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Self-Esteem and Self Confidence

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***It’s Not Your Parents’ Fault

One of the most common questions we get from people who use our free belief-elimination site is, “I don’t think I got my beliefs from my parents. Can’t negative self-esteem beliefs be formed from interactions with siblings or later in life from teachers or peers?”

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Article
Appreciation: Can Suffering Lead to Greater Appreciation Of Life?

It is often said that it is human nature to only appreciate something when it is not longer available. So when one has something in their life, it is easy for them to take it for granted. Not only can this apply to ‘things’, it can also apply to the people who are in one’s life. In the beginning when one first receives something or when they first come into contact with someone, they are going to feel different to how they will feel as time passes. This is because one is experiencing something new and so this means that one’s mind is going to be engaged. Gratitude

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Article
Relationships: What Is A Relationship Triangle?

When it comes to a relationship there are typically two people involved. And what goes on in this relationship is primarily between these two individuals. This could be between: lovers, friends, colleagues or family. And this relationship it is almost certain to lead to moments or stories being shared and expressed to other people. This is a natural part of the human experience; what is shared could be to do with the good times that have been experienced and even the challenges that have been faced together. The Good Times

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Article
The Main Reasons we Fear Ageing

It seems that at least 42% of people fear ageing. That's nearly half of our population in the UK. Yet, like death, age is an inevitable part of our existence. We cannot NOT age just as we have to die. So the only way to treat those two elements of our existence is to accept them as willingly, happily and joyously as we do life because ALL THREE come as a package. We cannot have any one without the other. The minute we accept life, we accept ageing and death.

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Article
Irrational Feelings: Do You Have Irrational Feelings?

Just because one feels a certain way, it doesn’t mean these feelings reflect what is currently taking place in their life. One can then come to the conclusion that their feelings are irrational. This could be something that one experience from time to time or it might be a regular occurrence. If it happens on the odd occasion, it might be something that one can handle but if it happens all the time, it is likely to cause them problems. The Defining Factor

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Article
Freedom Or Safety: What Would You Choose?

After recent experiences and awareness’s in my life and also from what is happening it the public domain, I felt it was right to talk about my views and understandings of these two incredibly important areas of life. The Dichotomy On one side we have a great need to feel safe and on the other side we want to be free. However, as our need to be safe is so strong, our freedom is often compromised in the process. And it is easy to see which one of these usually takes precedence in our own life. Safety

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Article
Relationships: The Healing Power Of Relationships

Whether it is relationships with friends, acquaintances or spousal for example; they all have the potential for healing and consequently growth to occur. Opportunities are presented for one to integrate and process those parts that lay dormant; that are waiting to be realised. We are also given the chance to heal or let go of those parts that are negative or dysfunctional. Happiness, Suffering And Pain This also means that relationships have the power to create not only incredible happiness; but also unbelievable amounts of suffering and pain. Relationships

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Article
People Pleasing: Does Low Self-Esteem Cause People To Please Others?

On one hand, one can pay attention to their own needs and do what they can to fulfilling them, and on the other hand, they can focus on others people’s needs and do what they can to fulfil them. If their life is a reflection of the former, it is likely to be far more fulfilling than if their life was a reflection of the latter. However, just because one focuses on their own needs, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t be there for others. Whereas when one is focused on other people’s needs, they are likely to neglect their own needs. Out of Balance

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Article
***Become a Confident Learner!

Many adults are going back to school or seeking active learning experiences. With our changing economy and culture, many adults who thought they were done with “school” are finding themselves back in the classroom. For some it’s a new adventure, for others their worst nightmare. Why are so many of us afraid to learn something new? Why do we feel it will be “hard” to change?

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Article
Relationships: Do Some Men’s Childhood's Set Them Up To Develop A Saviour Complex?

While there are some men who offer their assistance when it is needed, there are others who have a different approach. Here, it is not going to be enough for a man to offer their hand from time to time, they will need to take things further. An Identity A man can believe that it is not only down to them to save others; they can also believe that it is up to them to save the world. As a result of this, their whole life is likely to revolve around being there for others in one way or another.

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Article
Offended: Is Being Offended A Choice?

If one was to think about the kinds of experiences that they have had so far this year, they may find that there have been a number of moments that have had a negative effect on their life. This could relate to what has taken place in the real world, as well as what has occurred online. And while one may remember moments where things have happened to them directly; they may also get in touch with things that didn’t. When it comes to the former, it could mean that someone did something to them; whereas when it comes to the latter, it could mean someone did something to another person.

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Article
By Dion Daly
How to Attain Genuine Confidence

You may find it surprising to know that there is more than one form of confidence. Some mannerisms that can seem to be a sign of confidence in a person are in fact not confidence at all. The thing is what is genuine confidence? Well, genuine confidence is a natural deportment or magnetic energy that is generated by certain individuals. Fake confidence on the other hand can be observed on an every day basis in the form of boasting and attention seeking conduct. The signs of so

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Article
Astrology: Why Do Some People Judge Others Based On Their Star Sign?

There are lots of ways for people to define themselves and to give their life meaning. And one of the ways that this can be done is for someone to get into astrology. In the western world, this will often involve someone finding out about their star sign and then seeing how they match up with it. There is going to be the chance that one finds that their sign matches them perfectly. For others, it could be something that partly reflects who they are. And on the other side of the spectrum, it could be something has no relevance to who they are.

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Article
Stubborn: Is It Good Or Bad To Be Stubborn?

If one was to think about a quality that is generally seen in a negative light, the word ‘stubborn may come to mind. This could be a word that one uses on a regular basis and/or it could be something they are used to hearing from other people. There is also the chance that this is not only a word that one regularly uses to describe others, it could also be a word that other people regularly use to describe them. In this case, the perception one has of other people matches up with the perception other people have of them. Projection

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Article
By Andy Kay
We don't "deserve" anything

Many coaches and self-development whizzes will talk about living the life you “deserve”, and how you somehow “deserve” certain things. But... You don’t deserve anything. Because nobody does. And already, I have a good idea what most of you are thinking: “But I’ve been miserable for so many years! I deserve to be happy!” “I’ve worked so hard! I deserve money!” “I’ve never slept with a girl! I deserve sex!” No. You don’t deserve anything, and hereâ

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Article
Consequences Of Poor Self Confidence

Do you often find yourself doing a monologue of how unattractive, stupid and useless you are? If yes, then it is likely that you are one of the many people who need a little help with their self confidence levels. It is normal for us to occasionally feel a little disappointed and discontented with ourselves but if your natural description of yourself contains mostly of negative adjectives, then this implies an unhealthy level of self confidence.

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Article
By DailyOM
The Fear of Appearing Dumb: Intelligence Speaks for Itself

The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women

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Article
Emotional Intelligence: The Importance Of Processing Our Emotions

I have recently had an interesting experience. And upon close reflection, I believe this experience has explained how important it is to process our emotions and to limit their accumulation. I believe it also explains at a deeper level, what is meant by; we are not just the observers of our reality and that if we experience or our exposed to something, then it is always a mirror of what is going on for us at some level. It shows the power we have on our environment and the connection between the inner and outer world.

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Article
Self Realisation: Why Do Some People Always Look Outside For Answers?

We live in a time that is often described as the information age. And this is largely due to the internet and how this has made information so easy to access. What was only available to a certain class of people or what could only be known trough travelling to certain parts of the world for instance, can now be learnt through going to a search engine. And within seconds, one will be able to find answers to almost any question under the sun. The need to read a whole book to find something is no longer needed; as one can just type in a question and the answer will be found.

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Article
*** How to Create New Possibilities in Your Life

Some people are convinced we create our own reality by focusing on what we desire with strong emotion. Others are just as convinced that that idea is New Age nonsense. But regardless of which position is valid, it is unquestionably true that we literally create new possibilities in our lives—a brand new reality—by eliminating limiting beliefs. Let me give you an example. Assume you had the beliefs: I’m not loveable. Relationships don’t work.

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Article
Relationships: What Causes Enmeshed Relationships?

While human beings are physically separate, it doesn’t mean that they are emotionally or intellectually separate. And as connecting to another human being involves opening up and allowing another person to open up, there are going to be moments where one merges with another. This is not only normal, is a vital part of feeling connected to another human being. This can be the result of a shared emotional experience, as a well as an intellectual experience.

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Article
The Perfectionist Inner Critic

The Perfectionist is one form of the Inner Critic. It is a part of you that tries to get you to do things perfectly. It has very high standards for your behavior and especially for products you create or performances you make. This often comes up around written reports. Often the Perfectionist says that something you have produced isn’t good enough and must be improved before anyone sees it. You feel anxious or agitated when you might consider turning it a project.

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Depression: Can Repressed Anger Cause Depression?

One of the most common mental and emotional challenges that someone can face in today’s world is depression. This is likely to be something that most people experience at one point or another. There are then going to be others who don’t experience it from time to time, they experience it on a regular basis. It could be that this has come to be a way of life for them and it is then normal. Normal

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Article
Emotionally Dependent: Why Are Some People Emotionally Dependent?

As human beings, we are interdependent and although someone people can come to the conclusion that they are independent, this is just an illusion. They may well be able to support themselves financially, but they are still reliant on other people paying them money. This is clearly different to one person being dependent on other people for money. In this instance, it is a one way process and one is not giving anything in return. When one is being paid for what they give, a mutual exchange is taking place.

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Article
Feelings: Why Do Some People Believe That Their Feelings Are Not Important?

Part of being human means that one has feelings and these are an important part of who they are. And when one is in tune with how they feel, their life is going to be radically different to how it would be if they were unaware of how they felt. Ones feelings not only connect them to themselves, they also allow them to feel connected to other people. Having the ability to feel can be the difference between living a life of connection and fulfilment or a life of being disconnected and unfulfilled.

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Article
Making Wise Decisions

Have you ever felt apprehensive about making an important decision which could affect the rest of your life? Does making even minor decisions can send you into a state of anxiety when you begin thinking of all the options and things that could go wrong? Making wise decisions can be tough!

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Article
Relationships: Why Are Some Women Needy?

To have needs is part of being human and this means that it is not something to be ashamed of. Yet, just because this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one feels comfortable with their needs, and this can cause them to come across as being needless. They then act as if they don’t have needs and this is going to mean that they are going against their true nature. The ideal will be for one to feel comfortable with their needs and this will allow them to get them met.

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Article
Your Self Esteem: How Loud Is Your Inner Voice?

I have a question for you. I want you to be completely honest with me. If I were to ask you how you feel about yourself, how would you respond? Would you be the person that loves their life and lives it to the fullest? Would you be the person that feels you are a wonderful person but you need a little improvement in some areas? Would you be the person that cannot stand the hand that life has dealt you? This voice or dictator of your life is what is called your self-esteem. Th

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Article
Looking Good: Why Are Some People Obsessed With Looking Good?

One doesn’t have to look very far to see how obsessed people have become with looking good in the western world. And this is not limited to one gender; both men and women are involved in this. For a woman it could relate to: the kinds of clothes they wear, make-up, body shape, hair style, skin tone and numerous other things. In recent years, the general definition of what it means to look good for a man has also changed. It can often be hard to differentiate between the two sexes when it comes to these requirements.

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Article
Self Abuse: What Is Self Abuse?

Abuse is usually something that starts of as exte al in nature. This means that one is abused through the people around them and this could be limited to one environment or it could happen in a number of environments. The type of abuse that I am talking about here is the abuse that goes in one’s mind. However, due to the nature of this kind of abuse, it is often hard to notice that it is taking place.

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Article
Emotional Needs: Can Another Person Fulfil Our Emotional Needs?

When one looks for a relationship, there are emotional needs that one is looking for another person to fulfil within them. These needs can be conscious and known, and they can be unconscious and unknown. And some of these needs will be possible for another person to fulfil and meet and some of these needs will not be. Emotional Needs The needs that I am talking about include: validation, acceptance, attention and approval. On the surface these needs can appear to be healthy and functional.

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Article
Deserving: Why Don't We Get What We Deserve?

This is an area that can not only create frustration, anger and confusion; it can also make one feel powerless and a victim of circumstance. So here I am going to explain my current understanding, as to why we don’t always get what we think we deserve and can end up with something completely different. Our level self worth or deserving, can apply to relationships, career, emotions, health and money. So with the description done, lets begin to look through what I believe determines what we attract into our life. Early Years

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Article
Help: Why Do Some People Have Trouble Asking For Help?

It is often said that no one is their own island and each one of us in interdependent. This not only applies to people; it also includes the earth that one lives on, the air they breathe and the sun that creates light and gives off energy for instance. There is always going to be people who are more self sufficient than others and people who live in the country can usually relate to this more than people who live in a city. But no matter where someone lives, they are going to depend on certain things.

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Article
Defence Mechanism: Projection

Most of us have heard of the term projection, but what is our subjective meaning when we think about it?. It could be argued that our whole experience of reality is a projection and that all of the Ego defence mechanisms are a projection, but for now I will remain in this context. I believe the only person who can really realise or come to an understanding of this, is oneself, once one move's beyond a mere intellectual understanding and into a visceral knowing.

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Article
Power: How Do We Give Our Power Away?

For each one of us power can mean something different. It can have both positive and negative connotations. On the positive side, there is the power to have an effect on one’s life and on the negative side it can mean being controlled. The meaning of power here is; the ability to have an influence over one’s life and to have the power of choice.

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Article
Control Freaks: Why Are Some People Control Freaks?

When it comes to describing someone who has the need to have complete control over every part of their life, the term control freak is often used. To experience a certain amount of control is not enough, the only thing that will do is having complete control of everything. And while control can be seen as ‘negative’, it is something that each and every one of us needs. If one had no control over their body for instance, life would be a real challenge.

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Article
Boundaries: Why Do Some People Feel Boundaryless?

If it was raining and one didn’t wear jacket or something to keep them dry, they would soon be soaked. Their jacket or an umbrella for instance, is then something that protects them from the rain. However, even if it was not raining one still needs to protect themselves. Their personal space is something that needs to be looked after, and this is not because everyone in the world wants to violate them, it’s because we’re all different.

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Article
Self-Esteem: Can Toxic Shame Cause Low Self-Esteem?

When one comes across something that grows into the ground and has a big trunk, there is only going to be one word to describe what it is – and that is a tree. And the same can be said when it comes to describing other things on this planet. However, when it comes to how one sees themselves, many different descriptions exist and they all relate to the same thing. Some of these are: self-confidence, self-belief, self- esteem and self-worth.

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Article
Emotionally stuck: Does Society Keep People Emotionally Stuck?

For many years now it has been said that women grow up faster than men. And in some cases, they say that men are about ten years behind when it comes to emotional development. This is obviously not the case for all men, but there is often clear evidence to support this viewpoint. Now there are all kinds of reasons as to why this is and some will be seen as the truth and others will be seen as opinions. One reason can be due to some women openly expressing how they feel and not repressing their emotions

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Article
Greatness: Do Only Some People Have Greatness?

There are both general and specific ideas and opinions around what greatness is. And what will form these ideas and opinions will be influenced by the age that one lives in, the society they are raised in and what one values themselves. This can range from the current societal models, such as: footballers, musicians, writers and actors. In the media these are often held up as the ultimate forms of greatness. And when it comes down to day to day experiences, one might think of other examples of greatness. These could range from: firemen, doctors, therapists, teachers or nurses for example.r

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Article
Child Abuse: Why Are Some People Not Believed When They Talk About Being Abused?

When someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could relate to someone who one is close to and trusts. Their need to be heard and validated for what they have gone though doesn’t take place. Instead, one is made to believe that they are lying, exaggerating what happened and remembering things that didn’t take place, amongst other things.

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Article
Emotional Regulation: What Happens When Someone Can't Regulate Their Emotions?

In today’s world there are all kinds of challenges that people are having to face. And some of these are relatively easy to handle, while others can seem to be more or less impossible to solve. These can range from global, societal and personal problems. In a way, they can all affect each other, and at the same time one doesn’t always have to be affected by what others are doing in their society or the world at large.

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