Dear Dr.Romance: Can you make your wife fall in love again?
Written by Tina B. Tessina
Dear Dr. Romance:
I would like to know if it's possible to make your wife fall in love with you again? She just recently announced to me that she wanted to go our separate ways. I am devastated we have 2 kids together and she told me that she just grew apart from me. I'm madly in love with her and don't want to get separated. What can i do?
Dear Reader,
I'm curious how a man who loves his wife so much could not notice you were growing apart. Apparently, you need to learn to listen to your wife more closely. Usually, women say they're unhappy in many ways before they reach the point of leaving. I hope it's not too late, and she hasn't formed an attachment to someone else.
Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner, and How to be Irresistible to Your Mate will help you communicate better. Ask your wife if she'll talk to you. Ask her if she'll go to counseling with you. If she will, spend your time listening carefully.
Don't focus on how much you love her. What you think is loving may not come across that way to her. Find out what you did wrong, or what you didn't do right, and don't argue with her. Apologize, and ask her if she is willing to start over. Then, make the necessary changes. Read Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely. You need a counselor to help you communicate with each other. Don't tell her why she shouldn't leave. Don't defend yourself, or explain yourself. Just listen. Got it? How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together can teach both of you better communication skills, which you need to build a happier and more satisfying relationship.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Article author
About the Author
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
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