Self-esteem - A Fragile Thing

Self-esteem is something we discuss very often, but without knowing the proper definition for it. Indeed, we do not need a very strict definition, but one that is both simple and right would define self-esteem as being a person’s basic and fundamental sense of worth. It’s the thoughts and feelings the person has about himself and his idea of worthiness – whether he is as capable as the others around him, whether he is as good as them, both professionally and morally, and whether he deserves good things in life.
Low self-esteem occurs when a person thinks really bad about himself and is capable of declaring himself unworthy, whether that happens in front of others or in his own mind. Low self-esteem can be a product of other issues, like depression , and it can cause other conditions like anxiety and depression itself. That’s why managing it is a very necessary step in the personal development of a person, albeit being a difficult one at the same time.
Low self-esteem (or as we Danes say - lavt selvværd hjælp)can be a product of many things, ranging from bad upbringing to a recent chain of failures, but identifying the reasons for it may allow a person to change his perception of himself to a more positive one. People with low self-esteem are bound to miss on some opportunities in life, and treating low self-esteem will allow them not to miss out on any more of those.
Think about it yourself – can a series of events, mishaps that don’t depend on you or your actions, actually be the reason for your unworthiness ? Of course no – if you’ve done all that you could, and things still turned bad , it’s not your fault, and thus you shouldn’t question your capabilities.
Even if it’s your fault, a good thing to do is not to claim yourself “bad” and get it over with, but to learn from your mistake, try not to repeat it again , and not wander aimlessly, feeling bad about yourself. No matter how bad a single event is, you can still make amends about it , instead of drowning in your own helplessness. That, as you might think already, is of no use or help to anybody, especially not you.
If it’s hard for you to reach or agree with such conclusions, maybe the use of psychotherapeutic care will be of service to you. Therapist nowadays are trained in treating low self-esteem, through various methods that were developed particularly for that purpose. A therapist can help treat your issues with ease you hadn’t even expected, and it’s crucial that you listen to your therapist when he attempts to treat your condition. If you consider your case a more mild one ,you might try motivational literature, but that has its hidden traps, as you won’t always be capable of feeling good about yourself, unless you believe the book completely.
Whichever way you choose, be sure not to blame yourself about things that never depended on you – that is a crucial mistake.