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Browse published articles attributed to Tina Tessina, with full-archive search.
Love, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I’m seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn’t last, so why bother. But, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a relationship can work, and that a great partnership is a joy not to be missed. A lot of people come into my office searching for love, especially unconditional love.
Dr. Romance video, click here for video When your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he or she wishes, you are free to focus your attention on solving the problem for yourself.
Dear Dr. Romance,
Dear Dr. Romance: Almost all of my friends have boyfriends, (we're 22, turning 23) and I don't. I never have. I feel really alone during the week because all my friends are with their boyfriends. I basically work, take classes, and that's it. I either need a boyfriend or more friends, because I'm lonely and hate it! Dear Reader: At times in life, old friends go through changes, and it's time to make new ones. If you haven't made new friends in a while, updating your definition of friendship and increasing your skills at meeting people will be worth your while.
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing the hurt. People with such experiences approach every situation as if they're on trial, and they compulsively try to convince everyone they're not guilty. They have no patterns to follow for apology and forgiveness.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage three years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass.
Dr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships? It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through the mill? 1. Divorced people are no longer living in fantasy land. A person who’s divorced may have made some istakes, but he or she’s usually got a more realistic picture of what it will take to have a successful relationship.
Dr.Romance is happy to announce my newest ebook, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life.
Dear Dr. Romance:
It is indeed possible to stretch time—to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do. Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach. Self-Awareness: As with all successful life skills, time stretching works better if you know yourself well. When you are aware of your priorities—for example, where do work, relationship, family and fun fall on “What’s most important” list? Are you spending the most time on what is most important?
Thank you, Dear Dr Romance:
Dr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric.
I received the following in an email:
Dr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one?
Dear Dr. Romance: I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing parents, and the recent death of her dog, she has a lot going on. She has told me that she doesn’t think a relationship can work for her, with all the other things on her plate…
Dear Dr. Romance: Is he cheating on me? Or am I just being paranoid? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 months now. A couple of weeks ago we broke up and then got back together after a week. When we broke up he kept texting me, asking “Are you happy?” and stuff.
Self-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys to take full responsibility for and control over your own life. Without these keys, it's easy to be caught up in the fantasy that there is someone else who will make it better, who can or should take total care of you, who is able to be responsible for you more effectively than you can yourself.
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older tha I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. We planned to meet up in another country. But he was suddenly never online and never contacted me even by email. I was really devastated.
Dear Dr. Romance: A lot has happened in recent weeks that has wreaked havoc on my life. A friend of twenty years, Told me he did not consider me a real friend, although I've been spending many hours helping him with gaming for years.
I have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
In my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don't know how to ask for what they want, or don't think it's OK. Not asking for what you want means you'll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought I'd give some hints about how to ask for what you want. To really be successful, you need to understand the difference between asking and demanding, and how to approach different people. The Importance of Wanting
Dear Dr. Romance: I need some of your advice. You're the only one I could think of who would give me a sensible answer. Well, this situation might seem easy when viewed from the outside, but going through it myself really created stress for me. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FAMILY AND LOVE. FOR ANY REASON!
To watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay:
Dear Dr. Romance: I know I feel strongly about a certain someone. Do I surprise her with a gift or e-mail her with my recent feelings through a tough time? Dear Reader:
3 Tips to Maintaining Your Sanity During Divorce Dr. Romance’s three tips to maintaining sanity during divorce. 1. Know your rights:
Dear Dr.Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: When one hits a setback in life what are some healthy ways to keep moving forward? How can one build a healthy mental outlook when things go wrong? Dear Reader:
Although you might think of "falling in love" as romantic; we all fall in love many times in life: with a new lover, a new friend, a particularly cooperative co-worker, an appealing movie or TV star, a caring neighbor, siblings, relatives and even pets. Any close relationship involves falling in love at least a little bit, and it's these connections that make life pleasurable.
When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn’t remember that I made it through – she sinks into despair.
Technology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets that cause friction can come out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites. Online gaming, porn and gambling can become addictive, and ravage families.
Dear Dr.Romance: My friends were joking that I have never been single, and I argued that I have - but they said my definition of being single was wrong! true, I tend to have long term relationships, but before I met my last boyfriend I was "single" for nearly a year. I define this as not exclusively being in a committed relationship with any one person, but yes I dated a few guys. they say that because I was dating, I wasn't single.... what is your view on this?? (i'll award best answer to someone who supports my argument lol) Dear Reader:
Dr. Romance writes:
Dear Dr. Romance I am in a same sex relationship of a year and 3 months. My girlfriend Phyllis and I have a constant communication problem that we want to address. Neither of us are currently working. I do get unemploymnet but my bills out weigh my income. Do you know how we can find low cost counseling? Dear Reader: If your bills outweigh your income, you are wise not to pay high fees for therapy. There are low-cost options for counselling:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
I was recently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and remembering my dear friend who used to meet me there and who died not long ago. As I get older, I'm experiencing more and more loss, and so are my friends of a similar age. Those of us who survive loss still have to "keep calm and carry on" as they say. So I thought you might appreciate some help with how to cope.
Dear Dr. Romance: What to say in this situation? Okay, so there's this girl in my art class that I really want to talk to and get to know! Problem is she sits at a different table than me and I just plain don't know what to say to her! I'm a senior and she's a sophomore! What should I say to her to show her I'm interested in her? I haven't talked to her yet so I need something to break the ice! Dear Reader:
We see a lot of advice to write down your goals and dreams, but does it really help? Actually, it does. For one thing, it helps you get clear on exactly what you want, and makes the goals more imaginable. They seem more real when you have thought through them clearly and written them down.
Dr. Romance sees many clients who are having marital problems because of the following bad habits. If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or getting counseling.
Dear Dr. Romance: i need some relationship advise really bad bad. Can you help?? I really need help, See, I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years And he found out and forgave me! And he went out And slept with 3 girls that night is it possible for us to still work? We love each other but I don't know. Dear Reader Yes, you can, but you both have to do a lot of growing up. You can do that if you both follow these steps:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I came across your web site when I was desperately looking for motivation. I'm a salesman selling first class products but I couldn't get motivated and it's been a problem for months. It's been getting worse. I read "Motivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and now I'm sorted out.
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm having major anxiety about the guy I'm dating. I wanted to talk with him, but I lost my strength when I asked about his ex and he gave me an answer like, "There are things you need to know and things you don't need to know and when things don't affect you, you don't need to know them."
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Ever wondered how con artists can get away with all they do? They know how to charm people, and they have mastered the art of looking as if they belong. Because they have no feelings of guilt about misrepresenting themselves, they can pull it off. But you don't have to be dishonest and manipulative to be charming. You can use the power of charm to create a charmed life for yourself, and be perfectly honest, kind and caring while doing it.
Dear Dr. Romance I came across your name and contact details on a web it whilst trying to find info' to help my relationship. I wonder if you might be able to offer me any advice please ? My girlfriend always wants to take control and the way she speaks to me at times is though I'm trash and she has no respect for me at all. She blows hot and cold so often and I find her volatile and aggressive. I don't know where it's gone wrong but it has since we started living together 6 months ago.