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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Expectations: Do Our Expectations Create Our Experiences? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn a previous article that I write on expectations, I looked at where our expectations come from. And here I want to take a closer look at how expectations are influencing our day to day life. Expectations can become part of one’s nature and how they see life or they can be expectations that ...
Views: 1954 - Meaning: Where Does Our Meaning Come From? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhat is classed as meaningful can vary from person to person. It is not something that is set in stone or fixed. The meaning that one has in life can change as one grows older and has different experiences. The countries and cultures of the world can have meanings that are vastly different to ...
Views: 1866 - Interviews With Successful People - Raphael Yadgaroff - Krav Maga Instructor - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperKrav Maga was something I had only heard about recently, when a friend of mine mentioned that he knew someone who taught it. My friend put me in touch with this guy, Raphael Yadgaroff, and we soon arranged a time to conduct an interview. One of the primary things that interests me about ...
Views: 2597 - Relationships: Why Do Some Men Need A Women’s Approval? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhile a certain amount of approval seeking is part of relationships; when it is out of control and taken to the extreme, it can create dysfunctional consequences and unnecessary pain. And when this happens, a man’s mental and emotional wellbeing is going to suffer. However, in order for a man ...
Views: 11945 - Problems Or Challenges: What’s The Difference? - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThese are two words that can be used to describe an occurrence or situation. One person may use the world problem and another could use the word challenge. And this is even though they are both in the same position or looking at the same thing. Meaning On Google.com the word problem is ...
Views: 1941 - Confidence: What Is Confidence? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word confidence is a term that is often hard to define. What is it and what does it look like? Are questions that can be asked. Through the act of comparison, one can see that there is a difference between people that are confident and people that are not confident. Many years ago I was ...
Views: 2280 - Enmeshment: What Is Enmeshment? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word enmeshment is often used in the world of psychology, therapy and in every day relationships. These could be with family, friends and with intimate relationships. On the en.wiktionary.org website, enmeshment is described as: The state of being enmeshed; entanglement. And if something ...
Views: 7482 - Approval: Why Do Some People Need Approval? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo gain the approval from others is the ultimate achievement for some people. It’s as if this is the primary purpose that they have on this earth. And should they actually achieve this; their life will then be complete. This will mean that this person’s focus is more or less external. I say ...
Views: 5605 - Interviews With Successful People - Darren Tate - International Record Producer and DJ - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the first dance songs I ever heard was 'It's My Turn' by Angelic. The artist, however, was a pseudonym for two people: Amanda O'Riordan (Judge Jules's wife) and someone I came to know as Darren Tate. Over the following years, I continued to hear many of Darren's songs, and these were ...
Views: 3041 - Interpretations: Do Our Interpretations Create Our Experience Of Life? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne can often watch a film with an ending that is unclear and come up with an interpretation that is completely different to another person. Or perhaps there is a cloud in the sky; one sees it to be a certain shape and another person sees another shape or cannot see this shape at all. Then ...
Views: 1949 - Bullying: Why Do Some People Bully Others? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn one form or another and under one name of another; bullying has been around for a very long time. And it is not limited to a specific environment and neither is it only experienced by a certain type of person. Human beings of all backgrounds can come face to face with this type of ...
Views: 2220 - The Media: Creating The Illusion Of Perfection - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbusive behaviour can include all that makes one feel compromised, undermined and taken advantage of. It can be in the relationships one has with: friends, family, colleagues and in intimate relationships. The type of environment it is, or whether one is male or female, the race or the ...
Views: 2126 - Abusive Behaviour: Why Do People Put Up With Abusive Behaviour? - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbusive behaviour can include all that makes one feel compromised, undermined and taken advantage of. It can be in the relationships one has with: friends, family, colleagues and in intimate relationships. The type of environment it is, or whether one is male or female, the race or the ...
Views: 2605 - Creativity: Is Creativity A Mental Illness? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI recently came across a link that was called - 'creativity 'closely entwined with mental illness'. This was from the bbc website about a recent study that has connected creativity with mental health problems. The link can be found on the bbc website. And after reading all that was said, I ...
Views: 2322(1 vote) - Greatness: Do Only Some People Have Greatness? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are both general and specific ideas and opinions around what greatness is. And what will form these ideas and opinions will be influenced by the age that one lives in, the society they are raised in and what one values themselves. This can range from the current societal models, such ...
Views: 2347 - Purpose: Do Only Some People Have A Purpose? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people in this world, doing what they love is a normal part of life. And for others this is nothing more than an idea that sounds good and is far from there day to day experience. To do what ones loves and enjoys might have not even been considered by this person. Life can be seen as ...
Views: 2140 - Expectations: Where Do Our Expectations Come From? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how one experiences life, expectations play an incredibly important role. Not only are they influencing how one perceives every part of life, they’re also affecting ones emotional and mental well being. This means that what one attracts into their life and what one sees in ...
Views: 5403 - Emotional Healing: Why Don't Some People Heal? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to healing or moving on from the past; some people progress a lot faster than others. There are also other situations where some people are perpetually caught up in their past and feel as if nothing is changing. Now, the past that one has had and the pain and trauma that may ...
Views: 2283 - Relationships: What Is A Relationship Triangle? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to a relationship there are typically two people involved. And what goes on in this relationship is primarily between these two individuals. This could be between: lovers, friends, colleagues or family. And this relationship it is almost certain to lead to moments or stories ...
Views: 2446 - Interviews With Successful People - Jack Magee - Lightweight Shock N Awe British Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperLast year I heard about a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter known as Jack Magee that lived in the area and was intrigued to hear more about this man and his sport. Starting the column Interviews with successful people provided the perfect outlet for me to be able to make contact with Mr Magee and ...
Views: 2318 - Emotional Acceptance: Why Is It Difficult To Accept Our Emotions? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperEmotions can be pleasurable or they can be painful and being human means that we have the potential to experience the full spectrum of emotions. I say potential, because there are ways that we can stop them from appearing. Pleasure and pain is something we are all familiar with and this ...
Views: 2491 - Associations: Do Our Associations Create Our Reality? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAssociations have incredible power and they are occurring in many areas of life. Ones relationships with: family, friends, lovers and professional relationships are all being affected by associations. As well as ones experience with the world and to material things. Brands rely heavily on the ...
Views: 2266 - Self Abuse: What Is Self Abuse? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbuse is usually something that starts of as external in nature. This means that one is abused through the people around them and this could be limited to one environment or it could happen in a number of environments. The type of abuse that I am talking about here is the abuse that goes in ...
Views: 2368 - Interviews With Successful People - Mark Simmons - Taekwondo Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor many years, I have seen the dedication and the passion that Mark Simmons has towards taekwondo, I remember having a conversation with him many years ago and it became clear that this was someone who knew what he wanted to do and where he was going, there was a certainty about him. When I ...
Views: 2474 - Identification: What Is Your Ego Identified With? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are two types of identification that can come to mind when this word is heard. Number One The first is known as a defence mechanism and occurs when one appreciates or values the behaviour of another person. And from that moment, one chooses to follow or express through their ...
Views: 2998 - Needs: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Get Their Needs Met? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperNeeds are something each and every one of us have; they are part of the human experience. And although this may be the case, it doesn’t mean that they will always be fulfilled. At times, one will have to go without having their needs met. This may not be a problem for some and this could be ...
Views: 2012 - Emotional Eating: What Is Emotional Eating? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn Today’s world there is an intense focus on what we eat and on the importance of exercise. If one eats the right foods and eats them at the right time, along with the right amount of exercise; then one is likely to end up in physical shape. Now, for some this may work and for others this will ...
Views: 2102 - Defence Mechanism: Displacement - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThis is a defence mechanism that is no different to any other, in that it allows the ego mind to ensure its own survival. If there is a situation where the ego mind perceives that it is unsafe to express an emotion or to behave in a certain way; the ego mind will have to suppress what is ...
Views: 2483 - Attachment: What Causes Attachment Problems? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe term attachment is often used in the area of relationships and to describe what kind of relationship one had with their primary caregiver as a child. This first attachment plays a massive role in our development as a child and in how we are as adults. A General View So here I will give ...
Views: 2452 - Purpose: Is Our Purpose Important? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe purpose that we all have on this earth can change as we change; similarly to how the weather can change. From one moment to the next, what one wants to do and achieve, can alter. And then there are certain dreams and expressions that one has, that never seem to change and always ...
Views: 1763 - Emotional Honesty: What Is Emotional Honesty? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperEmotions are part of being human and this means that they play a vital role in each of our lives This could be to inform one of what is going on in their immediate environment or to do with something that is being triggered from their past for example. However, no matter what their reasons ...
Views: 7320 - The Heart: Why Do Some People Close Their Heart? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to relationships with other human beings and with life itself; the heart has a unique purpose. At an emotional level; the left side (feminine) of the heart allows one to receive and the right side (masculine) of the heart allows one to give. And when one of these sides is out of ...
Views: 4165 - Abuse: From One Generation To Another - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor many years there has been an understanding that child abuse is very often passed from one generation to another. And as to how far back some of these cycles of abuse go is anyone's guess. It is then not surprising for one to be left confused and astounded, at how something so pernicious, ...
Views: 5878(1 vote) - Drama: Why Are Some People Addicted To Drama? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word 'Drama' is commonly heard and used in today's world. This could be to describe something on TV or in a film. It can also describe what is going on in one's life or the life of another person. Dictionary Meaning And on the dictionary.com website drama is described as: 1. a ...
Views: 8857 - Relationships: Why Are Some Men Needy? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many descriptions that can be used when it comes to how one goes about getting their needs met. While some are called needy, others are often called needless. However, no matter how one is described: what is clear is that everyone has needs. To be human means that we have needs. And ...
Views: 10624 - Letting Go: Why Is It Hard To Let Go? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen the term letting go is mentioned, it would be normal to think about physically letting go of something. Just like how one might open their hands and drop something. However, the letting go that I am about to describe here, has more to do with psychologically letting go. This is something ...
Views: 2510 - Interviews With Successful People - Barry Phelan: British And European Tai Chi Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperBarry teaches in Dover, Canterbury and Ramsgate. From september he will be teaching adult education classes in Canterbury and Ashford. Born in Windsor on August 9th 1970: Barry moved to Kent in 1980, he left school in 1987 and studied a City & Guilds in Engineering. He then worked as an ...
Views: 2951 - Self Worth: What Is Self Worth? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many different terms that one can use to describe having value and worth. These can be self esteem, self confidence and self belief for example. And self worth is a phrase that I believe encompasses all of these aspects. Self worth is something that is inherent and based on what is ...
Views: 2315 - Psychological Boundaries: What Are Psychological Boundaries? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word boundary can bring many ideas to mind and this is partly because boundaries can reflect something physical and also something that is not physical or visible to the eye. This could be a wall around a house or marker at the end of a territory for example. And a psychological boundary ...
Views: 5262 - Abused Children: Do Abused Children Need To Forgive Their Parents? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to moving on and letting go of an abusive past, it is not uncommon to hear that one needs to forgive. The act of forgiveness is highly regarded by many people and in numerous schools of thought. Religion has also espoused this outlook from the very beginning. So is it really a ...
Views: 2928 - Prometheus: My Interpretation Of The Metaphors - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the first things that I heard about this film was that it was a prequel to Alien. And after seeing the trailer I was expecting another film to do with the end of the world. I wasn’t expecting too much and I went into the cinema with an open mind. After watching the film for the first ...
Views: 3250 - Fame: Why Do Some People Want To Be Famous? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world fame is not merely seen as a by-product or as a consequence of achieving something; fame is pursued directly and as a goal in and of itself. With there being numerous examples of people who place fame as the ultimate achievement in life and above anything else; it might seem ...
Views: 16226 - Emotionally Needy Parents: What Are Emotionally Needy Parents? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to the psychological development of a child, the needs of the child are of the upmost importance. And not only are they important in the child's journey to becoming a functional adult; as extreme as this sounds, they can also be the difference between whether a child lives or ...
Views: 8657(1 vote) - The Royal Family: Why Are Some People Obsessed With The Royal Family? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOver the ages the purpose of the royal family has changed. Today they are not only an attraction for people from all over the world and for people in Britain: they are also idolised and worshiped by thousands of people. The royal family are the modern day celebrities and this is of course a ...
Views: 5096 - Psychological Validation: What Is Psychological Validation? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes achieving psychological well being; validation plays an incredibly important role. This primarily consists of two aspects: On one side this means that one’s thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviours will be acknowledged and accepted by other human beings; and on the other side ...
Views: 3644 - Emotions: Do Emotions Have A Purpose? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn recent years there has been increased awareness around emotions. Before all of this came about, IQ (Intelligence quotient) was seen as the most important factor in deciding how intelligent someone is and in how there life would play out. This was until EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) ...
Views: 2634 - Abused Children: Why Do Abused Children Deny What Happened? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough the title refers to abused children, this article will primarily look at why some adults, who were abused as children, grow up to deny what happened to them. Individuals that were abused in their childhood by their parents or caregivers often find it hard to look at and admit to what ...
Views: 3754 - Healthy And Unhealthy Guilt: What's The Difference? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are two types of guilt that an individual can experience; one can be classed as healthy and the other as unhealthy. And like all feelings, there is usually a reason when guilt appears. Now, the reason for guilt appearing could be functional and beneficial to one’s life or it could be ...
Views: 6527 - Emotional Needs: Can Another Person Fulfil Our Emotional Needs? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one looks for a relationship, there are emotional needs that one is looking for another person to fulfil within them. These needs can be conscious and known, and they can be unconscious and unknown. And some of these needs will be possible for another person to fulfil and meet and some ...
Views: 2384 - Abusive Parents: Why Do They Deny What Happened? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperParents that are abusive often deny that the abuse has ever taken place. And if it is not denied, then it may even be minimized. Both of these actions can have devastating consequences on the lives of those that were abused. So here I want to take a closer look at why parents deny or minimize ...
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