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- Try a Softer Tone - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2023 from Rick HansonLinguists like Deborah Tannen have pointed out that most communications have three elements: Explicit content – “There is no milk in the refrigerator.” Emotional subtext – Could be irritation, blame, accusation An implicit statement about the nature of the relationship – Could be one ...
Views: 1 - The Dynamics of Trust - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2023 from William CottringerThe Dynamics of Trust by Bill Cottringer “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway. Trust is an essential ingredient to successful resolution of the three main conflicts which we all must deal with in life: (a) us vs. life (b) us vs. ...
Views: 5 - See the Good in Others - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2023 from Rick HansonMany interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, or via email: we sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what's ...
Views: 7 - A Baker’s Dozen Classic Ah-Ha Moments - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2023 from William CottringerA Baker’s Dozen Classic Ah-Ha Moments By Bill Cottringer “We often get the thinking-feeling-behavior sequence mixed up. It is important to understand that it is behaviors and actions, not thinking, that result in our feelings, which in turn often prompt problem behaviors.” ~The author. ...
Views: 10 - Ask Questions - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2023 from Rick HansonMy dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking." Sure, we often gain by thinking aloud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings ...
Views: 8 - Stay Right When You're Wronged - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2023 from Rick HansonOthers will do whatever they do, and realistically, sometimes, it may not be that great. Many people disappoint: They’ve got a million things swirling around in their head, life’s been tough, there were issues in their childhood, their ethics are fuzzy, their thinking is clouded, their heart is ...
Views: 14 - Feel Cared About - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2023 from Rick HansonEveryone knows what it’s like to care about someone. Remember being with a friend, a mate, a pet: you feel warmly connected and want him or her not to suffer and to be happy. On the other hand, you’ve probably had the sense, at one time or another, of not being cared about. That you didn’t ...
Views: 19 - Speak From The Heart - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2022 from Rick HansonOne Christmas, I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado River. Think of water - so soft and gentle - gradually carving ...
Views: 17 - Tune Into Others - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2022 from Rick HansonImagine a world in which people interacted with each other like ants or fish. Imagine a day at work like this, or in your family, aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own. That's a world without ...
Views: 22 - Be Friendly - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2022 from Rick HansonFriendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive. Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ...
Views: 25 - The Wisdom of Insecurity - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2022 from William CottringerThe Wisdom of Insecurity by Bill Cottringer “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos. I wish I had originally come up with this simple but profound article title, but I have to give full credit to a ...
Views: 33 - Equine Therapy for Alcohol Addiction In Pune - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2022 from Calida RehabHorses are used for the Equine Therapy In Pune People participate in activities such as grooming, feeding, and leading horses under the supervision of a mental health expert. Equine therapy is one such mental therapy that’s getting popular lately. The therapy involves horses as a way to treat ...
Views: 32 - Have Compassion - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2022 from Rick HansonCompassion is essentially the wish that beings do not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern. You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), ...
Views: 33 - Recognize Suffering in Others - by Submitted on Nov 29, 2022 from Rick HansonWe’re usually aware of our own suffering, which – broadly defined – includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and ...
Views: 35 - See the Person Behind the Eyes - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2022 from Rick HansonMost of us wear a kind of mask, a persona that hides our deepest thoughts and feelings and presents a polished, controlled face to the world. To be sure, a persona is a good thing to have. For example, meetings at work, holidays with the in-laws, or a first date are usually not the best time to ...
Views: 29 - Tell the Truth, Play Fair - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2022 from Rick HansonPerhaps like you, I’ve been worrying lately about what it will take for all of us to live together in peace. I remember what I’ve heard many teachers say to their students: Tell the truth. Play fair. This is what we ask our own kids to do. It’s what we look for in a friend, a boss, and a ...
Views: 33 - "Us" all "Thems" - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2022 from Rick HansonBy “us” all “thems,” I mean finding common ground with every person – especially those you fear or are angry with or who are simply very different from you. These days this practice is more important than ever. For most of the past 300,000 years, our human ancestors lived in small bands of ...
Views: 32 - Learn as You Go - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2022 from Rick HansonI was recently asked about my top five inner practices for 2019, and here they are: Drop the stone Let it flow Learn as you go “Us” all “thems” Be amazed By “learn as you go,” I mean that each day is an opportunity to take in the good: to help useful or enjoyable experiences ...
Views: 45 - Let it flow - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2022 from Rick HansonI think there are five key things we can do inside ourselves to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving this year: Drop the stone Let it flow Learn as you go “Us” all “thems” Be Amazed My previous JOT explored the first of these: how to lay down the burdens of useless ...
Views: 48 - Repairing Virtual Communication failures - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2022 from William CottringerRepairing Virtual Communication failures By Bill Cottringer “In a world that is constantly changing, it is to our advantage to learn how to adapt and enjoy something better.” ~Kenneth H. Blanchard. Live, face-to-face (f2f) communication has always been difficult, unfortunately with ...
Views: 50 - Drop the Stone - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2022 from Rick HansonAs we begin a new year for many people, it’s natural to consider how to make it a good one. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our own minds . . . and take the benefits with us wherever we go. This year, what do you ...
Views: 38 - See The Big Picture - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2022 from Rick HansonI once went to the movies when it was raining and brought my umbrella. Arriving early, I sat down on a bench to read, then headed to the theater. Suddenly I heard, “Uh, mister!” – and turned to see a teenage boy with a friendly smile running toward me with my umbrella. He didn’t know me but went ...
Views: 49 - Stand Up to Bullies - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2022 from Rick HansonHumans are profoundly social. Woven through the tapestry of our relationships are several major threads. One of these is power. The only question is, do we use it for good or ill? The abuse of power can be called many things, including intimidation, fraud, discrimination, and tyranny. I’ll ...
Views: 48 - Love What Is Real - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2022 from Rick HansonBecause this practice could seem so abstract or so obvious that it’s not worth doing, I am going to take longer than usual to explain why it’s so important. As I grew up, my family and schools felt like shaky ground. I didn’t understand why my parents and many kids reacted the way they did, ...
Views: 60 - Enjoy The Good That Lasts - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2022 from Rick HansonSo many things change. Leaves fall, friends move away, and children leave home. My dad died a year ago, and my mom about ten years before that. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting older (darn, there is no fooling the mirror). The world changes, too. Evolving technologies alter jobs and ...
Views: 56 - Love Your Neighbor - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2022 from Rick HansonThis practice might sound extreme or pushy, and I want to tell you what I mean by it. Everyone has lots of neighbors, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Obviously, the people living across the street are neighbors, but in some sense, so are the people you live with. Friends, relatives, ...
Views: 60 - Beware of Anger - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2022 from Rick HansonAnger is tricky. On the one hand, anger – feeling annoyed, irritated, resentful, fed up, mad, outraged, or enraged – alerts us to real threats, real injuries, and real wrongs that need correcting, and it energizes and fuels us to do something about them. In my family growing up, my parents had ...
Views: 70 - Welcome Joy - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2022 from Rick HansonPositive emotions – such as feelings of gratitude, love, and confidence – strengthen the immune system, protect the heart against loss and trauma, build relationships, increase resilience, and promote success. Based on studies that have already been done, if a drug company could patent a ...
Views: 83 - Find Your Ground - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Rick HansonI've been to New Zealand, and really respect and like it. There's a Maori term - turangawaewae, "a place to stand" - that I've come back to many times. I'm sure I don't know the full meaning of the word in its cultural context. But at a basic level, it's clear that we all need a place to ...
Views: 83 - Love Someone - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Rick HansonSometimes something happens. Perhaps your sweet old cat takes a turn for the worse, or there’s a money problem, or your son waves goodbye as he gets on a plane to start college on the other side of the country. Sometimes it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election, and you’re ...
Views: 85 - Mother Wounds: Does A Man Re-experience The Issues That He Had With His Mother When He’s In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is currently in a relationship, he could be with a woman who is often cold, distant and dismissive of his feelings. As a result of this, he could often feel angry and even hateful and low, invisible and worthless. Now, this might not be the first time he has been with a woman like ...
Views: 143 - Take Heart - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2022 from Rick HansonIt takes heart to live in even ordinary times. By “taking heart,” I mean several related things: Sensing your heart and chest Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you ...
Views: 78 - A Mystic’s Midsummer Musings: “Once You Get a Taste for the Real Soul Food, Junk Food Loses Its Flavor” - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2022 from joan pancoeTo view all images and activate all links (recommended): https://joanpancoe.com/2022/07/26/a-mystics-midsummer-musings-once-you-get-a-taste-for-the-real-soul-food-junk-food-loses-its-flavor/ Let body needs dwindle and soul decisions increase. Diminish what you give your physical self. Your ...
Views: 144(1 vote) - Trust Yourself - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2022 from Rick HansonAs I grew up, at home and school, it felt dangerous to be myself - my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable. Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways ...
Views: 88 - The Truth About Sex, The Real Deal About Erectile Dysfunction - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2022 from Shubham SardaIntroduction: Sex is a hot topic these days, and that’s a shame. We all know there’s more to sex than just getting it on. In fact, sex is something that should be taken seriously, especially if you want to have healthy relationships. But what do we really know about sex? Is it good for us? Is it ...
Views: 127 - Be at Peace With the Pain of Others - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2022 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ...
Views: 90 - Be Amazed - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2022 from Rick HansonHere are my top five inner practices for helping this year be a good one for you and others (click the links to see the first four): Drop the stone Let it flow Learn as you go “Us” all “thems" Be amazed By “be amazed,” I mean staying open to a sense of freshness, wonder, ...
Views: 98 - Two Serious Problems We were Warned About in 1970 - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2022 from William CottringerTwo Serious Problems We were Warned About in 1970 By Bill Cottringer “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” ~George Bernard Shaw. Are you feeling overwhelmed about the information overload and insane pace of technology ...
Views: 100 - Be Mind Full of Good - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2022 from Rick HansonIt's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Neurons that fire together, wire together. ...
Views: 76 - Kindness to You is Kindness to Me; Kindness to Me is Kindness to You - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2022 from Rick HansonI usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it's something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain. Some years ago, I was invited to give a ...
Views: 92 - Grow a Key Inner Strength - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2022 from Rick HansonWe all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a ...
Views: 96 - How do I stop overthinking about past? - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2022 from Dada BhagwanInstead of living in the moment, we live for the most part in our minds, cluttered with thoughts. These thoughts are in fact part of our memories from the past. These memories are either pleasant or unpleasant, depending upon whether we had a like or dislike towards them when they ...
Views: 96(1 vote) - Eat Right - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2022 from Rick HansonThe easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition. Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly vegetables, fruits, nuts, and meat. Humans first started ...
Views: 92 - Turn Anger Into A Peaceful Heart - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2022 from Rick Hanson(Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 98 - Parent From the Same Page - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2022 from Rick Hanson(Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 91 - Refill Your Cupboard - by Submitted on May 30, 2022 from Rick Hanson[Note: This refill your cupboard is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex ...
Views: 100 - Stay Well - by Submitted on May 23, 2022 from Rick Hanson[Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 97 - Lower Your Stress - by Submitted on May 16, 2022 from Rick Hanson[Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture – a book written for mothers – focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ...
Views: 101 - Feel Whole - by Submitted on May 09, 2022 from Rick HansonWhen I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases, a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view are driven ...
Views: 117 - Love Freely - by Submitted on May 02, 2022 from Rick HansonIn my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves, and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ...
Views: 141