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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Discrimination: Is Discrimination Good Or Bad? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to hear about someone who is being treated unfairly, they could end up feeling angry about what is taking place. This could relate to someone who, because of their gender, was turned down from a job. Alternatively, this person may have read the job description and found out that ...
Views: 1198 - Disembodied: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That It’s ‘All About The Mind’? - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was traumatised on a weekly, if not daily, basis during their early years, there is a strong chance that they will be in a bad way now that they are an adult. Still, although what took place at this stage of their life will have had a big effect on them, it doesn’t mean that they will ...
Views: 435 - Disembodied: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Live On The Surface Of Themselves? - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperFrom the outside, someone can look whole, but that doesn’t mean that they are actually whole on the inside. This is not to say that they will be missing certain organs; it means that they might not be an integrated human being. If another person was to get to know them, they may soon realise ...
Views: 556 - Disembodied: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be Disembodied? - by Submitted on Dec 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to live in their head and to have a weak connection with their body. In fact, this part of them can be seen as simply being there to support their head. By having the tendency to live in this way, it can mostly be as though they are nothing more than an ...
Views: 283 - Disembodied: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Disconnect From Themselves? - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperFor someone to be able to take life in, to receive, they will need to be able to inhabit their body. This will allow them to be in the part of their being that truly experiences life as opposed to the part that simply observes it. To use an analogy: it will be the difference between someone ...
Views: 299 - Disempowered: Can A Man Be In A Disempowered State If He Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat could be normal for a man is for him to feel powerless and helpless, and this can mean that he will often feel low and even depressed. What will be clear from this is that he will rarely if ever feel strong and powerful. As a result of this, he is likely to lead a life that is anything ...
Views: 382 - Disgust: Can Someone Carry A Lot Of Disgust If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what might end up standing out is that they often experience a sense of disgust. When this takes place, they will be around something or someone that causes them to be repulsed and they could even feel sick. This will then be a ...
Views: 416 - Disrespect: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Have A Low Tolerance For Disrespect? - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone is shown respect, they are likely to respond in a certain way, whereas, if they are not respected, they are likely to respond in another way. However, this is not to say that everyone feels they deserve the same level of respect. But when someone doesn’t get the level of respect ...
Views: 1841 - Do Other People Make Us Feel Stressed? - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperEarlier on, whilst I was out in a populated area, I overheard someone say to another person that they “stressed them out”. I had no idea why they said this to them, but there must have been a reason for it. It would be easy to conclude that the other person was behaving in a way that was ...
Views: 1108 - Do Our Feelings Create Our Reality? - by Submitted on May 20, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf you feel good, you could believe that it is due to what is taking place externally. Likewise, if you feel bad, you could also believe that it is due to what is taking place externally. In both cases, you won’t have played a part in how you feel, and you will be nothing more than a passive ...
Views: 702 - Do The Things That Empower You - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperJust as someone can need to eat certain things to function at their best, they can also need to do certain things to be able to feel empowered. As a result of this, if they don’t do certain things, they won’t be able to feel strong and alive. However, if someone has felt disempowered for a ...
Views: 717 - Do You Believe That You Need To Hide Your True-Self In Order To Survive? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperYou may find that when you are around others, you don’t always show up. In fact, this could be something that more or less always takes place when you spend time with others. This could be how you have been for as long as you can remember. If you have only just started to become aware of ...
Views: 708 - Do You End Up With People Who Are You Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperI was thinking the other day about how common it is for people to end up in a relationship with someone who is not available. This is something that usually causes them to experience a lot of pain. To go through this once is more than enough, but there are people who have experienced this ...
Views: 1029 - Do You Feel As Though You Are Never Ready? - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperI have recently been reading ‘The Feeling Child’ by Dr Arthur Janov, and there have been a number of things that have caught my attention. This is a fairly old book but it is still full of powerful content. Based on the research that I have done over the years, I would say there are ...
Views: 837 - Do You Feel Stuck? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperPerhaps, after not being in a good way for a little while or quite some time, you ended up reaching out for external support. Yet, although your intention was to change your life, you may find that this hasn’t really taken place. You may have read a number of books and even had a few ...
Views: 685 - Do You Find It Hard to Handle Setbacks? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf you were to look back on your life, you may find that it hasn’t been easy for you to handle setbacks. It might not matter if it has related to a big or a small setback, as you could have a very similar experience. At the same time, perhaps you have just experienced a setback and don’t need ...
Views: 670 - Do You Have The Need To Perfect? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone is a perfectly imperfect human being, it doesn’t mean that they won’t believe that they have to be more-than human. What this can result in is the need to be perfect and to never make a mistake. Through being this way, one can experience an extreme amount of pressure ...
Views: 854 - Do You Need A Healing Mentor? - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperDuring the beginning of my healing journey, in 2003, it was like I was walking around in the dark. I had no idea about what was going on and I also had no idea about how I was going to change my life. One of the first things that I did, in order to try to understand what was going on, was to ...
Views: 798 - Do You Need To Forgive Yourself? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperA lot is said about how important it is to forgive another but, in comparison, very little is said about how important it is to forgive oneself. It could be said that one reason for this is that if someone blames another, it will be easy to spot; whereas if they blame themselves, this won’t be ...
Views: 461 - Do You Put Up With Bad Service? - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperThe time had come for me to see my friend Wain again, and I was looking forward to telling him about my time in Stockholm, Sweden. But, I knew that this wouldn’t be a time when we would simply talk about what we had been up to. I knew that we wouldn’t talk about ‘normal’ things, and this ...
Views: 1172 - Do You Want To Become More Grounded? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperA number of years ago I was thinking about trying Tai Chi, yet I didn’t end up taking the next step. Since that time, there have been moments when it has crossed my mind, and a little while ago, I spoke to someone who did Qigong. They told me that it was good for grounding, amongst others ...
Views: 939 - Do You Want To Understand Yourself Or To Simply Feel Better? - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is in a position where they experience a fair amount of anxiety or don’t feel good about themselves, they can go one of two ways. Either they can look for a way to change how they feel or they can look into why they experience life in this way and what they can do once they have found ...
Views: 755 - Do Your Emotions Control You Or Are You Emotionally Disconnected? - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, it is a challenge for them to handle how they feel. As a result of this, it can be normal for someone like this to be overwhelmed by their emotional self and to lose their ability to think clearly. This could be how they have been for as long as they can remember. If this is ...
Views: 747 - Do Your Friends Use You As A Free Therapist? - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA number of weeks ago I was talking to someone who was used to having people talk to them about their problems. It was easy to see why this was as they were a good listener, had a lot of empathy, and there was a gentleness to them. Due to this, it would have been strange if this person ...
Views: 845 - Does Someone’s Past Life Define What Family They Will Incarnate Into? - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to the family that someone was born into, it can seem as though this was completely random. As a result of this, if they were born into a family that was generally loving and supportive, they were lucky and if they weren’t, they would have been unlucky. Furthermore, if they can ...
Views: 323 - Does The Film 'Venom' Show What Happens When Someone Has A Healthy Relationship With Their Aggression? - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA few months ago a friend of mine said that he had watched Venom and that it was a good film. I ended up watching the film with another friend and I thought that it wasn’t too bad. Shortly after I had watched it I thought that it seemed to lack something, as I found it hard to really connect ...
Views: 834 - Does The Film ‘Ingrid Goes West’ Show What Can Happen When Someone Feels Worthless? - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA little while ago a friend mentioned a few films and as he was going through them, he said that one of them sounded good. This was a film called ‘Ingrid Goes West’, with this being the film that we ended up watching. Overall, I thought it was a very interesting and entertaining film; one of ...
Views: 836 - Does The Film ‘Joker’ Show What Can Happen If Someone Was Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA few days ago I had the chance to watch ‘Joker’ and I must say that this was an intense film. I thought the story was solid, the acting was stupendous, and the score worked nicely too. Unlike so many of the other superhero films, this was very lifelike. I would even go as far as to say that ...
Views: 900 - Does The Film ‘Night School’ Show How Destructive Shame Can Be? - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperThe other night, whilst I was at a friend’s, I ended up watching a film called ‘Night School’. This is a film with Kevin Hart in and, like most, if not all, of his films, it is a comedy. At the beginning I thought that the film was a bit stupid, but as time went by, I gradually got into ...
Views: 868 - Does The Past Only Exist In Our Head? - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA few days ago, I came across a quote that had been placed on a picture, and this was a quote that had received a lot of positive feedback on a social media site. The ‘law of attraction’ was also mentioned underneath it. Part of this quote basically said that the past only exists in our ...
Views: 737 - Don't Do Anything For Recognition! - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperAbout a month ago, I had a call from a publisher that was trying to sell me some kind of publishing package. This was a publisher that had contacted me a number of times in the past and, each time this took place, I made it clear that I was not willing to go down this route. After I spoke ...
Views: 978 - Donald Trump: Are Trump Supporters Idiots? - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone pays attention to the mainstream media, they are likely to have heard a lot about both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. And while this could be due to the living in America, this might not be the case. What this shows is how much attention the presidential debate in America is ...
Views: 1446 - Don’t Compare Yourself With Others - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone wanted to find out how well they are doing in life, they could end up looking around them. One is then going to compare themselves with the people they are close to, along with the people who they know. Alternatively, one could think about the people in their life who are around ...
Views: 880 - Don’t Make Another Person The Centre Of Your World - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was reading the book, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’, there was a chapter that went into how important it was to have many different areas of interest in life, and not to put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak. The author, Susan Jeffers, pointed out that a lot of people make their ...
Views: 959 - Don’t Put Women On A Pedestal! - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhile I was out the other day I saw a woman who was wearing a fair amount of makeup, and seeing this woman had quite a big effect on me. But, even though part of me was responding to what I had seen, another part of me thought about how strange this all was. For one thing, I didn’t know ...
Views: 1173 - Don’t Try To Save Or Rescue Anyone! - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperBefore I went on a Hoffman process introduction day, there was a moment when I had this sense that we would all be told not to try to rescue or save anyone during the day. I ended up putting this insight to one side. After I had been at this introduction day for about an hour or so, one of ...
Views: 1078 - Don’t Waste Your Time Tearing People Down! - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that social media has given people is somewhere where they can share their thoughts on just about anything. For some people, this is somewhere where they can tear other people down. Someone like this can pull another person down and they won’t need to worry about getting into ...
Views: 752 - Drama: Are Some People Addicted To Drama? - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperThere are people in the world that almost always have something taking place that prevents them from living a peaceful and harmonious existence. For these people, their life can have a lot in common with a soap opera. Now, unlike soap operas, these people might not have people in their life ...
Views: 682 - Drama: Why Are Some People Addicted To Drama? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word 'Drama' is commonly heard and used in today's world. This could be to describe something on TV or in a film. It can also describe what is going on in one's life or the life of another person. Dictionary Meaning And on the dictionary.com website drama is described as: 1. a ...
Views: 8876 - Drive: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be Extremely Driven? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is highly motivated, there is a strong chance that they will be used to receiving a lot of positive feedback from others. They can often be seen as living in the right way and even having high self-esteem. The reason for this is that in today’s world, being motivated is often seen ...
Views: 254 - Drive: Can Someone Unknowingly Be Driven By Their Unmet Developmental Need To Be Loved? - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world, if someone is highly driven, they can be seen as having high self-esteem and as an example of how to live. They are then going to have it together and be a well-adjusted human being. Thanks to how driven they are, they might have made a lot of progress in at least one area ...
Views: 295 - Drive: Can Someone’s Unmet Childhood Needs Cause Them To Be Extremely Driven? - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperPractically from the moment that someone wakes up, they could feel the need to ‘get things done’. As a result of this, they are not going to have much time to sit around and to just be; doing so can be seen as a waste of time. Not only this if they were to take a break, they could soon end up ...
Views: 291 - Dysfunctional Environments: What is A Dysfunctional Environment? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to describing a Dysfunctional Environment, it might help us to also look at what a functional environment might look like. Functional Environment A functional environment then; would be an area that is conducive to growth. Somewhere that not only supports and encourages an ...
Views: 7216 - Dysfunctional Love: What Is Dysfunctional Love? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt is clear to see that in the world we live in, what is often classed as love is anything but love and could be classed as dysfunctional and in some cases abusive. So this is going to be my perspectives on some of the things that are not love. We come to understand what something is, by ...
Views: 5742 - Dysfunctional Relationships: Why Do We Attract Them? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI think to one degree or another, if we are not currently in one, we have all been in a relationship that is dysfunctional or abusive. So here, I am going to give my current understanding, based on my experiences and observations, of why I think they exist and what is going on at a deeper ...
Views: 6483 - Early Attachment: What Can Happen If Someone Was Unable To Attach To Their Parents? - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAfter someone was born, it simply wasn’t possible for them to break away from their mother after a number of weeks had passed and to live their own life. Unlike a rabbit, for instance, they needed to be able to attach to their mother, receive the right attunement and love and gradually develop a ...
Views: 228 - Early Deprivation: Are Attachment Problems Passed Down From One Generation To Another? - by Submitted on May 03, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone wasn’t able to connect to and form a strong connection with their primary caregiver during their early years, who is likely to have been their mother, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. But, even if this is the case, what took place will have had a big impact on them then ...
Views: 204 - Early Deprivation: Can A Goal Be Another Way For Someone To Struggle For Love? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2025 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is feeling low and is even depressed, they might believe that they need a goal to work toward. Then again, they could talk to a trusted friend or family member about how they feel, and this is what they could be told. Assuming that the latter takes place, this can be seen as a way ...
Views: 23 - Early Deprivation: Can A Man Be Emotionally Dependent On A Woman If His Mother Was Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2025 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man doesn’t have a woman in his life that he is seeing or in a relationship with, he may feel as though he is missing something. As a result of this, he can feel a strong need to be with a woman. He can believe, for instance, that he is meant to be with a woman, and this is why he ...
Views: 8 - Early Deprivation: Can A Man Be Out Of Touch With His Sensitive Side If He Was Abused During His Early Years? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperBased on how a man typically comes across, it can be as if he only has a masculine aspect. In other words, he can come across as emotionless, hard and as though nothing fazes him. And, if he was to come across a man who is emotionally expressive and sensitive, he could criticise him. This ...
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