Life Transitions Articles

Some people say that life starts at 40, and we’d be inclined to agree. At 40, you’ve got stuff figured out. You’re not struggling with your first job or navigating dating with youthful naivety. You probably have a career, know what you want in life and you know how to have fun. While there are certain things you might need to get to grips with as you get older, on the whole, you’ll be moving towards a more positive and productive mindset. If you want to hit refresh at

Every time I hit the pavement I delight in how great running is for stress relief, meditation, feeling freedom and nature (which in Chicago could be joyous or extremely irritating, even within minutes of one another…) but ultimately, for the process of generating unexpected ideas, and on occasion, moving revelations. Today was one of those days. As some know, I made a huge decision to divert from a “successful” career to pursue my deeper desires, and hopefully in the process, empower others to freedom and inspiration along the way. This has been a freeing, exciting, and terrifying path!

Light fading, time passing, big boy is ten, baby isn’t a baby and the time for having babies is over. The pregnant woman in the check-out line and it’s eleven years ago, pregnant with my own belly of hope and love, on the threshold of everything new and exciting. There was pain then, too, but it’s the joy and anticipation that come flying from past to present now, another layer of recognition that a stage of life is over. Oh, this life. Oh, the highly sensitive soul with the acute awareness of the passage of time and how it just keeps on marching on.

I often receive a version of the following email:

I find myself at that awkward stage in life, somewhere between 50 and death. That being the case, at this stage in my life I better become whatever it is I want to become. Actually, I like being older better than being younger. When you are younger the potential for screwing up is so much greater, and the consequences can last a lifetime. I think I’ve made most of my major mistakes by now, and have learned from most of them. Now I feel brave enough to embrace success or risk failure. If I make a mistake that lasts the rest of my life, well I’m 50… how much longer could that be?

When I started reading business books, one of the genre I picked up was biographies/life stories/success stories of successful people. Gates! Jobs! Buffet! But not all of us can be those people; nor will our circumstances be the same as theirs when they were able to achieve phenomenal success. There is yet another category of people, ordinary people, who have achieved career success. They may not have made billions, but their success and growth in career is noteworthy and wor

There is so much pain in this world. There’s personal pain that often takes the form of anxiety, depression, addictions, and intrusive thoughts. There’s the physical pain of illness, injury, and disabilities, both short-term and chronic. There’s relationship pain when we endure conflict with partners, children, friends, colleagues, bosses, and family members. There’s community pain when we witness homelessness, poverty, isolation, and elder and child abuse.

Living abundantly is something I believe everyone aspires to. Yet, very few people truly live an abundant life. Rising poverty, divorce and unemployment rates speaks of more and more people not living a prosperous and abundant life. Part of the problem is most people are turning their attention to the wrong thing. After seeing movies and reading books like The Secret, there is this misconception about manifesting prosperity. Firstly, prosperity is and never was about money; and so many are focused on the money. Money is a means to the end, not the end itself.

Have you ever ordered a piece of ‘assembly required’ furniture, glanced at the cryptic instructions, put them down in frustration and tried to figure it out on your own, because, really, how difficult could it be? Perhaps it isn’t so difficult, but planning would better ensure the intended end result. Be honest, how many of us have taken a look at our final masterpiece, and realized some unfinished wood was on the outside instead of the inside?

Our culture entrains us not to know who we are. From the time we’re born and continuing into our early years, we’re conditioned to exte alize our sense of self through being told when and how to eat, sleep, play, socialize, learn. Although this may be changing, the dominant child-raising culture teaches parents and educators literally to train babies and children to eat and sleep on a schedule.

In April 2015, I had a dream while on vacation in Los Angeles: Robert Johnson, the Jungian analyst who has informed so much of my work, came to me and said, “It’s time to write another book and it’s mostly written.” I woke up, faithfully wrote it down as I do with most of my dreams, then filed it away in some far-back recess of my mind.

More than a tag line, “From Vision to Victory” is a way of life. It is the heart of self growth. It’s the story of my life and it can be yours in seven simple steps. At what seemed like a stopping point to me, Napoleon Hill’s classic book, "Think and Grow Rich," had me thinking. “What if--what if I could become a mid-level manager in five years?” I would be on easy street instead of the poverty level. Audaciously, I wrote that thought on paper as though it were a goal then went back to work. It seemed like an impossible dream. I was just a part-time admin person.

How do you figure out what to do in life and how to do it? Start from your purpose. Get practical practice by choosing three small steps to do for now that matter to you. Then? Do one! Why does this approach work? Because goals matter to your growth. Indeed, goals help you to figure out “What’s Next?!” from one moment to another. Imagine a life without goals. You’d be constantly distracted. You’d be chasing any thought that crossed your mind. You’d blindly follow any message

When working with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, the essential component is to resist the gravitational and habitual pull to attach onto the stories that appear like planets in our inner galaxy and assume that they’re true. The story of the day – whether it centers around your relationship, your fertility, your job, your health, or your children – occupies so much space and presents its argument with such conviction that the untrained mind will naturally attach and interpret in a lightening flash second.

“Grant me daily the grace of gratitude, to be thankful for all my many gifts, and so be freed from artificial needs, that I might lead a joyful, simple life.” rn~ Edward Hays Throughout all of the writings on manifesting prosperity there is one common denominator – gratitude. We are told over and over, again and again, that unless we are in a spirit of gratitude, we cannot manifest what we truly desire. I have read dozens of books, reports, and articles on creating an abundant life and manifesting prosperity, and they have all spoken of gratitude.

The term “Lowering the Bar” has its roots in athletic competition. When young athletes are learning to high jump or pole vault, good coaches understand that it is important to give them a goal which is actually attainable. After they master the process of making successful jumps, “the bar” is progressively raised, thereby encouraging them to extend their limits. In daily practice sessions, athletes begin with a lowered bar, working up to their maximum limit. It’s st

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." ~ Michael Jordan, basketball star Throughout the course of my coaching practice, with individuals and groups, I often hear women say things like, "But it's so hard!" or "That's easier said than done." M. Scott Peck's wonderful book The Road Less Traveled opens with the line, "Life is difficult." So, my question as a coach is yes, life is difficult, now what? Okay, we have established that life is difficult, life is full of obstacles, challenges, disappointments, and upsets. That is a given.

A great deal of my work centers around shattering myths about love, romance, and intimacy that cause untold amounts of anxiety in relationships and sexuality. If we start with the very basic “doubt means don’t” slogan that permeates the culture of romantic love, we see immediately what happens when we dismantle this pernicious myth: we’re free to experience the very common and often necessary doubt that arises in the face of real risk, and we realize that the more we make room for the doubt, the more it shrinks.

Okay, a show of hands – How many of you feel that March is the ficklest month of the year? I do! To me, the weather here in the Northeast is a BIG reason I feel that way. For example, one day it can be sunny and near 60 degrees. But the very next day can be a snowy, blustery, cold day not even getting out of the 20’s! It’s as though throughout the month of March there is a constant transitional dance between winter weather and spring. Sometimes I think Mother Nature is

We live in an ageist culture. It’s not only that we’re terrified of death and hurry to sequester the topic away under the nearest rock or stuff it into the closest corner; it’s that, in a culture that reveres youth, beauty, and physical perfection, we fear aging itself. We fear the lines that inevitably appear on faces. We fear the roundness and softness of skin and bodies. We fear the gray hairs that sprout out as if to say, “Welcome to aging!

For all humans, but especially the highly sensitives, one of the most difficult truths to accept is that all seasons pass, all stages come to an end, all beings die. Just as the gorgeous peach tree in full-tilt pink spring bloom drops its blossoms to reveal summer fruit, then drops its leaves in autumn’s melancholic dance to stand bare-limbed in winter, so we watch with grasping hearts as life closes out: from people and animals we love passing from this planet to childhood ending to the day’s close.

The number one reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten.” ~ Vaibhav Shah When I first read this quote it rang true for me; I think we all can relate to it in some way. But then I found myself reading it over and over again. Although it is a true and relatable statement, something about it seemed odd. Why do we tend to feel this way? There is much in life that exists that is intangibl

They are everywhere… at your jobs, in line at the grocery store, walking down the streets in broad daylight! If you ask how they are, they say things like “Good,” “Busy” and “Thank God it’s Friday!” They seem like normal people, but they are dead, no life force, nothing to drive their souls. Sometimes, they appear in mirrors. Are you one of them? I’m talking about those who go about life without a purpose and wondering what they are on the planet to be. They work to pay the

Teaching pre-vocation skills to the special needs population should be a primary focus for educators. The school years come and pass, and during this time we put our heart and souls into teaching our students everything we can. But as these precious years of active learning march on, we need to seriously think about the next stage for our students with autism and other disabilities. What will happen when the road of school years ends abruptly? Will our students stop at the cr

Sometimes we encounter real resistance when we are attempting to go in a new and sometimes threatening direction in our lives. We find that despite the best treatment, support, motivation, and medications; we are resistant to change. We have chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic sadness and a sense we are overwhelmed. In these cases it is sometimes beneficial to attack the problem from a loss benefit analysis. Even though the old thought pattern, illness, or behavior has tangible negative impact on our lives, there is a reciprocal benefit which may be known only to the presenter.

My favorite fairy tale when I was a child was Rumpelstiltskin, the story of a girl who makes a bargain with an imp-like creature in exchange for saving her life from being executed by the king. First she gives the imp a necklace, then a ring, then promises her firstbo child. But when her child arrives, she begs the imp to let her keep it. He says he will if she can guess his name.

It has been said that what you focus on expands. This is very true, yet there is one critical element to focus – it is your choice what you focus on. You can consciously choose to focus on those things that do not serve you and do not add value to your life – like scarcity, lack and not enough. Or, you can choose to deliberately focus on the things that you desire and want to see expand in your life – like prosperity, health and wealth.

Who am I? Is the question that comes to mind as I sit here. What purpose does this transformation serve? What is the benefit? Well, I can tell you that who I am now is not who I was 3 years ago or even last year. Along with the world changing, so am I. Looking deep within me has prompted a lot of change in and around me and is becoming more and more apparent. The life that I used to lead was not bad, just empty. There was no purpose, besides the normal things of being a wonde

The Writer's Magic Wand If anybody should ask, which profession comes closest to having the power of the Creator, almost every one would cite his own: The priest would say he preaches, so he has the spirit. The engineer would say he builds, so he likewise creates. The lawyer would say he finds truth, so he dispenses justice. The educator would say he teaches, so he molds a person's mind. The politician would say he administers, so he controls the people. The father would say he works, therefore he supports life. The mother would say she cares, therefore she loves. Et. al.

Of the infinite benefits of social media, another has been the introduction of new jobs and opportunity into the economy at a time when it is critically needed. The other side of this coin is that many people believe that because they spent years using Facebook, they automatically qualify as a “Social Media Expert”. Businesses often fail to look beyond the lack of business world application due to their urgency to get online, and resist making the financial investment to do it strategically.

I met Andrea in my first round of Open Your Heart in May 2013. Every time she posted on the forum, I was moved and inspired by the depth and clarity of her writing, and her ability to transpose her inner world into words. When she shared this story with me over email, I immediately asked if she would be willing to share it on my site, as I knew it would provide light and inspiration for those struggling through dark night of the soul, especially when sexuality is effected.

One of the great things about being human is that we can change. We are in complete control of the way we live our lives. Unlike the other species on this planet, we do not live based on instincts. Our process of thinking is controlled entirely by us, and then we control how we act on these thoughts. We are unique as a species in our ability to change. Your own ability to change can make you unique as a person. You control just how unique you are, being that you can make your

When my daughter sees a dog or a playground or anything she’s come to associate with joy, she goes into full body excitement mode, in complete anticipating of the fun she’s about to have. Big smile, squealing, legs kicking, arms flailing and pointing … the fun begins before we even pet the dog or get on a slide. It’s amazing and inspiring. If only we adults, could see life as the anticipation of joy then we would know how to play while we live. I was inspired to jot this do

One way separated couples with kids have found a way to coexist without conflict is through "parallel-parenting" or "parallel co-parenting". This is an agreement made by divorced parents in which they are able to co-parent by means of disconnecting from each other and having as little direct contact as possible. When the Dream Doesn’t Come True Everyone hopes and longs for the day that they find their special someone. It is no secret that most people can't wait until they t

Life Transitions Written by Randi G. Fine Transition is uncomfortable and difficult but nothing in life would exist without it. Transitions have beginnings and ends. We cannot possibly know what is in store for us, but hindsight of our past will assure us that everything will work out for the best. The confusion will pass, clarity will be restored, and our vitality for living will return. The end will always come, followed by a new beginning. Change is an inevitable reali

We humans need to communicate with one another; we must interact and express our intentions to each other, the more preferred method being through verbal means. Our history as an entire specie is filled with examples of civilizations rising to full heights when we fully understand what is expected of everyone - be it as priest, soldier, or slave. Progress never materializes when we do not talk.

We all have inside of us a well of Self. This is a fluid well that is continuously being drained and refilled by how we spend our time, depleted and nourished by how we move through our inner and outer worlds. When the well is full, we are resourced and regulated, which means we’re more adept at handling life’s stressors, including the inevitable anxiety that frequently traipses through the door of the highly sensitives.

Self-esteem is a term used for the way we think and feel about ourselves. It's the key to either success or failure. The direction of your life will depend on your self-concept. It's a fact that successful people have healthy self-esteem and respect themselves, while those that struggle with life have low self-esteem and a negative view of themselves. Most psychological problems/disorders can generally be traced back to one having a low or poor concept of 'self'.

Life Transitionsr Written by Randi G. Fine Life is a series of beginnings and endings. Seasons change; trees blossom and then go barren, flowers bloom and then go dormant, day turns to night, years begin and they end, we are born and we die. Endings are not sudden, nor are beginnings. They come about through the process of transition. Transitions, the uncertain spaces between the beginnings and endings of change, the pauses and processes of life, are inevitable. Life does

What do new, future-focused careers have in common? They represent America’s highest needs. rnThey require a reasonable investment in time and credentialing in order to qualify. rnThe time to plan is NOW if you want or need to continue to work THEN! The restructuring of American business continues to put great pressure on the traditional relationship between employer and employee. With all this fracturing of businesses into different and smaller units, employers can’t gua

This is a story about what happens when we forget to make room for grief around transitions. It’s a story that illuminates the heart of a highly sensitive person, and how easy it is to overlook and minimize the tende ess of our hearts. It’s a story of remembering my own medicine, and how easy it is to forget.

"Be around people who can keep your energy and inspiration high. While you can make progress alone, it's so much easier when you have support." ~ Dr. Joe Vitale “Who is the most nutritious person in your life? Think about how that person makes you feel about yourself. Does he or she constantly challenge you; constantly encourage you; cause you to come up just a little higher than you would normally?

Let’s imagine that there are invisible tracks streaming like ribbons in the ether of psyche. Some of these tracks resonate at a higher vibration and some move at a lower vibration. The tracks of higher vibration carry the feelings that emanate from the source of ourselves: sadness, joy, contentment, fear, uncertainty, disappointment, and, of course, love and gratitude. When the channels are clear, we can easily connect to these source feelings, which allows us to remain in the flow of the river of life without obstruction.

At the core of anxiety – whether health anxiety, death anxiety, relationship anxiety, or generalized anxiety – is the need for safety. As I’ve been writing about in my last few posts, left to our own unguided minds, the ego will latch onto our stories to try to gain a foothold into the ever-changing flow of an uncertain world in an attempt to create safety. This never works.

When Henry Ford first dreamed of building a horseless carriage, he was entertaining what most folks considered to be pure fantasy — even though it had already been done, albeit somewhat crudely, by others. With the encouragement and assistance of his devoted and loving wife Clara, Henry succeeded in building a lightweight, relatively low cost conveyance — in her kitchen! That humble beginning spawned a major segment of the US auto industry. Fantasies are Impossible Dreams

The essence a good mathematics system will be to make it possible for each and every pupil to formulate an excellent foundation around quantity aspects, number perception, put benefit in addition to fundamental math concepts procedures. Response to Assistance (RTI) is really a multi-tier technique of offering the essential help for every university student to achieve success. Although some people might students love easy idea of the actual methods and procedures qualified in

When we lose our “mojo” and self-confidence is not only painful, but it can keep us stuck in a fearful and emotionally uncomfortable place. “Mrs. Doubtyourself” is the name I give that voice in your head that is your voice of doubt. If you listen to it, it will keep you stuck, scared and keep you from moving forward. It is important to identify it for what it is, push it aside, and let your confident voice take over. Once you know the enemy (Mrs. Doubtyourself) you can more easily defeat it. It is paramount to understand that this voice speaks to everyone, as we all have self-doubt.

Everything is going just perfectly! You’ve been offered that promotion you always wanted and you finally have the role you have craved. Fantastic. You drink the celebratory glasses of wine with family and friends. You are so delighted and secretly very proud of yourself. Time passes and you must admit, its great finally setting the direction and doing things your way. You are good at your job and getting good results. The fast car is great and you’ve been on a couple of real

When we spiral down into the deeper layers of anxiety – whether relationship anxiety or any other form that anxiety takes – we find some universal root causes that live at the center. These exist on both the emotional and psychological/spiritual planes, and they all need our attention if we’re going to heal.