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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Child Abuse: Did A Highly Critical Parent Externalise Their Inner Critic? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s formative years, they may have had at least one parent who was very harsh. If so, it would have been normal for them to be put down by this parent and treated like they were nothing. Therefore, even if there were moments when this parent did treat them differently, it ...
Views: 237 - Child Abuse: Did An Abusive Parent Blame Their Child For What Their Abusive Parent Did To Them? - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone could struggle to get their head around, if they were abused as a child, is why their parent treated them in this way. The person who was supposed to love and cherish them wouldn’t have done so. If they had been harmed by someone at school or a stranger, for instance, it would ...
Views: 231 - Child Abuse: Did An Abusive Parent Consciously Choose To Harm Their Child? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone can believe, if they were mistreated during their early years, is that their parent or parents did this on purpose. They then did what they could to undermine their child as opposed to doing what they could to build them up. Assuming that it was one parent who did this; they ...
Views: 213 - Child Abuse: Did An Abusive Parent Lose Touch With Reality During Their Childhood? - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was mistreated during their formative years, they might soon find out that the parent that abused them is not willing to acknowledge what took place. Assuming it was one parent, they might have been told, on numerous occasions, that what they say happened didn’t happen. It then ...
Views: 254 - Child Abuse: Did Your Parents Make Out That You Were Perfect? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was asked to talk about what takes place when a child is abused, they could say that they will be physically harmed or verbally put down. Alternatively, they could say that they will be neglected. Then again, one could mention all of these things, meaning that it won’t just relate ...
Views: 716 - Child Abuse: Do Parents Lack Empathy When They Deny What Happened? - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperOver six years ago, I wrote an article titled, ‘Abusive Parents: Why Do They Deny What Happened?’ In terms of the amount of comments that I have received for this article, it has to be one of the most popular articles that I have ever written. I wrote this article at a time when I was trying ...
Views: 1533 - Child Abuse: Do Some Parents Try To Live Their Lives Through Their Children? - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough there are certain things that children need in order to develop into well-functioning adults, it doesn’t mean that they will always receive these things. Now, it could be said that it is not always going to be possible for a child to get their needs met. However, this is not going ...
Views: 1516 - Child Abuse: Do Some People Go From Being Abused By Their Parents To Abusing Their Parents? - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIt could be said that not everyone is brought up by parents who treat them in the right way, and this can have a big effect on how they will experience life as an adult. For some people, this would have been a time when they were abused on a regular basis, for others, this would have taken place ...
Views: 1404 - Child Abuse: Does A Child Need To Be ‘Physically Disciplined’? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperThere is a video circulating online where two police officers visit a home, after being informed that a child is being abused. It starts with a police officer saying to a woman, “We’re here to investigate a child abuse complaint”. The woman then responds with, “I didn’t call the police”. Soon ...
Views: 170 - Child Abuse: Does Child Abuse Cause Mental And Emotional Problems? - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperFor quite some time now, it has been said that there are a lot of people who are not in a good way internally. When something like this is spoken about in the media, the words ‘depression’, ‘anxiety’ and ‘suicidal’ are often mentioned. It can then seem as though this is a fairly new problem ...
Views: 842 - Child Abuse: Does Low Self-Worth Get Past From One Generation To Another? - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to whether or not someone has a felt sense of their own worth, it can all depend on what their early years were like. Now, this is not to say that if someone’s early years were not very nurturing, it won’t be possible for them to develop it as an adult. The truth is that this is ...
Views: 557 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Have The Right To Hurt Their Parents If They Were Abused By Them? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that someone can experience, that’s if they have come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years, is a lot of rage. In fact, they can feel so mad that ending one or both of their parent’s life could enter their mind. Due to how they feel, it could be as if they ...
Views: 302 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Need To Develop An Adult Self In Order To Move On From Child Abuse? - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused during their early years, they may find that it is not possible for them to put the past behind them. A number of decades may have passed since that time in their life, but it could be as if very little time has passed. And although their caregivers didn’t treat them ...
Views: 793 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Need To Forgive Themselves If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone may see that they were abused as a child, it doesn’t mean that this is something they have realised for very long. If they have been aware of this for a little while, it doesn’t mean that they were very young when this became clear. The main reason as to why it would have ...
Views: 604 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Need To Move On If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThe beginning of someone’s life is supposed to be a time when they will receive what they need in order to grow and develop in the right way. When this takes place, their developmental needs are generally going to be met. As a result of this, they are likely to have the resources that they ...
Views: 1424 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Need To Realise Their Abusive Parents Were Deeply Wounded In Order To Move Forward? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to come to see that they were abused during their formative years, a number of things could be on their mind. They could want to know why their parent/parents harmed them, for them to validate what they went through and to apologise. However, although they will want to progress ...
Views: 356 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Need To ‘Stop Blaming Their Parents’ If They Were Abused? - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperAt this point in time, one could be in a position where they believe that their parents are to blame for what they are going through. This could show that their life is in a mess and they may have mental and emotional problems. Perhaps they have only had this outlook for a short while, or ...
Views: 529 - Child Abuse: How Can Someone Be Compassionate Towards The People Who Abused Them? - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was treated badly during the beginning of their life, by the very people who were supposed to love and protect them, the last thing on their mind can be to show them compassion. In fact, what they could think about is how they would like to get revenge for what was done to them. ...
Views: 1093 - Child Abuse: How Can Someone Develop A Sense Of Safety And Security After Being Abused? - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIn the same way that a house will need strong foundations, a human being will also need strong foundations. When strong foundations are laid down for a house, this part will be strong enough to handle the other levels that are added, and, when it comes to a human being, strong foundations will ...
Views: 1073 - Child Abuse: How Can Someone Move On If They Have An Emotionally Unavailable Parent? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperWhat one may have come to see is that their parent wasn’t emotionally available during early years and, now that they are adult, this parent is no different. As a result of this, the pain that they experienced as a child could continue to this day. It then won’t be a case of what took place ...
Views: 743 - Child Abuse: If Someone Wasting Their Time If They Are Trying To Be Seen By An Abusive Parent? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven if someone was brought up by at least one parent who was unable to truly see them and is still unable to do so, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. Due to this, now that they are an adult, they could spend a lot of their time and energy trying to be seen by this ...
Views: 259 - Child Abuse: Is An Abusive Parents Inability To Acknowledge Their Abusive Behaviour A Sign Of How Damaged They Are? - by Submitted on May 10, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAfter suffering for many, many years, someone may have come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years. Therefore, it is not that they were born this way and/or simply can’t get it together. No, it is that they were deprived of the love that they needed in order to grow and ...
Views: 267 - Child Abuse: Is An Abusive Parents Lack Of Self-Awareness A Defence Against Pain? - by Submitted on May 05, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone could find, if they were to speak to the parent who mistreated them during their formative years – assuming it was only one - is that they are unable to make much headway. Based on how this parent responds, it could be as if they are talking to someone who wasn’t actually there ...
Views: 241 - Child Abuse: Is Anger An Important Part Of Healing From Child Abuse? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ...
Views: 2149 - Child Abuse: Is Child Abuse A Form Of Indirect Revenge? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused by one or both of their caregivers during their early years, it can be hard for them to understand why this was. One question that can enter their mind is: why would the people who were supposed to love and care for me treat me so badly? This can be a question that they ...
Views: 756 - Child Abuse: Is Child Abuse One Of The Reasons Why So Many People Have Mental And Emotional Problems? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIn recent years, a lot has been said about the amount of people that are not in a good way mentally and emotionally. Alongside this, a number of solutions have been put forward. One thing that is often recommended, if someone is not in a good way, is that they open up to friends or family ...
Views: 1038 - Child Abuse: Is Feeling Safe An Important Part Of Healing From Child Abuse? - by Submitted on May 12, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone is abused as a child, it is highly likely that they are going to have trouble feeling safe in life. This would have been something that they first experienced when they were growing up and something that has stayed with them throughout their adult years. So for some people, it ...
Views: 1994 - Child Abuse: Is It A Form Of Indirect Revenge When A Parent Abuses Their Child? - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years, they could find it hard to get their head around what happened. But, as their own parent or parents will have been the ones who didn’t treat them well, this is not going to be much of a surprise. This person ...
Views: 210 - Child Abuse: Is It A Good Idea For Someone To Find Out About Their Parents Childhood If They Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on May 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperThanks to the ability that someone’s brain has to block out pain and then for their conscious mind to forget about the past, it can take a while for them to realise that they were abused. As a result of this, their life can be one big challenge but they won’t be able to join the dots, so to ...
Views: 307 - Child Abuse: Is It A Surprise That Some Parents Deny They Were Abusive? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone comes to see that their early years were a time when they were not treated very well, there are a number of things that can take place. Firstly, they can start to think about what they can do to heal the damage that was caused, and, secondly, they can have the need to talk about what ...
Views: 971 - Child Abuse: Is It Clear To See That Abusive Parents Were Also Abused By Their Parents? - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to see that they were abused as a child, they can struggle with two questions. Firstly, they can wonder why their own parents treated them so badly, and secondly, they can wonder why their parents would repeat what was done to them. These two questions can consume their mind a ...
Views: 679 - Child Abuse: Is It Normal For Someone To Feel Guilty After Their Abusive Parent Passes On? - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone had parent who was abusive during their early years, it can be hard for them to get on with them now that they are an adult. The reason for this is that this parent could be in denial when it comes to what took place all those years ago. Or, this parent could make out that one ...
Views: 735 - Child Abuse: Is It Normal For Someone To Idealise One Parent And To Demonise The Other? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected during their early years, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of this. Due to how much time has passed and the defences that they have in place, they might not be able to remember what took place at this stage of their life. Then again, they might ...
Views: 531 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Engaging In Repetition Compulsion If They Are Looking For Their Abusive Parents To See Them? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone grew up with at least one parent who was unable to truly see them, they are likely to have a strong need to be seen now that they are an adult. In addition to this need, though, they can also have a fear of being seen. When it comes to their need to be seen, this will relate to ...
Views: 271 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Engaging In Repetition Compulsion If They Are Looking For Their Parents To Acknowledge They Were Abusive? - by Submitted on May 01, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter coming to see that their early years were anything but nurturing, someone could spend a fair amount of time trying to get through to their parent/parents. This could be something that hasn’t been going on for very long. Then again, this could be something that has been taking place for ...
Views: 334 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Wasting Their Time If They Are Trying To Get Through To Their Abusive Parent? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was mistreated during their formative years, they might not be in a good way now that they are an adult. In fact, their life could be one big struggle, with them wondering if they even want to be alive. However, even if they are not in a good way, it doesn’t mean that they will ...
Views: 317 - Child Abuse: Is There Something Wrong With People Who Are Abused As Children? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperTo be abused as a child is going to have the potential to cause all kinds of problems and these problems are unlikely to just end there. They could end up affecting this person for the rest of their adult life. And to what degree their adult life is affected will depend on many factors. ...
Views: 1898 - Child Abuse: Should Someone Expect Other People To Empathise Them If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThe beginning of someone’s life can be a time when they received what they needed in order to develop into a well-adjusted adult. As a result of this, they will now have what they need to handle life. Now, this is not to say that their life will be plain sailing; what it comes down to is ...
Views: 1697 - Child Abuse: Someone Be Emotionally Disconnected If They Had A Parent Who Was Emotionally Blind? - by Submitted on May 21, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs an adult, someone may be in a position where they don’t have a strong connection with their feelings. If this is the case, they are going to miss out on a lot of valuable information. The reason for this is that this part of them is there to provide them with feedback. This feedback will ...
Views: 276 - Child Abuse: Was An Abusive Parent Abusing A Part Of Themselves? - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to become aware of the fact that they were mistreated during their early years, they can have a strong need to find out why this took place. Along with this, a big part of them can feel as though they deserved to be treated badly. However, the reason that they can also feel ...
Views: 317 - Child Abuse: Was Someone Being Punished If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused as a child, they might not realise that this is what actually took place. They can then have a number of different problems, but they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak. One can have mental and emotional problems and their relationships can be anything but ...
Views: 538 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Being Assertive If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that someone may find, that’s if they were abused and/or neglected as a child, is that it is hard for them to stand their ground. In other words, it will be a challenge for them to be assertive. As a result of this, it will be normal for other people to walk over them and for them ...
Views: 669 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Being Seen If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Nov 01, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected when they were a child, it may be hard for them to reveal who they are now that they are an adult. What could feel comfortable is hiding from others and hiding when they are around others. However, even though this is what can take place, it doesn’t mean ...
Views: 895 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Intimacy If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected during their early years, it could be hard for them to get close to others. Their early years would have been a time when the people that were supposed to love and protect them crossed their boundaries on a daily basis and violated them in a number of other ...
Views: 817 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Other People If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected as a child, they might not have a favourable view of their fellow human beings. As a result of this, they will be part of the human race but they can feel the need to keep their distance from others. Through being this way, their life is likely to be far ...
Views: 770 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Saying ‘No’ If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected as a child, one thing that they may struggle with as an adult is saying no. Thanks to this, they can have the tendency to say yes when they would rather not do something. This is going to mean that they will go along with things that they don’t really ...
Views: 696 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About The Opposite Sex If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that early abuse and/or neglect can do is set someone up to have serious relationships problems as an adult. They could be used to having relationships that are dysfunctional. Then again, it could be far worse, with them having had a number of relationships that were abusive. They ...
Views: 1045 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Their Needs If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne outcome of early abuse and/or neglected is that someone may find that it is hard for them to fulfil their needs now that they are an adult. What could be normal for them is taking care of other people’s needs. As a result of this, they are going to spend a lot of time being there for ...
Views: 673 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Their Own Existence If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused and/or neglected as a child, it may have stopped them from realising that they deserve to be here. As a result of what took place, it can be as if they have no right to be on this planet. What took place at this stage of their life will then define how they experience ...
Views: 758 - Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Their Own Worth If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the effects of early abuse and/or neglect is that one can have no sense of their own value as an adult. Deep down, they can feel as though they have absolutely no value whatsoever. As a result of this, it will probably be hard for them to feel comfortable in their own skin and they ...
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