I Don't Like To Be Touched Sexually By My Husband: Kissing My Husband Grosses Me Out

If you have been in any relationship for a long period of time then you know that there are sometimes challenges involved with staying in love with your spouse. You are try falling in love with your husband again but it can sometimes be difficult with all the outside forces like careers, kids, and of course the in laws. It is very important that you can define what love is. Don't make the mistake of feeling the comfort in a long term relationship and a lack of love and feeling like you are in a rut. Your love should evolve over time as the relationship does. As people age their needs and definition of love will also change, and it is easy to think that you don't still love your husband if you don't understand that.

To start falling in love with your husband again do these and you will see the man that you fell in love with:

1. Take care of yourself. Try to become the woman you were when you first got married. But don't do it just for him, do it for yourself. When you feel good about your self other aspects of your life will also fall into place. Do this and feeling happy with yourself and get a more positive outlook on life. Once your husband notices the change, he will respond to you better and remind you of the way you used to feel about him.

2. Talk to your husband. Have a deep conversation of how you want your relationship to be the way it was in the beginning. Even though you both have changed and things won't be exactly like they were, you can still have a better marriage. No matter who you are there is always room for improvement.

3. Work with your husband to face and fix the issues with your marriage that more than likely led to most of the pent up anger and resentment. Fixing as much as possible is a very good way to make your husband seem more attractive to you.

Sometimes you try falling in love with your husband again and find out that your love was never lost it was just hidden under all your other emotions.

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Of course, if you have already been married for a while, you might be feeling like you are losing the spark or that you could be doing more to show your spouse that you love them. Here are some ideas for those that have already been married for a while and want to remind their spouse how much they love them.

1) Keep a gratitude journal: Write down all of the things that you love about your spouse every day for a month or so. When you have gotten to the end of the month, write, 'Will you marry me, again?' on the last page and wrap up the journal to give to your spouse.

2) Create a photo slide show of your marriage: With digital pictures and simple programs, you can even set your life to music.

3) Take a picture of the two of you at your wedding and one more recent picture and place them into a picture frame with two frames. Wrap this up and present it to your spouse as a reminder of where you began and where you are now. If you can find a frame with another place for a picture, write the words, 'Here's to more of us.'

4) Recreate your wedding day on a smaller scale: By inviting old wedding guests and getting the same cake as you had on your special day, have a renewal of vows for you and your spouse. If you can find the original minister, all the better. If your spouse does not mind being surprised, try to keep it a surprise.

Every day, you can celebrate the wedding and the memories that brought you together.

a) Tell your own versions of how you met

b) Talk about the first time that you told each other, "I love you."

c) Share your love stories with your family

Here's a useful quote for you!

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." ~ Henry Louis Mencken

While you do not need a special occasion to tell your spouse or love partner that you love them, it never hurts to make sure they know when something fantastic happens.

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We all have a way of doing things that for us feels right. Often we can't understand why anyone would consider doing things differently. We can easily build a case as to why our way is the "right" way. As well, doing things any other way can feel uncomfortable. It can even make us feel a bit insecure.

We all know there are many, many "right" ways of doing things. When it comes to stepping back and allowing someone else to do something their way though, suddenly there's only one right way and it's our way. Does that sound familiar? Often our immediate response is to tell the other person they're doing it wrong. We want to step in and do it our way, which makes much more sense to us. What happens in a marriage when we always insist on doing things our way?

If you're the person who is being told your way is "wrong" most of us take it personally and feel criticized or sometimes, ridiculed. If one of the ingredients of a strong, healthy marriage is to accept and love our partners for who they are, we definitely don't feel loved and accepted when we're continually told our way of doing things is wrong. The message we get is: "I'd love you more if you did things my way". That feeling builds and often moves on to resentment or makes us feel defensive. It can change the climate of the relationship, dramatically.

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When it came to the kids, I have to admit, I felt my way of doing things was the "right" way. After all I had the educational background around child development and as I'm a woman, I naturally knew more. That attitude just got us into trouble. I know my husband often felt he just couldn't do anything right. One day I woke up and decided to just let go of some of things I was complaining about. A voice in my head told me our relationship was far more important.

I'll give you an example of something I decided to let go of. My husband likes junk food and in my opinion he eats too much of it. When he took the kids out on his own, they would often come home with a very sugary drink or some kind of junk food, or they had again just been to McDonald's. It bothered me a lot because it wasn't aligned with how I felt we should all be eating. Why did I let go of something so important? As I was the one making all the meals, and providing the between meal snacks during the week while my husband was at work, I was confident that most of the time, our kids were eating very well and the food they ate on the weekends, in the long term wasn't going to hurt them. Our kids are now in their mid twenties and both have a very healthy diet. They both in fact seldom eat food that is bad for them.

I remember observing a couple with their young child once, in their home. The mom had very definite ideas around parenting and the dad's approach was quite different. I remember watching the dad playing with his three year old son on his knee. He was bouncing him around and his young son clearly loved every minute of it. The mom was angry because she thought her husband was being too rough and it just wasn't right, in her opinion. I pointed out that the interaction was healthy and fun and completely appropriate. It helped to bond the two of them. I later learned that virtually everything the dad did with their son prompted a disapproving response from his wife. This was having a profound effect on their crumbling marriage. I coached her around letting go of wanting control all the time. Some things are worth standing firm on, but many are just not worth the risk to your marriage. Our kids want us to be happy together. It's what gives them their sense of safety and security.

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If you ask married couples what would be the most difficult challenge a couple would face, they'll probably tell you "getting over an affair". Counselors are approached all the times by couples wanting advice on how to save their marriage after a spouse has had an affair. The answer is complex, and both partners in the couple are going to have "homework" to do before the damage caused by an affair can begin to heal.

For the spouse that did the cheating, they're going to have to put aside their feelings for the person they cheated with. If they've already done that, they're going to have to forgive themselves. Yes, they did something horrible; however, if they don't get past their guilt and self-loathing, they're not going to be able to move out of the negative and into the positive. They shouldn't deny what they've done, or the seriousness of it, but accepting responsibility doesn't mean wallowing in self-pity and blame.

For the spouse that was cheated on, you need to grieve. The pain that you've been hit with is undeniable, and you need time to feel it and process it before you can begin to heal. Sublimating the hurt will only insure that it's going to rear its head again, bringing doubts and mistrust, probably at the worst possible time. Acknowledge the pain and accept that something in your life is terribly damaged. Allow yourself to feel the grief that acknowledgement will bring. Don't feel that you need to conform to someone else's time table in this, either. Grieve on your own schedule, not someone else's.

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Be sure that you know everything you need to know about the affair. If you want to know as little as possible, that's ok. If you want to know everything, that's ok, too. However, be aware that the most important thing the cheated on partner needs to know is "what are you going to do to convince me that this is never, ever going to happen again" and "why did you cheat in the first place? How can we fix that problem?" Be sure that you let your partner know precisely what you need from them. If you don't communicate, you can't work together, and you're going to have to work together to heal this breech. You need to know where they are all the time? Tell them. You need to know that they're fully invested in this marriage? Tell them. Don't expect that they know what you need.

You're going to have to do a lot of talking about a lot of things that you're not going to want to hear - but that you need to hear. When all that talking is done, make the effort to spend quality, positive time with each other. Don't let the affair become the elephant in the room. Get it out, air it, examine it, learn from it - and move on past it. Acknowledge what you both have learned, and then use that knowledge to make your marriage stronger than it ever was.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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