Grief and Loss Articles

It’s Okay to Crynn“Give sorrow words, the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er wrought heart and bids it break.” Shakespeare A grieving infant, child or adolescent needs help establishing appropriate expressions and outlets for grief. What is grief to one child or adolescent may not be ...

The grief process can be compared to the transformative process of the butterfly. Grievers ofte find themselves stuck inside the safety of the cocoon of grief. There is a sense of feeling lost in the darkness of grief. There is a push-puss feeling that often occurs during grief. Grievers want to move beyond their grief, but often find themselves unable to move out of that dark but secure place that grief can become. The journey of the butterfly from the cocoon is not an easy task.

Who hasn’t heard or said themselves “I just don’t know what to say.” Or “I feel so helpless – there’s nothing I can do!!” Well there ARE things that you can do or say to help those in pain due to the death of a loved one. We can help, and not just in little ways, and it makes a tremendous difference to those we see in pain. Here are a few points to consider when you are trying to help someone who is grieving:

There is something wonderfully reflective about a new year: it's another chance to get it right. At the beginning of each calendar year I separate my life into five important areas: physical, emotional, professional, familial and spiritual. I analyze honestly how I'm doing in each category - well, of course I do; it's my business! Today let me help you to analyze your life.

Grief is more than an emotion. Like love, it goes much deeper. Emotions are generally temporary and subject to change with surrounding circumstances. A child gets a good grade on a test. She is happy and proud (two emotions). Rain dampens a planned party. The hostess is disappointed and frustrated (two more). A friend reneges on a promise. I am angry and hurt (another couple). None of these emotions lasts very long. Each emotion can be replaced by another rather quickly, with merely a change of events. No so grief.

Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume. ~Jean de Boufflers

Many of us, especially those on the spiritual path, tend to look at anger as an entirely negative emotion. However, anger used mindfully can be extremely positive, powerful and ultimately healing. Anger is simply energy, and we always have a choice as to what to do with it. Dzogchen Ponlop, in his recent book Rebel Buddha (2010) aptly states:r

Do you ever wonder why things you try just do not work out? Or you have an idea, but never finish. Here is an answer. It starts with sounding like a tongue twister. Today I am going to share some secrets kept secret in the movie The Secret, based on the Law of Attraction. Guess what the secret is? If you guessed keeping your dreams a secret until they are ready to give birth you were right.

Once again, the month of May presented personal challenges. Memorial Day brings with it my own personal day of remembrance – the anniversary of my daughter’s car crash and death. This May marks three years. Each year, as the date has approached, I have tried to convince myself that it would be just another day, no worse than any other – and every year I am wrong.r

Grief through the eyes of kids By: Yvonne Butler Clark, M.A. How do we talk to kids about grief? Our kids today are bombarded with loss and separation. The death of parent, sibling, or friend, separation from a parent in the military, grandparent parenting, foster care and/or incarceration. ...

1). It is important to recognize that trauma and the resulting grief can result from war crimes, torture, terrorist activity, kidnapping, family violence, assault, sexual abuse, child deaths and other sudden or violent deaths. Other events and circumstances, while not commonly categorized as trauma-such as the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, or the loss of a body part, can also trigger the same responses generally associated with trauma. 2). It is also necessary to

Ever wonder about how to choose a therapist? Today I would like to share my thoughts on this important question. I believe a client can feel more understood when the therapist has clinical experience with the situation the client is bringing to therapy. And, if the therapist has the same personal experience, even better. This implies that the client knows what conce is bringing them into a therapist's office. But if the client doesn't know, an intuitive therapist can quickly assess and understand what is causing the pain in the client's life.

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP Author of When Every Day Matters: A Mother's Memoir on Love, Loss and Life The month of February focuses our attention on love. Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound. What is it about love? We simply cannot get enough of it. "I love you" and "I'm ...

In life we encounter many transitions. Some of them involve losses and therefore grief. But….what is grief? It is the expression of our suffering when someone or something dear to us is no longer at our side. So what happens to us? Is it normal to grieve? For how long? Although I would ...

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

A loved one’s demise is a very painful experience. An obituary or death notice is one significant way of honoring his or her life. The word “obituary” generally applies to the notice in a newspaper announcing a person’s demise. When the time comes in writing obituaries, it won’t be an easy task. There is a dissimilarity between a death notice and an obituary. Since deaths take place so often, there are usually some staff writers at the newspaper who are committed on

When you open yourself to love, you open yourself to loss. When you suffer the loss of someone you love, you experience the painful emotion we call grief because it's a natural response to loss. Yet, to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming because death is a direct blow to our souls.

Has someone you trust told you a secret about your deceased loved one that has added immeasurably to your grief? Where you going through his/her papers and found some information about the past that has stunned you? Has evidence of physical or emotional infidelity turned up upon reading old ...

Letting Go and Moving On After experiencing a major loss, it is sometimes difficult to move on with your life. Before you can look ahead to a brighter future, you need to learn to let go of your painful past. The loss can involve a break up with someone you care deeply about, a job loss, the death of a pet, or the death of a loved one. Whatever you do, don’t give up on the idea that the future can be hopeful.r

Believe in New Beginnings.... When we face a difficult transition or a loss we may think our life is over....that we don't have any hope, or that we don't have options. My purpose in life is to help people embrace hope and make them believe in new beginnings. Because...this is possible. I have gone through so many losses in my life when I thought my life was over...and I found resources inside myself to keep on going and believe there was a tomorrow.r

Spring was in the air and so was hope. My mother-in-law had been turning darker shades of yellow since December. Now there was reason to believe she would improve: doctors were going to operate. We knew it was a long-shot, but nonetheless, we were hoping to keep our dear friend, mother, and wife if only for a little longer. With the scheduled surgery approaching, family and friends pulled together in prayer and fasting for this great woman of faith. Of course, my husband and

On September 11, 2011, we remember the 10th anniversary of the day when nearly 3,000 victims were killed after two airliners were crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City, another plane hit the Pentagon and a final plane crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania. This devastating number of causalities included fire fighters, police officers from NYC, the Port Authority, private emergency medical technicians and many paramedics who came to help.

When I hear the clients in my psychotherapy and grief counseling practice talk in black and white terms, or view their options in terms of extremes, I am reminded of the Buddhist concept of the Middle Way. When the Buddha was asked how one should meditate, he responded "not too tight, not too loose." He analogized this to a string instrument, like a lute: If the strings of the lute are too tight, they will break, and if the strings of the lute are too loose, they won't play.

Dating and Griefr By Sandy Clendenen About a year after my husband died I began feeling extremely restless. Grief kept my mind skittering from one thing to another. Although these restless feelings were confusing, they were at least a bit of a relief from the heaviness of grief’s deep sadness and depression. Somehow, from this agitated state of displaced energy, I decided to try internet dating. It took me awhile to figure out the mechanics, since I knew very little about computers at that time.

We all want to be happy! Mad can sound harsh, but in actuality, feeling upset, in a bad mood, or depression all have roots in being mad. It is nothing to be ashamed of because actually it is normal, as we all have felt mad at one time or another. Most of us will experience a crisis or loss in our lifetime, and how we learn to deal with it, will determine our future happiness and success.

Are you in a state of confusion? Have you made the decision that you will get through this loss? Are you confronting your loss and fears? If not, why not? Peace of mind is the ultimate goal of good grief so that one can begin the work of reinvesting in a life in the absence of the physical ...

"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace." ~ Bob Olso In approximately five years of investigating the possibility of life after death, I have discovered convincing evidence that there really is an afterlife, that we really do continue to exist after death, and that our loved ones continue to watch over us and guide us in the spirit world. But this is just the

Those mou ing the death of a loved one are often told to find closure, let go of the deceased loved one, and go on with their lives. For most, this admonition is tantamount to saying forget about the person. In truth, no one ever forgets the beloved and never wants to since our memories and our ...

In life, we develop habits that shape the quality of life. These habits can be good or bad and may create behavioral patterns. How do we know which these habits are? We just need to take a look into our responses to situations regarding our relationships, transitions, goals, or life in general. Do we tend to repeat the same behavior over and over? Do we wonder why we tend to do the same thing even knowing it is not conducive to a positive outcome?

Can anyone truly define love? I’m not sure because love is so deep a feeling, experienced in a variety of ways, that it makes it extremely difficult to assign words to this elusive emotion. Consequently, love is sometimes better addressed with actions rather than with words. Love can also present itself in disguise and, therefore, not be recognizable at first glance. For example, telling someone the truth is a form of love, even though it may sting a bit in its delivery.

You experienced a horrible loss. The grief has nearly destroyed you. Although you are aware grief has no schedule or timetable, you are a year into your extended mourning session and want it to stop. In fact, you have become nearly paralyzed with sadness and know this can’t go on. What can you do to lift the miasma of sorrow that is threatening to annihilate you? Consider dealing with grief through meditation. What meditation does When an individual meditates, he relaxes th

Hope is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, “To wish for (something) with expectation.” This definition works for most of our life; we hope for, love, success family, travel and wonderful experiences. Hope when we are terminally ill is still hope, but the definition does change.

There IS light at the end of the tunnel! Feel like you are suffocating in the darkness of your pain? Don’t think there’s any hope? When you are in the midst of despair, I want you to know there IS light at the end of your tunnel. You may not think so right now, but it’s there. Many have found it. I found it. Actually, to be honest, God was the light at the end of my tunnel. Through all of my dark, despairing days, when I didn’t think I could cry another tear, God help

There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal. This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made us miss the real nature of loss. It has created a society that is reluctant to express loss and by doing so we heal and keep the loss inside of us, instead of letting it go.

After my husband’s death I spent a great deal of time focused on remembering. At first the focus was confined to the day he died. My mind would check to see if all the details were included in my memories.nnAs relatives gathered, the memory loop expanded. The remembrance became denser as others shared their particular memories.nnThen we each shared the stories he had shared with us. The richness of my husband’s life became increasingly expansive.nnAs the days and weeks pa

Losing a spouse is a devastating experience. Our friend, our partner, our soul mate is now gone and we are lost. It feels as if a part of us has died as well. In my practice, helping individuals deal with the loss of their partner was a common occurrence. Young or old, surviving spouses had an equally difficult time adjusting to this reality. Older couples had usually talked about losing one another and had some inkling of how this would affect them. Younger individuals were

Dear God, I am trying to integrate Heavenletter, #697, What Does Sadness Teach You? It is so good, and I know I am in the verge of understanding it, but not quite getting it. I like the orchestra analogy and only hearing the low notes sometimes when the whole orchestra is playing. My question is: When I am only hearing the low notes, how do I open my ears and heart to the high notes? I mou the death of my three-year old Molly and know my way through sadness. I know that I wi

Mother's Day carries a lot of emotional significance for most grievers. Whatever one's relationship with Mother, this person is our first connection here on the Earth plane. This connection may have lasted a lifetime or it may have ended on the day of birth with adoption, or any number other life circumstances.

The relationship with our pet is one of the most important relationships in our lives. Our pets provide us with love, comfort, joy, and companionship throughout their lives. It is only fitting that we mourn them when they pass on. Grieving the loss of a pet is a healthy way for each of us to work through the emotions that are associated with the relationship. Expressing the emotions is a hehttp://www.selfgrowth.com/node/682646/edit?destination=admin%2Fcontent%2Farticles%3Fpub

GRIEF AND STRESS People who are grieving will experience a wide range of emotions. Anxiety caused by the stress of grief sometimes comes as an unexpected event. People are prepared to feel sadness, but anxiety seems a little more foreign. In order to help validate this very real experience and emotion, I will list seven causes that commonly create stress and anxiety during the grief period.

You visit your sick co-worker in the hospital or at home and he looks terrible. He's not sounding like himself and he's sharing way too much personal information. Then, you happen to see a pamphlet on the nightstand about a scary illness that you were not aware that he has. To top it off, some of his family are there in the room and are bickering. When you head back to the office that afternoon, everyone wants to know how he's doing. What do you say? Here's something to think

Grief is a strange emotion. It is a pain that bores down to our souls when a spouse or child, mother or father, sibling or friend is taken from our life. It is a storm of tears and anger, a string of unanswered questions. It is what remains after funeral and memorial services, when we are ...

When one loses their spouse, a top life stressor, the level of stress experienced can feel extremely overwhelming to the griever. Modern life is filled with stress. And this stress occurs on many different levels. There are the daily stresses of life which are often ignored as trivial. These are things like getting stuck in traffic, noise pollution, lack of sleep, car problems. There can also be deeper causes of stress like excessive worrying, health conce s, fear of poverty, negative self talk, to name a few.

Fear is arguably the most common hidden emotion that mou ers delay confronting. The reason is obvious: no one wants to appear weak. Of course, that is inbred societal nonsense that we have all been subjected to since fear is an expected response whenever we feel threatened by circumstances that have to be faced.r

One of the most difficult phases in any life transition is the space of the unknown between a loss or change, and healing or new beginning. All life changes, even positive ones, entail a sense of loss or grief. For example, there is a sense of loss in giving up addictive behaviors like cigarette smoking, despite the fact that the change is a positive one. Even the change of getting a better job or promotion entails loss -- you might be giving up security, relationships and the comfort of the known in making such a change.

Thoughts and beliefs—both of which are choices you make—are the underpinnings of the attitude you take toward loss. They are the major factors in how you will cope with your loss and to what extent you will experience additional and unnecessary suffering. Regrettably, many of us have been ...

It is very essential to understand and realize that recognizing or admitting the grief promotes the healing process. Grief in itself is a natural and normal reaction or response to loss. It happens in response to the loss of something or a person most especially close to you. The Stages of Grief. It’s important to note that the stages of grief exist; nevertheless, they don’t represent any particular way to react or respond to loss. Instead, the stages of grief reveal a wi

How do you survive Valentine's Day when your special valentine is no longer around? 1) If you are feeling sad or depressed, be honest about it. In the past this may have been a special day for you and n your loved one. But now you are alone. If you are sad, n be being ...