What allows one to have their own life on this planet is not just their physical body; it is also the fact that they have their own needs and feelings. If they didn’t have their own needs and feelings, it wouldn’t matter if they had their own body – or vehicle.

The reason for this is that although they would be physically separate, their life would be an expression of someone else’s needs and feelings. It would then be a complete waste of time for them to have their own body as their life wouldn’t be an expression of who they are.

Important Elements

Taking this into account, it shows how vital ones needs and feelings are and that they can’t be overlooked. If they are, their life won’t have a lot to do with who they truly are; it will merely be a reflection of other people.

Therefore, if one is in touch with who they are and they pay attention to the information that is within them, it will allow them to live a life that is fulfilling. On the other hand, if they overlook what is going on with them, this won’t be the case.

The Only Choice

However, although it will be clear what the best option is, it doesn’t mean that everyone expresses who they are. There will be some people that do, while there will be others that don’t.

Furthermore, even If someone’s doesn’t express who they are, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. Through having experienced life in this way for so long, they will be unaware of what is actually going on.

Paying the Price

Nonetheless, not having this connection with themselves won’t necessarily prevent them from suffering. Not expressing who they are could cause them to experience emotional pain from time to time, yet they could end up covering it up.

They might have a number of different ways to push this pain out of their conscious awareness. But even if this does take place, this pain won’t have been completely removed from their being.

Here, But Not Here

Physically one will be here, but their true-self won’t see the light of day, which is why they will suffer. And even if someone is in touch with their needs and feelings, if they don’t pay attention to what is going on inside them, their life is not going to be much better.

Unlike the person who is not aware of this, they will know only too well that they are not expressing who they are. Being aware of this will probably mean that it will be even harder for them to carry on with how things are.

A Time for a Change

It could be said that someone like this will need to change their behaviour and to no longer hide who they are. If someone is not aware of the fact that they are hiding themselves, it is highly unlikely that they will try to change their behaviour.

For someone like this to change, they might need to go through something dramatic, such as a break up or a loss. Going through something like this would be painful, but it could be what allows their false-self to crack open and to fall away.

Another Way

What one may find, that’s if they were to try to change their behaviour, is that they end up experiencing a lot of fear. This fear could be so intense that it just isn’t possible for them to take the next step.

If they were able to take a step back, and to look into why they experience so much fear, what they could find is that they believe that they would be abandoned if they revealed themselves. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is only a belief - it is not the truth.

It Goes Deeper

Questioning this belief and the thoughts that go with it might be enough for them to gradually express who they are. Conversely, one could find that doing this doesn’t make it any easier for them to express who they are.

What this could show is that they are carrying the pain of being abandoned, and this may have been something that took place throughout their early years. In this case, one won’t just have a fear of being abandoned; they will also carry the pain of being abandoned.

A Traumatic Time

Whenever they were left at this stage of their life, it would have most likely felt as though their life was going to end. They would have been overwhelmed with emotional pain and there wouldn’t have been anything that they could have done to handle this pain.

The only option would have been for them to shut down and to leave their body. Many years will have passed since that stage of their life, but the pain that they experienced will have stayed inside them.


In addition to the pain that they experienced through being left, they may have also experienced a lot of shame. Being left would have been taken personally due to being egocentric as this stage of their life; in reality, it had nothing to do with their value and everything to do with what was going on for their caregiver/s.

If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.