Narcissistic abuse recovery step 4 is about releasing and healing the pain of the injustice and the betrayal of what the narcissistic personality has done to you.

One of the greatest emotional lessons that we can ever learnandrealise is that our identity and choices and creations in life are not dependent on what someone else is or isn’t doing to us. The narcissist only has power over us when we still have emotional energy hooking us to the narcissistic individual.

We all know that the narcissistic tendencies of projection, pathological lying, smear campaigns, and emotional, psychological and financial abuse are unthinkable and these actions are completely void of morality. However, when we take narcissistic behaviour personally and 'make it about us' - we take on the pain, anguish and the trauma of this behaviour. We takeitinside us, and this is incredibly damaging. Firstly we become the identity of an abused victim, and additionally the reeling in the pain of the injustice and the betrayals is one of the most deadly hooks the narcissistic personality has in his or her arsenal against you.

By sucking you into the pain of what he or she did, the individual with narcissistic personality has power over you. The thoughts and feelings that result keep you powerless to break away emotionally, and you are unable to focus on yourself and your own needs. This ensures that your attention is firmly planted on what he or she is or is not up to. That is what narcissistic supply isall about.

This Step of the recovery process is about purging yourself of the pain of narcissistic behaviour - that could keep you in anger, resentment and despair - so that you can break even further away from the narcissistic muck. Therefore when the narcissistic personality lies, fabricates stories to discredit you, projects on to you and gaslights you, you will have reclaimed enough of your foundation of truth to not react with painful thoughts or statements of "How could he or she do that to me?"

As a result you won't hook in and hand over narcissisticsupply as a result of trying to get accountability, sensibility or validation, and you won't be interested in getting even or getting revenge. You will simply handle whatever you need to step by step as you walk your truth with calm indifference and focused purpose. This is how you will get real and powerful results, and ensure events turn in your favour.

Most importantly you won't try and prescribe to the narcissistic personality or try to make him or her understand 'you are right' and 'he or she is wrong'.

As a result, thenarcissistic personality will no longer have power over you, because there is no more narcissisticsupply to gain. Then the narcissist runs out of energy and steam, and will need to go elsewhere to gain narcissistic supply. Then you will be on the path to gaining yourself and your life back.

Athour Bio:

The Melanie specializes in, narcissist relationship and offers many valuable tips. If you want to know more about narcissistic personality disorder then please visit

Author's Bio: 

The author is specializes in, narcissistic relationship and offers many valuable tips. If you want to know more about narcissistic personality then please visit