Psychology Articles

Question: The narcissist is not entirely responsible for his actions. Should we judge him, get angry at him, be upset by him? Above all, should we communicate to him our displeasure? Answer: The narcissist knows to tell right from wrong. He is perfectly capable of anticipating the results of ...

Diversity is all around us. Most often people associate the word with differences in ethnicity, language, gender, values, sexual orientation, culture, economic class, or religion. The news talks about it, companies provide training about it, churches offer symposiums about it, and universities have curriculums about it. But psychological diversity is often overlooked. That’s probably because it is the one very real diversity that can’t easily be discerned by looking at so

Disclaimer Statistically, the majority of abuse victims are female and most abusers are male. Still, we should bear in mind that there are male victims and female offenders as well. Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, ...

Well into the eighteenth century, the only types of mental illness - then collectively known as "delirium" or "mania" - were depression (melancholy), psychoses, and delusions. At the beginning of the nineteenth century, the French psychiatrist Pinel coined the phrase "manie sans delire" (insanity without delusions). He described patients who lacked impulse control, often raged when frustrated, and were prone to outbursts of violence. He noted that such patients were not subje

What if humans had spent many centuries contemplating on the trends of motivation which sit outside the awareness of individuals and support the choices they make? The Enneagram is a system with profound origins which has been built and evolved through several years and several frameworks. It is more than just an exercise in personality typing: it is actually a method of identifying center patterns of behavior and motivation in order for you to make modifications and alterati

Cognitive development focuses on how children learn and process information. It is the development of the thinking and organizing systems of the mind. It involves language, mental imagery, thinking, reasoning, problem solving, and memory development.nnBy general consensus, Jean Piaget stands as THE central theorist in contemporary child study. He developed a whole field of cognitive development, observed regularities in children's performances that no one has noted before him

Alas, the recent break-up of a nine year relationship was painful enough. But when my ex-partner’s daughter indefinitely suspended (if not permanently ended) weekly 3-5 minute Skypeing and my periodic visiting with her 3 ½ year old daughter (i.e., my ex’s grandchild), because the mother felt “confused” by the split (initiated by her mother) along with being “tired of saying ‘Yes’ when she wanted to say ‘No’”…well, the loss, pain, and grief go very, very deep.

When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BP), whether it’s a sudden realization or a long-known fact, it can be challenging. Those in relationships with BP individuals may be subject to unique forms of manipulation or toxicity. Recognizing these habits of the BP is the first step to liberation. I will address different toxic tools here so you can pick from both articles the toxicity that you are experiencing. You may not have all of them and I may not address all of the ones you are experiencing. I also am addressing emotionally leaving the damage of the BP.

Why is it that so many of us put ourselves second? Why is it that we often sacrifice what is good for us to make someone else happy, and why is it such a difficult transition to start putting ourselves first? I see this issue not only every day in my office but also at times in my own life. Of course, there are those people who no matter what, without any regard for the other, place themselves first; but that is someone who is arrogant. We are not discussing arrogance here. We are simple discussing how to make a healthy transition into learning to put ourselves first.

Gaze into your child’s eyes and you will discover the true essence of life. Being a parent is the most miraculous and rewarding gift a human being can be given. I can remember the pure ecstasy and bliss that filled my heart when I watched the birth of my twin boys, Matthew and Alexander. A ...

Hypnosis – is it magic? Not really, but a lot of my patients tell me it is. While hypnosis is not a magic wand, it does become so to paralyzed patients when they find they can walk again, and to patients who have suffered for years with chronic pain, when they find that their pain is gone. ...

For this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please. The focus of wanting approval may keep us from acknowledging abusive behaviors coming from the very person whose approval we seek. The need for harmony might prevent us from realizing we are enabling abusive behavior. Or any combination of the above.

Parents often bring their child (or children) to a counselor or therapist to help "fix" behavioral problems exhibited by the child. These behaviors could be some form of conduct or adjustment disorder, general disobedience, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, relationship issues or any number of psychosomatic complaints. Although this is likely a good step to take, parents need to realize that a child's misbehavior is more often than not a symptom of a family dysfunction.

There is great confusion regarding the terms co-dependent, counter-dependent, and dependent. Before we proceed to study the Dependent Personality Disorder in our next article, we would do well to clarify these terms. Codependents Like dependents (people with the Dependent Personality Disorder), codependents depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of both inconsequential and crucial daily and psychological functions. Codependents are nee

The American Psychiatric Association is now working on the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, otherwise known as the DSM. There will be some new categories as well as some possible exclusions of what is considered a “mental illness.”

It really is up to you every day whether you see divorce support as a curse or a blessing! Whether you are the giver or the receiver, I recommend you reframe it as a blessing. Is this easy? Of course not! However, if you actually go through the trauma of getting divorced and you stay married through your anger that seems pretty self-destructive! Remember, "Letting someone live rent free in your head" has bigger costs than a monthly check.

Everyone has at least one. One family member that ruins the holiday for everyone, if you let them. Self hypnosis can help. My downloads contain a track for deep breathing, something you can do at the family dinner table, while driving, pretty much anywhere. There is also a guided meditation in addition to the hypnosis track. The tracks are split up intentionally to allow you to pick and choose based on time limitations, given how busy we all are, espeically this time of year. Check them out on itunes or via my website at www.umfer.org.r

rnWhat are some important features of human sexual desire? Two neuroscientists falter badly in their attempt to answer the question in their book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the World’s Largest Experiment Reveals About Human Desire (Dutton, New York, 2011).rnScouring internet data, the authors, Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, analyzed millions of web searches, websites, erotic videos, erotic stories, personal ads, and digitized romance novels. The resulting behavioral data pr

He had come to see me that Monday afte oon, a few months ago. Just a couple of days earlier he had been raped in jail; four men held him down while a fifth one abused him. “My soul has been destroyed.” We drank home-made juice on my balcony. I told him: “I hear what you say. Can you believe however, anywhere in your ‘system’ that your soul can’t be destroyed? It’s our ego’s – our self-perceptions – that get hammered. Our souls can never be doused in water – they are an undying fire, deep within. A soul is a tiny piece of God.” He recognized what I spoke about, and took it to heart.

Divorce can be ugly. Courts can make it uglier. I think we are all in agreement "settle out of court". How can a couple do that when they are fighting to the extent they are filing for divorce? You are probably going to get tired of hearing me say first always "Fight for your Marriage."

It is important to remember that in most cases affairs are symptoms of something deeper that is going on in intimate relationships, of which couples may not have been aware. And here is where I can see the silver lining. The affair is such a shocking event in their lives that couples cannot ignore it, while in the past they may have ignored other, less obvious symptoms.

Your feelings are significant. Your opinion counts. Your ideas are valuable. Yet, all too often, if you give voice to these matters in the middle of a heated exchange, your input will be distorted or discarded. Indeed, striking while the iron is hot may get you scalded. Though you may be ...

Goodbye trophy wife. Hello, trophy kids. Young, gorgeous women hanging on the arms of an older, affluent guy is so yesterday. Alpha kids with high status achievements are the trophies of today. Yes, raising kids with every imaginable benefit can pay off. Many of them are remarkably talented in diverse areas - not only academically but in technology, sports, drama, music, art, dance and more. You name the field, you probably know someone who knows someone whose kid won a regional, national or international award for achievement in that field.

When you’re first diagnosed, you may not even know what questions to ask. And the answer to one question often leads to many more questions about things you may not have considered before. It’s hard to take in a lot of new information when you feel anxious. It’s normal to need information to be ...

"What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do." Tim Ferriss How did we become a society that cannot hear the word No? Why are we so sensitive to being told No? There is yes and there is No, there is night and day, dark and light, yin and yang, and on and on. So to be balanced and have strong minds we need to accept No in the same way we accept yes.

We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side ~! These are our rules!!! Please note that these are all numbered "1” ON PURPOSE ! rn1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong

Are all personality disorders the outcomes of frustrated narcissism? During our formative years (6 months to 6 years old), we are all "narcissists". Primary Narcissism is a useful and critically important defense mechanism. As the infant separates from his mother and becomes an individual, it is likely to experience great apprehension, fear, and pain. Narcissism shields the child from these negative emotions. By pretending to be omnipotent, the toddler fends off the profound

How long have you been trying to find the right formula to make money online? Me? About 8 years. Have you ever joined an internet marketing company that you were excited about, only to find out you had to spend even more money once you joined to get to the next level? Have you had to purchase additional tools to build your business or to purchase traffic for your site? Have you been made promises that haven’t been fulfilled? Have you gotten frustrated and given up? I have.

The hair color that you choose as well as your hairstyle, broadcast specifically how you want to impress others. Aryan Complex: Beauty, epicureanism, tempered with limitation and worldly wise indicate the real you. Black Hair: You prefer to be viewed as mystic and secretive, not to mention mysterious. Bouffant and Pompadour: For someone to try to get you to change your hairstyle is comparable to change your very lifestyle, they just might as well forget that. Crewcut: Moderat

Many people experience mixed emotions about Valentines Day because they allow their personal circumstances to dictate their responses to this celebration. Those without partners may feel reminded of their deep-seated beliefs that somehow their lives are not complete and Valentine's Day is thus met with depression and sense of lack. Those with partners are often influenced by exte al influences as to how their partners should act, for example red roses or other romantic gift. and they feel disappointed regardless of personal displays of affection by their partners.

Is the natural state of a human happy and if so does mental illness, which leads to depression require fuel to shift one's mood from a natural state to a depressed one? Does mental illness, like fire, need fuel to maintain itself? Could mental illness be fueled by self destructive coping mechanisms? Consider a person who has suffered tragedy and turns to drink to cheer himself up. Alcoholism is likely to create more problems and more depression. If the person then copes with

Partnership Driving Partnership Driving, is a method of driving in which the passenger is designated by the driver as a partner in driving. The two set up an informal contract between them that expresses the terms they mutually agreed on. The contract is for one trip only, and needs to be renewed each time. Here is an example of a typical Partnership Driving Agreement or PDA: 1. I, the driver, designate you the passenger, as my driving partner for this trip. 2. As my driving

Living without a backbone sets you up for severe consequences in the domains of health, finances, career, friendships, romance, recovery and your dignity for starters. What does this mean? How can this be? It means you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and even worse you have insidious rationalizations on why you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. It can “be” for many reasons, but for openers because of dysfunction or perceived dysfunction in your family of origin. Enter chemical dependency and your recovery and we have a huge mess.

If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate ...

Clients come to my office for a number of reasons. For example, when they’re feeling depressed, when they’re feeling anxious, and when they are experiencing conflict in their relationships, but also when they’ve become bored with their lives. For these people, meaning and engagement in life seemed to have disappeared without conscious awareness, and not all of a sudden. Instead, it seemed to filter out slowly and they just woke up one day and experienced an emptiness that wasn’t previously there.

If you are: capable of more than you are accomplishing; frustrated that you are not making more money; \ Stuck in a rut and not getting what you want; bored with yourself; silently enduring an emotionally barren life or marriage; trudging, zombie-like, through an unchallenging ca

“It’s all about what they don’t say than what they do.” Business is a tough game, piled high with challenges, obstacles, problems and, of course, reward, that usually comes when you’re ready to give up. Owner-managers and founding directors face major dilemmas throughout both the start-up and growth phases of their businesses, such as how to write an effective business plan that allows finance to be raised; how to make a strategy that drives business growth; how to manage business’s finances effectively, so that over years to construct a business that grows, not that survives.

This is a difficult topic. No one can tell you how to be a parent. But with that said ... please read on. Teens need rules. Teens do not need more and more freedom even though that is what they tell you they need and want. As a parent you need to set limits for all your kids - they bump against the limits and fight them but that is a good thing. It's how they learn what are the rules for our culture. If you keep moving the limits as kids bang against them - they never understand limits.

So many women I interviewed when writing my book reported saying yes to sex just to get the sex over with and have the person go away. Others reported saying yes to sex to have the person like them. Others reported gaining weight so they wouldn’t have to say no to dating and sex. Many reported losing weight, feeling attractive, and wanting to put the weight back on so they wouldn’t have to deal with the dating and sex game. Others reported being raped because when they said no, it wasn’t respected.

In a world where encounters with sources of aggression and violence, trauma and grief are all too common, understanding the dynamics of “critical incidents/hazardous events” – both for adults and/or children directly impacted and for those encountering second-hand effects – is vital. This “train the trainer/caregiver” workshop is for family members or close friends, colleagues, educators, religious or community leaders, emergency responders, or an array of helping professionals.

If you only read self-help books and articles by many pop-psychologists, you would likely believe that changing how you think, feel, and behave is a relatively easy process once you decide to do so. Many people write in such a way that leads you to believe it should be as easy as deciding to change and instant change occurs. Deciding to change is only the first of many steps toward the attainment of lasting and permanent change. It will require a commitment of your time and effort to reach your desired goal.

Recapr

Intuition - the ‘sixth sense’ - has had a rather chequered history. At various times it was considered a gift bestowed on only a few, a curse leading to persecution or a form of woo-woo imagination children were taught to suppress. Although some individuals seem naturally wired for strong intuitive abilities - as others are for athletic or musical talents - that kind of intelligence can be enhanced by most sensitive people. What form does intuition take?r

Many people have been studying and discussing the mysteries, the pains and the joys of love as long as humans learned to communicate with each other. With the discovery or reading and writing, personal experiences, as well as emotional and logical theories about love were left by earlier generations to the ones who followed them. These theories ranged from sensible and pseudo-scientific to bizarre and farfetched.

Relationship shapes our lives. There are times when a relationship is heart shaped, and times when a relationship is another shape altogether, maybe even dagger shaped. An individual mood can make all relationships conform to a particular shape, from, for instance,’ I love everyone’ to ...

In a world that has gone so far out of control many are seeking some comfort in practices of certainty. Many want to have some stability, tradition and thereby peace of mind. Not surprisingly the “good old days” are remembered with relish even if they weren’t “so ...

The greatest risk to our children doesn't come from strangers but from friends and family. In light of the devastating events that allegedly took place at Penn State and Syracuse Universities, we now see fresh evidence of horrific child sexual abuse that continues to be all too prevalent in our society. How many children have been violated and are living with the horrible emotions, too frightened to come forward? Although it is impossible to put a cocoon around your children, there are many measures that you can put to use, which will mitigate the danger. VULNERABILITYr

Many business owners are puzzled when their atto ey or CPA suggests that they should meet with me before proceeding with signing a contract or structuring a reorganization or resolving a partnership disagreement. What's a psychologist have to do with business anyway? "I don't need a ...

As a mental health counselor, I've often worked with depressed individuals. Regardless of whether the individual is a child, adolescent or adult, I often play a little word game with them to help me get a better understanding of their depression. The word game goes something like this... "I'm going to ask you a few very simple questions and then I'm going to ask you a difficult question. OK?" The person often responds in the affirmative.

If you want the nightmare to end, there is a rule of thumb which requires courage and determination to implement: Involve the courts whenever possible. In many countries, the first step is to obtain a restraining order from a civil court as part of your divorce or custody proceedings or as a ...