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Browse published articles attributed to Debra Slover, with full-archive search.
“Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.” ~ Soren Kierkegaard So many people equate successful leadership as the act of achieving results. Having patience can help you achieve results because it is the ability to tolerate frustration that can come about through having to wait or delay what you do.
Each human is capable of fostering excellence. The problem is that many feel ill prepared because they have never experienced excellence or they have an erroneous idea of what constitutes excellence.
A basic element in leadership is trust. To trust means that you have confidence and faith in whomever or whatever you are trusting. Trust is in fact, essential for almost every facet of our lives. When people talk about trust, they talk mainly in terms of gaining, earning, or reclaiming trust as an exte al phenomenon. And no doubt, trust is the easiest thing to lose and one of the hardest things to reclaim in human relationships. How do you gain trust?
A song that the group, Sister Hazel sings is called: Change Your Mind. I wanted to share the chorus with you. "If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself, If you want to be somebody else. Change your mind . . ." These powerful lyrics were written by lead singer Ken Block when he was going through a very hard time in his life. These lyrics have helped many people "change their mind" and their lives but is it really that simple? Can we really just change our mind and then everything is better? Or, is there more to it than that?
Cooperation is a critical skill for life success that requires communication, compassion, and respect. Even a young child three-and–a-half to four years old begins to cooperate. By the age of five or six, they start to understand the true value of cooperation in accomplishing tasks, and it progresses from there. Below are ten ways you can help nurture cooperation in children and help them grow into productive adults:
Empowering leadership in children involves planned events and teachable moments that give children the opportunity to experience what leadership is like.
Emotionally we humans sometimes put up blocks and barriers in order to avoid the reality of our lives. Whether we are in a bad marriage, having troubles in interpersonal relationships, or we are feeling frustrated with our lack of advancement in our career, we lie to ourselves about it. We make up reasons why we don't get along with people and usually we blame them and take no blame on ourselves. We become victims.
In order to become the true leader of your life you must examine yourself closely to determine what do you really want.
If you want to thrive at home and at work, implement time management training. The wasting of time is a leading cause of most stress. When everything is unorganized, and everyone is too busy running around as if on fire, a surviving attitude takes hold. In a survival mode, everyone starts feeling the stress, then you can’t think straight, and your emotional senses are heightened. Any little thing out of place can cause tempers to flare and a breakdown, thus wasting more time.
The continual doom and gloom news of the financial recession in America can bring down even the most lighthearted among us. This is especially true if you have experienced some setbacks due to the economy such as a lay off, a pay cut, or loss in investments. Even if you're generally a positive person, when you allow the doom messages to play over and over in the recesses of your mind and affect your daily actions, you are in effect a victim of your circumstances.
Your past experiences inform your way of life, thoughts, and feelings about every new situation you encounter. If you do not do the work to learn and grow from your painful experiences, you will keep experiencing unnecessary pain until you learn. Learning the lessons you need to discover are what make all your life experiences count. The following are ways to make your life experiences truly count:
“Like beauty is in the mind of the beholder, thought is in the mind, love is in the heart, and truth is in the spirit of a leader. “ ~ Debra J. Slover Being mindful that you need assistance with your leadership skills is the first step toward eliminating any blocks that you may have developed over the years. The thing about leadership that is more important than managing people or projects, it is guiding and encouraging greatness in yourself and others.
Everyone has been in a situation where gossip was happening and either they joined in, or silently stood by and did nothing to either stop it or move the conversation in a different and more positive direction. Of course, it's tempting to engage in "water-cooler" chit chat and gossip about your supervisor, your employer, and your fellow employees, but it's a harmful commonplace practice.
Let's get a couple of definitions out of the way first: 1. Vision -– the big picture dream about your business 2. Purpose -– why you exist 3. Mission –- the task you set out to achieve 4. Goal –- what you will do to achieve that task Creating a clear vision for your business takes some thought, big thought, because this is the one time where you can think larger than you normally would, and the opportunity to think in terms of what you hope to ultimately see if you accomplished all your related objectives.
Negativity can be a hard habit to break. Fighting circumstances is even harder. When it seems like everything is against your chances for success, it is difficult to find a positive solution. Your mind takes hold of these negative thoughts which then seem to manifest themselves into your reality. Everything is worthless. Everything is dark. Everything is wrong. I am ashamed. I am hopeless. I am wrong.
Most people think leadership is the task of guiding or directing others and the ability to plan and organize. While these are facets of leadership, there are aspects that have more to do with you than your ability to work with others. Before one can conce themselves with traditional training for leadership skills, it is important to understand that effective leadership qualities include:
The process of making decisions is a skill that can be developed and learned like any other skill. By practicing the critical thinking that is necessary to make complex decisions, you will become better at making all decisions. By learning how to make good decisions, you will avoid mistakes and get rid of blocks to reaching your true purpose and aim. To make good decisions consider the following:
When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say. - Abraham Lincoln Communication is more than an exchange of words, symbols, or body language. It is an exchange of emotional energy.
Do you realize that you have all the power you need, within yourself, to lead your life in the way that you choose?
You've likely heard the quote that great leaders are "born and not made." The reason this quote is popular is because people do not believe that they can be a great actor, or painter, or writer, or speaker if the talent is not inborn. I'm not sure why people believe this way, but it is something we've all been taught. While it might be true that certain proclivities are genetic, every single one of us has a leader inside us waiting to shine in some aspect. You might not shine as a singer or poet, but you could excel as a mother, or a friend, or a secretary.
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects people in all walks of life. They are people who have been a victim of a crime, abused, involved in a natural disaster, or a war. Anything that is very traumatic can induce PTSD. The person with PTSD feels like they are always on the edge. It's as if the fight or flight reflex all humans possess is in overdrive.
The attributes of thriving leadership are: *Communication *Cooperation *Respect *Responsibility *Teamwork *Trust Training for teams of children leaders must take into account these six attributes of leadership. The training does not have to focus on all of these attributes at once. For instance, a team training focus can encompass one at a time:
Are you stuck in a rut, want the courage to try new things, and don’t know how? Contrary to what it may feel like when you are in a rut, the power lies within to make a change. Even if, you've been doing the same thing for your entire life and now want to go in a different direction, it's your choice. You have the power to do what you want to do, if you are willing to take responsibility for your power or lack thereof. It's important to try new things to have a quality of life; even if it's just a new haircut.
The best way to achieve true happiness in life is to have as many choices as possible. You've probably heard the saying that "money doesn't buy happiness" and while that is true, what it does buy you, can lead to happiness. What it can buy you are choices. Choices of housing, choices of more nutritious food, and the choice of having more time because you can outsource more tasks to others. Even without money, you can increase your choices with proper time management that will allow you the time to do the things you really love to do.
Do you know how to truly express yourself? Do you even know who you are? Do you know how people perceive you? Is who you are harmonious with how people view you? If not maybe you're not expressing yourself clearly. For how you express your goals and dreams, the choices you make, and the actions you take are a direct reflection of your personal leadership. So, how can you go about making sure you are expressing your true self and personal leadership at work and at home?
What is the greatest time draining activity in which executives participate? Golfing? Tennis? Drinks with clients? Nope! It is the never ending stream of never limited meetings. Sometimes there are meetings to plan the next meeting. Meetings that are unorganized and unproductive are a complete waste of time. The following are a few good time management skills for executives to help eliminate the stream of meetings and create an unstoppable productive workforce:
Being productive assumes that the outputs you're producing are quality products. A product can be something tangible or intangible. It might be a widget you create at work, or it could be a result from your community involvement or child rearing. Whatever the results of what you're doing, this is your unique human product.
Understanding that leadership is more than a position or title will go a long way toward helping you recognize your true potential. If you want to be an effective leader, first be your own best leader. Once you have your own life in control, you can work on guiding others. The typical tips for leadership involve being a good communicator, a good listener, act with integrity, take responsibility, be organized, and delegate. All of these qualities of leadership can apply to your own life.
Two words that describe empowered leadership are resilient and unstoppable. People who are resilient pick themselves up after a setback and get back into action, even when they don’t feel like it. When you are a resilient and unstoppable leader in your life you know: 1. When things don't go the way you had hoped, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you, you know how to keep moving forward.
If personal satisfaction in your career is alluding you, it might be time to consider finding another path. Volunteering is a good way to test out different roles to see if they are a fit. Sometimes when we grow up, we follow in our parent's footsteps without ever giving much thought to what we really want.
Most people see leadership as something people do in front of others, but true leadership starts within each of us. It starts with knowing your true purpose and aim and then acting on that knowledge in a way that remains true to your core values. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to observe what is going on right now in our country and to realize that many of our leaders (elected or otherwise) have lost their way. These people are not necessarily bad people, but at some point they forgot their true self and got lost in their ego and survival.
Most adults have grown up with the idea that leadership is a job, title or position, not a way of life that expresses your unique purpose in life. They think that you become a leader by your position in your job or your community and not by the daily actions you take. That is an erroneous example of leadership. The best way to teach children how to be leaders is to let them lead themselves in as much as they are capable of doing.
Many children grow up feeling pretty powerless. They think that they have no control over their own lives nor an ability to make a difference for someone else. It is important to the future of the planet that we alter that, and provide children a sense of their own power in a gently guided manner.
Becoming a high-quality speaker and presenter is a skill that you can learn and practice, much like someone practices any skill such as singing, skating, or writing. Even if you're not born with a natural talent for something you can practice and get better. You might never be perfect, but you can get better and become the best you can be.
Leadership education is often cookie cutter "team building" exercises that do not really address the needs of children in terms of true empowerment, engaging and educating children on the true meaning of leadership, much less truly empowering them to be actual leaders. The proof of this is the fact that many students who seem to have topnotch careers, as students are actually spending their lives cheating.
Living a successful life requires that you actively engage all aspects of yourself, but if you're always running around putting out fires and living in chaos success may seem impossible. Learning time management skills will not only help you with your career successes but also your personal life successes. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to be successful, but you do need to understand a few factors about time:
Spending time with your grandchildren is one of the greatest joys you'll ever know, but when you're feeling like your life is chaotic and stressful it can be hard to enjoy grandparent time. There are ways that you can reorganize your life so that you can best experience the enjoyment of grandparenthood. First you have to be willing to understand your role better as a Grandparent as opposed to a being a parent.
No doubt about it, parenting is stressful. Children are 100 percent dependent upon us not to mess them up for life. At least not mess them up enough to need years of therapy. Something as simple as proper time management (or any time management for that matter) will assist you with decreasing your stress and your children's stress too. If you think of any business that works well, it works because certain tasks are done on certain days and at certain times. It is no different when it comes to managing a family!
Leadership development activities don't have to be outlandish and involve bungee jumping off a 200 foot bridge. There are some safer and less controversial ways to develop leadership among your team and family members. If you're looking for leadership development activities for your team or family, here are a few fun things you can do right now.
Choosing the right leadership training for yourself, your team, your classroom, your employees or family can be confusing and even a little frightening. If you search for training on the Internet, you might discover leadership training that uses words like "black belt" or "boot camp" or even "war" and "killer."
Moms often find themselves hurried and stressed out due to the lack of time in each day to complete everything that needs to be done. Sometimes when moms mismanage their time they don't even get to take a shower, much less do anything extra that would be classified as fun, educational, or joyful. This is sad since one of the most joyful experiences in life is that of being a Mother. But face it, most of us go into Motherhood really young, having no idea the amount of work that going into mothering, so it helps if someone passes on a few tips about motherhood time management.
Since leadership comes in different styles, so does leadership training. You can find all stripes of leadership training skills courses, right in your own town, as well as all over the Internet. Many focus on what a leader does and not enough personal skills training in how to be effective in your own life. You've likely heard about or encountered the different leadership styles such as: Authoritarian -- The authoritarian leader tells the "followers" what to do. This leader does not seek advice and most definitely not opinions of those whom he "leads".
Building trust among your team members is imperative to helping your team reach goals and accomplish projects successfully. Building a cohesive team will assist you and members with the ability to express their true purpose and aim.
With the advent of all the reality T.V. shows, such as "Jersey Shore", "Sixteen and Pregnant", "Keeping up with the Kardashian's" and others, it can make a person wonder if that is truly reality and the state our society is in today. No one can deny the dangers of reality T.V. to its participants in the wake of news reports of more than eleven suicides by 2009 by reality TV contestants. But is it also harmful to the viewers?
Everyone is guilty of making inappropriate choices at times, based on bad information, stubbornness, or unwillingness to use critical thinking skills. There are several processing functions that can keep people from making the best choices that can be made. Pretty much everyone has made a bad choice in either their personal life or their business life. Some reasons why inappropriate choices are made stem from:
Many people have heard of vision boards or other visualization techniques to assist with realizing a goal. Today we have wonderful technology at our fingertips to add to the mix. The old ways have merit too, so read on and see five expanded ways to visualize successful completion of any project. Create a PowerPoint -- Make a PowerPoint slide show of what success looks like. If your project is decorating a room of your house, you can find pictures from the Internet and create the look right in your PowerPoint slide show. Be creative and see the success you will create for yourself.r
"Do as we say, and not as we do" ~ Giovanni Bocaccio This quote has often been heard by children all over the world, as "Do as I say, not as I do" as a parent picks up a cigarette, drinks too much, or eats too much food. It has been used for generations when children catch their elders doing things they themselves have been lectured not to do. I am sure that you realize this does not work. Children tend to model the behavior of the adults around them, rather than doing what the adults say to do. So what is the problem with this?
Nature can teach you valuable lessons. However, there is the personal work for you to do and lessons to learn that will help you grow in each area of your life. This often is the kind of work that many humans ignore, when caught up in the grind of daily life. In addition, to learn more and grow, you have to understand that living the life that you desire is a process. Think of it like growing a garden. You can’t plant the seeds, walk away, and expect it to grow and flourish without sunlight, water, a little weeding, and some loving care. Also, a garden doesn’t produce fruit ove ight.
Finding your purpose in life can seem like a daunting task, especially if you are currently not satisfied with what is happening in your life today. Consider these five steps that help move you toward discovering your purpose in life:
As a busy human being, it can be easy at times to find yourself overwhelmed, over worked, and burned out. If this has ever happened to you, maybe you need to learn a lesson by suffering the consequences of allowing yourself to get stuck in over commitment and overwhelm.