Tired Of My Husband Attitude: My Husband Always Has An Attitude With Me - Husband Attitude Problem

Conflict is good for relationships provided the couple can come to a solution so that both of them feel heard and understood. In a relationship there are two unique individuals with different life experiences. It is only natural that they will run into situations where they view things differently.

One couple ran into the following situation. Sara did not like how Glenn held his soup spoon. Although he was in his mid twenties he still held his spoon with a fist as he had done since he was a little boy. She felt she did not have a right to bring it up with him. She thought that she would be disrespectful of him if she brought up the spoon issue since he was an adult. Yet it kept bothering her because after all he was not a child anymore and in her eyes it was a question of having manners that were appropriate for adults.

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Sara had grown up in a home where her father did not allow anyone to disagree with him. One day calmly, but with inner trepidation, Sara decided to bring up this issue. Much to her surprise Glenn's initial response was that he had no idea what she was talking about. He simply was not aware that the way he held his spoon was inappropriate as an adult. And when she explained it to him he took her seriously. He did not mind her bringing it up and it did not take him long to change this habit. No one had ever corrected him and he appreciated it from Sara.

Sara was delighted that she had the courage to bring this issue up with Glenn instead of letting it smolder. She also saw that her husband was open to looking at his behavior and when it made sense to him was willing to make changes. What pleased her was that Glenn reacted so differently than her father would have. It didn't matter who in the family would have raised a concern her father's response would have been anger and fury at the person who brought up the issue followed by refusal to look at his own behavior.

Sara and Glenn were able to work out "her concern" because they understood that when one of them experienced conflict it was important to find a solution so that both would be OK. Surprisingly for couples it often is the small habits and disagreements, if they are not resolved, that end up festering and becoming big.

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Marriages are structures built to last long. But sometimes they are broken so easily that you may wonder whether marriages can be so fragile. The reason for the dichotomy between the theoretical concept of marriage as an abiding arrangement and the practical reality of the structure crumbling in response to a gentle push is that the structure is not a physical entity but a conceptual arrangement. So the best way to save your marriage is to understand the importance of marriage conceived as a durable relationship built on love, trust and understanding. If you are clear about this idea of a marriage, you will not allow it to be weakened by trivial factors like irrelevant differences of opinion or petty fights.

You will be surprised if you come to know the reasons for which marriages are broken. Though incompatibility is a term, often conveniently cited as a factor rocking marriages, an analysis of the factors that have brought about this incompatibility will make you feel both amused and sad, amused by the triviality of the issue and sad at such a triviality resulting in the breaking of a marriage. This is often the reality. It is not the differences but how you handle the that will lead to a marriage break up. There are couples who have differences on issues affecting their lives but still live together by understanding that differences in perception cannot affect the love they have for each other. And there are couples who have broken up because they had differences on issues that would have had no bearing on their lives. Should you break your marriage because you have divergent opinions on President Obama's economic policies or his approach to health care? Believe me, people have broken up on such differences of opinion!

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So, is there a way to protect your marriage getting broken by such trivial issues? I don't mean that it is all right if your marriage is broken by serious issues. While resolving differences over serious issues may be challenging, allowing petty issues to harm your relationship is unwise to say the list. So, what do you do? Whenever you find that you are on the other side of the fence on some issue and that the argument begins to get hotter, just ask yourself, "Is this issue relevant to our relationship?' If the answer is 'no,' then make a determined effort to end the argument. Change the mood by telling a joke or by saying something graceful and self effacing like, "Perhaps you are right. I will think about your points and reexamine my stand." The differences or at least the argument should end there. You can also be frank by saying, "Let us agree to differ and carry on. Why should we argue on this and give room for bitterness?" Your spouse will be sure to see your viewpoint and agree with you quickly. And you would have saved the boat of your marriage getting rocked by some ripples.

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This relationship advice for women is something that is also not often covered in any of the popular magazines that women like to read. Even though these things are important, there is not enough attention paid to them and when female friends and colleagues come to me, crying and asking why men have left them, I can quickly find out the reasons why. Usually, I can see it coming but because I don't like to interfere in relationships, I don't say anything. If you aren't a complete reason your man will leave you. Here are three reasons why.

1. Self-Aware

If a woman is not self-aware she is not completed in the sense that she is empathetic. Women who are self-aware know where the line is when it comes to asking things from their men.

A self-aware woman will be appreciative of a man and will be aware of herself such that she won't upset him. If she does upset him (we do get upset too, you know), she will apologise. That means a lot more to us than being appreciated, which is also important.

2. Emotional Control

Women are a lot more emotionally developed than men are. They are more aware of their feelings from a young age, but this doesn't mean that they have more control over their feelings.

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Women who lack emotional control are less complete as individuals and harder to get along with. Ultimately, women who are more attractive exhibit more emotional control and know the right and wrong times to be displeased with their man.

3. Self-Respect

This is one of the most important points and usually is one of the core reasons that makes men want to leave their woman. If the woman doesn't respect herself and her time, she will never have her man's love.

A woman with no self-respect is the missing the biggest part of herself and in essence is the least complete when it comes to being a functioning human being. Men cannot respect a woman who doesn't respect herself. Without respect, we can't love you either.

Relationship advice for women is plentiful, yet most of it doesn't address the bigger issues that are a problem for women around the world. Don't leave it too late to complete yourself. Become more self-aware, exhibit emotional control and respect yourself. Only then will we respect you, love you and be with you til the end of our lives.

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The Law of Reciprocity is perhaps the most powerful and vital of all human motivators. Your regular use of it will bring you opportunities that you cannot now envision. This principle says, "If you perform a duty for someone, that someone will want to perform a duty for you. He or she would want to reciprocate in some way so that he or she does not feel indebted."

Majority of human beings would naturally like to be fair in their dealings with other people. As soon as someone does something pleasant for a person, that individual feels an obligation to give back, to pay the person back one way or the other. The immediate result of a favor or benevolence is to unbalance the equation of equality between the giver and the receiver. In consequence, recipients always look for ways to restore equilibrium. They look for a way to return the good deed by doing something good for you also.

Think about the experiences you have had in the past. When you take a friend out for lunch or other outings and you pay the bill, he or she would like to invite you out the next time. If you host a friend in your home for dinner, he or she will feel obliged to inviting you over at some other time to his or her own home. Perhaps, you can remember the last time you send or received Christmas or birthday cards. The overwhelming feeling for all parties is to reciprocate even when you are not all well acquainted with each other.

Many relationship problems emanate from the fact that this law is either not recognized or not practiced. It is associated to the law of retributive justice or karma as it is known in the esoteric schools. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Imagine how a relationship would flow sweetly and produce fulfillment for all concerned if people would give the love and affection they are expecting from their spouses. Think about your need for kind words and therefore the need to speak kindly to your partner. We all wish we are more trusted by our partners, how about trusting our partners and keep it so until we are disappointed. People in relationships always expect that the other party is friendlier in their attitude towards them. How about taking deliberate steps to be friendly yourself towards the other party.

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The list and opportunities are endless. The way to go is to ask yourself, what would I have done to me in this relationship? What would I like to get from this relationship? Then proceed to do those things you would want done to you and start giving those things you would want to get. In due course, by the immutable laws of nature, everything you have done and given would be returned to you many fold.

This law is infallible. Think about those times when you have smiled at a stranger and remember what happened. They usually always smile back. You can even experiment on this at home with your spouse or partner. Alternate between smiling and frowning and see what you get from your wife, children. If you are in a dating or courtship relationship, try practicing this when you meet for an outing.

And when you are not getting what you want from or in a relationship, why not sit down and review what you are giving or investing. Attitude is important also. When you do or give, it should be according to the law - unconditionally. There should be no conditions attached. You should give because it is the right thing to do. This should be separated from the ensnaring gifts of men and women in skewed up relationships. Nevertheless, they still usually lead you to get what you want, though it may be dubious.

When you arrange your life in agreement with the laws of nature or God, you will at all times be amazed at the rapidity at which good things start to turn out for you. The Law of Reciprocity in human associations is one of the most potent principles you will ever gain knowledge of.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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