Grief and Loss Articles

Greetings! As we begin to become friends, you will notice that I'm very frank with my language because I want you to heal and not go around the same emotional mountain for many years needlessly the way I had. The reason for that is so that you will learn from my experience since I didn't have others to speak into my life at the time. So I thought the very first thing we should discuss is the question most people say when something tragic happens...WHY????

Words of Sympathy People often stay away after something terrible has happened to a friend or loved one. They don’t stay away because they don’t care, but because they don’t think they can give any great words of comfort. We all know there are statements that flow from our mouths that should have never left it, words like “it will be okay” or “they are in a better place now” even “ it will get easier”. Yes, those are true, but in the aftermath of a tragedy t

The different stages of grief recovery are never easy, and it’s entirely up to the person how long it takes someone to be on the grieving process. There are different essentials when it comes to grief recovery, and it’s a must to help you to be on your way to recover. Bear in mind that tears and crying are simply part of the bereavement process, so give yourself permission to cry all you want. You can find a safe and solitary place like your room if you need to unload you

Dating and Griefr By Sandy Clendenen About a year after my husband died I began feeling extremely restless. Grief kept my mind skittering from one thing to another. Although these restless feelings were confusing, they were at least a bit of a relief from the heaviness of grief’s deep sadness and depression. Somehow, from this agitated state of displaced energy, I decided to try internet dating. It took me awhile to figure out the mechanics, since I knew very little about computers at that time.

Valentine’s Day -- a double edged day that reflects the natural duality of this planet. While it can be a wonderful day for lovers to renew their commitment to each other, the single community usually dreads the onslaught of the media hype that surrounds the day. Let’s take a hard look at Valentine’s Day and its true meaning.

Happy Holidays,Ting-ting-a-ling. Everywhere I go I hear the happy, happy, happy sounds of the holidays. Wait, I am a widow. I am experiencing grief, loss, misery. What's so jolly about being left alone at this time after a good marriage ? Left alone to manage the memories, to live through the 6 weeks of happy, happy family time. Children out of the home, decorations in the storage shed. Decorations collected over 25 years. The handmade ornaments, the stockings, the cookie cu

In the current economic climate, if you’re an entrepreneur or simply a business person, you have probably been urged to start networking and using social media in order to enhance the success of your business. If you are nervous about commencing these types of activities, be assured that they are nothing to fear. If you can carry on a conversation or write a few intelligible sentences, you can quickly become an expert and become a networking king or queen!

In this article I will be discussing a myth which most people can readily recall from early childhood, "Replace the loss and go on with your life." As young children we may have had a cherished stuffed animal or other special treasure. We may also have been fortunate enough to have a pet. The ...

Many of us, especially those on the spiritual path, tend to look at anger as an entirely negative emotion. However, anger used mindfully can be extremely positive, powerful and ultimately healing. Anger is simply energy, and we always have a choice as to what to do with it. Dzogchen Ponlop, in his recent book Rebel Buddha (2010) aptly states:r

Among the misunderstandings people have concerning grief is that they think it is the reaction only to the death of a loved one. But we experience a sense of loss when something or someone that belonged to us and was of immense value has been taken from our lives, leaving in their place a void that we are sometimes unable to fill...not only to death. If you find yourself grieving over any the following transitions it is just natural and you need to pay attention to your feelings. Losses you may be experiencing: • Divorce or break-up.r • Loss of health.r • Loss of a job?r

When we experience loss we immediately turn to our friends and family, expecting them to be able to help us. All too often, we are left disappointed. Friends don’t know what to say and can find it difficult to be around us. They sometimes have no understanding of what we are going through. With family support, all too often there are other pre-existing issues underlying our relationships that can make it difficult to get the support we need.

Aya-Whatta? Was probably what you’d have said a few years ago when reading this, but this previously mysterious Amazonian plant medicine known as Ayahuasca has, in the past few years, hit the mainstream hard. Until pretty recently, this off-beat beverage seemed appealing only to a few brave anthropologists, psychedelic explorers such as the McKenna brothers, and a few pioneering individuals who, for whatever reason, fumbled and stumbled their way into the path of a Shaman in the jungles of Peru, Brazil or Equador. But not anymore.

During difficult economic times, there is a tendency to have doubts and conce s about one’s future. Past disappointments and perceived failures can bring fears, doubts, and frustrations roaring to the surface to confuse and complicate our present situation. The seeds of joy, success, love, and abundance are found in R.E.S.P.E.C.T., and we must not let our past interfere with our present and future goals.

Have you wondered why your grief seems to be going on longer than you thought it would? It could be that you have some unfinished business with the deceased, or you have some anger you have buried and don’t want to deal with. However, one of the most common causes for prolonged grief is the ...

My mother died yesterday. She was 85 years old. A ruptured 6+ centimeter aortic aneurysm took her life subsequent to breaking a hip during a fall at her assisted living facility two days ago. I might also add that my mother suffered a stroke two and a half years ago, and was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease several years prior. Given her medical history and our knowledge of two aortic aneurysms, her passing still took us by surprise. My mother was an extraordinary woman. Sh

For my Aunt Helen Jantzen, at your Crossroads of Life and Death You Have ....... You have walked life’s road, lo, these many years together in body and heart; You have shared the dreams, the joys and the tears of two lives that now must part. You have been called to that test we are all called to take when a spirit you must release; You have been called to the shores of a mighty lake where that spirit will find it’s peace. You have reason to take the time to grieve and release your husband for life; You have reason to know that what you believer

Thanks to Facebook and other social media sites, when we’re feeling blue, we can get a much needed ego boost online. But, how healthy is it to seek exte al approval in this way? While it might momentarily lift our spirits, does it really give us what we need; self-esteem and a strong sense of self? And what happens when we don’t get the praise we’ve come to expect?

What can I do for someone who is grieving? Is there really anyway a "bystander" can help? Sometimes watching a person suffer the pain of loss is almost unbearable. Often in life it is easier to accept our own suffering that it is to accept the anguish of someone we deeply care about.

I suppose my mother had something to do with me loving animals. From the time I was five, she was bringing home creatures small enough to go undetected in our Brooklyn apartment: turtles, tortoises, and a half-moon parrot with whom I bonded so deeply that the memories of having to give him up (I had severe allergies) still fly at me like unwelcome shards of glass. I remember crying in the back seat of the car, my father double-parked with the engine running while my mother returned the bird to the pet shop.

Grief is an integral part of life and living. Everyone grieves, although not everyone mou s. That is, not everyone goes public with their grief. They have been taught to keep it to themselves because it is much too personal. Consequently, silent or suppressed grief tends to perpetuate many ...

After a that time you buried your beloved husband, you will be called now as newly widowed. But faith will tell you that you would get through it. And here are the 8 things you have to bear in mind not to forget: 1. Do not forget to take good care of yourself-- wash your face, comb your hair, brush your teeth and while you’re at it, try painting your lips with a tint of rosy red. I know it may sounds so easy and like just a daily routine, but for a newly widowed like you, l

Dr. Weide has been a Licensed Psychologist and Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in the Washington, D.C. area for twenty years. Dr. Weide is also a Certified Thanatologist (by the Association for Death Education and Counseling), specializing in grief, bereavement and trauma therapy. When I received the phone call that my 47-year old husband had died of a heart attack, I was pushed into a dimension of existence I had been unaware of so far. I was unable to e

Grief is a natural response to the loss of something valued. Myths are falsehoods parading as gospel truths. Combined they lead to much excessive emotional and physical pain when mou ing. If you mou according to myth it means you have adopted false beliefs about grief and how to cope with ...

I am currently enrolled in a 16 hour Hospice volunteer training program with the intent to serve as a Reiki and pet therapy volunteer. The first six hours of training consisted of five units covering the dying process, volunteer parameters, caregiver roles, special populations, and legal and organizational procedures.

Losing a child is one of life's biggest tragedies. All that promise, all those hopes, all those possibilities for a bright and successful future disappear in an instant. Whether you've lost a young child or a young adult child, the feeling of loss cuts deep. We are simply not programmed to deal with the death of a child. We accept the loss of parents and grandparents as inevitable. But losing a child, that's never something we expect to deal with. We bring children into the

Let's talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called "the inner marriage." The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. ...

Loss throws us into a world of unknown emotions. Some of which we maybe had never experienced before. Understanding these emotions can be a key factor in transforming through loss. Yet it can be hard to accept some feelings. It requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves and acknowledge that there are no right or wrong emotions, there just are. If we do not acknowledge them they stay forever locked within us becoming a burden that limit our ability to truly live.

When you lose your spouse life feels very disorganized. All relationships provide a sense of structure, whether you think of it that way or not. Much of grief is really about coping with the lack of structure which manifests in the sad, empty space of what had been a significant ...

No matter what degrees it is outside, spring is a marker in time. Every season has its message. We think of spring as the time to clean out closets, get rid of the old, to prepare for the new.

Question: I am the eldest of 12 children and only survivor who did not perish the Australian fires. I feel the guilt being spared from working abroad. Despite my own problems here, being wiped out financially and facing homelessness, I realize the God I know does not care. I find myself disgusted and truly disappointed with Him. I tried to end my life only to awaken alive in a worse way. Why does he take the lives of precious people who doesn't want to die yet the ones who tr

(excerpts from the book Holiday Grief: How to Cope with Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death) Since I’ve been involved in helping grieving children for most of my career, it is very important to me to help you learn about the needs of young people when the holidays and significant events come around during the year. We may think that they don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here to tell you unequivocally, that they are very keenly aware of your suffering, your struggles both emotionally and perhaps financially, and your anxiety, stress and even depression.

Enduring a catastrophic personal injury can scar someone both emotionally and physically for life. Medical bills pile up, life as the victim knew it may be over, depression often sets in, and the fear that things will never be good again can be an all consuming fear. It can also put a strain on family members and relationships as these people watch a loved one going through a personal hell.nnOftentimes just as the coping and the overcoming process has started, the legal proce

Your role has changed… no longer are you the care giver. Your loved one has died and things are now different. You may be feeling a whole host of emotions ranging from relief, to anger, to disbelief and sadness. You may be responding by questioning who you are now, and how you go on. Welcome to the grief process.rnThings are totally new and this major gear shift can be as overwhelming as the caregiver role you had. Your focus is different. Your routine has changed. A major

Honoring Life on Our Own Time Recently I was in a Life Coaching session with one of my clients who told me a very touching, heartfelt story. She had gotten off early from work one day last week, so before she headed home to let her nanny off and to happily see her girls, she headed over to Trader Joe’s to get some of her kids’ favorite foods. The grocery list included Mac N Cheese, quesadilla ingredients, as well as those green vegetables she continuously attempts to get her

Baby Boomers are in for a shock!!! We may think that we are prepared for the sadness that will accompany our parents’ death. In fact we are usually totally unprepared for this life experience. To lose the people in your life that have always been there and know you the best is a life-altering event. I was sure that I understood the pain that would accompany the eventual death of my mother. Professionally I was a nurse and involved in palliative care and bereavement counselling so I was sure that I was prepared. I was wrong!!

Coping with stress related to bereavement in a positive way does not just happen easily and naturally. Bereavement due to death, loss of a job, loss of a relationship or any loss that severely changes our everyday world is happening more frequently as we face recession and other life difficulties... The important thing is how we handle it. My first tip for how to cope with stress after bereavement is that you MUST expect to feel signs of stress and you must not think it abnor

Breaking up with your lover, partner or spouse is a major event in your life. The consequences are not much different than losing a loved one through death. A relationship breakup is a death of sorts, the death of possibilities, a future together and plans that were spun around during your better days together. Feelings of loss, sadness and grief are common to the experience. What you go through is a period of mou ing and bereavement over the death of possibilities. The “Us”

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ken Matthies, retired Canadian Forces Northern Ranger. I’m also John’s youngest brother, come down from the Yukon Territory to love, honor and pay tribute to him in my own special way at his passing. I have a story about John to share with you today…and it begins like this… ************************************************************

I’m speaking to you today… IN REMEMBRANCE OF a man known as Private Cornelius Peter Buhler – or – (Buller)… a member of the Calgary Highlanders Regiment who was killed in actio July 25, 1944 during the Allied combat offensive in France.

Katherine glanced at the oversized banner promoting 25% off all men’s wear. “That’s one department I won’t need to shop in this season,” she thought. A suffocating feeling soon overwhelmed her. The holiday music seemed louder, the decorations larger, and the ...Katherine glanced at the oversized banner promoting 25% off all men’s wear. “That’s one department I won’t need to shop in this season,” she thought. A suffocating feeling soon overwhelmed her.

Hope is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, “To wish for (something) with expectation.” This definition works for most of our life; we hope for, love, success family, travel and wonderful experiences. Hope when we are terminally ill is still hope, but the definition does change.

Dealing with the holidays while you are grieving for a loved one can be stressful and emotionally exhausting. For most of us the holiday season magnifies the absence of the person lost. You may feel that long-held traditions can never be the same or could be awkward. It can be sad shopping for gifts and seeing something that you know a departed loved one would have really enjoyed. Preparing yourself emotionally for the holidays and evaluating what they mean to you, plus developing a coping strategy before the holiday season can help. Here are a few tips for developing a plan:

A friend of our family just lost her husband to cancer. She has several adult children who no doubt have been there for her. They helped with all the arrangements of the funeral, helped her sort through all the paper work that needed to be taken care of and kept her busy with family events. However, none of them live close enough to provide daily help. While she doesn’t need big meals brought to her, or help paying bills, she is very lonely. She doesn’t have little childr

Dealing With Marriage Separation Pain: How To Cope With Separation From Your Husband Today, I felt inspired to write about loneliness. Loneliness is a truly difficult emotion to deal with; it can arise unexpectedly and hit you really hard, slowly creep up on you and linger for months or years if not addressed. Loneliness, and the fear of being alone, is so powerful that it can keep people locked up in unhappy marriages for decades. Frequently, my clients share a list of negat

When we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with ...

Developing a comprehensive insurance program that will provide you and your family with a variety of benefit options is an important consideration for anyone. While single adults may not have the same need for life insurance coverage as those with a spouse or family, they do need to be able to protect themselves in the event of an accident or injury that keeps them from work. Finding life cover, funeral plan and income protection quotes from several companies will allow you t

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller How could anyone think it possible to find ‘golden moments’ in a loved one’s long term dying? There are many among you out there in the world that are grieving from the loss of a family member or close friend who faced a long term dying. You probably felt like a piece of you was dying right along with them over the many long months or years before their end finally came, and your grief for their loss finally broke loose to become a living reality within you.

STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the ninth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. Today I’d like to talk to you about ‘Knowing The Truth In Your Own Heart’, and how this knowledge can positively affect perceptions about your own healing.