Relationship Advice Articles

We all want to be respected by others. And, we would all love to have control over whether or not others treat us respectfully. Is this realistic? Nigel, one of my clients, has a lot of confusion about this issue. He believes that people, especially his wife and children, "should" be respectful to him, and he gets very angry when they treat him disrespectfully - which they often do. What Nigel has failed to understand - which is what led him to seek my help - is that others are often a mirror of how we treat ourselves.

Lindsay called me for counseling because her boyfriend of 18 months had just ended their relationship. Lindsay, 28, had been sure that Jake was "Mr. Right." "I am so heartbroken," sobbed Lindsay. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this. It feels like my heart is breaking apart. I love Jake so much and I thought he loved me too. I don't get how this could have happened, or why it happened. I feel like I can't live without him." "Tell me about your relationship with Jake."

CULTIVATING SEXUAL ENERGY Some questions I get are “how is sexual energy different than the rest of the energy of the body”. It isn’t different, it’s just how you channel and direct your energy as a whole. We need to first understand energy to understand how it moves and flows through the different areas of the body. Energy is in a continual flow throughout our body. The electrons have their own vibratory movements and rhythms. Our physical body learns to find its own rhythm and adjust to it.

Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. ________________________________________ Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. Here is one of the questions a woman – I will call her Susan - asked in a webinar on emotional dependency:

Jake was a party guy in college. He stayed up late, was the life of every social event he attended and was never without a date. In fact, Jake had a lot of dates and sexual partners during this wilder time in his life. Now, 5 years later, Jake has settled down a bit. He still lives life to the fullest, but he doesn't party the way that he used to-- and he's glad about that.

In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, "Conjoint Family Therapy." In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called "Parent Effectiveness Training." In the book he taught parents to "active listen," which ...

I have spent many years trying to discover the ONE thing - the one vital choice - that leads to healing and joy, or to suffering. Over 35 years ago I discovered an essential piece of the puzzle: that we each have only one to two intents at any given moment - to protect against pain and responsibility for it, or to open to learning from our pain and take responsibility for it. In other words - to learn from pain or to run from pain with our various addictions.

How do I know if and when it's time to break up? There's a lot of good in the guy I’m dating, but the bad is unacceptable. What do I do? I keep waiting for the guy I’m seeing to make the changes I need. How long do I wait? And what if he never changes? Chances are, at some point in your dating past or present one or more of the above questions has weighed heavily on your mind. The truth is, there’s no one size fits all answer to these questions. However, your gut knows what you want and need to do. It's up to you to tune in, listen, and honor what you know is right -- for you!

The following are signs of a controlling relationship: 1. Flattery – Flattery is different than a compliment – A compliment adds to a person. It builds within you a sense of confidence free from any ulterior motives. Flattery on the other hand is insincere and selfish in its motive – which is simply to gain a greater sense of control. Flattery always deals with comparisons. The flatterer will privately build you up in the process of tearing others around you down. 2.

Expressing yourself is not always easy. There can be many things that go wrong when you try to express yourself. Misunderstandings are perhaps the most destructive communication mishaps in relationships. So how do you solve it? No method is perfect, especially when you are dealing with someone else's perceptions, feelings, and desires. Expressing yourself is not always easy. There can be many things that go wrong when you try to express yourself. Misunderstandings are perhaps the most destructive communication mishaps in relationships. So how do you solve it?

"Why would my boyfriend cheat on me?" "I'm pretty sure my wife is cheating on me. I want to know why." "I know that my husband has been cheating on me for years. I don't get why he does this." Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do others have affairs that their partners know about? Here are some of the reasons for cheating that I have encountered in my many years of counseling.

"He is always blaming me for the bad things that happen in his life, and then he tells me it's my controlling him that is making him so angry. He yells at me and puts me down rather than deal with his own feelings. How can I get him to see that he is the one trying to control me? How can I ...

The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "confidence" as "a belief or self-assurance in your ability to succeed." We all know people who appear to be very confident professionally, yet when it comes to personal relationships, appear to be very insecure. Personal confidence is totally different than professional confidence in that personal confidence is about who you are and professional confidence is about what you do. Personal Confidence

Any idiot can ramble on about in conversation and bore the bejesus out of their companions, and it is a legitimate fear for many that this embarrassing turn of events may happen to them at some point. We've all been there, stuck in conversation, trying to dig out of it by throwing everything we can think of out there. The best advice, however, is to simply find an interesting way to broach everyday questions. Here are 11 such questions. 1. Tell me about the most interesting

For many men (and women) it seems the word, relationship has become a “bad” word. Remember when you were in grade school, worried about getting caught using one of George Carlin’s “7 Words You Can Never Say on Television?” These words were loaded. You discussed them with your friends. You questioned their meaning. You practiced saying them, hoping you wouldn’t get caught, or that you had enough zeal, zest behind each one so that the syllables would roll off your tongue easily. Flawlessly. And in this same way, I hear women questioning the use of the “r” word.

There are four causes why women dump men. With as little as one of these things in the relationship, the woman will eventually leave the man. We will go over the four occasions so as you can see if your own relationship may need some improvement. The first basis is control, which can come from either the man or woman. When a man or woman is controlling, they will drive their partner away from them, even if the relationship is otherwise excellent. Women specifically like being

"I know what's coming when Robert says that we need to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session. "He wants to tell me everything that is wrong with me. It's not about talking - it's about wanting to have control over me. Last time he did this it was all about how I spend ...

Each of us experiences some kind of loss in this lifetime. People come and go from our lives, whether by choice or circumstance. How we cope with these events affects how we move forward, how we see the world, and how we feel about our lives. I’m not the only person to have been through a divorce. When my first marriage ended after 17 years, I thought I handled it well. It was an amicable parting, and we maintained a friendly relationship. But then a few years later my sister’s husband died unexpectedly.

This is what the dictionary says about what we mean by Humility: humility |(h)yo??milit?| noun a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness. But is this really enough to grasp the whole importance humility plays, or does NOT play in our lives? Is being humble a positive or negative trait? Humble (v.) and humiliate (v.) sound similar, but humiliate emphasizes shame and the loss of self-respect and usually takes place in public, while humble is a milder term implying a lowering of one's pride or rank. So, why and how is this important in a relationship?

It’s confusing, isn’t it? One moment you think you’ve found your soul mate, the next moment he’s stopped calling. You rack your brain for any clue that would explain his behavior. Nothing. Zero. You got along well, he worshipped the ground you walked on. He was smitten by you as much as you were by him. Or so you thought. Should you end the relationship now, while you can still crawl out of the black hole called love? After all, he’s not the only fish in the sea. Or

1. Safe relationships involve suspending judgment – I can’t begin to recount the times I’ve jumped to conclusions regarding my judgment of someone’s motives. Even though “what” someone has done is clear, “why” they did it is rarely as obvious. It takes time and patience to discover what is in someone’s heart and what motive was behind their behavior. 2. Safe relationships involve celebrating differences - The difference between you and others is a reason for celebration.

Self-responsibility both reflects and generates self-esteem. People with high self-esteem feel that they are in charge of their lives. They have a sense of agency and self-efficacy. They take responsibility for their feelings, actions, and lives. It also means that you take responsibility for the consequences of your choices and behaviors, both positive and negative outcomes, rather than blame yourself or others. It requires a desire to review and learn from your mistakes in order to seek solutions and improvement.r

In my many years alive and in business, I have used many methods, tools and systems in order to accomplish my goals, carry out my plans each year AND Be Successful at the Process AND the Results! I have found there are 5 VERY IMPORTANT STEPS I Must Consistently Take in order to make things happen in my life. I have used all of these with much success! And so can You! This is what I do... First I have to think of what I want and second I need to get a vision of it; I have to be able to visually see it, taste it, smell it, hear it.

Codependency is often thought of as a relationship problem and considered by many to be a disease. In the past, it was applied to relationships with alcoholics and drug addicts.

There’s nothing wrong with preventative medicine…. especially when it comes to relationships. Sometimes, all it takes to save yourself from the pain of a difficult breakup is a little bit of knowledge and preparation. Interestingly enough, the warning signs of an impending breakup will be there long before your partner actively attempts to end the relationship. If you know which signs to look for, you can give yourself plenty of time to address (and neutralize) your relat

Here is a business that has remarkable profit potential with only a part time effort. Requiring no start up costs, you will find everything you need in this article to start, maintain, and make a success of this business. Read on! THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF A FUNNY PAGES NEWSPAPER BUSINESS You make money by selling ads in a 4 to 8 page funny or comic newspaper that you provide to local businesses such as restaurants, coffee shops, hair salons, and so forth.

Have you been told, “Just let go of it,” or tell yourself, “I have to let go,” but wonder, how? I’ve asked myself that question. Sometimes you want to let go of a worry or an obsession about someone else. You may try to detach, but can't. Other times when you can’t move forward after a major loss, or when you need to unwind from a busy work schedule. Each case has different challenges, but fundamentally, they all require a shift in attention from the mind into the body and from the past or future into the present.

Few things in a relationship are as difficult as apologizing to your girlfriend. Have you grown tired of the bickering and shouting, the arguing, punctuated by long periods of the silent treatment? What happened? If you'd like to get your relationship back on an even keel, you're going to have to apologize to her, regardless of why she's upset. Keep in mind, though, that your apology can repair your relationship or destroy it altogether. Following these five steps should help

There are many books, dvds, articles, lectures, courses and more about the Law of Attraction. You can learn how to use the Law of Attraction (LOA) to create more wealth, better health, a new car, a great job and, yes, a passionate love relationship or marriage. But here's the big question... Once you are in a love relationship or marriage, can you also use the Law of Attraction to get rid of all of those irritations, annoyances and harmful habits that drive you further and further apart from your love? Our answer, unfortunately, is “No.”

Love can’t exist without boundaries, even with your children. It’s easy to understand exte al boundaries as your bottom line. Think of rules and principles you live by when you say what you will or won’t do or allow. If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it’s your responsibility to speak-up. Boundaries also are also internal, discussed below. There are several areas where boundaries apply:r

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable, you know the pain of not being able to get close to the one you love. They’re evasive, make excuses, or just inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationship. Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance. You end up feeling alone, depressed, unimportant, or rejected. Usually women complain about emotionally unavailable men. Yet many women aren’t aware they’re emotionally unavailable, too. When you get hooked on someone else who is (think Carrie Bradshaw and Mr.

There’s no denying it. Breaking up is oh-so hard to do, especially in today’s 24-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty calls arranged via sexting. Before you get down in the dumps about getting dumped (or even if you did the dumping), the following five tips will help kick start your recovery. Before you know it, you’ll not only be surviving but thriving! Tip #1: EXtract Your Ex from Your Lifer Immediately following the split, cut your ex out of your life. That means no cyber stalking him on his Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter page, no 3 a.m.

How many of you are confronted with a situation that the guy you are dating and attracted to is not really ready to move your relationship to the next level? Or that he hasn't taken down his profile from the dating site yet after a few months seeing each other? It feels scary for you now that you feel hormonally hooked on him.

If the three qualities I am going to describe in this article are not true in your life and in the life of the person you want to be with, your love life is doomed. I guarantee it. Am I exaggerating just to get your attention? No, I most definitely am not.

Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of

Dealing with jealousy in a relationship can be an incredibly challenging endeavor because jealousy is among the ugliest of emotions, and can cause the worst of behaviors in people. Your best bet is always to recognize jealousy early in a new relationship, and then immediately address that behavior with the person. And if the jealous person cannot control the issues that usually reside only inside their own head, then it is often better to simply leave them behind, and find a

Men and women think differently - I don’t think anyone will argue that point with me at all! In my work as a therapist, I see males and females totally disillusioned with the selection of mates of the opposite sex to choose from. I think that the problem is largely due to a misunderstanding of how males and females differ on the biological level, and how that difference affects everything from communication style to thought processes, and perceptions of reality. But what influences that thinking and what “biological reality” differences do males and females really have?

For some reason, many couples find that much of the intrigue and interest in their relationship dwindled after marriage. One reason may be that the effort of pursuit and being pursued as evidenced by dating is no longer a part of the couples’ lives. Dating, at least once a week, will renew the excitement and interest in a marriage. WHY DATING IS IMPORTANT FOR THE MARRIED COUPLE Before marriage, dating was about pursuing and being pursued. Typically, a man pursued a woman by wooing her and by treating her well within the context of the date.

Most of us know that expressing heartfelt gratitude is a powerful way to raise our frequency and connect with our spiritual Guidance. Yet many people rarely or never express gratitude, and when they do, it is more rote than truly heartfelt. In a phone session with Deb, one of my clients, we were talking about this very issue. She was telling me how much trouble she has ever feeling gratitude.

You see that you screwed up. Now you're gonna lose the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you. What were you thinking? Now that you've come to your senses and are thinking right, your biggest worry is always that you don't blow it. It's possible you have only one opportunity at getting your ex-spouse, ex-boyfriend, or ex-girlfriend back. What you do next may very well be most important and vital thing you have ever done. You went by one tipping point and didn't notice

The Disappearing Loverr By DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine ? http://www.happenmag.com/magazine/index.aspx?lid=396 Dear Dr. Gilda, I am 36, a professionally successful divorced woman who has a lot of affection for my boyfriend. But I don’t even know if we have a relationship; he disappears from time to time. He is gone for weeks and then he comes back saying he thought about things and I am the best one for him. I don’t think he is seeing other women, though I can never be sure.

Depression is increasingly on the rise in our society. Its diagnosis has exploded over the last twenty years, and as a result, the medical field has responded with pill after pill. But depression isn't a disease. It can't be transmitted from person to person like the flu. So why is depression on the rise?

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm looking at myself and asking the question, "Why this compulsion to cheat?" What will it take to keep my eye from wandering around? I'm divorced, technically, but trying to make amends with the ex. I love my kids, and an absentee father just doesn't fit my taste. I'd rather be there. I won't bore you with it. But everyone thinks I'm insane back with the ex. Why do men cheat?

For you men who ask, "What Do Women Want?" Here are Dr. Romance's 11 Things Married Women Want: Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man:

Dear Dr. Romance:

Demanding children – children who have entitlement issues – seem to be common these days. Like the obnoxious child, Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, who was constantly demanding that her father get her whatever she wanted (“I want an Umpa Lumpa! Get it for me NOW!”), we hear ...

When communicating with children it is important to keep your goals in mind. The younger the child, the more difficult it is to reason with a child. A very young child won't be able to give you the reasoning for his actions. "Why did you hit your brother?" you demand. "Because I hit him?" your child may reply. As your child grows older, his reason and reasoning skills begin to develop. You can converse with a twelve year old in a manner impossible five years previous. So what are goals in parenting? 1.

Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict (which includes an alcoholic), gambler, or compulsive shopper. Enablers suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior rather than the addict.

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before - listen up. Men aren't as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he's been with before you. The thing is that you don't have to be the best in the world, you just have to better than other women he comes across with.