My Wife Spend Too Much Money: My Wife's Spending Is Out Of Control

My Wife Spend Too Much Money: My Wife's Spending Is Out Of Control

Marriage relationship coaching experiences has made me aware that many husbands do not involve their wives in family financial decisions. I have learned, unfortunately, from these experiences that these husbands feel their wives waste money and could not be trusted with family financial management.

These husbands are quick to state that their wives have no capacity to manage money. The vehemence of these men made me wonder about my own philosophy of involving my wife in all my financial dealings. A cursory look at my financial situation, achievements - material and otherwise - was enough elementary evidence that they are wrong when compared with the situation and achievement of these cases I am acquainted with.

However, I felt that there is a chance that I am not seeing the whole picture as one or two other aspects of my life may have given me the material advantage I seem to have over these men. Some of these are my peers and contemporaries while others are my betters and those below me.

One common denominator among the men who believe that their wives ought not to be involved in family financial management is that they have not that critical combination of some wealth, peace and harmony at home. Where they have more materials than me, they have nothing that could be called a home in the sense of the world. These men prefer spending their times in drinking parlours, hanging out with the other woman or staying back at work long after the close of business; just escape confrontation from their wives.

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It would make a great subject for some scientific study to research which family financial management type produce better peace, harmony and wealth for the family.

In my opinion, wives and mothers require practical hands-on experience in family financial management. They would not use any other person's money to learn that. It would be the money of the family either earned by the husband or herself. Husbands who complain about their wives wasting money would lose in the end if she does not learn how to management money from the beginning by wasting some of your money as part of the learning process. Men waste more than the women. It is a matter of trust. If a woman knows that she is trusted and that her home is indeed her home by the faithfulness of the husband, she would be a champion in all things.

Meanwhile, here are two great reasons why wives and mothers should be given hands on experience in financial intelligence:

· Death - untimely or otherwise: Untimely death is why people take insurance covers. The intent is to ensure that one's loved ones are not left in bad financial situations after their demise. Experience is indicating that a household needs more than a lot of cash to be wealthy, comfortable or financially secure. Financial intelligence and the skill for the management of money have been found to be critical to what happens with the family finance and over and above the family's earning power. This thinking agrees with the fact that it is not how much money one makes that make him or her wealthy but how much he or she could save. A man's wealth, hard work and name could be rubbished by sudden death if his wife has no financial intelligence and capacity to manage money and wealth. All the wealth including insurance money would be frittered away in a matter of months, leaving the whole family in penury. If the wife of the deceased is practised in financial management growing from the trust her husband gave her with financial matters when he was alive, she would do much better with these resources.

· Peace and Comfort at Home: One of the situations of homes where the wife has no financial skill and power is constant squabbles, feeling of insecurity and lack of peace. The worst place to raise children that a man hope would represent his name and place in the society is in a house where the wife and mother is alienated because she is not trusted with finance. In homes where the man is menacingly wealthy and powerful, the woman transfers her aggression on the children and house helps and this takes away the peace and comfort of that home. Where the man is a struggling man who does not know that his family finance would have been better managed by a financially intelligent wife and provides money in bits to the wife to buy soap, fish and a few cups of rice each time, the wife would live with the thought that she is not trusted. She would conclude that the lack of trust is because of the lack of love. She would seek for the love and trust elsewhere and the rest you can imagine.

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The common complaint of men who do not want to involve their wives in family financial management is that their wives do not know how to manage money. And my question is - how could she when she is not given a chance? Nobody comes into the world with financial wizardry. The world's topmost financial wizards have had to learn it through trial and error. Women in the corporate world have proven to be as financially smart as any man.

Regardless of how well you provide for a wife but do not trust her, it would be hard for her to appreciate your love or claim of love for her. The truth is that trust precedes love. It is not possible to love anybody you do not trust and it is better to be trusted than to be loved and women of all cultures know this fact.

One of the most obvious ways to show trust to a woman is by giving her financial latitude. Granted that there could be financial losses in the process, but there is no other way to have a wife or anybody for that matter learn financial intelligence and gain the skill for money management except she or he is managing money and have made one or more mistakes in the process. There is no difference between you and her in the learning process.

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If your wife doesn't show affection then you've definitely got some concerns in front of you. Very often this is the first sign of serious trouble in a marriage. But at other times it's just a phase. But how do you know which is which? Well hopefully we can make some headway with this article.

First of all I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Having problems with my marriage for years, I got to a point where I just didn't even expect affection. We don't want you to get to that point so we have to fix this ASAP.

So Should You Be Worried if Your Wife Doesn't Show Affection?

Well, it's definitely a concern, because like I said it was a significant thing in my marriage. But at the same time there's no need to totally and completely panic about this. It could mean a whole lot of different things.

First of all let's look at the situation that your marriage is in right now. How long has there been trouble in your marriage? Has it been years, or has this marriage trouble just started? Or has there never been trouble before, but she just stopped suddenly?

Usually when the latter happens men will jump to the conclusion that there wife is cheating on them and that they're giving that affection to someone else. This is a bad thing to assume right away, and making accusations of an affair can damage a marriage that really isn't even damaged at all. Unless you have solid proof don't ever accuse your wife of cheating.

This does nothing but push her away further. It's also truly insulting when your wife thinks that you don't respect and trust her enough to think that she can do this. Not a good idea.

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So then what could be the reason?

Very often when something happens suddenly, like when your wife stops being affectionate, then there's a simple explanation for it. It may just take some digging to find out what it is. When I say digging, I mean simply asking and listening.

Maybe your wife is feeling a little self-conscious right now for some reason or another. Perhaps she gained some weight over the holidays. Could be as simple as that, or could be something a little more complex like she took something you said out of context. Maybe you made a comment about another woman that hit home with her and her own insecurities. Maybe you were checking out some other woman and she got a little insecure.

Could be something that simple!

If it's been an ongoing thing, then there's a good chance that your wife just doesn't feel like being intimate with you. If you've had a lot of arguing and fighting in the past then there's a chance that you've said things that you didn't mean, but still very much affects her, and results in an even more troubled marriage.

If it's been really bad then she just may be pretty much done with the marriage in her mind, and basically indifferent toward you altogether. Scary thought, but it happens. It happened in my marriage, and I had to look high and low to turn it around...and in a way where I had to turn it around all by myself. Not easy! But it was worth it because my troubled marriage is no longer troubled, and my wife and I are affectionate all over again for the last few years.

So if your wife doesn't show affection anymore, it's not necessarily the end of the marriage. In fact it may not even be close. But it may be an indication that it is, it's up to you to find out and fix whatever it is...even if it's by yourself.

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In what ways can a husband show his wife that he loves her? In what ways can a wife demonstrate her love for her husband? Loving someone means much more than words can say. Showing our love is much more sincere than telling our love. Anyone can say "I love you" but not anyone can "show love" because loving someone takes effort and sacrifice. This is why scripture says, "Love must be without dissimulation". If you are ever confused about what love is ask yourself, "Am I truly being loving by doing this, or is the person who is giving love to me showing sincerity?

When a husband shows his wife that he loves her it doesn't necessarily mean that what he is doing is something that he wants to do. What it means is he is sacrificing something of himself to show love to his wife. As an example, when a husband shows love he may give of his time with the children and allow his wife free time for doing something for herself. He doesn't have to do this, but he does it anyway out of love for his wife.

A husband can show his love for his wife in many ways. He may rub her feet while they watch television together. He may cook dinner for the family, or clean the house, or tune and oil her car for her to make sure it is safe for driving. He may take her out to dinner and to her favorite movie, even though the movie is not one he would have picked out to watch. He may bring her breakfast in bed on Sunday...

Some husbands show their love through protecting their wives. A husband may make sure his wife does not answer the door to strangers if she is home alone. Or perhaps he does not have her drive at night to go shopping by herself. Or perhaps he buys her a handgun and shows her how to shoot it for self-defense. When a husband asks his wife to not dress in skimpy or revealing clothing, he is protecting her from men thinking lustful thoughts about his wife! Whatever it is your husband does to show his love for you, this is love. Remember, circumstances are different in every home.

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When a husband loves his wife in the ways of God he is accepting his headship position with the importance it deserves. Some husbands may not want their wives to work outside of the home, which is actually the ideal situation for peace and harmony for the whole family. When a husband takes his position seriously he will be a good guide and have family regulations in place of how the household is going to be managed and what is permissible and what is not for each member of the family, including his wife. If a husband does not love, care for and protect his wife properly then he is not really loving her in the ways of God.

When a wife shows her husband her love, she does it out of respect of his headship position.Sure, a wife can rebel and not respect her husband as the man of the house, and many wives do just that, but this is not the way God designed wives to love their husbands. Some women balk at the idea of a man's protection for her. It's because they have been raised to believe that they don't need a man to protect them. They have the "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of an attitude.

Sadly 75 to 80 percent of women, even though they are married, are, or will be, victims of some kind of abuse, whether it is sexual harassment from work, or being raped, robbed, or murdered. And sometimes it is by people they are acquainted with from where they work. Some wives confuse a husband's protection as being controlling. If in the end what your husband is asking you to do is something good for you then how can that be controlling? Women and men have made a mockery out of how God shows a "husband to love his wife according to Godly principles"!

The bible tells us that a husband is to love his wife and the wife is to be respectful and submit to that love. Understand that this is what love is! Love is not sex. Love is not that giddy feeling you had when you first met your husband or wife. Love is giving of yourself, even when you don't feel like it!

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Do you think Christ felt like suffering and dying for the world sins? No, he asked God if there was any way to take the cup away from Him. "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me, nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." (Matthew 26:39) Jesus knew what he must do and what the Father's will was, but if it be possible, He asked.

Christ suffered terribly. Christ went through a brutal several hours before his death. That's love! So then how much more is it to show our love by doing nice things for the person we are married to? We're destroying God's marriage because of our selfishness. We can't suffer just a little bit, instead we divorce and don't even try restoring our marriage to God?

But look what Jesus has done for you! Couples, because they don't know what love is are destroying their marriage and making a mockery out of God's will for them in marriage. The picture of love in marriage is sacrificial love from the husband and a wife who respects her husband's headship position through submission. She is his helpmeet.

"Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (*Ephesians 5:25) Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (*Ephesians 5:22 and 24)

The bottom line is, it's nice to hear the words, "I love you" but it is much nicer to feel loved! When husbands and wives do not love one another according to God's design for them, they are not really loving one another.

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Are you perturbed by the question "Will my wife ever love me again?" People who ask themselves this question are of two types, those who have been separated from their wives and those who still live with their wives as estranged partners. It may comfort you to know that you are not alone in being haunted by this question. There are hundreds, if not thousands of others in a similar situation. On the other hand, there are people who feel that they are entangled in a relationship bereft of love, from which they would like to extricate themselves as soon as they could. What this means is that there are relationship problems everywhere. Believe me, you can get back the passionate love which you once shared with your wife.

But you need to be clear about one thing. How did you conclude that your wife did not love you any more? Did she tell you? She might not have said so in so many words but did she at least give you broad hints indicating her lack of love for you? If you ponder over this question, chances are that you may not get a quick yes as the answer. You may start wondering since when you have started feeling this way and what has happened to trigger this feeling. It is quite possible that her love for you has evaporated due to certain developments in your relationship. But what is equally possible is that this is only your perception. And your question "Will my wife ever love me again?' has stemmed out of this perception only.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

It is true that perception also has a basis. But, in a relationship, sometimes, small incidents lead people to develop exaggerated impressions. You might have been hurt by an occasional indifference shown to you by your wife and might have mistaken it for hatred. People sometimes behave irrationally due to various reasons, often caused by psychological factors. A husband facing a harrowing time in his workplace may vent his anger on his wife and may even exhibit certain extreme behavior patterns. But these have nothing to do with his love for her, which may still lie deep in his heart. This temporary aberration will disappear after a while. But the impact this creates on the wife may become serious and sometimes irreversible.

So, first analyze the background situation and understand the factors that led to the situation. Once you are clear of this, you will think of ways of rectifying things and get an answer to the question "Will my wife ever love me again?"

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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