While there are some people who are in touch with their anger, there are others who are out of touch with it. As a result of this, these people can end up coming across as being radically different.

Full of Energy

When it comes to the former, they can find it easy to stand their ground, and to say no when they don’t want to do something. This is going to stop them from behaving in a passive manner.

There is then going to be no reason for them to focus on other people needs, and to do what they want. One will be in touch with their own need and feelings, and this is what will allow them to express their true-self.

It Safe

And the reason why they are able to behave in this way is going to be because they feel comfortable enough to do so. Speaking their truth is then not going to be something that will cause them to be overwhelmed with fear.

This is not to say that one will always feel comfortable doing this, as there are likely to be times when it doesn’t happen. But as this will be exception as opposed to the rule, it is unlikely to be something that will bother them.


When it comes to latter, one can find that it is a challenge for them to stand their ground, and to say no when they don’t want to do something. This can then cause them to behave in a passive manner.

One can be in a position where they focus on other people’s needs and feelings, and this will cause them to ignore themselves. This can mean that one won’t even be aware of what their needs and feelings are.

It’s not safe

If one was to reflect on why they behave in this way, they may find that this is what feels safe. They might wonder what it would be like to feel comfortable enough to live their truth.

Still, this doesn’t mean that one will always behave in this way, and that they won’t have moments when they will listen to their feelings and needs. But as this is likely to be something that rarely takes place, it is going to cause them to suffer.


One could spend a lot of their life feeling down and as though they can’t be bothered to do anything. The reason they feel this way can be the result of everything that has built up within them over the years.

There will be the anger that they don’t allow themselves to experience, and there will be the emotional pain they have experienced through being this way. If one was to think about their experience, it could be as if they are carrying a heavy weight.

In Control

When one is in touch with their anger, there is going to be no reason for their anger to build up within them. In most cases, they will be able to take action when they get angry about something.

It is through feeling angry that one will be able to realise that something isn’t right; whereas if they were unable to experience anger, they wouldn’t know. This is then the same as how a light will appear on a car dashboard when a car is low on fuel.


If this light didn’t appear on the dashboard, it would be a lot harder for people to know when it was time to refuel. What this shows is how one’s anger is not good or bad; it is simply there to let them know when something isn’t right.

So, when one can listen to how they feel, it is naturally going to make their life a lot easier. If they ignore how they feel, they will be ignoring something that is there to make it easier for them to protect themselves and to fulfil their needs.

Out of Touch

Yet, when one is generally out of touch with their anger, there is likely to be a lot of anger that has built up within them. As they have the tendency to behave in this way, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

This is then going to stop one from having the ability to realise when something isn’t right; they won’t be aware of the information that is within them. It is then going to be normal for one to be walked over by others and to feel depressed, amongst other things.

Out of Control

However, if one was to get angry about something, they could end up coming across as though they are possessed. They could verbally or physically attack someone, and it could be hard for other people to understand what has come over them.

The smallest thing could then have caused one to behave as if something really bad has taken place. What this will show is that all the anger that has built up over the years has ended up coming to the surface.

The Fallout

Through losing control, one could end up harming something or someone, and this can cause them to believe that they have behaved in the right way up until this point. One can feel extremely guilty and ashamed of what they have done.

This can then cause one to behave in the same way as they did before, and it might only be a matter of time before something like this happens again. In order for one to experience life differently, they will need to face the very thing that they are trying to avoid.

A Closer Look

When one doesn’t feel comfortable with their anger, it can be due to what took place when they were younger. If they got angry during this time, they might have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have meant that it wasn’t safe for them to get angry.

This would have been a time when one would have had to disconnect from their anger and the other feelings that they experienced. Along with this, there will also be the pain that they haven’t dealt with in their adult life.


If one wants to change their circumstances, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the opportunity to change what they believe about their anger and let go of the emotional pain that has built up within them.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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