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Articles from Margaret Paul | Selfgrowth.com
- ***Addiction to Spirituality: The Spiritual Bypass - by Submitted on May 16, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Dr. Margaret Paul May 16, 2016 Are you using your spirituality as a "spiritual bypass" to avoid feeling your feelings and taking responsibility for them? Lian had been meditating for many years before consulting with me for his depression. He had been part of a spiritual community ...
Views: 1180 - ***"If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!" - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2015 from Margaret PaulIs your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person? One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship ...
Views: 1179(1 vote) - ***Do You Know How To Love? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Love is not something that can be described – it needs to be experienced, and when you experience it through loving yourself, you will know how to love. ________________________________________ We read many things about what love is and what it isn't ...
Views: 1178(1 vote) - ***Why Have Animals In Your Life - by Submitted on May 15, 2015 from Margaret PaulDiscover the many good reasons for having animals in your life. “Until a person has loved an animal a part of the soul remains unawakened." ~Anatole France People who love animals know that there are many very good reasons to have animals in your life. Love and Presence Animals who ...
Views: 1174 - ***Staying Centered in Conflict - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this. ________________________________________ Angela writes: "I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going ...
Views: 1169 - ***Is My Need For Attention Reasonable or Needy? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Margaret PaulHave you ever wondered if your desire to share time with a partner is coming from need or neediness? Sometimes it's a challenge to know what are reasonable relationship needs and when we are being needy. Klarese is asking this important question: "I am currently dating a wonderful ...
Views: 1168 - ***Loving Yourself - by Submitted on May 07, 2015 from Margaret PaulAre you asking your higher self for the loving action and not receiving answers? Ernie was having trouble accessing his higher self. He wanted to know about the loving action toward himself, but he couldn't seem to receive any answers. Because his inner child often felt abandoned and unloved ...
Views: 1167 - ***Healing the Mother Wound - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2015 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have a mother wound that plagues you in your life and your relationships? ________________________________________ Many of us have a deep and painful mother wound from not receiving the nurturing we needed. Without adequate healing, this ...
Views: 1166 - ***Are You Addicted to the Internet? - by Submitted on Nov 01, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you get addictively stuck on the Internet and can't seem to find your way out? ________________________________________ Our society provides many ways we can avoid our feelings addictively. Many people today are addicted to being on the Internet ...
Views: 1163 - ***How to Attract a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2015 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you keep attracting narcissistic or emotionally unavailable partners? You CAN learn to attract a healthy partner! ________________________________________ Have you found yourself continually attracting the same kind of unhealthy person into your ...
Views: 1163 - ***I Fall Too Hard In Love - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you find yourself getting hurt over and over in relationships? Discover why. ________________________________________ Do you find yourself falling hard for someone and then ending up feeling rejected and not good enough when it ends? This is the ...
Views: 1160 - ***Single? What Are Your False Beliefs About Relationships? - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ If you are single, do you relate to any of these false beliefs about being in a relationship? ________________________________________ I have discovered that many of the single people I work with have a number of false beliefs about relationships. If ...
Views: 1158 - ***"How Can I Manage Overwhelm?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often feel overwhelmed with demands, tasks and life in general? ________________________________________ Most of us lead very busy lives and it is easy to become overwhelmed with all we need to do. In addition, about 15% to 20% of us are born ...
Views: 1153 - ***Are You Playing Too Small? - by Submitted on May 16, 2014 from Margaret PaulAre you limiting your life – allowing fear to stop you from doing what brings you joy? "There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." ~Nelson Mandela Do you feel passionate about your ...
Views: 1150 - ***Loving Yourself As An Introvert in Groups - by Submitted on Nov 29, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD November 28, 2016 Do you often feel out of place and like an alien in some groups? Discover how to love yourself in group situations. "She's very shy," my parents used to say to people when I was quiet. From their tone, I thought it wasn't a good thing to be shy. I ...
Views: 1148 - ***Finding The Partner Of My Dreams - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you seeking the formula for attracting the partner of your dreams? Here it is! ________________________________________ Rochelle asks: "If I assess myself quite objectively, if I know my accomplishments as well as my drawbacks, is there a ...
Views: 1146 - ***What Are You Waiting For? - by Submitted on Jan 24, 2014 from Margaret PaulIs there something you've always wanted to do but have never done? What’s stopping you? “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” –Chinese Proverb How often do you say to yourself, "I wish I had…..?" ...
Views: 1145 - ***The Aftermath of a Relationship with a Narcissist - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul Ph.D. February 22, 2016 Have you been in love with a narcissist? Are you now going through pain and confusion as a result of the relationship ending? Have you been in a relationship with a narcissist? Many people are very vulnerable to getting into a relationship with a ...
Views: 1142 - ***Are You a Real Friend? - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend – both with yourself and with others? ________________________________________ "A real friend is one who helps us to think our noblest thoughts, put forth our best efforts, and be our best selves." ...
Views: 1140 - ***Learning to Love Your Sacred Being - by Submitted on May 01, 2015 from Margaret PaulDo you know who you are in your essence? If you knew that your core Self, your essence, was a sacred being, an individualized expression of Spirit, would you treat yourself differently than you currently do? There is a wonderful story about a king who went into a downtrodden village, a ...
Views: 1140 - ***"I Lose My Cool In Relationships." - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you find that as soon as you really like someone – whether as a friend or as a partner – you 'lose your cool?' ________________________________________ Relationships offer us more opportunities for personal growth than just about anything else in ...
Views: 1138 - ***When You Are Being Nice, Are You Loving Or Controlling? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. March 21, 2016 ________________________________________ There can be a big difference in intent between being nice and being loving. Being nice might be manipulative, while being loving means being authentic. ________________________________________ Our ...
Views: 1136 - ***"How Can I Get Him To Stop Hurting Me?" - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of the system you have created with your partner that may be causing you pain? ________________________________________ I have worked with couples for 44 years, and one thing I can tell you for sure: relationships are a system, and each ...
Views: 1132 - ***Do You Define Your Adequacy By Looks and/or Performance? - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ What was valued and approved of in your family as you were growing up? ________________________________________ When you were growing up, how did you learn to define your worth? Here are some of the things my clients have said to me: • In my ...
Views: 1128 - ***Healing a 'Fix Others' Addiction - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Margaret PaulAre you addicted to fixing others? Do you believe this is loving rather than controlling? Many of us were raised to base our identity on helping or fixing others. Fixing others is often the addiction of choice for people who have a naturally deep level of empathy and who easily feel ...
Views: 1124(2 votes) - *** Succeeding Through Failure - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2013 from Margaret Paul"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. --Michael Jordan, Former Professional Basketball Player and ...
Views: 1120 - *** Avoiding Emotional Pain Causes Emotional Pain - by Submitted on May 30, 2016 from Margaret PaulWe all learned many ways of avoiding pain as we were growing up, but what once seemed to protect us against pain is now actually causing our pain. We all had to learn many ways of avoiding emotional pain as we were growing up, because we could not have survived the pain of childhood ...
Views: 1117 - ***Shyness - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you shy? Is your shyness getting in the way of your connection with others? ________________________________________ Have you struggled with being a shy person? Lily asks: "I try hard to overcome my shyness and reluctance to stand out, speak ...
Views: 1117 - ***What Prevents You From Loving Yourself? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Margaret PaulIn your daily life, are you guided by fear or by love? What are the fears that block being loving to yourself and others? How often is the question, "What is loving to myself and others - what is in my highest good and the highest good of another?" the question that guides your actions? Is ...
Views: 1113 - ***Is Unconditional Love Realistic? - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner? Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and ...
Views: 1112 - Loving Yourself When Your Partner Shuts You Out - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2017 from Margaret PaulWhat do you do when your partner shuts you out? Do you know that being shut out and stonewalled is even more hurtful than being yelled at? Children would rather get yelled at or even hit than ignored. This is why the worst punishment for prisoners is solitary confinement. Yet, along with ...
Views: 1110 - ***Does Controlling Others Make You Feel Happy? - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2013 from Margaret PaulAre you aware of the feelings you cause yourself when you attempt to control others rather than love yourself? "I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others." - Thomas ...
Views: 1104 - ***Why Do I Attach To An Unavailable Person?" - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2015 from Margaret PaulAre you addicted to trying to get love from unavailable, unloving people? Have you found yourself repeatedly 'falling in love' with an unavailable person? Have you wondered why you keep doing this? This is the question Wanda asked: "What about our wounded self causes us to attach so ...
Views: 1102(1 vote) - ***From Atheist To The Joy of Divine Grace - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. February 15, 2016 _______________________________________________________________________________ The state of Divine Grace is a most wonderful experience, and it's available to all of us – even if you are an atheist. ...
Views: 1101 - ***Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2014 from Margaret PaulIf you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief. Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it's likely in ...
Views: 1098 - ***Friendship: Connection or Neediness? - by Submitted on May 02, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you have problems having truly connected friendships? Friendship is a big topic. There are people who always seem to have many friends, and others who can't seem to find the way to make friends. Some people have deeply connected friendships, and others have only superficial ...
Views: 1097 - ***Do You Believe You Are Worthy of Love? - by Submitted on May 23, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you sometimes find yourself resisting receiving love because you believe you don't deserve it? Have you ever heard yourself say, "I'm not worthy of love," or "I'm not worth loving," or "I'm unworthy of God's love"? I frequently hear this from my ...
Views: 1095 - ***Why Can't I Commit? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you have problems committing to a relationship, or are you involved with someone who has a fear of commitment? Louis wrote to me: "I have been dating an amazing girl, but recently ended it because I am not sure if she is good for me. Our relationship has ...
Views: 1094 - Moved to Tears and Loving Acts by Witnessing Kindness - by Submitted on May 21, 2018 from Margaret PaulLearn about the feeling of ‘elevation’ and why you might be moved to tears and benevolence by witnessing acts of kindness. Have you ever been moved to tears by acts of kindness? This happens to me all the time and I’ve often wondered about it. I recently read an article by Daniel Burke, ...
Views: 1092(1 vote) - ***Intimacy With Others Starts From Within - by Submitted on Nov 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you wondered why you may be having a hard time connecting with others? "Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself." - Thomas ...
Views: 1090 - ***Relationships: When To Let Go and Move On - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you staying in an abusive relationship because you believe you can change it or not be bothered by it? ________________________________________ The question of when to leave a relationship comes up over and over with my clients and with the ...
Views: 1087 - *** Over-Talking: The Need to Talk Too Much - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2014 from Margaret PaulAre you aware of needing to talk too much, or have you been with people who go on and on? There is a good reason for this. I have found over the years of practicing Inner Bonding that the more I listen to myself, the less need I have for others to listen to me and hear me. Not that ...
Views: 1084 - ***Where Kindness Comes From - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you allow your natural kindness to shine forth? "Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we ...
Views: 1079 - ***Can You Emotionally Connect With Your Family Of Origin? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD October 31, 2016 Do you have major challenges in emotionally connecting with your family of origin? You are not alone! Are you happy with your family of origin? Can you emotionally connect with your family? If you can, you are fortunate indeed. Many people feel ...
Views: 1078(1 vote) - ***Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship? ________________________________________ Are you committed to working through the difficult and painful ...
Views: 1078 - ***Resisting Happiness - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2015 from Margaret PaulAre you stuck in misery? Do you resist taking responsibility for making yourself happy? Discover a possible cause of this. One of the issues I frequently encounter with my clients is the following: Sasha is in a long-term, on-again, off-again, relationship with Fabio. When Sasha is taking ...
Views: 1078(1 vote) - ***Loving Yourself When Being Blamed - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2017 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD February 20, 2017 Discover how loving it is to yourself to understand the amazing difference between blame and responsibility. Growing up, most of us had numerous experiences of being blamed. I was frequently blamed for things that I was too young to understand, ...
Views: 1076 - Help! I don’t Want To Be Like My Family! - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2018 from Margaret PaulAlexia asked: “My mother and my grandmother and most of the people I learned life from, never loved themselves. I know I don't want to be like them but the reality is I am! I have changed but not as much as I want. Can you please teach me how to fix this suffering from my wounded self?” I ...
Views: 1076 - ***Trusting Others Starts With Self-Trust - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2015 from Margaret Paul_______________________________________________________ We want to be able to trust others to be honest and reliable. Yet are you honest and reliable with yourself? Do you trust your own inner knowing? You will not be able to trust others until you are trustworthy with ...
Views: 1071 - ***How Can I Get My Partner To Change? - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2015 from Margaret PaulDiscover the things you might need to change in yourself in order to have a chance at creating change in your partner and in your relationship. ________________________________________ How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - ...
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