The question of who is in charge of any person’s life would seem to have an obvious answer. If someone were to say to you, “Who is charge of your life?” you would likely answer with, “I am”! That is exactly the correct answer, and we will explore that in more detail. However, let’s first look at who is actually in charge of your life right now:

The list is endless, but for most people it will include any combination of the following: Your boss, your children, your spouse, your friends, or your social organizations. Breaking it down even further, some people would include their doctor, their coaches and mentors, their parents, even their mechanic or their neighbors!

The common reason why all of those people made the list is because they have some sort of influence over your life. Some have an extreme influence, while some only have a minor influence. The combined influence of all of those people adds up to the same thing – it seems that anyone but YOU is in charge of your life.

Our society has so completely ingrained in us that we are supposed to say and do all sorts of things that are expected of us, that even though we are the ones who are in charge, our circumstances actually become the creators of our lives, rather than just the details.

This has to stop.

Our world is full of unhappy people, even though many of us disguise it well. You can’t deny the fact that there are things about your life that you would change if you really thought that it was possible, or that you could get away with it. If that doesn’t describe you, then congratulations are in order. You have found Heaven on earth, and if you’re smart, you’ll find a way to sell it.

For everyone else, it’s time for a wake up call. YOU are the only person in charge of your life, and if you are not 100% happy with how things are going so far, then it’s time to make a change. Believe it or not, you have the power to start making those changes right now, regardless of your present circumstances.

The answer lies in the one thing that you have complete and utter control over - your state of mind. It is the most powerful weapon on the face of this planet, but here’s the catch – you have to know how to use it.

In a nutshell, you have to control the energy that you send out into the world that is created by the way that you feel. Please note – the word is feel, not think. Self-help and self-development dogma has been teaching us for years that we have to think our way to success. You could take those thoughts and give them even more power by writing them down on a piece of paper, and they still wouldn’t be worth the paper that they are written on. If you want to affect change in your life, you have to learn how to experience how it would actually feel to have the life that you want – not to just think about it. Thoughts are powerless unless they cause a positive emotional reaction that in turn attracts the resources that you need to accomplish your goals.

Here is a quick – and very common – example. Let’s say that you want to lose weight. You are 50 lbs overweight, and you are miserable. In an effort to effect positive change in your life, you think to yourself or say out loud, “I don’t want to be overweight anymore”.

Now ask yourself how saying that makes you feel. Here’s a hint: overweight, miserable, powerless, insecure. Nothing very positive, right?

Here is a better way to handle the same situation. You are still 50 lbs overweight, and you still don’t want to be overweight anymore. Only now, instead of reinforcing negative feelings like the ones mentioned above, we are going to create positive feelings instead.

Try this statement: “I feel great since I worked so hard and lost so much weight! Now that I have lost 50 lbs, I have dropped 6 clothing sizes, my self-esteem has gone through the roof, and my relationship with my partner has never been better!”

Let’s compare one more time, side by side: “I don’t want to be overweight anymore” vs. “I feel great since…”

Which one of those statements makes you feel weak and like a victim, and which one makes you feel powerful and in charge of your life and your destiny?

This is but one example of how you can effect positive change in your life by simply shifting the way that you feel. It is okay to start with the thoughts of what you want to accomplish, but it is only by visualizing and creating positive emotion that you can actually make it happen.

You can apply this same concept to any area of your life – in fact, EVERY area of your life!

Start controlling the way your life makes you feel, and you will start controlling your life. So once again, let’s ask the question, “Who is in charge here”?

Now you know the answer!

Author's Bio: 

Aaron Potts is an ex-personal trainer turned lifestyle coach who uses his training experience combined with an understanding of the Universal Law of Attraction to teach people to create positive and permanent changes in their lives. His students are people of all ages and all walks of life, and you can learn more about his teachings at, or you can contact him directly at