Grief and Loss Articles

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Every single person experiencing the pain of grief would like to know that there’s a hard and fast rule that can tell you when you can expect the pain to go away so your life can get back to “normal”. In the first place, who’s to say what “normal” really is after experiencing a death that’s taken away everything you ever considered to be normal before it happened?

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Written a month and a half after my daughter died, the poem you'll read below was a last ditch effort to hang onto my spiritual faith before I descended in a deep spiral into the ‘despair marker stone’ of *Confrontation - Entering the Depths*, the second of grief’s cycles I endured which led me onward to my healing. (You can refer to my Marker Stones of the Grief Journey series of articles available on this site to learn more about your cycles of grief).

This is the fourth article in a series of 8 articles about some of the prevalent myths that can keep grievers stuck in their grief much longer than necessary. The myth we will focus on in this article is: "Be strong. Others are depending on you." This myth can be a real energy drainer. What ...

Grief and loss recovery requires no method or order. It really depends on the individual, their social background or environment, their emotional strength at the time of their loved one’s passing and it also depends on how they died or what kind of grief. So here we have some sensible ideas of grief recovery which can help or support in some way to get you past some of the hurt and anguish and on your way into grief and loss recovery. 1. If ever you live all by yourself, tr

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller The third cycle of grief is where the good news of your healing journey finally begins to outweigh the bad news and feelings from your experience of loss, grief and bereavement prior to this point, during that ete ity of time when it felt like it’d take forever for you to arrive here. Here are the marker stones of this final cycle of grief ‘Integration - Mending the Heart: • The decline of your grief • The waves of their intensity getting farther apartr

THE STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller If you’re reading this article I’ve got good reason to believe parts of you are still flaming with the pain of your own loss. It’s my sincere hope this series of 10 articles will help in giving you a real sense of the possibilities that lie beyond those fires of hurt. I understand your pain because I feel it too. We have a connection because of it.

STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the third in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about grief – and how you can begin to let go of the pain and torment of this hardest of all life experiences. By now you know exactly what I’m talking about when I call it “pain and torment,” don’t you – because you’ve been living with it while it burns holes not only in your heart, but in seemingly every aspect of your daily life.

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller The journey of your healing from loss, grief and bereavement will continue for you through a lifetime of learning – and from my own experience of having gone through it I’ve come to understand that as a good thing – not something negative to drive me to further despair.

The holidays are not necessarily a happy, merry time - especially for people whose loved one has died during the past year, or even the past several years. In fact, if you're one of multi-millions of people who suffer such a loss each year, the holidays tend to increase the feelings of grief and despair. n nOver four million people die each year in the US leaving countless loved ones engulfed in grief. If you're one of them, chances are the holidays only accentuate your sadne

STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the fourth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about grief; this time about how to start stretching yourself to believe in something (again) – something beyond the darkness and pain of your experience right now.

Losing a loved one is never easy. No matter a person’s age or health, we always grieve when it is time to say goodbye. However, grief should be managed in a healthy way. Mourning too long can disrupt normal life and make it harder to recover. Ignoring or repressing grief can lead to depression and an eventual outburst of pain and mourning. Here are some effective ways to manage your grief following a loved one’s passing. Plan Ahead None of us like to think about the inevi

In the previous article I shared with you one of the most prevalent myths encountered by grievers; namely,"...it just takes time to heal grief." I explained how this myth, along with many others, have been passed down from generation to generation, and how these myths are assumed to be factual ...

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller My granddaughter turned ten years old the other day, and it was as I was calling her to wish her happy birthday that I realized she was already twice as old as the day her mother died. On my granddaughter’s scale of years she has lived another whole lifetime over the past five years.

If you've recently suffered an unexpected loss, know that this isn't something to gloss over or take lightly. You'll need to be intentional about your self-care, and it will take time to fully heal emotionally. Consider the following ways to implement a proper self-care routine to ensure that you have the support and care you need to overcome your loss in a healthy and sustainable way. Seek counseling When you're dealing with an unexpected loss, it can be difficult to determi

HEAVENLETTERS are here to reach every soul on Earth to reawaken:nn* Our connection to God * Our belief in ourselves * Our awareness of our shared worthiness to God Everything God says is meant for all of us. HEAVENLETTER #697 Sadness God said: When sadness overcomes you, for reason, or no reason at all, do not be saddened by it. Sadness comes and goes. Let it come, and let it go. You do not have to be one way and not another. You do not have to be your picture of perfect.

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Every single journey of loss, grief and bereavement is individual and different for each person experiencing it. There can be no hard and fast rules saying that it’s the same for everyone or telling anyone going through the experience how long or short a time period it should last till they break through to their healing.

A eulogy is typically delivered as a speech at a funeral ceremony. It’s at once something personal and a method of involving all of those present in reminiscing some of the good things about the life of someone who has already passed away. Maybe the best and the most effective way to begin approaching the task of eulogy writing is going back to the definition of the word “eulogy”, which originated from Greek words generally translating as “a good word”. A few of us

…and first step to recovering from any life-altering losses Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any major loss. Loss is a part of living and a great many of us are facing losses due to health and financial issues, deaths of family and friends, and painful relationship breakups, whether ...

One of the big questions which comes to mind when you lose your spouse is whether or not you wish to remove your rings. You may also question when is the appropriate time to remove your rings. And you may also hear advice from family and friends about how to handle these deeply personal questions.nnThe night my husband died I was told by the mortuary to remove his wedding ring. Wow. OK. I was in shock.nnI did it. For security purposes, they said. Not sure what that meant, but

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller It’s in this second of the grief cycles that the waters of emotion get deeper and run heavy with the hidden currents of your pain – but again there are marker stones within this part of your experience to help you understand this part of your journey and know it will eventually lead you to your healing. The hard simple truth is that you have to endure the journey – but enduring it is so much less difficult if you understand what it is that you’re enduring.

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller I’ll understand if you’re wondering what a grief buddy* could possibly have to do with the tail rotor of a Bell 206 helicopter…or what lesson of healing value could be found in either one of those subjects. Bear with me here and see for yourself the values of healing from loss, grief and bereavement to be found in both.

There are few things harder than losing someone you love. While some grieving is normal, some people do grieve chronically in a way that will negatively impact their lives. If you have found yourself or a loved one in such a situation, it's vital that you consider the tips below to overcome chronic grieving. Identify the Problem Perhaps the most important step towards overcoming chronic grieving is to understand that it is actually a problem. Being said is not an issue, nor i

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storytellerr You’ve probably seen this sort of example a thousand times before in your life and never had cause to think twice about it on any of those occasions.

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller What are you doing to keep the vision alive in your own heart and mind of the loved one you lost? Finding a way to do so is a vitally important part of dealing with your loss, grief and bereavement because it helps lead you deeper into your healing. Whatever way you choose to help you do this, know that its constant presence around you will serve to keep that connection vital and glowing in your heart and offer a healing reassurance to your wounded soul.

Do you know your net worth? The first time I was asked this question I had no idea what it meant. Even though I paid the bills for our farming business, I really did not pay attention to the bigger picture. I had money to pay the bills. That was the important thing. Right?nnWhen my husband died there were many discussions with advisors about my finances. I was told my net worth. There were financial planning discussions, but no one explained to me what net worth really meant.

It is at special times, a birthday, anniversary, or just the holiday season when the changes in our lives become like elephants in the room. We can’t seem to stop thinking about the loved ones who are missing from our lives. We are constantly dealing with how our lives have changed and how we are forced to live with the way things are. nnThere is no magic wand to make things how we wish they would be. We are taught from a young age how to acquire things but we have to learn

Much of our behavior in adult life is based on the examples we were exposed to as children. Many of these examples were backed up with admonitions, directions and information that were put forth as “truth,” the way it really is. This information becomes emblazoned on the walls of our ...

One of the most important things I do each day is stand on one foot. I know, that sounds silly. I will explain.nnA couple months ago I added a new yoga pose to my morning routine. I begin by standing straight and tall with my feet together. Then I bend at the waist, lifting one leg straight back while stretching my head and arms parallel in front of me.nnAt first I fell sideways quite a lot. It’s good to begin with a chair or wall to your side for balance.nnAs I kept practi

About a year after ny husband died I began feeling extremely restless. My mind seemed to be skittering from one thing to another. in a way, this was welcome relief from the heaviness of deep sadness and depression. But something was missing. Of course, comething was missing. My husband was ...

Bereavement is defined as a state of sadness or loneliness. An individual is in a state of bereavement when that person experiences loss of another person. The loss could be due to relationship breakups, death, loss of pets, someone moving away forever, divorce for instance, loss of employment, etc. thus, the cause for bereavement might be different for each person. Bereavement behaviors are loneliness, anger, guilt, numbness, shock, agitation, etc. Bereavement grief means a

Most recently, another family member passed away and this time so unexpectedly. Our loss impacted our family in different ways. My spouse found the lifeless body of our beloved seven year old German Shepard while I was away on a flying trip. What happened next for us was such an emotional burden of shock and disbelief and learned habits of loss and grief. I received the phone call after my spouse who is medically trained in CPR who tried to revive his body. I then started cry

STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome to the tenth and final in this series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. In this last of the series of ‘Healing Your Grief’ articles, I’d like to draw your attention towards a final vital component of your healing process; that of ‘Your Story – and Telling It Your Way’.

Where has the time gone? I found myself pondering this question over and over these last few days, and couldn't help but notice the impact it was having on my mindset. As the anniversary of my fathers death approached, I became focused on the fact that time was whizzing by. I was "shocked" that a year had passed so quickly, and found myself questioning where I was, and how I had gotten through it all. I was actually surprised that while things were different, everything was

It’s difficult to say goodbye rnWhen love so long has lived rnThe days and hours and memories sharedrnBring sadness home to bid I knew this day would comernAlthough I tried to make it notrnWhen one of us would partrnAnd leave the other caught And though we talked about those timesrnI really thought it would be longrnBut time has crept and comernAnd now my love your gone I’m thankful for the days we laughedrnThe love we shared will not soon be forgottenrnI’ll treasure ev

There is always a reason why somebody grieves. We should not try to fight with our grief because it can lead to frustration and having a negative behavior. Grief and loss are a natural and practical process in our lives. However, dealing with grief and loss is not only practical but also necessary to attain happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Grief could affect our thoughts, feelings, behavior and our relationships with others. We do feel sadness and anxiety, and sometime

Often when we grieve, we are uncertain about how to define our feelings. This can lead to confusion and frustration.nnSadness and depression are often used in the same sentence to describe one’s feelings.nnThe dictionary defines sad as…”feeling sorrow; unhappy…”nnThe dictionary defines depression as…”severe despondency and dejection, especially when long-lasting and accompanied by physical symptoms.”nnFrom these definitions, it clearly sounds like depression i

In working with many bereaved people I have found the basic foundation for coping well with the vast array of losses we all have to suffer through, lies within. Yes, we all need each other or we could hardly bear the pain. But most important of all, we need our own inner strength to deal with it ...

As we continue in this series of articles on the myths of grief I want to discuss the third myth, "Put on a happy face. You'll feel better." With all the recent emphasis on the Law of Attraction, there is an urgency within the culture to be happy. We attract what we think about, says the Law of ...

Nothing in this world compares to finding out your pregnant. The miracle of life itself forming inside of you is enough to cause you pause. For nine months you are a special creation. Carrying around and growing a life inside you that will someday walk and talk is one of the most life changing moments. No matter what the circumstances, or how many children you have already, the loss of that dream, that life is heart wrenching. If your baby was stillborn or lived only a few da

After I turned on my pc to check my mails, the “Bad” news that I saw on Yahoo was the death of Michael Jackson who was barely 50. My initial reaction was death denial. I feel fondness to this person that has caught my attention because of his not so ordinary skill. I immediately read the headlines and look for information that will confirm it and yes, it’s really true. According to the reports, he died due to cardiac arrest which is quite “Dangerous”. His sudden dea

Planning funeral arrangements are never easy, as it involves pain, mourning after the loss and the discomfort of preparing for the family and loved ones left behind. In this article, I will share some tips regarding funeral arrangements and some facts, too. 1. As death takes place in the family, the primary instinct of most people is to call their family doctor. True enough, the family physician (or any alternative if necessary) would be in service of, and confirm the fact of

Do you know your net worth? The first time I was asked this questio I had no idea what it meant. Even though I paid the bills for our farming business, I really did not pay attention to the bigger picture. I had money to pay the bills. that was the important thing. Right? When my husband died ...

Grief is a terribly unfortunate feeling, but it's one that virtually all people encounter at some point in their lives. Along with the grief come some common platitudes meant to comfort the bereaved. Falling victim to common myths about grief often actually prevents people from fully healing and completing their own journey. Myth: You'll Cry All The Time In the movies and on television, when a person passes away, those around him or her often burst into uncontrollable fits of

The complicated feelings involved in the grief process can continue for some time. One common problem grievers often encounter is the inability to concentrate. While there are certainly other reasons why you may be unable to concentrate, grief can very definitely bring on loss of concentration. Grief requires a great deal of emotional energy. There are often conflicting emotions. Your focus can become scattered.nnAs I said above, this is a normal response to grief experienced

Even as adults, coping with grief and loss is never easy--how much more for grieving children? While we talk about how we mourn for the death of our loved ones, so often we overlook how our youngsters grieve and they usually don't know how to cope with loss and it can affect their sense of security. In explaining grief and loss to grieving children: Be honest and direct, but also be very gentle. Try not to connect death with "sleeping". Grieving children may misinterpret it a

Several researchers state that suicide is depression left untreated. Suicide rates have diminished over the past decade many thanks to new treatments for depression. It ranks 11th as the leading cause of death, and suicide is a very serious subject to deal with and talk about. There are 500,000 unsuccessful suicide attempts every year serious enough to justify or call for a visit to the emergency room. Each and every completed suicide is a successful attempt. There are severa

When a child has died, friends and relatives often have no idea how to provide support to the family during the stressful holiday season.nnFollowing are 10 ways The Compassionate Friends, the world's largest self-help support organization for bereaved families, suggests for you to help families that are going through the natural grieving process after the death of a child.nn1) Expect the unexpected. The family has no road map of how to survive the holidays when they are livin

For some of us, mother’s day was wonderful and beautiful . Hopefully we can give thanks today for the wonderful times we shared yesterday with our families.nn For others, mother’s day was tearful and sad . My thoughts go out to all those in grief who no longer have mothers who are living in the physical body. Know that your mothers are in the world of spirit and their spirits are around you. My thoughts go out to all of you who have living mothers or mothers in spirit who