What-If Fear - Part II

Many people have been unnecessarily conditioned from early development to ask: What if I’m not smart enough, good enough, etc.? So many people have a way of repeatedly telling themselves all of the negative things they ever heard or thought of themselves in the past.

These little gems are usually passed on by our own personal authority figures who inwardly talked the same way to themselves.

Often these authority figures really did not know what they were talking about. So those statements that go on and on in your head - it’s not even necessarily true; just passed on!

The truth is that you are a very powerful, insightful human being who is capable of doing things that amaze even you (remember?).

You have your answers already and you have the ability to love and accept yourself fully. That’s a pretty powerful package.

So what happens when you try something and it appears that you fail? Is it really a failure? Let’s take a look at it this way:

1. You realize that at least you put forth the effort.

2. You may decide to try again; instead of quitting.

3. The experience may teach and motivate you to learn what you need to do to succeed when you try again. Failure is quite often a learning experience that can help lead us to success!

It’s illuminating what you find out about yourself and your situation when you step up, despite all of the negative conditioning and fears. Always look for the good that you can get out of any situation, especially when it seems out of your control – and you’ll find it.

So all of this may be true, but it’s so easy to say. How can you deal with the fear that seems to block creativity, achievement, even motivation?

Remember that so many thoughts in our head happen by our choice, whether we chose them or chose not to pay attention to them. This is the key to changing our thoughts.

We can actually choose thoughts and use them in place of the limiting and restricting thoughts.

For example, when a former repetitive thought may have been; “What if I can’t do this?” Change the thought to: “I can do this.” Try to keep these thoughts in the present tense and keep them positive, without any negative terms.

Do this over and over and guess what? It becomes familiar. Yes it becomes a habit to tell yourself that you’ll figure it out and go for it. Just the “going for it” part is so empowering.

You be the deciding factor. It’s often not enough to say I’ll change my thoughts, and think some positive thoughts for a day or two. Achieving something takes a plan using action that you didn’t use before, those times when you either didn’t try or you didn’t achieve what you wanted.

Here’s an example from personal experience: Years ago, when coming out of the corporate world as a trainer and leader, I decided to go the next step in my life and open my practice as a professional Personal Coach.

I had “what-if” fears but I didn’t let them stop me; it was very important to me and I wanted to give it my best effort. I had mentoring, training, read books and got certified.

But then all I heard was that people had confusion about what a coach is and didn’t understand how this could help them. It was very difficult to get new clients. This could have been a “failure” that I walked away from.

Instead, I worked with a resort spa and the staff as their coach and got loads of invaluable experience. Then, I decided to learn Hypnosis. That would help with change with the unconscious part of the mind/body connection - and more people are familiar with both Hypnosis and the successful results from it.

I marketed the practice as Hypnosis and Coaching.
That worked very well. I have been able to work with many wonderful people over the years with lots of life-changing results happening for them.

So the road blocks can become amazing victories if you work through or around them in a tenacious, positive way.

Discarding road blocks can help you understand what you are really made of and help you create a life according to who you are meant to be.

“…failure is the experience that precedes triumph.” Ghandi