In middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way through a couple of easy songs. But after a few more weeks, I couldn't go further because I hadn't laid a foundation with scales and similar exercises - so I quit in frustration. To this day, I regret never learning to play a musical instrument.

I and others tend to skip over the fundamentals for a variety of reasons, including impatience, laziness, or a kind of arrogance that thinks we can sort of get away with not paying our dues. There's also the subtle impact of our media, which showcases celebrities who seem to spring out of thin air - though actually, it took years for them to become an overnight success.

But when we don't take care of the fundamentals, the foundation is shaky for whatever we've built: a relationship, a career, personal well-being, spiritual practice - or playing the clarinet. Perhaps we can get away with this for a while, but there's usually a background cost in uneasiness, waiting for a day of reckoning, perhaps with the sense of being an imposter. And eventually, when a real challenge comes, the building shakes and maybe topples.

On the other hand, when you handle the basics, the cornerstones, you feel like you're on solid ground. Even if things don't turn out perfectly, in your heart, you know you have the humility and conscientiousness to honor the prerequisites, the essential requirements, the bedrock of the matter.

The Practice.

First, know what is basic for you - since this will differ from person to person. Here are some potential "basics" for you to consider; they're just a start, and please add your own! Use the list that results to see if anything pops out to address:

  • Relationships - No actual or threatened violence; respect for personal autonomy; no crazy behavior; no meanness
  • Childrearing - Lots of love; real-time for the family; aspirational values (e.g., help out, be honest, do your job in school); reasonable parental authority
  • Job - Getting to work on time; fully competent with core skills; feeling alright with the people around you; having the resources to fulfill responsibilities
  • Physical health - Good sleep; veggies, protein, and vitamins; exercise; minimal intoxicants; take care of issues as early as you can
  • Mental health - On your own side; stepping back to observe your mind; calming down stress and upsets; take in the good of positive experiences; self-compassion; exercising restraint
  • Situations - Take a moment to consider one or more specific situations, such as an ongoing issue with someone in your life or at work or with your health, career, or finances. Open to listening to the "still small voice inside" that may tell you about a basic thing you could care for better; it may well be something you've known all along.

Now, the second step. Perhaps one or more things have come to mind after you've done the reflection above. Pick one this week and act upon it.

In your mind, getting back to something basic means: giving it your attention; acknowledging in your heart, your emotions, that it's important; committing honestly to it, and making a plan about it.

Out in the world, taking care of something basic means doing something differently. It could be as down-to-earth and modest as not watching TV past 10 p.m. so you can get to bed at a reasonable time, flossing your teeth each day, not interrupting your partner, or getting home from work by 6:00 for dinner with the kids.

Then, the third step: Open to appreciating the benefits to you and others of honoring and handling this fundamental thing, whatever it is. Let the felt sense of its rewards, its goodness, keep drawing you toward continuing to take good care of it.

When we take care of the basics, everything else usually takes care of itself.

Author's Bio: 

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His seven books have been published in 31 languages and include Making Great Relationships, Neurodharma, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Just One Thing, Buddha’s Brain, and Mother Nurture - with over a million copies in English alone. He's the founder of the Global Compassion Coalition and the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, as well as the co-host of the Being Well podcast - which has been downloaded over 10 million times. His free newsletters have 250,000 subscribers, and his online programs have scholarships available for those with financial needs. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard. An expert on positive neuroplasticity, his work has been featured on CBS, NPR, the BBC, and other major media. He began meditating in 1974 and has taught in meditation centers worldwide. He and his wife live in northern California and have two adult children. He loves the wilderness and taking a break from emails.