Are You A Doer Or A Talker?

Four steps to help you get past the roadblocks in your life.

By Beate Chelette

A few weeks ago I got busted by one of my own coaching clients for being out of balance. I have a particular system that I use to help my clients create the life and business of their dreams. We pinpoint what they need in their personal lives and career and then we put these ideas into effect and little by little, they move forward. And all the while I emphasize how vital it is to maintain a healthy work-life balance because it can affect everything, our health, attitude, family, our social obligations and finances.

So there I was, doing all this for my clients, and a 13-day migraine hit me. One of my clients noticed and said, are you just telling me to find balance or are you actually doing it yourself? Because if you do, then why are you feeling this way? Wow, that was spot on. Direct and right on target!

In my typical way of focusing on the positive, ignoring the bad and pushing through rough patches, I must have overlooked the self-care and my own life balance that I so readily encourage others to pay attention to. As leaders and teachers we have two choices: we either do it or we talk about it. We are either authentic because we truly believe in it and it’s part of our reality, or we are pretenders who buy into the latest fad but can’t make it work for ourselves. Needless to say, the latter category just doesn’t sound good, does it?

A word about roadblocks

When hitting a roadblock, especially if it is head-on like in my case, this is a clear indication to stop and change something. By day ten of my migraine, it was clear that I had to examine what was going on in my world that created this problem. I literally couldn’t think straight and things came to a halt. I had to just “be.” As much as I can’t stand having something stop my inner energizer bunny, the message was loud and clear. I had to slow down and listen.

If you are facing a roadblock right now, can you figure out what the underlying issue is? Try removing yourself and looking at the situation from the outside. What is the message? What are you not paying attention to? Is there enough self-care like breathing, rest, sleep, and eating right—and exercising?

Step 1. Get past the roadblock

The next step is to figure out what needs to be done to get you past the roadblock. What lifestyle change or career move is required? In my case, I had to change my physical exercise routine, pay more attention to my posture when I sit at my desk, stand and walk, and I stopped working at my computer after a certain number of hours. I also discovered how essential the right office ergonomics are. For the basics, here’s a helpful short video

Step 2. Enlist help

When self-evaluation doesn’t get you over the hump, get help. Sometimes we can’t figure these things out alone, and perhaps it’s time to think outside of your comfort zone. Unless you change something you can’t expect different results from your existing issue. I ended up going to a migraine specialist and started a weekly Pilates class to boost my core strength. Do what you can to help yourself get from A to B.

Step 3. Let it go

Get rid of things that suck up your time and don’t work. What are you holding onto that doesn’t create a good outcome? Is there something in your personal life or business that causes more problems and distractions than it’s worth? What would it take for you to let that go?

Step 4. Just Be

Life is not always about doing and pushing. It’s also about being still and listening. Unless we take time to listen, how can we receive the information that is That must be the hardest thing I have ever come across! We are hardly alone in our struggles. Everyone around us is in a similar boat and trying to find their place. Fighting is good when a fight is what’s needed, but sometimes we just have to be still so we can clear our head. Often this, the simplest of all things to be still seems to be the hardest. “Do” your best every single day even if it’s only for 15 minutes.

Author's Bio: 

Beate Chelette is a respected career coach, consummate entrepreneur and founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private and digital world. Determined to build a community of women helping each other, after selling one of her companies, BeateWorks, to Bill Gates in 2006 for millions of dollars, Beate created The Women’s Code. In February 2012, to reach women everywhere, Beate launched The Women’s Code Online course.