Divorce Mixed Messages: Should I Ask My Husband Why He's Sending Mixed Signals About Divorce

Most couples end their marriage in divorce when they do not know how to save their marriage. If you can identify the signs of divorce appearing in your marriage, you can then work things out and remain married.

You may find yourself constantly arguing with your spouse even if it is a small matter. It just seems that whatever you do will stir up an argument. It is no longer easy to communicate with your spouse about what you need.

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No Intimacy
One of the most recognized signs of a divorce is lack of intimacy in your marriage. If you or your spouse is showing no or very little interest in intimacy, this mean something could have went wrong in your marriage and moreover, intimacy is the act that remain both of you as husband and wife.

No longer sharing secrets or information
If your marriage is in a shaky situation, it likely your partner will no longer share secrets or information with you about his or her life. You also sometime realize that you are always the last to know about the important information of your spouse and normally you hear it from another friend to know the news.

Always not at home
Home is normally the place that we will turn to at the end of our day. If either one of you is always giving excuses not to go home early, it is obvious that you are avoiding to face someone, so you prefer to hang around outside with your friends or colleagues, seeking replacement to fill the absence.

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This relationship advice for women is something that might not make sense initially but will take a bit of thinking to realize that it's actually true. There's always this talk about having balance in a relationship and how important it is to have balance so that there's mutual respect and affection, etc. This simply isn't true. If there was balance, then it would be boring. We all need a little bit of drama in our lives, especially if you're married. Boredom is the enemy of a happy marriage. Imbalance is not only desired, but mandatory if you want to make it to your 10 year anniversary. I'll explain why below.

1. The Stages

When you're young and in the throes of passion that come with high testosterone and hormones, you want to simply go where your heart takes you. You feel invincible and simply feel like you can take over the world.

Fast forward 10 years. You're older, more mature and realize that you have priorities now. You can have fun, but it's never going to be as wild as it was when you were in your teens. You get married. The fun drops even less, since you're now tied down. Is it possible to have fun at all?

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2. Spontaneity

It is possible to have fun, you just have to put in more effort to have it. If you have a balanced schedule, it is fun to simply forget about it and go away for a weekend with your man and do something you love.

If you usually have a quiet night at home on a Friday, what's stopping you from going out with your man and trawling the streets for some risque entertainment? Do something that gets your heart pumping.

3. In The Relationship

In the relationship itself, if both people respect each other, the relationship will never grow. Imbalance is needed to always further improve the relationship. When one person wears the pants in the relationship, it is crucial that the other person somehow wrestles the pants away from them.

When this happens, both people learn something: the person who wore the pants has learned about respect and humility. The person who now has the pants has learned self-respect and confidence. This would not have resulted if there was balance in the first place.

This relationship advice for women is something you should focus on to improve your relationship. Remember, it's good to be imbalanced. Only then can we grow and only then can we have fun and make sure that we last longer in the marriage. Without fun, there can't be any love either too.

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There are so many different ways that a spark can be reignited between two people. Did you know that it is the little things that have the long-lasting effects of creating love.

If you are feeling that your relationship could use rekindling here are some things that you could do. Here are several specific tips for rekindling.

1. Make eye contact

Do you look at your partner when your partner is speaking to you? How about when you are speaking to your partner? Making eye contact is a genuine way of connecting. It shows your partner that you care about what he/she is saying. Make a conscious effort to be mentally present. Both making eye contact and being mentally present convey a genuine interest in the other person.

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2. Do little acts of random kindness

What would please your partner? Try doing something little like picking up after yourself, wiping the kitchen counter, remembering to do what you have taken on as your responsibilities. How about calling to say "I love you" for no other reason than that you mean it. If you have said you would do something then following up and completing it. Spend that extra minute thinking of what you know you could do that would please your partner. How about a little touch or a kiss to show that you value your partner?

3. Think of what you can do that would please your partner

Most couples who have been together for a while get into habits where they take each other for granted. They forget that relationships require daily attention in order to remain vibrant. For love to blossom it takes a constant infusion of little acts of random kindness.

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If one person has virtually all the power that creates an unhealthy dynamic and it needs to be healed or the relationship will dwindle away to its bitter end. Even in the most successful relationships there is a balance of power in relationships.

As unpleasant as it might be to confess, the balance of power in relationships typically revolves around who has the money.

If one person contributes more financially to the relationship in many cases they will be the one with the most power. The other person is often extremely unwilling to disagree or argue with the 'powerful' person.

Given that finding true love and how to have a good relationship needs to be more of an even partnership, this mis-match in power is rarely conducive to a stable, successful relationship.

Only in not-so-common of cases where the individual who has the financial stronghold, does not need to 'use' their power, can this type of dynamic work well for both people in the love relationship.

Much of the time it becomes an inferiority complex situation for one person in the relationship to seem like they 'owe' the other person something.

Because of this type of circumstance, it's far too simple to end up being a door mat.

This power/inferior type situation between couples is what the Course in Miracles teaches to be the "special love relationship."

We're used to thinking that special indicates wonderful, but rather it truly defines separation.

It is "special" in a sense that it is not whole because it is built on thoughts of separateness.

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You both need to be on the exact same page where power in relationships is concerned, to the way you see the successful relationship.

If you talk to each other and talk about problems before going out, and, for example, making huge purchases or a huge decision on a matter, it's normally best.

It will take a great deal of maturity for both parties to avoid falling into this trap.

If one of you gets a new job in another town, or your career suddenly demands extensive travel, you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it.

This self-centeredness takes away from the holiness being the foundation of the love relationship built on the rock of wholeness.

The Course in Miracles states, "But remember this; the goal of holiness was set for your relationship, and not by you."

Most of us intuitively, from the shared love within ourselves, understand these things and know that each of you does have some balance of power in relationships.

In order to develop a balance of power in relationships that works for both of you, the love that has you connected must mold your relationship.

From the start for how to have a good relationship, develop the kind of interconnectedness where both of your opinions matter.

Successful relationships need this oneness of heart and mind, where the two of you talk about things in a fully grown manner and agree as-one to all that we face in this world.

Because it's much more difficult once the two you seem to be separate instead of whole, it's constantly best to do that from the beginning.

Couples who do not have an excellent handle on the power in relationships are headed for needing much relationship help.

Remember, finding true love and building successful relationships means a balance of power. The more at-one the balance of power is, the much better the relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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