At this point in time, a man could believe that, once he finds the right woman, he will settle down. If so, this will mean that he is either not in a relationship, or he is simply having casual encounters.

Over the years, he might have dated a number of women; then again, he might have only had casual encounters. But, irrespective of what has taken place in the past, he won’t have met a woman that was right for him.

Looking For the Whole Package

Assuming that he has dated a number of women, he could think about all the good things that he liked about them. Along with this, he could also think about all the things that he didn’t like about them.

Some of these women might have been better for him than others but not one of them would have been suitable for him. As a result of this, he won’t have wanted to take the next step and settle down.

One Approach

What he may believe is that he just needs to continue to meet and date different women and, sooner or later, he will find the right one. He might not be overly concerned about when this will be or he could hope that it will happen before long.

If he is not overly concerned, it could show that he is fairly young and/or has a lot going on in his life. But, if he does hope that it happens soon, it could show that he is not fairly young and/or doesn’t have much going on in his life.

A Key Moment

Now, if he was to end up meeting a woman that ticks most if not all of his boxes, to speak, he could be happy to allow what they have to blossom into a relationship. From here, they could end up going even further and thus, having a child or children.

What this would then illustrate is that before he met this woman, he simply hadn’t met a woman who was right for him and this is why he was unable to settle down. If he was to look back on this area of his life, he could be pleased that he took his time and didn’t settle.

Another Scenario

However, although this could take place, he could end up meeting a woman who is right for him in so many ways and yet, he might not be able to settle down. This can be a time when he will end up feeling deeply unsettled and unable to embrace what is going on.

Consequently, he could end up wondering what is going on and why he is unable to accept what he has wanted for so long. If he does respond in this way, it will give him the chance to explore what is going on.


On the other hand, if he is unable to step back and reflect and simply reacts to what is going on, it might not be long until the relationship ends. He could come to believe that what is going on for him proves that the woman that he is with is not right for him.

How he saw her before will then end up being blocked out by his conscious mind. As he will have changed so much, the woman could wonder what is going on; it could be as if he is a different person.

The other Side

But, as his behaviour will be radically different to how it was before, it is to be expected that she would be confused. Furthermore, she might have been told, over the years, that if a man is really into a woman, he will commit.

Thanks to what she has been conditioned to believe, then, she could question if there is something wrong with her. This can be seen as a perfectly natural response, considering that her experience doesn’t match up with what she sees as the truth.

A Closer Look

What this view won’t take into account is that even if a man does find a woman that he is really into and loves, it doesn’t mean that every part of him will be on board. The reason for this is that he can be heavily conflicted.

Therefore, while part or parts of him can want to commit to a woman, another part or parts of him can want something else. And, due to how strong this other part or parts are, he can end up pushing away and sabotaging the very thing that he truly wants.

Looking Deeper

With this in mind, if a man is in this position or has recently been in this position, and he was to explore why he is this way, he could find that although he has one physical self, he is made up of many different parts. This is then why it is then not merely a case of him wanting one thing and going through with it.

For him to experience what he wants at a conscious level, he will need to make sure that the part or parts of him that want something else are either on board or are, at the very least, not as impactful. When it comes to the part or parts of him that are not on board, these can be a consequence of what took place during his early years.

Childhood Wounds

For example, he might have been brought up by a mother who was emotionally unavailable and was unable to provide him with the love that he needed. This would have prevented him from being able to securely attach to her and develop a strong sense of self.

Throughout this stage of his life, he would have often been left or smothered, which would have caused him to see closeness as something that would undermine him. Moreover, these experiences would have caused him to experience a lot of pain and this pain will be held inside his body.


If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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