I Love My Husband But We Fight All The Time: How To End Fight With Husband

All of us encounter situations where we feel strongly one way or another. In many situations it doesn't really matter but rather the differences enrich discussions and our relationships. We can have our independent views and be proud of them. . Conflict comes about when two people want different things at the same time and the outcome affects both of them. This is especially true for couples who are married or in serious relationships because the stand they take individually has repercussions on the relationship.

1. Be Fair

Keep in mind that in a caring relationship the outcome of resolving the conflict has to be that both people are OK. If winning at any cost becomes most important for one, both people lose.

2. No Name Calling

Name calling and putting the other down does not belong in healthy relationships. Those tactics are an indication of having to be right at all cost. They show an inability to be able to appreciate and work with differentness. Hitting below the belt is a way of throwing the partner's weaknesses in his or her face.

3. No Third Parties

When the conflict is between two people it needs to stay there. It is not fair for one to pull parents, children, relatives etc. in to strengthen his/her side. Getting input from others can be helpful if both agree that it is warranted.

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4. No Past History

As soon as one person brings in past history it becomes much harder to deal with the conflict at hand. It can divert one from the disagreement at hand and make it much harder to work towards a mutually satisfying outcome.

5. Do Not Go To Bed Angry

This gem has been passed down through generations and it continues to be sound advice. Dragging a fight out is life draining. Anger that is not dealt with can destroy relationships.

6. Maintain a Sense of Humor

Laugh at yourself but don't laugh at or make fun of your partner. Lightening up helps you stay in the present and hopefully allows both of you to work towards a solution to the impasse.

7. Conflict Strengthens Relationships

Couples need conflict in order to grow as individuals and in their relationship.. By bringing forth their strong feelings they learn to understand each other better. Thus the initial goal is not to solve the problem but to learn to understand ones own thinking and to understand where ones partner is coming from. Some couples play it save and don't confront each other when they have differences. Couples need to ask themselves "Is there nothing worth fighting for". By confronting issues individuals grow and intimacy deepens.

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After a while, many of us begin to lose interest in the relationship that is supposed to be the most important one to us - our marriage! It's a common theme that weaves its way through many couples' relationships, making marriage seem more like a chore than a gift. However, the secret to marital happiness is investing in your marriage, right from the beginning.

Perhaps you've never heard of this, and you're wondering how it's done. Here are a few ways that you can begin to invest yourself more fully in your marriage, right now.

- Flirt with each other - Remember the days when you were dating? You hardly ever stopped flirting with each other. Flirting is so much fun, and it makes the other person feel great. For some reason, though, many married couples stop flirting after they get married. Start again today!

- Read a book together - If you're fortunate enough to have similar tastes, you can pick a book that you both love. If not, perhaps you can take turns delving into each other's interests. Books stimulate conversation, which is why reading together is a great way to invest in your marriage.

- Go to bed together - If you're in the habit of going to bed at different times, unless a work schedule gets in the way, it's time to nip this in the bud right now. Not only is bedtime the perfect time for intimacy, but it's often a time when you can take a few minutes to reconnect with each other after a long day.

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- Make sex a priority - For many couples, exhaustion sets in after a few years of marriage. Sex takes a backseat to sleep, and the relationship suffers. Even though your career might be taking off, and the kids are driving you crazy, you still need to make time to fulfill each other's physical needs.

- Encourage friendships with other people - Men, your wife should feel like it's OK for her to plan a girls' night out every once in a while. Women, your husband should be encouraged to go fishing or bowling with his friends. We need these relationships as a part of our lives, and when you support them for your spouse, you're really investing in your relationship with each other.

Can you think of any other ways that you could be investing in your marriage? Try a few of these, or come up with some of your own. You'll find that when you do, you enrich the time you get to spend together, and your marriage grows sweeter by the day.

Remember, you were head over heels in love with your spouse at one time and your marriage was once your most important investment. We'd like to help you keep it that way.

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Attempts to save a marriage often fail because the efforts were initiated too late. If a fire has to be extinguished, it should be soon after the spark of fire becomes visible to the naked eye.

You can't step in to save your property or people if you begin your attempts only after the fire has engulfed a large part of the area you are trying to save. Firemen and other experts can step in but can only salvage very little. No marriage counselor or well wisher can save your marriage if you approach them after the marriage has broken down sufficiently. At the best, they can only make your divorce peaceful and less painful.

But people invariably ignore the signs of a marriage break up. You will be surprised to know that simple things like an ego problem or differences in tastes can break your marriage.

Many people erroneously believe that only serious developments like a spouse having an affair can threaten the marriage and carry on with a false sense of security ignoring all signals that unmistakably point to a possible marriage break up.

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What are these signs? I will just mention a few commonly occurring signs:

1) You often quarrel with your spouse on petty issues. It is not the seriousness of the issue on which you quarrel but the frequency of quarrels that indicates whether this is a serious sign. An occasional fight on a serious issue may not do so much harm to your marriage as recurring fights on trivial issues.

2) You love your spouse but seldom show it to them. You want your spouse to show their love to you but they seldom do either. Unexpressed love is as good as unrequited love and is a powerful force that will unsettle your marriage in no time.

3) You often find yourself sleeping in separate bedrooms or on separate couches in the same bedroom. Sleeping together is something that will sustain the intimacy of marriage. Sleeping in separate beds is an ominous sign. It is not necessary for you to have sexual relationship but sleeping in the same bed is a great way to preserve your closeness. Do not underestimate the damage not sleeping together can cause to your marriage.

4) Stopping to perform simple gesture like saying 'good morning,' 'thanks' etc. and moving about in the same house like two machines. This kind of behavior is a clear pointer to the fact that there is no love lost between the two. And a marriage devoid of love can remain strong.

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If you've been reading my relationship advice for women now, you would know that I'm a fan of women who are strong. To me, women who are strong are independent, value themselves and basically don't need the man. This is the opposite of a woman who is needy, probably young and not emotionally developed. Well, I'm going to bite my tongue and support the opposite side of the argument. Women who are strong are the ones who will rarely find a partner that will love them for who they are. For this reason, you should do something to show men you're still human. I'll explain what it is below.

1. Why We Dislike Strong Women

Women who are strong are independent, value themselves and don't need men. This doesn't necessarily mean that the inverse is true. Women who are strong usually isolate themselves and don't let people in.

So even if someone likes you and tries however they can to get through to you, if you are so determined not to let anyone in even for love, then who's going to help you?

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2. You Don't Need Us

If you are strong, there is a good chance that you don't need us. Some women who aren't the strong type and who don't need men still want men, but are more likely to choose someone who truly matches well with them.

If you're strong, you don't need us or want us. If you don't want us, what point is there in loving you? The love won't be returned.

How To Be Strong And Be Loved

This is something that you should do once in a while to show that you still want human contact. You have to show people that you're vulnerable. If you show people that there is a way get through to you, it's just that it opens every now and then, at least people will know that you want human contact.

To do this, you can simply open up about yourself, share personal problems with people who care about you (like the special man in your life) and let them come in. They will appreciate that you chose them show your vulnerability to.

If you want relationship advice for women that bucks the trend, you've just read it. Hopefully it's made some sense to you and you think that you can use it. If you're the strong type, make sure to open up once in a while to show us that you do want us to love you.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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