking “What do I want more of?” This week, I want to help you take the opposite approach with a little twist. There’s great power in words. I share this principle with my clients all the time. Take a minute and notice how your emotional response changes between these two sentences: I want to have 15 minutes of quiet I need to have 15 minutes of quiet.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” This verse from Luke 12:34 keeps running through my mind as I think about why certain things have been important to me throughout my life. We finished up our discussion of Part #1 of the Vibrantly Live System this month – Defining What’s Truly Important & Why.

Our world is stressful. Anyone disagree with that? So want to know how to relieve stress? It’s easy to find yourself tied up in knots over just about anything if you’re not careful. It takes a conscious decision to shield yourself from the chaos that surrounds us each and every day. I’d like to share a new “shield” I’ve been practicing so that you too can give it a try if it sounds like a good fit for you!

Have you ever realized how hard it is to take care of you when you don’t make it a priority? There’s always “stuff” to be done. Kids need rides. The house gets dirty. Groceries get eaten. But what about you? How much do you make taking care of you a priority? It needs to be a conscious decision or it flat out won’t happen! Something more important will come up. I’ve written volumes about the importance of self-care here and how it’s not a selfish act, so I won’t beat that dead horse again.

For anybody who is realizing that your own romantic marriages come into turmoil, you're not on your own. In order to save your romance with your sweetheart, you should revisit the starting and work forward from there. There must have always been a factor that captivated yourself to your soul mate from the start. Review these kinds of earlier period of your own romance and also luxuriate on the love and vividness that came with these initial times. At this point, imagine a lit

As women, we love relationships! But how often do you find yourself asking “How do I get peace of mind relationships?” I mean, they can cause our greatest joys and our greatest heartbreaks! It can be quite a roller coaster if we’re not careful. Today, I’d like to share a simple process for keeping your sanity with the more “difficult to get along with” variety of relationships… How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships Tip #1:

It’s an important question. Life happens. We respond. And suddenly years have passed. This is where we get ourselves into trouble and realize, “This isn’t what I wanted! How did my life turn out like this? I don’t enjoy life right now!” The problem lies in not having asked that little question; “Am I Who I Want to Be?” That question helps keep us grounded and on course. Let’s look at why the 7 little words are so powerful…

If you are trying to tolerate infidelity, I really hope that this article will provide you with some help and a bit of direction. Making it through infidelity is among the toughest and many harmful points an individual can perform and you’ll actually end up being asking yourself exactly how your own marriage may possibly return to an excellent condition. Is it possible to get a reliable romantic relationship once more? The answer is in fact indeed. There are numerous experi

I like to choose 1 word to be my focus and anchor each year. This year I wanted to learn how to find peace in my everyday life. The word I chose is "dauntless". I used to struggle a lot with of fear of rejection, perfectionism and self-doubt. I knew in 2013, it needed to end. You see, I tu 40 this year and I'm done with it. You might be wondering why I didn’t just go with the word "fearless"? Well, it wasn't strong enough! Dauntless means - not to be intimidated, bold, resolutely fearless. Those sound like great words, but how do you go from fear to dauntless?

It’s real easy as a mom to focus on everyone else’s needs. We want everyone to be happy and feel loved. But neglecting yourself doesn’t lead to much balance in life for you. I can hear it now – “Me? I don’t have time to think of me. I’m fine.” Really? If you think your needs are any less important than the other members of your household, I beg to differ sweetheart. I want to challenge that thinking a little.

If you're identifying that your personal relationships are in turmoil, you are certainly not the only one. To save your marriage with your girlfriend, you will want to get back to the starting and work onward from there. There have to have always been an issue that driven yourself to your significant other from the start. Take another look at these kinds of earlier days of your respective romance and luxuriate with the love and vividness that came with those foremost experien

Lots of people talk about the importance of learning how to build confidence, but they just talk in circles without ever getting to the “how to’s”. Personally, I find that extremely frustrating! I recently read a great book called the Right Questions, by the late Debbie Ford. She challenged my way of thinking about many things during the course of the book. But probably the most profound statement for me was, “If we didn’t have the ability to fulfill an authentic desire, we wouldn’t have the desire in the first place.”

As you look at setting different goals in life, I want to encourage you to look at who you need to be rather than just what you need to do. Behavioral changes alone, don’t last. It’s only when we make real, internal changes in who we are that change is maintained. A critical aspect is making sure you’re being authentic. Being “authentic” means that you are genuine and real, not just with others but also yourself. Why is this important when setting goals in life? I’m glad you asked… You take personal responsibility

Leaving a legacy we can be proud of is a huge part of the mission of Vibrantly Live. Part of doing that is teaching the importance of self-care not only for us, as moms, but also for our children. Self-care allows you to be in the right frame of mind to handle life’s every day stressors. If you’re stressed out, exhausted or over-committed just the slightest change of plans can just about send you over the edge!!! C’mon – I know I’m not the only one. :)

We’re continuing our discussion of successful ways to achieve what’s truly important to you. Rather than just focusing on set tasks and trying to push your way through, I’ve been sharing the importance of being a different you prior to starting the tasks. This week, I want to talk about confidence. It’s essential if you’re going to succeed at a new endeavor. But – I can see the quizzical look on your face right now, as you’re wondering, how to build confidence? Isn’t just an innate characteristic? No! Not even close! C’mon let me show you… How to Build Confidence – Tip #1

I had a difficult decisio I was struggling with last month. I kept spinning my wheels going round and round trying to make a decision about moving forward. I kept lamenting: “How can I build confidence in making this decision?” I was stuck in this cycle for over 2 months. I’d been actively praying for direction, and little things had happened to show me I was on track.

Resentment. It’s such an ugly word. You don’t usually think of it when considering how to find happiness! But it’s critical to the process! Let me show you how… What causes resentment? Feeling taken advantage of! As moms, this could be considered a daily occurrence if we’re not in the right frame of mind. We spend each and every day helping others and giving of ourselves. It’s so easy to fall into the “What about me?” trap!

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Peace of mind can come from all sorts of places, but it definitely doesn’t come from assuming things about other people. We jump to conclusions all the time when it comes to people. These assumptions can get us in all sorts of problems. One of the most common errors is assuming someone is or will be disappointed in you. The difficulty with this assumption is that it puts a lot of pressure on you. This fear of disappointing others forces us to spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep people happy. This one can put you over the edge with exhaustion.

This month, I’ll be covering 3 different ways to be happy in the different relationships in your life. It’s something all of us want, but it’s not always the easiest thing to achieve. Why is that? I believe it’s due to assumptions we make. We’re so quick to assume things – a look means “this”, a tone of voice means “that”. But we could be totally off. Unfortunately, because it becomes our perspective of the situation, it becomes our “truth”, when in reality it could be flat out wrong.

For anyone who is discovering that your current romantic marriages come into difficulties, you're most certainly not the only one. In order to save your personal romance with your partner, you need to revisit the start and work forward from there. There need to have been something that driven yourself to your spouse from the beginning. Take another look at these kinds of first periods of your relationship as well as revel inside the appreciation and intensity that followed al

When I talk to the angels in my life, I learn a great deal. Listed below are ten life-altering lessons they've taught me. One. Live your life with integrity. The angels instructed me, "Spend your time performing activities that match your highest intentions. Get rid of things: energies, that yourinner voice prompts you to surrender. Those things: issues,|pain|loneliness|aloneness| emotional discomfort} may either turn into something healed, so that you may enjoy them, or othe

I hear from the women I work with that they just want more of a life of peace rather than all the craziness they experience. What they’re referring to is that they don’t want the rushed, exhausting and stressed out feelings they carry around daily. Sounds good, doesn’t it? But at the same time a lot of women think of peace as the ability to sleep, not do anything and just rest.

Most schools around here are back in session at this point. Finding balance in life may seem like a pipe dream for many. I see the harried expressions of moms as they drive their kids here, there, and everywhere. My foot was the victim of a grocery cart incident as a mother was rushing around with a screaming child trying to finish her shopping as quickly as possible. I get it. But does life REALLY have to be this way?

“How do you find your purpose?” This is one of the most frequently asked questions! All of us what to know that we matter. We want to have an effect on this world. We want to know that everything we’ve gone through in this life was for something and that some type of legacy will be left. The best way to do this is to walk boldly in your purpose.

To have meaningful relationships we need to feel safe enough to be our true, authentic self. This is why one of the best relationship advice ideas I can offer you is to beware of judging others or assuming someone’s judging you. They tend to go hand in hand. If you’re a rather judgmental person, it’s only natural for you to assume others are the same way. If you’re critiquing everyone else’s hair, outfits and relationships – then your perspective will be that everyone else must be doing that too.

Last month I had the privilege of attending a conference with 500 other entrepreneurial women from around the world. We were there to focus on developing a life of purpose to serve in a greater way. It was an incredible experience, being in an environment with all of these other powerful women who are charging ahead, through their own fears and doubts, to make this world a better place.

With all the responsibilities we have, wanting a little more peace of mind is a given. But sometimes we don’t have time to even eat! Where will we find time to boost our mental energy? Before you go into panic mode and wish for extra hours in a day, let’s take a step back. Making sure your mind is clear from clutter allows you to focus on the most important things, making you more productive, thus able to get more done in the amount of time you have.