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Conflict Resolution Articles
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- ***Don’t Give in Without a Fight - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2010 from Margaret MeloniSometimes conflict cannot be avoided and that is not a bad thing. When you and your team or you and a colleague resolve a conflict together, you build a better working relationship. When I say to you, ‘Don’t give in without a fight’; I don’t mean go have an ugly nasty altercation. I mean don’t ...
Views: 2247(5 votes) - ***Bringing it ALL to Work - by Submitted on May 05, 2010 from Margaret MeloniI remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really ...
Views: 1374(4 votes) - ***Can You Schedule Conflict? - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2010 from Margaret MeloniRecently we have discussed steps to take to when you decide to step in and step up to conflict resolution. In ‘You Decide to Resolve a Conflict’ Part I and Part II one of the underlying assumptions was that you had time to plan your actions and the steps you would take to resolve the ...
Views: 2329(4 votes) - ***YOU are a Role Model - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“To observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's education. It helps him to understand and accept his own occasional hostilities and to realize that differing opinions need not imply an absence of love.” … Milton R Sapirstein When children can see others disagree and disagree ...
Views: 1451(4 votes) - ***You Decide to Resolve a Conflict, Now What? – Part II - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2010 from Margaret MeloniIn You Decide to Resolve a Conflict, Now What? (http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=818) we discussed some steps to take when you decide to step in and help resolve a conflict. These steps were designed to help you when you know in advance that you will be facilitating resolution. Today we are ...
Views: 1227(4 votes) - Change Your Language, Change Your Relationship: How We Say Things Does Matter - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2012 from Sharon RivkinThat old phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not really true. Words may not inflict visible bruises like sticks and stones, but they pack a punch nonetheless. They injure our insides, our feelings, and our self-esteem. External bruises are tangible ...
Views: 2732(4 votes) - Six Super Simple Guidelines for Developing Your Communication Skills By Improving Your Ability to Listen - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2009 from Peggy FergusonBuilding a solid foundation for the development of good communication skills involves learning how to listen effectively. There are several elements of effective listening. These elements include attention, reflection, ability to tolerate tension, and ability to challenge the assumptions that ...
Views: 3867(4 votes) - ***Choose YOUR Battles - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part ...
Views: 2423(3 votes) - ***What to Do When Your Partner Has Become Your Enemy - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2012 from Sharon RivkinWhere has all the love gone that you once felt for your partner? Do you seem to fight about everything? Has your partner become your enemy? How did it happen? These are common questions I address time and time again in my private practice. The process of “building a case against our ...
Views: 12207(3 votes) - Dealing With Other People's Anger - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2010 from Greg BakerThere is a very revealing verse in the Bible that helps define the psychology of an angry person. Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: The warning is very poignant. Angry people are exceptionally difficult to deal with. But for many ...
Views: 4183(3 votes) - Does Your Boss Have Empathy? - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2009 from Harvey DeutschendorfFiona was Corrie’s manager at a branch of a large financial institution that had branches across the U.S. Europe and Asia. They had recently come up with a new process that Fiona was hoping that the organization would adopt throughout their operations. As Corrie was instrumental in developing ...
Views: 1684(3 votes) - How to Make a Really Difficult Decision - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Claudia LuizPatients often contact me for therapy in the throes of a difficult decision. They want to know if they should get a new job or change their child's school, move to another city or leave their spouse. When they can’t make a decision, it is usually not for lack of relevant information and advice ...
Views: 12618(3 votes) - How to Stop Fighting in Your Relationship - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2009 from Love Coach RinattaIs fighting a problem in your relationship or marriage? Fighting is a very serious problem for many couples. The good news is that I am about to help you solve it permanently. First you have to understanding that you should not fight at all, with anyone. I don’t mean you should not disagree ...
Views: 16265(3 votes) - ***Stop the Shoulding! - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThe women next to me in line said to her friend, "I am so tired of people telling me what I should do. I just want to yell, STOP SHOULDING ON ME!" I could not help but smile a bit. Not at her annoyance and frustration, but at the phrase, 'stop shoulding on me.' I thought, "What a great ...
Views: 1977(5 votes) - ***You are Doing Your Best - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniIf you follow sports you have noticed that top athletes do not always perform consistently. A world class runner may break a world record in one competition and then not even place in the same event one week later. A champion weight lifter might break a record and then be unable to lift that ...
Views: 1787(5 votes) - H.B.I.T.S. Syndrome - The Silent Killer - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2010 from E. (anagarika eddie) Raymond RockH.B.I.T.S. is more widespread than originally thought, mainly because it goes unreported. The reason for this is that on the surface, it doesn't seem to be all that serious. But as a matter of record, H.B.I.T.S. could be called the silent killer. One of the major symptoms of H.B.I.T.S. is a ...
Views: 1773(5 votes) - "Quit Taking Everyone's Emotional Temperature" - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2011 from Susan FoxleyGrowing up with nine siblings, all with big personalities, was quite a rich and deep experience. My role in such a large Irish Catholic family was “the peacemaker”. With everyone close in age there were always arguments over who got the prize at the bottom of the cereal box, or fighting over ...
Views: 1657(2 votes) - *** Communication and Community: The Secret to Getting Along - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2009 from Christine BreeseThe idea of creating a community or a group of unified like minded folks is a great idea, but what happens when there is conflict? As long as there are individuals with different worldviews, there will be conflict. Lack of conflict resolution techniques has been the undoing of many communities ...
Views: 2532(2 votes) - ***3 Ways to Deal with Differences - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret Meloni"There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish..." Mary Parker Follett The ...
Views: 1632(2 votes) - ***Conflict and You - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniDo you and the people you work with share the exact same beliefs, perspectives, priorities and goals? Probably not. Hmmm, I guess that means you are going to experience conflict. Conflict is a condition in which people’s concerns appear to be incompatible. In fact since you and your co-workers ...
Views: 1818(6 votes) - 4 Ways to Survive the Hard Times and Come Out Closer - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Sharon RivkinIs it possible for something good to come out of the economic downturn? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit: 1. Back to Basics. View this as an ...Is ...
Views: 2515(2 votes) - 5 Important Tips to Help You Talk to Your Spouse about Money - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2009 from Pamela LipeAre you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial ...
Views: 1350(2 votes) - Conflict – Are You Using it Productively? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2009 from Gael DrumConflict is a good motivator to address problems and to seek solutions for unresolved issues. It is a good warning sign that an area of your life, or your personality may need attention. However, if you sweep the warning signals under the carpet or ignore the motivation to confront and resolve ...
Views: 1627(2 votes) - Five Mistakes to Avoid during Conflict - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2009 from Alberta FredricksenThere are so many positive strategies and processes to use in managing conflict effectively. And sometimes it’s very important to know how to avoid the pitfalls. You will enhance your success in finding heart peace if you stay aware of the energies that are the indicators and outcomes of ...
Views: 1635(2 votes) - For your marriage - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2011 from Pradnya Ajinkya“For your Marriage ………………………….” Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya MS Counselling and Psychotherapy, PhD, PG Journalism I am a Mumbai-based psychological counsellor and family therapist. I have seen fair share of dysfunctional marriages. Here, I recount the case of Subeesh and ...
Views: 2252(2 votes) - Is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy for You? - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2011 from Leila McKay, MA, LPC.You have probably heard the expression "What we focus on becomes stronger." The theory behind Solution Based Therapy (SBT) is that focusing on what we want, rather than what we don't want, can help change old patterns of behavior and free-up energy for our full participation in life. When ...
Views: 3710(2 votes) - My Wife and Mother Can't Stand Each Other by Linda Lipshutz, MS, LCSW, ACSW - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2010 from linda lipshutz“My wife and My Mother Can’t Stand Each Other” by Linda Lipshutz, M.S., LCSW Rob W. writes: ”My wife and I have been arguing incessantly and I am beside myself. Stacy and I have been married for five years and the problem seems to be getting worse, not better. I’ve always been very close to ...
Views: 5726(2 votes) - Resilience Tips for Your Family Building Journey - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Joni S. Mantell, LCSW, MSWA process requiring resilience comes in two phases. First there is the crisis, a time when the loss or distress is often too unbearable for you to see opportunities that may be available. Once the distress fades away, you may start to see potential in a new situation and to gain a new ...
Views: 1455(2 votes) - Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ...
Views: 1374(2 votes) - Please read this... It will mean a lot to me. - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2009 from Danish AhmedHey there everyone!! Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Now, why do you think this means a lot to me? Take a moment and think about it. What got you to start reading this? If you don't read "every" post, what got you to start reading this time? Was it simply because I ...
Views: 2855(26 votes) - How to Be Less Defensive - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2009 from Lynne CoonDo you lash out when you feel criticized? Everyone can get defensive in certain situations, but if you're getting defensive most of the time you feel criticized you may be damaging your relationships or your chance for raises and promotions at work. There are several things you can do when ...
Views: 9137(3 votes) - How to Become Strong Enough to Forgive and Smart Enough Not to Get Hooked - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2009 from William StoneAnger is a completely normal and healthful emotion. It helps us focus our awareness on situations that require our attention, and helps us rouse the energy needed to protect ourselves from harm. But when anger is frozen into cynical hostility or resentment, it robs us of our natural capacity to ...
Views: 2244(3 votes) - Relationship Red Flags: 5 Tips for Identifying Your Negotiables and Non-Negotiables - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2012 from Sharon RivkinYou’re in a new relationship, and you’re starting to see some red flags, warning you that the relationship may not be a good bet, but does that mean you should leave? How many red flags does it take to make that decision? How do you know if the red flags mean future disaster, or are just a ...
Views: 3254(3 votes) - Some Common Characteristics of Low Self Esteem - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2011 from guy brugadaIf you think about it, you'll find that low self esteem is like a mental jail, a set of rules, opinions and values, imposed by our own mind, which limit our abilities, our way of thinking and our life. Do you like what you see in that mirror? Do you feel pride, compassion and respect about ...
Views: 3973(3 votes) - Who Says You Can't Change? - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2010 from Terry DrakeWho is in control of you? Well, if you're not accepting responsibility for your life or what happens in it, it isn't you! In order for you to really create the life you want, then you have to accept responsibility for everything that happens in it. If you accept responsibility for something and ...
Views: 4639(6 votes) - ***Should YOU AVOID Conflict? - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2010 from Margaret MeloniMost of the times you do not want conflict to go unaddressed. It is your job as a leader to ensure that your team engages in healthy and productive conflict and to make sure that conflict is not ignored. After all desperately hoping that an issue will just go away is a great way to turn a small ...
Views: 3265(7 votes) - ***It's Not Personal - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniSally looked at Mary Carol and said, "Wow how did you do that? How did you just brush it off, I mean Jim just got in your face and told you that he hates working with you. And you are just as calm and collected as ever." Mary Carol looked at Sally and said, "Well I am really not taking it ...
Views: 1386(4 votes) - How to Get Hired For The Right Slot in This Economy - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2010 from Hal WechslerHow to Get Hired For The Right Slot – In This Economy Is it a scientific fact that whatever is measured – improves? Does Attention create Concentration and Comprehension, leading to learning strategies and a better working-memory? Your attention varies based on your motivation to learn ...
Views: 1469(4 votes) - ***The Face of Conflict - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniOne of the more common definitions of conflict is that it is a clash between two (or more) opposing groups or that it is a power struggle or a battle between opposing forces. When you think of conflict, you may think of it as a negative (think power struggle or battle) or you may think that ...
Views: 1673(9 votes) - Decision Making – Learn how to predict decisions made by others - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2010 from Judith EvicciIn order to make a good decision, adults employ all the logic at their disposal. However, if you are not an Adult Personality Type, or if you are married to an Individual representing another personality type, conflicts occur and logic may not be the primary consideration for deciding what to ...
Views: 2530(1 vote) - #71 of 101 Ways to Love Your Job: Being Right---What Price Do You Pay? - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2009 from Stephanie GoddardRecently I had the opportunity to speak with several employees about their views on conflict, dealing with difficult people, and how to get things done when others aren't cooperating. You know--the usual stuff at work that we all cite as some of the most common stressors. I was surprised by ...
Views: 1739(2 votes) - ***3 Ways Your EQ Resolves Conflict - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2010 from Margaret MeloniYour Emotional Intelligence can help make or break you. After all your Emotional Intelligence or EQ is your ability to handle yourself and others. It is all about your ability to get along with others and build relationships. In today’s world it is not enough to be good at the technical aspects ...
Views: 2000(2 votes) - ***Be Impeccable with Your Word - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret Meloni“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Do any of you remember that charming little childhood chant? It was meant to ward off the cruel verbal taunts we received from other children. Sometimes kids can be very harsh with their teasing. Sometimes adults can be very ...
Views: 3364(4 votes) - ***Building Your Conflict Resolution Skills? Consider these tips. - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2010 from Margaret MeloniFor many of us becoming comfortable with conflict is part of our continued personal development. Here are three tips for you to work with as you continue to make peace with conflict. 1) Take time to learn and understand the various conflict resolution modes. What are the conflict resolution ...
Views: 1597(1 vote) - ***Changing Your Mind - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.” - John Kenneth Galbraith Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person ...
Views: 1409(1 vote) - ***Choose YOUR Battles - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part ...
Views: 1370(3 votes) - ***Don’t Assume a Thing - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniIn one of the first classes I taught, I had a student who was always scowling at me. It would have been really hard to miss that scowl. He sat in the front row and it was a small class in a small room. He was friendly enough when he entered the class room and when he left for the evening. ...
Views: 1396(6 votes) - ***How Am I Supposed to Do That? - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2009 from Margaret Meloni“Margaret, you share with us these great tips for treating people with compassion. You make sense when you remind us that other people’s behavior is about them. But how are we supposed to really do this in the real world? Especially when someone is right in my face and I just want to yell at ...
Views: 1336(3 votes) - ***It Starts with YOUR Attention - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThe act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can ...
Views: 1403(1 vote) - ***Make YOUR OWN Paradise - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2010 from Margaret MeloniMy husband turned to me and said, "Everyone here is so nice and so relaxed and so happy". I thought about it for a minute and replied, "Well if you can't be happy here, where can YOU be happy?" The HERE in "Well if you can't be happy here..." was one of the most beautiful tropical islands in ...
Views: 1539(1 vote)