Taking Control of Your Emotions

In the past, people have asked me how to deal with ‘sweating over small stuff’. After talking to them, I decided to share what with you, the insights that I shared with them.

You see, in this day and age, it is so easy to get carried away by the little things that seem to bother us so much - other people's negative opinions, traffic jam, computer problems, unfriendly customer service. I used to be the king when it came to ‘sweating over small stuff.’ In fact, I took it to another level, and I used to ‘sweat, stress and scream over small stuff’.

That all changed when I started to look at ways on overcoming my sweating, screaming, and stressing. About four years ago, I looked at what some of the world’s best personal development experts had to say about this subject matter.

What I found is that most of the time, we attach ourselves to a situation or circumstance to an extent, that we are consumed by the situation or circumstance.

Take for example, a common scenario – you are driving in morning peak hour traffic, and someone cuts you off! In most cases, this would result in anger, frustration, or bitterness. That is what I used to experience anyway!

Now, let’s break this down. What caused you to feel the anger, frustration, or bitterness? The event caused you to feel angry, frustrated, or bitter. What caused the event? It is the driver of the other car, who caused this event to happen.

The thing to realise here is this, you do not have any control over what the driver of the other car did! Hence, you do not have any control over the event that happened.
What you do have absolute control over is how you accept this event! That is the key, when it comes to avoiding ‘sweating over small stuff’.

The event has caused you to have these negative feelings.
What would you say to me if I told you “You are not the event, and the event is not you!”

The way you accept the event will ultimately have a bearing on the feelings that you have during the event and after the event.

Detaching yourself from the situation or event is one of the ways to avoid ‘sweating over small stuff’. When you detach yourself from the event (because you are not the event, and the event is not you), you accept that the event was not caused by you, hence you have no control over it.

I am not saying that you should not exercise any caution, and simply detach yourself from everything that could affect you. If the driver of the other car was about to hit your car, you would be wise to exercise caution, and avoid a car crash.

All I am saying is that you are ultimately responsible for how you allow the event or situation to make you feel!
If you ask yourself “I am not this event, and this event is not me. So, why should I have negative feelings towards it?” Then you are very likely not to get caught up in the event, and get consumed by it!

I have shared this message with CEO’s that I have done Executive Coaching with, and with University students that I have done Life Coaching with! It applies to everyone and anyone.

To sum it up, you have the power to make decisions which affect the way that you feel. Make those decisions wisely!
After reading this article, please ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I normally ‘sweat over small stuff’?
• How can I detach myself from situations or events which make me ‘sweat over small stuff’?
• How will it serve me if I did not ‘sweat over small stuff’?

To your goals & beyond,
Ronny K. Prasad