My Husband Said I Was A Mistake: What Should You Do If Your Spouse Says Your Marriage Was A Mistake

In case your spouse has proceeded to start legal proceedings to end the marriage, there is very little you can do about it, but in case you still have time to make your marriage take a positive U-turn, you could still find ways to save your marriage, before it gets too late.

As strange as it may sound, the starting point of salvaging the situation to save your marriage, is you. This is not the time to blame or point fingers at your spouse for all the misgivings and mistakes done. In stead, take a close look at your self and try to locate which are the areas which could have contributed to the break up. In other words, it is time to be a good listener and hear what your spouse has to say. Remember, to save your marriage, both of you have to be equally serious about the issue - it can never work one way.

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If you look closely, there have to be earlier situations where your spouse has often complained about your attitude or behavior. It is also a fact that you have not paid much attention to these complaints and you took your spouse for granted. Though this is a common mistake we all make, it still does not justify what we do. If only we were a bit more careful and sensitive about such complaints, perhaps a situation would not arise where you are desperate to save your marriage. In any case, it is now the time to revisit those times, remember your hurtful or insensitive behavior which upset your spouse and take conscious steps to correct them on a war footing. To save your marriage, making empty promises worsens matters and spoils every chance to recover what is lost. Remember the mind takes a severe beating in a marital break up and to save your marriage, you might have to walk a long distance before the whole situation gets back to normal.

Changing any old habit is tough. But if your primary aim in life at this point in time is to save your marriage, then you have to give it all you have got to make things different. Of course, the process is slow and your spouse might not even notice your efforts initially. But if the feeling of love and bonding between the two of you is strong and sincere enough, with time, your spouse would surely notice a changed and improved you. so long as you do not harbor any negative feelings about your spouse and make sincere and positive changes in your attitude and behavior, chances are that you can make your marriage take a U-turn and ultimately save your marriage.

Many may not agree, but marriage is more than physical attraction and excitement. To build a strong bond, it takes years and continuous effort from both the partners. Cracks in a marriage is inevitable but the sooner you notice them, the better are your chances to save your marriage.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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As far as I know nobody has asked to change the vows one makes at the altar to something other than "until death do you part" The idea of marriage being a permanent relationship that lasts a lifetime is tremendously important. The children who come into this world through a family need the security of permanence. Yet the statistics demonstrate a society that does not know how to make marriage permanent. Of all the skills learned in schools none could be more important than the 'how to live' skills everyone needs in order to understand and cultivate deep meaningful relationships. Yet there are no skills taught in our schools that even come close to teaching people how to be married. Nearly everyone gets married, and over 50% of everyone who gets married gets a divorce. It is not out of a lack of trying.

You Don't Need To Be a Statistic

If you buy a computer or even a washing machine a manual will come with the product. Could you imagine buying a new camera and not having a manual with it? It would be freak out city! You would even be afraid to turn it on. Yet people get married every single day without having any idea of where 95% of the switches are that influence their relationship. Have you ever had a perfect relationship in your life? Well, this is the one you want to be perfect and it can be. But you need a manual.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Here are 7 questions for you:

1) What is the leading cause of problems in marriage?

2) What are three things you should say to each other every single day?

3) What is the definition of marriage?

4) How do you make sure your marriage improves every single day?

5) What is intimacy compared to sex?

6) How do you protect your marriage from outside negative influences?

7) How do you have the best marriage in the world for the rest of your life?

The principles of right behavior in marriage are universal. Learning the principles and how to apply them will make your marriage the most amazingly incredible experience of your life, as it is supposed to be.

You don't have to take a risk that the anecdotes you have heard about being married or the advice your aunt gave you will work. Don't leave your marriage to chance. Study marriage as if your life depends upon it. Don't become one of my clients in five years because you couldn't figure it out on your own.

If you are like most people you've put more effort into planning your wedding day than you have your marriage. Now you have an opportunity to protect the most important decision of your life. You can and must walk confidently down the aisle and pathway of life.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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It's almost untenable for a man to say it, but a straying wife has almost always strayed due to either abuse or neglect on the part of the husband; and most often it seems it's because of the latter. And how can this man say it? He's known a wife that strayed--one that never returned. Not that he was entirely to blame, but he's seen how easily it happens.

The quote below tells of another man who learned this stark truth:

"Her affair was a symptom of a terminally ill marriage. I'm not excusing her behavior, but I was not an attentive, loving, encouraging husband. She repeatedly told me how sad, lonely, and discouraged she felt and I selfishly tried to talk her out of her needs. I didn't compliment her enough and I was not the spiritual leader of our home. Our marriage was a mess and a lot of that was my fault."

When my former wife decided that the marriage was over, having fallen for another man, I was absolutely devastated as anyone would expect. I thought it would never happen to me. I thought she had it good (or 'good enough') with me. I was comfortable and grew too comfortable. I had a good job but travelled too much. I drank too much on weekends and preferred the company of the television to her. Though I was generally loving, I could at times be distant, harsh and critical. I was quite an imperfect husband.

In the end, I got a rude slap-in-the-face type of awakening and it took me close to a year to get over it. I tried everything I could for nine months to put the marriage back together but it wasn't meant to be. It was too late in my case.

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And this subject of extra-marital affairs, of course, has not just affected me. It affects all manner of married couples and there's all manner of outcomes. I've got a unique and special interest in this subject and have studied it keenly... learning about what's happened to other marriages. It sparks my curiosity.

I feel good for those who, with lots of hard work, decide to put their marriages back together, confronting all the negative emotion; I often wished I'd have had that opportunity, mainly for the kids and my former wife's benefit. But now I'm abundantly happily married to the most special and most beautiful woman I've ever known.

The key issue I think is we men never really get the warnings we need. We need to be beaten over the head with a baseball bat to really understand. And life's not like that. The wife will often take matters into her own hands before that occurs. I felt I didn't get the "notice" I needed to shape up, yet it didn't matter in the end that my former wife had been trying to communicate it to me for several months, if not years beforehand, yet I did not listen. We just didn't speak the same language.

If you've been married for several years and have grown too comfortable or there are the slightest communication issues between you, don't think for one moment it can't happen to you, because it can. Shape up now while you have a chance.

Back to the gentleman who made the above quote regarding the right direction and focus for marriage:

"Our theory is: always be fine-tuning your relationship. Never let your guard down for a moment. Never take each other for granted and be careful not to get caught up in emotions because our emotions can deceive us."[1]

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Over the years, when couples begin to experience difficulties within their relationship, professional counseling may be sought. Many married couples struggle to determine whether or not marriage counseling is right for them. Some seek professional help after experiencing a small hiccup in the relationship while others wait until the problems are virtually unmanageable and a split is inevitable. Regardless of when a couple decides to seek professional counseling, there are a few things to consider before looking for outside help.

Communication Breakdown

One way to determine whether or not marriage counseling is a good thing for a marriage is to analyze the communication between you and your spouse. Do you have difficulty communicating with your spouse? How often do you sit down and have a heart to heart conversation? If there are difficulties with daily communication or if most conversations end in arguments, the marriage could possibly benefit from some professional marriage counseling. Frequent bouts of silence between you and your spouse could also indicate the need for counseling sessions. Every marriage could stand to sit through a few sessions to improve communication skills and learn how to effectively share with your spouse. Often just a minor tune-up can have a major impact on the ability to converse.

Life Situations

Relationships go through ups and downs in response to things that occur in life. When a loss of job, a move, loss of a loved one or any other major life change takes place it may be a good time to take advantage of marriage counseling. When you experience a major loss or change in your life it affects your relationship more than you know. Often the changes may cause a rift between you and your partner or cause a wide array of emotions to affect the stability of the relationship. While you may think you are capable of handling whatever life throws your way, ensuring that you have the tools necessary to respond may be offered through counseling sessions. Working together through life's hardships can also re-establish the marriage bond as well as help you cope with the crises as a team.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Devastating Circumstances

In the event of circumstances that have the potential to destroy a marriage, couples should seek professional counseling to assist them through the process of reconciliation, healing or determining how to go separate ways in a healthy manner. Some events could include: an affair, financial crisis, abuse, criminal activity, and problems with addictions. Due to the devastating nature of each of these problems and the severity of the situation it is in the best interest of the couple to seek counseling. Recovering from any one of the aforementioned situations is virtually impossible without some outside help.

Keeping a marriage healthy can be difficult at the best of times and seeking assistance from time to time is not only healthy but in some cases, necessary. Remember to try to look at your relationship objectively and keep in mind that it will take work to keep the marriage together. Every marriage will experience ups and downs but it is important to take stock and ask for help when things get too tough to handle on your own. Ask for a referral to a local therapist or counselor who you both can trust. Be prepared to share honestly as you work through any issues you may have. You may also consider marriage counseling individually as well as a couple to help combat any personal issues.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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