My Husband Makes Me Feel Like An Inconvenience: Tips On Coping When Your Husband Says He's No Longer In Love
I have been receiving emails asking about "ways to make my husband love me again" and most of the women wanted almost the same thing from their husband. They wanted to have more of their husband's love, respect and appreciation. They wanted to be close again in the marriage. All of them felt a distance between their husbands.
More often when there is distance in a relationship, communication also breaks down. Arguments and cold shoulders start to come into the marriage, making both to be far apart from each other and divorce on the verge.
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It is very likely that your husband still loves you deeply. It is just that when both of you are together for too long in a marriage, it becomes a routine of doing the same thing every day. Sometimes, a husband or wife may detach himself out of the marriage because of the attention gave is different from the beginning stage. In the beginning, most couples are likely to care and concern more on each other, there will be a lot of effort and loving gestures. However, when couples start to progress deeper into a relationship, they will get used to each other and eventually the romance is also not as strong as before.
What are the proper ways to make your husband love you again? Many women take the wrong approach to make their husband love them again. Usually, they express out their frustrations and emotions by being argumentative or overly compromising. Any of the two extremes are not the good ways to attract his attention on you. It is likely that he is going to be defensive as well if you go up to him arguing and when you give in too much to him, he will take you for granted.
Cut away the nagging as men hate nagging when it gets too much. Praise your man if he does something great even if it is a small thing. Learn to respect and appreciate him. Bring back the good feelings into the marriage, so that he can feel it too. When your husband can feel that you understand him well, he is going to treat you the same way too.
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Are you looking for ways about how you can make your marriage happy? If that is the case, then you should be grateful because you have landed on just the right page you need. Take advantage of the details that this article will share with you so that you may once and for all address your marriage problems and needs.
Find below some of the things that can help you make your marriage happy:
1. Learn About The Power Of Acceptance
Acceptance plays a very crucial role in keeping a happy marriage. If you will accept the differences between you and your spouse, there can be no doubt that you will have a happy marriage. But then if you will always grunt about your spouse's mistakes or shortcomings, then you can right there and then say that your marriage is doomed to fail. Only by adjusting to one another's differences will you be able to make your marriage happy. But it is going to be a tough job.
2. Master The Art Of Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable
Think about it, you are two people brought up totally differently, raised by two completely different families, and born with distinctly unique DNAs so you cannot expect that you will always be agreeable with one another. That is why you will need to master the art of disagreeing with your husband without sounding or looking disagreeable. Otherwise, you might just end up arguing all the time.
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3. Always Make An Effort To Look Beautiful
More to the point; there should always be an effort to make yourself look beautiful. After all; every man would always want to brag about his wife. Some even say that their wives are their prized trophies in life. Your husband might be sharing the same judgment with these men. In that case, you will really need to make sure that you will look extra beautiful at all times.
4. Stay Honest With Each Other
In addition, make it a point that honesty will not lose its place in your marriage. Otherwise, you might just lose trust in each other which can be very dangerous for your matrimony. Simply put, make it a point that you both stay honest at all times. There are times when telling your husband something that is true can hurt his feelings, but then sooner or later he will realize that it is for his own good that you are telling him. In doing so, you might even be surprised at how such honesty in your marriage can help make your marriage happy.
5. Spend More Time With Each Other
Last but not least, make sure that you enjoy each other's company. While you are still both young, spend more time with each other so that you will be able to bring your love to a deeper dimension. Follow all these enumerated tips about how to make your marriage happy and you can be sure that you will never have to keep asking about how you can keep your marriage happy till the end of time.
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It was a hot August Sunday afternoon in 1963 when my teenage bride-to-be and her father walked down the aisle at First Christian Church in Longmont Colorado. Before "God and these witnesses" we pledged to "love, honor and obey" until "death do us part."
It seems to have stuck.
Against all odds, we have kept those vows for 50 years. According to ask.com, the 2010 Census reports only six-percent of first time marriages last 50 years. That puts my wife Amy and me in a very elite group we are proud to join.
After some discussion, Amy and I agreed on the following ten reasons our marriage has lasted 50 years:
Reason #1: We received the blessing of both God and our parents. We grew up in nearly identical homes, at least from the perspective of religion and world-view. Both of our families were in church whenever the doors were open. We attended and met at a Christian college, and before we were married, our parents gave their approval, albeit with some hesitation given the fact we were both teenagers.
We had the role model of parents who kept their vows "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health," which helped us to live the same way.
Reason #2: We listen to each other. To be honest, I was a slow learner at this one. My brother and I had a riff we would often spout to our children, "If I don't know it, Uncle Dick knows it. If Uncle Dick don't know it, Dad knows it. If Dad don't know it nobody knows it." You can imagine, that kind of attitude limits listening.
A very special professor at Creighton University, Dr. Fr. Robert McInery, taught us to listen with more than our ears. He said that listening is more than hearing what someone says; it's hearing what their heart says. Even I, the bloviater-in-chief, was able to become a good listener.
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Reason #3: We speak love to each other. And we still hold hands too. We hug often, and snuggle in bed even after an argument.
Early in our marriage I read that a husband should tell his wife he loves her every single day. I started immediately to do so and have done a pretty good job. I don't know why it's so hard for most men to speak words of love; but let me tell you, it's worth the effort. If you don't know how, start learning today.
Reason #4: We spend moments together. I've used the word "moments" for a reason. Brief moments together can be wonderful - a cup of tea, a brief hug in the kitchen, even a short conversation on the phone to exchange loving words.
Longer moments come at lunch after church or a short drive in the country. We've also spent many much longer moments together on long journeys having visited all but three states and over 30 foreign countries. And there's no one, NO ONE, we would rather spend our moments with than each other.
Reason #5: Our relationship is our top priority. We have three adult children we love dearly, but we do not love them as much as we love each other. We have great friends, but no friend greater than each other. We have a good business and great rapport with wonderful clients, but ten-times more important is the connection we have with each other.
People have tried to get between us. My wife has had more than one guy hit on her, and I know this may be hard to believe, but I too have had my opportunities. But no one has ever been allowed to get between us.
Some years ago I was in a bar with some male friends (I don't go to bars very often, so I was uncomfortable). A good looking young single woman was chatting up the guys when suddenly she looked at me and declared, "You're married aren't you?" I said, "Yes I am. How did you know?" She responded, "I can tell - the good ones are always taken."
Reason #6: We speak respectfully to each other. As a teenager I heard a preacher use his wife as the butt of his jokes, and it offended me. I promised myself then, I will always speak respectfully of my wife.
Everyone who knows me knows I love my wife because I always say nice things about her - which, of course, isn't that hard to do.
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Reason #7: We do little things that become big deals. I found out some years ago Amy really likes it when I wash her car. So, I wash her car, especially if I want something! Yet without ulterior motive, she irons my shirts. She cooks for me and sometimes I cook for her. I even open the car door for her from time-to-time.
Reason #8: We show appreciation for each other and for the blessings of God. I thank her after every meal whether it is a grilled cheese sandwich or a meal fit for a king. And she thanks me when I do things for her. Appreciation shines the light on what's right about a relationship, and that fosters good feelings both ways.
However, the appreciation we give to Almighty God for His blessings may be more significant. It's easy to forget we live in the most prosperous nation on earth and that we had no choice over where we were born. That is why we take time to thank God for good health, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a place to live.
Reason #9: We laugh and reminisce together. According to research, couples who laugh together and regularly reminisce about fun times tend to be much more satisfied with their relationships. We talk often, laugh easily and enjoy reminiscing about old times, especially the good old times.
Of course, we know how to yank each other's chain. We know what words inflict the most pain, but seldom pull use harmful language, But if we do, there is a quick and sincere apology. We would rather laugh and love than fuss and fight; it's better for body, soul and spirit.
Reason #10: We believe the best is yet to come. What I'm talking about here is our attitude about our present situation and our future prospects. Both of us are in pretty good health: we are mentally alert and physically active. We love our children, grandchildren, and friends. We enjoy our business, are grateful for the state and town we live in, and are comfortable in our home.
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What men want in a woman is someone who is self-assured. Another word for this is someone who is assertive. They know what they want in life. They know what they're on the world to do. They know how they feel about themselves, the people around them and their husbands and no one can change that opinion. There are people who are easily swayed by people who bad-mouth others or gossip. If you're self-assured, you can be assured of the fact that your man will appreciate your strength and tenacity. Here are three reasons why he likes that about you.
1. You have standards
There is nothing worse than a woman who doesn't respect herself. We are in a modern age where women are on par with men. Same income, same rights, same everything. Still, women are neglected when it comes to relationships. They allow themselves to be walked all over by men.
Women who have standards are firm about them and no matter the amount of social pressure, etc. they are able to abide by their own laws. To a man, that's an attractive quality to have.
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2. You are confident
Women who know what they want in life are confident. Women who are ambitious know what they want in life. Women who are married know that what they wanted was to find a man that would make her happy. If she got married for any reason other than that, she's in denial.
As much as a loyal man is important to a marriage, having a woman who has similar beliefs is also integral to happy relationship. If you aren't confident about your marriage, then how can your man be confident in you?
3. It's rare to find women who are self-assured
For the simple fact that it's still reasonably uncommon to find women who are self-assured, men would love to be married to someone who displays this uncommon trait. You're considered a lot more valuable because you're harder to find.
What men want is a woman who is self-assured. If you can show that you have personal standards that you always stick by and that you are confident about what you want from your marriage, you're a rare specimen and your man is going to appreciate that. Be self-assured and I can assure you that you will be loved by your husband. Do you think you are self-assured enough?
Now Listen Carefully-
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.
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