I Cheated On My Husband How Do I Get Him Back: I Had An Affair And Have Decided To Return To My Marriage

I cheated on my husband. He caught me in the act and now he wants a divorce. I still love him. How can I stop him from getting a divorce? How can I save my marriage? This is the common question most women want answers to right now. This article will address the issue and how to go about saving your marriage.

In most cultures, it is a taboo for a married woman to cheat on the husband. The woman's private part is sacred and worshipped. It is meant for procreation and the enjoyment of the husband alone. If for whatever reasons the woman became tempted to sleep with another man, it holds grave consequences for the woman and the man.

The woman may die in strange circumstances in the process if she tries to cover up the acts while the same consequences can befall the man if he covers up too.

In order to resolve the issue of cheating and infidelity, the woman may have to go through some spiritual cleansing and purification process to appease the spirits of the gods before the marriage can be restored that is if the man still want the woman.

Cheating on your husband is a sinful act before God. The Bible accepts divorce in the face of a proven adultery. However, there is room for forgiveness and restoration if the sinful partner confesses and remorsefully asks for forgiveness from God and the husband. To err is human, to forgive is divine!

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How to stop my husband from getting a divorce and save my marriage

Whatever led you to cheat on your husband, you must take the initiative to allow your husband to want to forgive you. Do not lose heart. It takes courage to face the truth about yourself. Do not deny or lie about the act. The truth will always make you free from shame.

First, practice forgiving yourself now. Second, think good thoughts of how best you can build your marriage to become the best in the present circumstance. Third, allow time for healing. Fourth, you must change yourself. You must take full personal responsibility for your actions. No blame-placing and excuse-making. Do not say your husband starved you of sex and you decided to help yourself. Do not be so arrogant to hold on to your belief and think you are right. Humble yourself and change your way of thinking to allow healing and restoration to take place in your marriage.

Anxiety is often our first reaction when we are caught cheating on our husbands. In those moments getting peaceful may seem apathetic. Subconsciously we think, "If I care, I'll worry. If I want my husband, I must stay upset." It is a misguided belief that the outcome will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying. No, your best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise more easily and naturally out of a peaceful state whereas anxiety block solutions.

You need to know that sometimes restoring and saving your marriage takes place quickly, but most times it happens slowly, step-by-step especially if you cheated on your husband and his friends are aware of what happened. His friends may influence his decision-making process. You do not know exactly which step will bring restoration, so you need to keep walking and acting in faith. Before a leper was welcomed back into society the priest had to pronounce the leper "clean". You can still save your marriage even if you cheated on your husband. How wonderful!

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Wondering how in the world you can keep your marriage sans all the troubles and pains of a marital conflict? Well, first of all; it is very crucial for anyone in a relationship to understand that marriage is not a rose garden. Do not expect that when you get married, everything will all be roses and honey. Of course, there will always be the ups and downs in any relationship. Here are just a few things that you may want to think about how you can keep your marriage for good:

1. Expect That Marriage Is Going To Be A Rollercoaster Ride

No wonder marriage is always compared to having a rollercoaster ride! You will never know when you are going to be up and when you are going to be down so the best way to overcome these stumbling blocks is to face the problem head on and begin with the end in mind. Start with the realization that there will always be problems in any relationship - and marriage is no exemption.

2. Love And Marriage Should Always Go Together

Never forget that love and marriage is like a horse and a carriage; or so the song by Frank Sinatra goes. In other words, there should always be love in matrimony. Love should be the most fundamental ingredient of a union between two people in love. Without love, you can be certain that no marriage can ever last long.

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3. Marriage: No Walk In The Park

What is more, always consider marriage as a challenge. For after all; no marriage is a walk in the park. It always entails a strong sense of understanding, commitment and willpower. Without any of these three, it will be even harder for the husband and wife to make the marriage work. To understand this better and therefore, it may be a lot easier for you to rise above the challenges, do not forget that you and your spouse grew up in two totally different families.

4. Master The Art Of Acceptance

Last but not least, expect that you will see a lot of individual differences between you and your husband. In case you do not know yet the secret to triumph over such indifferences - it boils down to learning all about acceptance. Accept each other for what you are. Never try to change the other person for how you would like him to be or what you expect him to be.

If you see individual differences between you and your husband, that is perfectly okay. In fact, it is normal. Just make sure that you do not make an issue out of such differences. Or else, they might just get blown out of proportion and you may not be able to control the damage it will cause your relationship. To ensure that you will be able to keep your marriage for a lifetime, keep the flame of love burning between you and your husband. For after all; there can be no lasting marriage without love.

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In any marriage, there will be problems. Some couples find solutions to these problems, and some don't. There are many reasons for marital issues. This article contains only a few of the most common marriage problems and solutions to help you fix them.

Of course the all time number one marital problem is... money. As is said, 'money is the root of all evil'. If you or your spouse has lost a job, or if you suddenly have unexpected medical bills or other expenses, you will feel the stress in your marriage jump.

When you are stressed about how the bills are going to get paid, everything else is going to seem like a crisis. It can get so out of hand that a dirty mark on the wall will spark an argument.

How do couples stop fighting over money? In most marriages, one person handles the checkbook. Take some of the stress off of that person, and let the other see the bills and figure out how to pay them.

The person who is not involved with the finances probably has no idea of how expensive the bills are, and this will show them that the money really is going into the bills and not elsewhere.

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Let the little things go.

In a marriage, you should pick and choose your 'battles'. When we're under a lot of stress, everything makes us angry. It is very important that we don't take it out on our spouse. We don't mean to do it, and most of the time we don't even know we're doing it.

When married couples start to nit-pick, or make a fuss over every little things that done or not done, or said or not said, this can very easily lead to more marriage problems. The solution?

Learn to let some things slide. So your wife made tv dinners instead of a home cooked meal - don't say anything, just assume that she's had a really bad day, or isn't feeling well, and leave it at that. After all - you are eating, right?

If your husband, once again, didn't take the trash out - don't make a big deal out of it. He may be tired, or just didn't remember to do it. You could take the trash out, just this once, right?

Once the two of you can let the little things slide, you will find that a lot of your arguing is going to stop. Maybe not all of it, but most of it. And the stress that has been overwhelming will start to disappear, leaving you both feeling much better.

Talk to each other as much as possible. Say nice things to each other as much as possible. Keep the bad things to yourself. For example, if your spouse is having a bad hair day, either tell them they look nice, or don't say anything at all. They already are probably feeling bad about how they look, and your adding to it will only make them feel worse.

This is your spouse - you should make each other feel good about yourselves, not bad.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Two weeks ago our second son Luke married a wonderful Christian girl. You can imagine how my wife and I felt as we watched Luke and Amanda take their marriage vows. We were so thankful that they found one another. And you could see the joy on their faces as the minister made the declaration-"I now pronounce you man and wife."

But when a couple gets married there is one thing missing from their minds. They are not thinking about the difficult times ahead. And rightly so. This is a time to celebrate. It is not a time to think negative thoughts about the future. But one thing is certain. Difficult times will come. In order to have a successful marriage, a couple needs to know how to handle the stress of life.

Let's stop and list some of the things which place stress on a marriage. The demands at work can place stress on a marriage. If a person spends long hours at work, then they will have less time to work on their marriage. It is sometimes a balancing act to care for your children, and at the same time keep romance alive in your marriage. And finally, sickness of a child, parent, or spouse can place stress on a marriage.

But the number one cause of stress in a marriage is finances. We are now facing a great recession, and some would even say it is a depression. Whether you call it a recession or depression, one thing is certain. There are couples who have worked hard all their lives. But suddenly they cannot pay their bills. And when you cannot pay your bills, this places stress on your marriage.

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Let me share with you three steps you can take to reduce the stress in your marriage.

1. Determine what is or is not your fault. Some people take what I call a" machine gun" approach to marital problems. If there is a problem they start firing away at their spouse before they get all the facts. But we need to stop and think through this important question. To what degree is this problem my fault, or my spouse's fault? And to what degree is this problem simply caused by the circumstances of life?

It would be a terrible thing to blame your spouse for the lost of their job when it was the recession that caused them to lose their job. If you blame your spouse when it was not their fault then you will miss the opportunity to show them your love and support. You Will miss the opportunity to help them.

2. Determine what you can and cannot change about your present situation. I would suggest you and your spouse take out a sheet of paper. List together what you can do about your present situation. Perhaps there are three things you can cut out of your life to save money.

The recession has deeply affected the income of the church I serve, and this has affected my income. One of the first things we did was to go to one car. It's not always easy to schedule what my wife and I need to do. But this saved us a fair amount of money.

3. What you cannot control leave in God's hand. This requires wisdom. I sometimes pray this prayer. "God, give me the wisdom to determine what I can and cannot control, and give me the grace to place in your hands what I cannot control." Indeed God will answer this prayer from the lips his people.

When I was a teenager our neighbor lost his eyes sight. Imagine what it would be like to be in your 40's and suddenly lose your eye sight. This situation placed a great deal of stress on their marriage. My friend even had to go away to school for a short period of time to learn how to deal with his blindness. Even with this stressful situation they had a successful marriage. And you can have a successful marriage if you follow the three steps to reduce stress in your life.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com