I Feel Unimportant To My Husband: To Woman Feeling Rejected By Her Husband
Monotony is bound to plague a marriage after a couple of years. This can result in many outward manifestations like constant tiffs, communication break down or even the couple not finding any time for each other. If ignored the initial lack of interest in each other can lead to further trouble in the marriage. Women are perhaps the first ones to detect early signs of trouble brewing in a marriage. If you too are also going through a lukewarm marriage and find yourself still in love with your husband, the first thought that could be bothering you is how to make your husband fall in love with you again.
When you are going through a troubled marriage, where you are repeatedly confronting unsavory behavior from your husband, on one hand you are thinking whether it is possible to make your husband fall in love with you again and on the other you are thinking of the worst outcome. Would he divorce you? Is he in love with someone else, and so on? The good news is that you can make your husband fall in love with you again, only if you have patience, understanding and willing to walk that extra mile. Here are some excellent tips:
o Don't spend too much time and energy on analyzing what could have gone wrong and who is responsible. In stead, focus more on finding solution to put your marriage back on tracks.
o Think positive and act positive. Think that every morning is a start of a new day when you would move one step ahead to make your husband fall in love with you again.
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o A positive mind is infectious. Soon the positive state of mind would be noticed by your husband and he would welcome a happy and content wife rather than a gloomy, complaining and depressed individual.
o Ignore the drawbacks in your appearance. If you have a positive mind, it is more than enough to make you look attractive to your husband. This does not mean that you ignore the way you look. Dress the way he wants you to dress and you would immediately catch his attention.
o Plan activities together. Spend as much quality time with your husband as possible. This can bring him closer to you and make your husband fall in love with you again. Give your other responsibilities and commitments a break to concentrate more on your husband.
o Develop a set of interests which is typical of you. Husbands hate wives who have nothing else to do but to fend babies and take care of the home. An independent woman with interests of her own would always be attractive. An important criterion to make your husband fall in love with you again.
o If you want to make your husband fall in love with you again, bring some fun and humor in the marriage. This can not only enliven the atmosphere, it can bring two friends even closer. Laugh yourself and make him laugh too, and see the difference.
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When we think about advice from the Bible, it can be easy to put it down as another time, another perspective. We may think of it as good for sheep herders and those not accustomed to life in our modern society, however if we look at advice from Peter, Jesus' key disciple, about marriage, we can be in for a surprise.
In 1 Peter 3, Peter gives advice to wives and husbands that could be mistaken as something written by a modern psychologist. Here's what he says:
For wives: Avoid being overly critical, avoid being too much into outward appearances
For husbands: Be considerate to your wives, appreciate them as friends
In our modern society, for women the context might be complaining about small things and spending too much on clothes. For men, the context might be being good listeners to our wives' concerns and sharing with our wives. All the same, the relevance is striking.
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What does this mean to you and I?
I would say it's doubly important to listen to what Peter had to say if we are married or contemplating marriage. For wives, try to balance negatives concerning your spouse with positives. I belong to a Toastmasters club and we have what is called the "sandwich technique" in giving evaluations. We try to say something positive, provide suggestion for improvement and end with saying a positive. Husbands appreciate that type of thing from their wives. Also for wives, discuss your budgets for things like clothes and jewelry with your husband to see what seems right for both of you.
Now for men, I know how easy it is to be self-centered with our interests and hobbies, but we should find time with our wives as well for a balanced approach. Also, we need to think about what is of interest to our wives and how we can share in those things with them. For example, my wife is in to bird watching which I could care less for. However I have made an attempt to learn more about birds and try to see what she finds interesting about them. One thing I learned was that a reason she found birds interesting was their unique behaviors. I started to find them more interesting as well as I took time to watch them. I think the fact that I have made some attempts to appreciate my wife's interests caused her to do the same with mine. Now we are playing tennis together which once only I had much interest for. Our friendship is developing.
So in summary, think about these suggestions coming from someone far out of the past. They are regarding issues that have never really changed.
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When you are asking about "tips for husband and wife relations" it can, of course, have more than one meaning. You may be asking a general question about your relationship or it may involve sex. It does not really matter though, as it is a problem that has to be handled, and soon.
How do a husband and wife improve their marriage?
There is no doubt than in marriage, as in any relationship, communication is very important. You have to speak to each other and make sure you are on the same wave length! So many problems occur because of bad communication. Your wife or your husband cannot understand you if you do not communicate.
Now by communicating I do not mean "nagging!" That is something else again that can really drive a wedge between the two of you. Make sure you communicate your feelings in a clear manner at an appropriate time. You have to make sure you have his or her attention otherwise it is only going to end up as nagging.
There is no way a husband or a wife can meet their partner's expectations if there is no clear communication. It is simply not possible. You have to be aware what is going on in each other's lives and you have to know what you need from each other. Now it does not matter if it is only a relationship problem or if it is a sex problem. You have to sort both out with good communication.
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If the problem is sex, there are of course a whole lot of other things you will have to do as well, but it all starts with communication. You have to let the other know how you feel and you have to really listen when he or she tells you how he or she feels. You cannot meet each other's needs if you do not know what they are.
Once there is good communication, you can take specific steps to improve your sex life. You can go out on "dates." Get a baby sitter and give each other your undivided attention for one evening. There is nothing that can make the spark die as much as constant interruptions when you are trying to share with each other. Remember, sex does not start in the bedroom; it starts at the breakfast table. Make time for each other during the day; phone each other simply to say you love each other. The husband can make a habit of bringing his wife flowers on a regular basis and she can find some other way to show him he is special.
Now here you have to be cautious! If you only bring your wife flowers when you feel like sex, it will have the opposite effect. She will only think, oh, here we go again! Bring it simply to show her you lave her and she must do the same. Once the communication is open, many of the problems will be cleared up. So if I have to choose one tip of all the tips for husband and wife relations, whether it be sex or simply the relationship, it is communication.
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Marriage in this day and age is not an easy undertaking. With many marriages failing in America due to infidelity and other factors what options does a Christian have? It is often stated that over half of marriages fail in America and with Christianity being the predominant religion clearly many of those same marriages are from a Christian household. However, if you believe your marriage is under attack what can you do to save it?
Marriage Counseling For A Christian
If you are considering getting counseling in order to save your marriage I would have to applaud you. The reason being is that as a Christian every effort should be made to save the marriage before divorce is considered. So then what options do you have to save your marriage?
The first option is to find out if your church offers some sort of marriage counseling. The reason to look to your local church first is because you more then likely have a better relationship with your pastor or elder then some psychologist would. This relationship can help smooth the rough times of trying to come to common terms with your spouse.
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The second option is to see marriage counseling from a certified professional in that area. These marriage counselors are usually some sort of social worker such as a psychologist or other professional in conflict resolution. With the hurt feelings of betrayal and loss it is easy to have a altered viewpoint of one you used to love so dearly.
The option to save your marriage is the first thing a Christian should consider. Marriage counseling can be vital to save a relationship that is in taters. The vows you take on your wedding day should be taken seriously and the fact that you are considering saving your marriage is viewed to be a very good act in the eyes of God.
Every person has their own choices to make and take on their beliefs and no one should pass judgment on how you view your marriage or your vows. However, the act of trying to save something before it is destroyed is a commendable act.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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