Learning From Life's Changes

Learning from Life’s Changes
by Gary L. Wimmer

Regardless of what issues and challenges we face, life guarantees change. It can propel us from one extreme to the other, and can take many forms. But for simplicity, think of change as falling into two categories: change that we create and the unexpected changes that life constantly presents to us, which can bring about confusion, fear and doubt. Still, we can always benefit from both types of change. Let’s consider how.

Obviously, we have more control over changes we bring to ourselves. Free will is the most empowering aspect of human nature, and we exercise it when making decisions or when avoiding them. But for a decision to yield positive results, follow-through is an absolute necessity. Deciding to learn to play the saxophone but never practicing is self-delusion and will not yield results.

The rewards of consciously creating positive change include confirmation that the process works. If you practice, you attain skill, whether in music, sports or how we think, feel and experience our lives. And attaining skill in one area makes attaining skill in another easier. Yes, we do face many limitations due to history, genes, situation, etc., but there are no limits to how much we can grow in spirituality, love, compassion, forgiveness, grace, determination, open-mindedness and other virtues. And these are what give us peace and happiness.

Regarding unexpected changes, remember that we can affect and influence people, but we cannot make someone change, or even accept that the Earth is round, not flat. Furthermore, we cannot change the past. Or millions of other things. And sometimes we cannot even change our immediate circumstances. Unfortunately, we often waste our time belaboring things we cannot change, when instead we can learn from them, as well as from everything we experience.

The art of effectively dealing with unexpected changes includes recognizing that the things we can always change are also the most empowering aspects of human nature: perspective, intentions and attitude. For example, life will throw curve balls, but without them we would never become better batters. No challenge, no gain. Recognizing such truths is a choice and, like everything, a matter of perspective, intentions and attitude.

Accordingly, when faced with challenges and unexpected changes, we benefit most by first examining and perhaps changing our perspectives, intentions and/or attitudes. Consciously and subconsciously, we choose how we see life, and we can interpret what we experience in terms ranging from “life is screwing with me again” to “life is always teaching and enlightening me” or anywhere in between.

Perspective is like the pair of glasses through which see and experience life. If we feel powerless, we can always change our perspective, even though we may not be able to change our immediate situations or circumstances. Seeing the proverbial glass half full rather than half empty is always an empowering choice in the same way a batter determined to hit home runs (via intentions and attitudes) will hit more than the doubtful batter.

Truly, the more we see life in terms of its enlightening and learning aspects, the wiser, more empowered, freer and more creative we become, and the more confusion, fear and doubt open doors to new insights and perspectives. We get clear guidelines during many stages of life. But we don’t get our personalized life manual and curriculum. We must seek it, and unexpected changes occur to show us what we need to learn next. We often don’t know such things, and there is no other way for the Universe to educate, guide and update us.

Indeed, acceptance of what we cannot change is always the place to start, regardless of the challenges. Just because we struck out in one inning, we do not have to do continue to do so. Maybe we needed to strike out to improve our attitudes, skills and determination, or to take up a different activity. Yesterday’s failures and disappointments do not mandate the same will reoccur. Everyone hits bad notes when learning to play music. But if one can hear pitch and learn, even the bad notes can teach us the right notes to play.

Likewise, we become fearless only by going through fear and coming out the other side. And we gain certainty only by going through doubt. What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger and wiser, should you choose to benefit from the experience rather than be crushed by it. Again, it’s all about perspective, intentions and attitudes.

Whether our challenges involve relationships, career, health, finances or other issues, the future has yet to be created, and we do play a role in how events affect us, first through our perspective, intentions and attitudes, then via our decisions and follow-through. Being determined to “knock the ball out of the park” does not guarantee a home run, but enhances that possibility far more than we often believe.

A successful life requires letting go of what we cannot change, making decisions, following through, learning techniques, reflecting on mistakes to make improvements, and asking questions because by doing so we set ourselves up to receive answers. Try never asking a question or going through a challenge and see how little you learn and grow. Bottom line, regardless of what we face, it’s all okay. Really. Rather than highlighting where we are powerless, life is always trying to show us how we can improve via what we can do and change. Indeed, we should listen, learn to read the signs, and appreciate such an empowering education, curve balls and all.

In summary, don’t let what you cannot change paralyze you. Let what you can change empower you. Always reexamine your perspective, intentions and attitudes, and update where necessary. Then ask for insight and help, via meditation, prayer or focused introspection. Every challenge can yield new solutions, and if we never experienced unexpected changes we’d really be stuck in some deep ruts. Thank the Universe for change!

Personally, I learned these lessons via experience, introspection, dedication and determination. A lead guitarist since 1964, I’ve performed professionally since 1968. And raised Catholic, I had numerous questions about God, myself and the Universe, so in the late 60’s I began reading the works of Edgar Cayce and other psychics and spiritualists. Soon, I began developing my own psychic abilities, which we all have.

I began giving readings in 1973, and continue to do so today. But my ragged singing voice made my first fifteen years as a professional musician extremely challenging. So in 1980, at thirty-three, I began practicing piano for ten hours every day, knowing that as a pianist and guitarist I could find more work. One afternoon in June of 1984, I auditioned at some local piano bars, not expecting them to hire me. But solo pianists were in high demand then, and to my amazement, managers at three piano bars booked me after only hearing me play parts of a few songs.

Aware of my highly obvious limitations as a vocalist and pianist, I set my goals on engaging the audience. My plan worked. I found my niche and within a year, I had become a full-time soloist/entertainer. From 1993 to 2001, I lived in Denmark and performed solo throughout northern Europe. Proud of the changes I had created, I never looked back at the bands that, understandably, would not hire me.

I also consider myself one of the luckiest of humans due to an incredibly intense and enlightening near-death experience (NDE) I had in 1977, described in detail in my book, A Second in Eternity. That experience showed me how much power and information the Universe can offer us, but that we must ask. Our spiritual guides will never tread on our free will and choices, so the workaround is to ask. “Ask and you shall receive” and “Knock and the door will be opened” are not just empowering phrases. They are applicable techniques.

My NDE also confirmed that we are all individual manifestations of Infinite Mind, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Why? Because that Light is a reflection of us. Most of all, as we move toward it, it also approaches us, since it is where we came from. So put fear and doubt aside, and let life and its changes confirm these truths. It’s always what we can change that matters most and leads to solutions.