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Is One Parent a Narcissist and the Other an Enabler?
To find out if you have a narcissistic parent and a parent who enables him or her, please answer yes or no to the following twenty questions:
Did you grow up in a two parent home with one parent significantly more domineering than ... Views: 2850
Lidija Rangelovska advanced the idea that some children subjected to abuse in dysfunctional families – objectified, dehumanized, their boundaries breached, and their growth stunted – develop intense feelings of shame. They turn out to be codependents or narcissists owing to their genetic makeup ... Views: 1552
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
All told, there are three ways to manipulate the narcissist:
(1) To withhold narcissistic supply from him until he comes, hat in hand, begging for more and then you can name your price and dictate terms;
(2) To ... Views: 1769
When human psychological factors cause an illness, it is called psychosomatic – of the mind and of the body. Of all disorders an eating disorder is the epitome of a toxic relationship between psyche and soma, yet the body is our interface for navigating the world. Medical writer Jonathan Miller ... Views: 1533
Some people are naturally drawn to high-risk behaviors. This may involve taking drugs or alcohol, engaging in promiscuous sex, gambling or getting into physical altercations. There are many different ways this tendency can manifest, but all can be dangerous. In some cases, such actions can have ... Views: 948
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Narcissistic parents of seriously ill children derive narcissistic supply from onlookers, friends, family, colleagues, and community by attracting attention to their role as saintly caretakers. They are demonstratively and ... Views: 1281
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, drug abuse rates declined by almost eight percent from 2002 to 2013. However, there is still a large treatment gap, which results in over 20 million Americans failing to receive needed substance abuse help. Below introduces four excellent ... Views: 1830
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist regards his disabled or challenged child as an insult, a direct challenge to his self-perceived perfection and omnipotence, a constant, nagging source of negative narcissistic supply, and the reification and ... Views: 3654
Abusive situations in families do not happen in isolation. It is neither bad luck, nor is it the fault of the victim of abuse. Abuse happens within a culture of abuse. That is, there is something that is handed down over the generations that encourages those who abuse and allow those around the ... Views: 1231
When a woman sees her husband is touched with tenderness toward her from Scripture and that he prays for God's blessing on their marriage, her heart is touched and she may even weep with love for God and him. This could be a secret wish or unidentified need of half the world's ... Views: 1076
The Narcissist in Custody Battles
Presentation made by Sam Vaknin
Author of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”
In the 11th Annual and First International
Battered Mothers Custody Conference
http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/
HOW NARCISSIST SEES HIS CHILDREN
1. ... Views: 2944
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
When the narcissist has money, he can exercise his sadistic urges freely and with little fear of repercussions. Money shields him from life itself, from the outcomes and consequences of his actions; it insulates him warmly ... Views: 4704
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled. Having ... Views: 2325
As a human being, one has the ability to lift others up and make their life easier, or they can pull others down and make their life harder. There are going to be some people who generally fit into the first category and then there will be others who generally fit into to the second ... Views: 13858
Although there is no such thing as a perfect childhood, that doesn’t mean that everyone is treated in the same way. There are going to be some people who were treated well on most occasions and there are going to be others who had the opposite experience.
In this case, one would have been ... Views: 1921
Caring about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. Being a borderline (having BPD) is no picnic, either. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time on the border between reality and ... Views: 1405
When someone is abused during their childhood years, they can end up doing the same thing and abusing others or they can put an end to the abuse. And based on how much pain one would have experienced when they were abused, it is often hard for people to understand why they would end up doing to ... Views: 1981
While some women want to be mothers and go onto fulfil this need, there are others who have no interest in being a mother. They might end up channelling their nurturing abilities into another area of life instead.
However, just because a woman decides to be a mother, it doesn’t mean that she ... Views: 7835
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Demonizing - by Kasia Jarosinska (www.spiritualshifts.com)
Demonizing is a coping mechanism that we employ to painlessly process our fears. It is the act of projecting onto a person, situation or environment-separation. Any time we speak negatively of another person, situation or environment, we are claiming that this seemingly separate experience is ... Views: 1347
Trying to justify my resentment, anger and hatred was not worth the price of my health, nor is it worth yours.
Today I have not only survived, but thrived and I'll show you how I did it.
Resentment is a Latin word meaning to feel anger over and over. Like a poison, it shoots adrenalin into our ... Views: 1102
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder is not yet recognized by the DSM Committee. It makes its appearances in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for ... Views: 2636
Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
You have been abused, maltreated, harrassed, and stalked.
You feel that you fell prey to a narcissist or psychopath.
But, you must move on from victim to ... Views: 5360
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist cursed - or blessed - with mental X-ray vision. He sees through people's emotional shields, their petty lies, their pitiable defences, their grandiose fantasies. He knows when they deviate from the truth and ... Views: 5716
If you have been abused as a child in any way and this affects your confidence, first of all recognize that the love has to come from you. This is hard, if you have been trained by parents/guardians/people in authority that you were not lovable. Of course, this is to justify their abusive ... Views: 1574
It is often said that abuse is passed down from one generation to another and it can be hard for people to understand why this happens. However, the next generation are not the only ones who can end up being abused; it is also something that can affect the people who the abuser comes into ... Views: 1803
When one is unable to let go, they’re going to end up using their energy to hold onto what they no longer need. And as they no longer need what they’re holding onto, it is not going to affect their ability to receive anything new.
What one is holding onto no longer has a purpose and it is ... Views: 1636
The narcissist constructs a narrative of his life that is partly confabulated and whose purpose is to buttress, demonstrate, and prove the veracity of the fantastically grandiose and often impossible claims made by the False Self. This narrative allocates roles to significant others in the ... Views: 2852
When someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ... Views: 2196
There is ritual sexual abuse and there is ritualized sexual abuse. The terms are sometimes interchanged, but for the purpose of this article I am delineating between the two as Ritual Sexual Abuse being cult or cult-like abuse in which “the abuse has a spiritual or social goal” (David Finkelhor, ... Views: 1201
This week I've been working with how much courage it takes, for those who are people-pleasers , to be authentic. It's a fact that you can't set a boundary to take care of yourself, and take care of the other person's feelings at the same time. For many, the prohibition against hurting someone ... Views: 1287
An Oscar-nominated documentary called “The Invisible War” tackles the seemingly taboo subject of rape and sexual assault in the military. ABC News covered a quick story of the documentary and featured three women who bravely volunteered their personal stories of being raped while enlisted in the ... Views: 1246
Intimate personal violence, which is similar to domestic violence, affects an estimated 12 million people, both men and women, per year. That is according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website, where plenty of similarly shocking statistics can be found. For instance, “more than 1 ... Views: 1212
The U.S. Department of Veterans’ Affairs reports that one in five combat veterans develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, either during or shortly after combat. The Mayo Clinic defines PTSD as having three main categories of symptoms: “re-experiencing symptoms,” “avoidance symptoms,” ... Views: 1972
The Grand Jury file on reports filed against Sandusky in the Penn State Sex abuse scandal illustrates some of the most egregious rationalizing (right up there with the Catholic Church's sexual abuse of children) in our country. There are some people involved who attempted to do the right thing ... Views: 1110
Contrary to misinformation spread by "experts" online, covert narcissists are not cunning and manipulative. Classic narcissists are: they often disguise their true nature effectively, knowingly, and intentionally. They are persistent actors with great thespian skills. Not so the covert ... Views: 3871
For several years, the VA has been under fire for repeated instances of negligence. Reports released by CBS in 2013 revealed that medical professionals associated with the VA prescribed 259% more narcotics than in 2002, and that individualized therapy had fallen by the wayside. An affiliate of ... Views: 1136
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views: 1018
When someone is abused as a child, it is highly likely that they are going to have trouble feeling safe in life. This would have been something that they first experienced when they were growing up and something that has stayed with them throughout their adult years.
So for some people, it ... Views: 1781
“It comes from saying No to 1000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do to much.” Steve Jobs
Are you beginning to see where we need our tools, ability to say No, ability to make requests, ability to speak our truth in order be a good leader, and in order to be able ... Views: 1128
From the moment someone is born, their mother has incredible power over them. She has the power to build them up or the power to tear them down. Ideally, one would have had a mother who was: loving, supportive and kind, for instance. But there are also people out there who had the complete ... Views: 1733
Do you have an addiction you simply can’t seem to get rid of? Try these techniques to help you boost success:
Improve your mental and physical health
It takes mental stamina and physical health to prevent relapsing. Trying to fight off an addiction is very draining mentally and physically. ... Views: 1717
How would you know if you were the only sane person in an insane asylum? Now imagine yourself as a child with no prior knowledge of what is sane or normal. How would a child know if they were a sane person in a family with disturbed parents?
A significant part of the trauma of growing up ... Views: 4103
We’ve probably all seen a parent impatiently talking in angry, disrespectful, condescending, tones to a child. WE might have been that parent at one time or another.
Did you know that by talking in disrespectful ways to yourself or others the interaction can leave negative imprints on the ... Views: 849
When someone has experienced some kind of abuse as a child and this could be physical emotional, verbal or sexual, there is often the need to recover as fast as possible. To look for the answers and to find the solution or solutions that will make everything better.
This is natural and must ... Views: 1730
There are many forms of bullying around today and some of these are more overt than others. At times, this is done in a way that is so subtle, that it can take place without anyone even noticing.
And while bullying has taken place for many, many years, and is nothing new, the internet has ... Views: 1783
There are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ... Views: 1943
To be abused as a child is going to have the potential to cause all kinds of problems and these problems are unlikely to just end there. They could end up affecting this person for the rest of their adult life. And to what degree their adult life is affected will depend on many factors.
... Views: 1726
When someone experiences some kind of abuse in their adult relationships, there is often the chance that they will identify with one of two outlooks. They can either see that this abuse is a reflection of what took place during their childhood or they can come to the conclusion that their ... Views: 1873
Just because someone has experienced some kind of abuse or has had to endure some other kind of pain, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to move on from it. Because although one could be innocent and have nothing to do with what happened, as in the case of child abuse, it doesn’t mean that ... Views: 1823
While one can have grown into an adult and therefore left their childhood behind them, it doesn’t mean that they have completely moved on from those early years. Ones childhood influences them in ways that are obvious and in ways that are more or less oblivious.
It is a time that plays a ... Views: 1883