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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- False Self: Can Toxic Shame Create A False Self? - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere is often said to be a false self and a true self, and if one is into psychology or self development, they’re likely to have heard about these terms. If one hasn’t, they might sound a bit mysterious and something that one can’t relate to. But if these descriptions are put to one side ...
Views: 2981 - Smothered Or Abandoned: Do You Alternate Between Feeling Smothered And Abandoned? - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperHuman beings have the need to reach out and to connect and the need to pull away and be by themselves. This is normal and the amount of time that is required with another and by oneself is naturally going to vary from person to person. It can come down to what is going in their life and how they ...
Views: 1659 - Emotional Awareness: Is Emotional Awareness An Important Part Healing Our Emotional Body? - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to what one needs to do to get into physical shape or what they need to eat in order to be healthy, there is plenty of advice available. In fact, it is not so much about getting the advice that is the problem, nowadays, it is often more about what advice to follow and what advice ...
Views: 1586 - Human Chameleon: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Be A Human Chameleon? - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some people who are able to be themselves, and while they can adapt, this is not something that always takes place. Not only do they have a sense of themselves, but more importantly, they will feel that it is safe for them to be themselves. At times, they’re going to understand the ...
Views: 1675 - The Media: Does The Media Cause Toxic Shame? - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how people feel, the mainstream media can play a vital role. This is because so many people are plugged into the media and how their views of reality are defined by it. However, it is not just someone’s perception of reality that will be created for them, how they view ...
Views: 1549 - Abuse: Have You Gone From Being A Victim To Being A Perpetrator? - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is often said that abuse is passed down from one generation to another and it can be hard for people to understand why this happens. However, the next generation are not the only ones who can end up being abused; it is also something that can affect the people who the abuser comes into ...
Views: 1982 - Emotionally Expressive: How Can Someone Become More Emotionally Expressive? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how human beings communicate with each other, there are many different aspects involved. During those moments where one is face to face with another, it is not just what comes out of their mouth that matters. If one was talking to someone through text, email or via social ...
Views: 9571 - Belonging: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Feel As Though They Don't Belong? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperHuman beings have an inherent need to belong and when this need is not fulfilled, it can lead to all kinds of problems. Many years ago, if one wasn’t part of the tribe, their time on this earth would soon come to an end. In some parts of the world this is still going to be the case, however, ...
Views: 2679 - Sadness: Why Do Some People Always Feel Sad? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone had to choose between feeling happy or feeling sad, they’re likely to choose the second option; being happy feels good and being sad feels bad. Based on this outlook, one feeling is seen as being better than the other. But just because feeling happy feels better than feeling sad, it ...
Views: 1651 - Music: Can The Music We Listen To Stop Us From Being Able To Let Go? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperNo matter where one is from on this planet, what colour their skin is or their social standing, they’re likely to listen to music. Very few things have the power to bring people together and this is one of the reasons why music is so powerful. The fact that there are different styles can ...
Views: 1630 - Self Harm: Can Toxic Shame Lead To Self Harm? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is not uncommon to hear how important it is to be kind to others and while this is important, it is also important for people to be kind to themselves. In fact, if one is kind to themselves, they‘re more likely to be kind to other people. The reason there is a greater focus on how someone ...
Views: 2266 - Bad Behaviour: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Put Up With Bad Behaviour? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to bad behaviour, there are some people who put up with it and then there are others who have a very low tolerance for it. This is not to say that this is always black and white; as there are going people who alternate between the two. Ideally, one will be in a position where ...
Views: 1705 - Human Doings: Does Toxic Shame Turn People Into Human Doings? - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf an alien came to planet earth and asked someone who they are, one is likely to say that they’re a human being. But without needing an alien to land on the earth, this is the description that one could use. However, although one is a human being, it doesn’t mean that one acts like one. ...
Views: 1587 - Relationships: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Believe They’re Not Enough For The Opposite Sex? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile each gender has the same value, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels this way. One can believe that men/women are worth more and this is then going to cause them to feel less than the opposite sex. This could stop one from being able to have an intimate relationship on one side and on ...
Views: 1564 - Self Development: Can Toxic Shame Cause People To Be Obsessed With Self Development? - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt could be said that we live in the age of self improvement and this is not limited to one area of life. In America for instance, the self help industry takes in billions of dollars every year. So there is the chance for one to ‘improve’ their mind, body, physical appearance, relationships and ...
Views: 1793 - Toxic Shame: From One Generation To Another - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are certain things that can be passed on from one generation to another that are beneficial and life affirming. This could relate manners, values and etiquette. These aspects will not only affect how one lives their life, the lives of others are also going to be affected. Through being ...
Views: 1657 - Self Worth: Do You Alternate Between Feeling Really Good And Really Bad? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile the ideal might be for one to experience a balanced sense of self worth, this is not always what takes place. Instead, one might experience life in such a way that they feel up one moment and down the next. This is not to say that one won’t have moments where they don’t feel up or ...
Views: 1508 - Needs: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Put Other People's Needs First? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is a challenge for some people to put their needs first and this is going to mean that they have a pattern of putting the needs of others first. This may mean that one takes care of their needs after, but it could also mean that one’s needs are not met. And while being selfless is often ...
Views: 1532 - Relationships: Do You Always Blame Other People For Your Relationship Problems? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere can be times when ones relationships are free from problems and then there can be moments when this is not the case. One could also be in a position where this is the only thing they know and they have never experienced relationships that have flowed. Conflict Conflict is then ...
Views: 1510(1 vote) - The Media: Are Human Beings Too Irrational To Be Exposed To The Media? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, their day is not complete unless they’re kept up to date by the news. And this can come about through listening to the radio, watching TV or reading a newspaper. These options can also be put to one side with how far technology has come and one only needs to use their phone. ...
Views: 1301 - Toxic Shame: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Experience Toxic Shame? - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile one has inherent worth, it doesn’t mean that they’re able to realise this. And when this is the case, it is likely to be due to the toxic shame that they’re carrying within them. As all the time one is carrying this within them, it is going to make it more or less impossible for them to ...
Views: 1402 - Thoughts: Do Our Thoughts Create Our Feelings? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIn recent times, people have become more aware of how powerful their thoughts are and while the power of one’s thoughts is nothing new, it was not something that was as well known in the past. And the reason more people are aware of the power of their thoughts is partly down to the internet. ...
Views: 2146 - Selfies: Why Are Some People Obsessed With Selfies? - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThrough the introduction of social media, people have been able to express themselves in ways that were not available in the past. People can share how they feel, where they are and where they are going, amongst others things. But one is not limited to words when comes to what is taking ...
Views: 1970 - Unsafe: Do Some People's Childhoods Cause Them Up Believe That The World Is Unsafe? - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some areas of the planet are far from safe, there are other areas on the planet that are the complete opposite. And due to what the media covers, one can end up coming to the conclusion that the whole world is unsafe. Now, this doesn’t mean that one’s safety will be guaranteed if they ...
Views: 1402 - Self Neglect: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Neglect Themselves? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile one may find it easy to take care of other people’s needs, they might find it hard to take care of their own needs. Putting other people’s needs first and being ‘selfless’ is often glorified; whereas if one puts their needs first, they can end up being portrayed as ‘selfish’. But to ...
Views: 2574 - Feelings: Why Do Some People Believe That Their Feelings Are Not Important? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperPart of being human means that one has feelings and these are an important part of who they are. And when one is in tune with how they feel, their life is going to be radically different to how it would be if they were unaware of how they felt. Ones feelings not only connect them to ...
Views: 2382 - Repressed Emotions: How Can Someone Know If They Have Repressed Emotions? - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough emotions are meant to flow, this is not something that always happens. This is not to say that one should always express how they feel; as this is not always going to be appropriate. What it will involve, is for one to accept how they feel and then to contain their emotional ...
Views: 1979 - False Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Cause Them To Develop A False Self? - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some people who are in touch with who they are, and then there are some people who are not. But while some people are going to be aware of the fact that they are out of touch with themselves, there are going to be other people who are not aware However, when one is in touch with ...
Views: 1926 - Emotional Awareness: Is Emotional Awareness An Important Part Of Being Able To Take Responsibility For How We Feel? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperEach experience that one has in life is going to play a part in how they feel. In some cases, how one feels will reflect what has taken place and at other times, it won’t. And this is because what has happened externally has triggered feelings from the past. This inner experience could ...
Views: 1683 - Letting Go: Is Feeling Safe An Important Part Of Letting Go? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one is unable to let go, they’re going to end up using their energy to hold onto what they no longer need. And as they no longer need what they’re holding onto, it is not going to affect their ability to receive anything new. What one is holding onto no longer has a purpose and it is ...
Views: 1823 - Self Understanding: Can Suffering Lead To Self Understanding? - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it is relatively easy to notice what is taking place in the outside world, the same can’t be said when to comes to what is taking place within ones inner world. From the moment one is born, they’re going to pick up information about the world and this is likely to continue until the day ...
Views: 1407 - Needs: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Disconnect From Their Needs? - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperPart of being human means that one has needs and this is not something that can be changed. It is possible for one to deny that they have needs, but this won’t cause their needs to simply disappear. Ideally, one will be in touch with their needs and it will then be possible for their needs ...
Views: 1503 - People Pleasing: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Please Others? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIf one is in a position where they’re pleasing other people from time to time, it is unlikely to have a negative effect on their life. However, when one pleases other people as a way of life it is going to have a negative effect on their life. And while it is harming their life and stopping ...
Views: 1479 - Projection: Do You Project Your Inner Conflict Onto Others? - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to the conflict that is taking place in the external world, one only needs to look or to listen and they will soon be aware of what is taking place. Now this could relate to something that is taking place in front of them or something that is happening on the other side of the ...
Views: 1887 - Relationships: Why Are Some Women Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt’s not uncommon to hear that women want to settle down and that men want to ‘play the field’. And based on this, women want to be in a relationship and men are not bothered about being in one. This is how men and women are generally portrayed and in some cases, this is going to be true. ...
Views: 3996 - Emotional Expression: Why Don't Some People Express How They Feel? - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are some people who express how they feel, there are other people who don’t. And when one is not only in touch with how they feel but expresses how they feel, they’re going to experience life differently to someone who doesn’t. This is because emotions are important and not ...
Views: 3988 - Defence Mechanism: Repetition Compulsion - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel. A ...
Views: 3355 - Intimacy: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Fear Intimacy? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperJust because one has the need to experience something, it doesn’t always mean that this need will be fulfilled. And this is something that can be said when it comes to ones need to connect to another person. For some people, intimacy is going to be something that they have always ...
Views: 1765 - Boundaries: Why Do Some Therapists Take On Their Clients Problems? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile people often do everything they can to protect their property, the same can’t always be said about themselves. In the collective consciousness, there is a general understanding that one needs to protect their property. And this is not because people can’t be trusted or that everyone ...
Views: 1669 - Inner Conflict: Can Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Experience Inner Conflict? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one knows exactly what they want to achieve or to experience, there will be clarity. And as result of this, one will be able to take the steps that they need to take to make their goal a reality. This doesn’t mean that it will be a straight forward process though; as there are likely to ...
Views: 1603 - Relationships: Why Do Some Women Hate Men? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperCertain emotions are often seen as positive and others are often seen as negative, and this can cause people to embrace some and to deny others. But regardless of the label they’re given, they all have a purpose. What matters is: how one responds to how they feel and not how they feel. If ...
Views: 2008 - Child Abuse: Why Are Some People Not Believed When They Talk About Being Abused? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ...
Views: 2362 - Abandonment: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Please Others? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to pleasing others, ideally, this will be a choice and not something one feels they have no control over. If one feels that they always need to please others, it is going to interfere with their ability to listen to their own needs and emotions. And when one feels the need to ...
Views: 1902 - Sexualised Behaviour: Does Women’s Sexualised Behaviour Cause Aggression In Men? - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some things have stayed the same over the years, there are other things that have radically changed. For instance, it could be said that today’s world is far more permissive than it used to be. And this can be seen with how children are raised and how sex is generally viewed. It wasn’t ...
Views: 1513 - Projection: Do People Project Their Issues Onto You? - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some people who do everything they can to be perfect and then there are other people who feel like a failure because they’re not perfect. And whether one can relate to this or not, perfection is nothing more than an illusion. It can’t be attained and so if one is doing everything ...
Views: 2220 - Self Image: Do Your Feelings Define Your Self Image? - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how someone sees themselves, the term ‘self image’ is often used. And the image that one has of themselves doesn’t have to reflect reality in any way; this is because there are no limits when it comes to how one can see themselves, but this doesn’t mean that one’s self image is ...
Views: 1450 - The Media: Does The Media Normalize Violence? - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile the media covers many different areas of life, there are certain areas that are covered more than others. This can depend on what is taking place in the world at any given moment but at the same time, it doesn’t have to. There will be certain things that are given exposure and it won’t ...
Views: 1876 - Childhood Neglect: Can Childhood Neglect Cause Someone To Believe There Is Not Enough? - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some people on this planet who always have enough and then there are others who never have enough. And it doesn’t matter what state the economy is in either; as there will still be the haves and have not’s. When one thinks about people to have what they want, they may start to ...
Views: 1652 - Boundaries: Can The Fear Of Being Abandoned Stop Someone From Having Boundaries? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperHuman beings have an inherent need to feel safe and when they don’t feel safe, they can end up building walls around themselves. But while one might feel safe though having them, what they won’t be able to do is to embrace life. On the other hand, if one has boundaries they will be able to ...
Views: 1745 - Relationships: Do You Expect Other People To Accept You Or Reject You? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to talking to people that one’s knows and gets on with, there is not going to be any thought as to whether one will be accepted by them. And this is because at a deeper level they know that the other person accepts them. So unless there is so kind of tension or something ...
Views: 1596