I Am So Miserable In My Marriage: How To Overcome Loneliness In Marriage For Good

If you're unhappy in marriage, it's time to do something about it. You don't want to become another statistic. The good news for you is, you don't have to be.

Thousands of marriages are saved each year, and it usually just takes a few simple adjustments to how you relate to each other.

If you want to have a happy marriage again, here are six powerful techniques you can put to use today that will strengthen your relationship like you never imagined.

1. Commitment. This is critical, and you must both be completely committed to the relationship for it to succeed. Even if you know you're committed, you have to take responsibility for your spouse's commitment, as well.

Encourage commitment in your spouse, and you'll soon find it's becoming a reality.

2. Listen to each other. Always listen to your spouse. If you ignore your spouse, that's very damaging to your relationship.

No one likes to be ignored. It makes us feel devalued and resentful. Your relationship will be much stronger if you listen to each other.

3. Don't beg for what you want. Begging is unattractive, and will push your spouse farther away.

4. Talk openly. You've both got to let each other know how you're feeling, and why. Your spouse is not a mind reader, after all, and neither are you. However, you've got to talk to each other maturely, calmly, and respectfully at all times.

5. Look for solutions. Be on the lookout for ways you can make things work for both of you. Compromise on issues in your relationship, and don't make a major battle out of every disagreement.

Not everything is worth fighting about.

6. Do more things together. A big problem between couples today is that they don't spend a lot of time together. You need to "be a couple" to be a couple.

Even if you just watch a little TV together each night, make sure you spend a little time together each day.

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Every marriage will have its problems. Relationships that end and those that survive can be separated by how you deal with your issues. It's common to make the big mistake of painting themselves the victim in every problems that happen between the couple. Always keep in mind that marriage conflicts are not one sided. There's a good chance that you have as much input in it as your spouse did.

Jane Winslow has been married for decades or so. "You won't believe how effortless it is to make yourself the victim. I've been there and I've done that. I had this mindset where I felt like I was the only one who suffer with the result of problems. I always felt that I was hurt, the one who was being taken for granted. I had never imagined that it was the other way round. I now know how wrong I became. And now I realized that a marriage is a matter of give and take."

To play victim is a type of mistake to do. There are a number of ways that this can manifest itself. It could be as common as feeling regretful for yourself. You may also feel like you are being attacked or targeted. This is really counter-productive because instead of working towards a solution, you will instead fixate on your feelings. You can make things a whole lot worse and it can lead to bigger problems just like having an unhappy marriage. It might also result in divorce, if you are not careful.

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You have to take yourself out of the victim lure. Your circumstance is of your own making. The option to either get out or stay is entirely yours. It definitely won't be good if you keep on pulling the 'poor me' card. In fact, it can make things more painful. It won't bring you closer to a solution. Let us say that you have a problem with a less than happy marriage, you must instead focus on spicing things up instead of going into a self pity mode.

You also have to be assertive. It is also vital that you know exactly what you would want from the relationship. Even when you have different goals, you need to make sure that you find something that works for both of you. Also, if you begin to see problem indications, work on them as soon as you can. You should never let it get to that point in which you have a loveless marriage.

Every single rule has its exception. If your partner hurts you actually, then you are the victim. You have to keep in mind that you are not powerless. You can always change the situation you are in. You must make things better for yourself. Find a solution to the troubles you are in and hope you find marital bliss.

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No relationship is perfect, if every relationship was perfect there would be no such thing as divorce. The reality of marriage is that happily ever after takes some work, from both parties involved. Common relationship problems that many couples experience are jealousy and its opposite, indifference. These two problems arise from lack of communication, and time spent with each other. There are ways to cope with these problems without letting them ruin your relationship, because letting these problems go unaddressed, can lead to the end of a relationship.

Some people are more prone to jealousy than others, but when the green eyed monster rears its ugly head, it is best to address it when it happens. Unjustified jealousy is an irrational reaction that some people have when they notice that their spouse is spending a lot of time with a certain person, or participating in a certain activity. It is best to talk about it, and find ways to solve this problem before it gets out of hand. Your jealousy or the jealousy of your partner can poison your relationship if you do not take steps to assure or compromise with your partner.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Another big issue that causes marriages to dissolve is indifference. This is especially true for people who have been married more than five years. Couples tend to get into a routine, and go about their daily lives with each other in a perfunctory capacity. They start to find that they don't really care if their partner stays out all night with friends, or spending time with people that could tempt them into cheating. The lack of emotion that sometimes occurs in couples married for more than five years, can be remedied by always making an effort where your partner is concerned. This means setting aside time to spend with them, and doing things to let them know that you care, and you are happy to still be with the person you married all those years ago.

Jealousy and Indifference are two common relationship problems that need to be addressed before they are blown out of proportion. It is as easy as setting aside time for your partner every day or every week just to talk. Even taking a vacation together without the kids, is a great way to catch up with each other and rediscover the person you have pledged your life to. You just always have to remember that they never told you what happened to Cinderella after she was married to the prince for five years, and the answer was they probably had to take a romantic vacation or a night out away from the castle to enjoy each other.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

As an expert relationship coach, I am frequently approached by women who have had enough of marriage advice that has not helped them save their marriages, and instead has placed them in a bigger muddle than they started out with.

By and large, these are the elements or kinds of people that you ought to steer clear from, so you can gain a breath of fresh air and a clearer perspective on your marriage and what it takes to make it work.

1) Friends in unhappy marriages. The words used to describe your friend's marriage are the biggest indication of how much advice you should take and filter from her. If she is a complainer, then the chances of her taking responsibility for her actions are very slim. Also, if her husband is obviously unhappy or stressed, it is safe to say that mirroring your friend's actions will give you only similar results and nothing more. It is only when you aim higher for yourself and your relationship, will you be able to fix it.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

2) Inexperienced, yet enthusiastic "counselors". There is one in every social setting: the person who loves to give advice on how life, love and marriage should be without a clue about how to go about achieving those kind of goals. To offer a generalization for different situations does not provide solutions, nor does it move a person towards a resolution on how to do things differently. These are the people who will present you with lots of fancy words and ways to describe your situation, all the time discouraging you subconsciously from even wanting to improve your state.

3) Relationship self help books. Self help books are very helpful as long as you have the wisdom to know when to put it down and physically create some waves to save your marriage. The only danger of self help books is getting so much into the depth of words on paper that you are unable to execute definite action points as a result. There are some who eventually start to blame external factors for problems in their marriages because they conveniently took themselves out of the equation when reading these kinds of books.

If reading a book on relationships and marriage will move you to action, then you should consider it. If it makes you slouch deeper into the couch as you brood, then toss it away immediately.

As necessary as it is to cover what helps in fixing a broken relationship, it is just as imperative to be aware of the elements that do not work.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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