Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Codependency Articles
We are currently looking for an Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Codependency". If you have expertise in Codependency and your own website and/or product for this topic, please review this form for complete details. The Official Guide Position is part of our Premium Placement Package
- My Personal Journey of Recovery - by Submitted on May 29, 2011 from Randi FinePrologue from My New Book FINE…LY: MY STORY OF HOPE, LOVE, AND DESTINY I believe that there are divine reasons for the pregnant pauses in our lives; the times when our life seems to come to a screeching halt and we are rendered powerless over it. Those are the times we should pay especially ...
Views: 1503(1 vote) - Myths about Narcissism - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2023 from Darlene LancerResearch on narcissistic personality disorder has substantially increased in the last 20 years, and the public discourse on narcissism has exploded, but it is often inaccurate. Many social media spokespersons (both narcissists and their victims) generalize their personal experiences to all ...
Views: 428(1 vote) - Narcissistic Abuse | Betrayal | Divorce | Codependency | People Pleasing | Authenticity | Backbone - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownHave you been a victim or do you know someone who's a victim of Narcissistic Abuse and Betrayal? Are you getting a Divorce? Do you want to learn more about Codependency and People Pleasing? Learn why havingAuthenticity and Backbone will help you. Be among the first to see my newest blog ...
Views: 1792(1 vote) - Narcissistic Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2016 from Darlene LancerSince writing Codependency for Dummies, countless people contact me about their unhappiness and difficulties in dealing with a difficult loved one, frequently a narcissistic partner or parent who is uncooperative, selfish, cold, and often abusive. Partners of narcissists feel torn between their ...
Views: 1892(2 votes) - NARCISSUS AND ECHO: THE HEARTBREAK OF RELATIONSHIPS WITH NARCISSISTS - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2017 from Darlene LancerThe poignant myth of Narcissus and Echo crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. They were tragic Greek characters in a story told by the Roman poet Ovid in Metamorphoses. Sadly, both partners are locked into a painful drama, where neither feel satisfied or sufficiently ...
Views: 1924(3 votes) - Natural Trauma Healing – Less is More - by Submitted on May 04, 2025 from Darlene LancerThe conversation around trauma has become mainstream, as people seek to understand the effects of stress and emotional wounding on the body and mind. Countless books and studies have brought vital insights, exploring how trauma lodges in the nervous system and impacts our sense of safety, ...
Views: 75(1 vote) - Need-Fulfillment is the Key to Happiness - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2019 from Darlene LancerThe key to happiness is meeting our needs. Although codependents are very good at meeting the needs of other people, many are clueless about their own needs. They have problems identifying, expressing, and fulfilling their needs and wants. They're usually very attuned other people and may even ...
Views: 1321(2 votes) - No Contact Rule: When You'e Addicted to Love - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2013 from Jim HallNo Contact Rule Cutting Out the Ex and Moving Forward Healthy people who experience a relationship break up generally experience universal stages of grief such as anger, sadness, and disappointment. Eventually they come to accept the loss and move forward. For love addicts, moving ...
Views: 2673(1 vote) - NO is a Complete Sentence! - by Dr. Anne Brown - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2020 from Dr. Anne Brownwe introduced the importance of being able to say No. For the purpose of our discussion this week we are talking about people with equal status in the relationship. This does not include parent-child, teacher-student, or employer-employee. These relationships have different guidelines for ...
Views: 921(1 vote) - Overcoming Codependency - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2013 from Darlene LancerCodependency is learned – learned inaccurate information that you’re in some way not enough, that you don’t matter, that your feelings are wrong, or that you don’t deserve respect. These are the false beliefs that most codependents grow up with. They may not have been told these things directly, ...
Views: 1786(1 vote) - Profile of a Narcissist Attractor - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2025 from Darlene LancerOften a partner of a narcissist is a narcissist attractor, but may not realize it until they’ve attracted more than one narcissist. They may have a narcissist in their family of origin, but not always, and not all children of narcissists end up with one. Not all partners of narcissists were ...
Views: 98(1 vote) - Put an End to Emotional Terrorism in Your Relationships - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2006 from Ineke Van LintFirst let me explain what I mean by “emotional terrorism.” When you have a relationship, at home or at work, with a person who’s constantly humiliating you, harassing you, pressuring on you, taking pleasure in your pain, saying negative things about you or making you feel worthless, then you ...
Views: 11230(1 vote) - Rebuilding Trust - Part II - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2012 from Darlene LancerSatisfying relationships are built on a foundation of safety and trust that you won’t be hurt physically or emotionally. Whether you trust too little or too much is influenced by your past, but once trust is broken, your sense of safety is in jeopardy. You feel insecure and may begin to question ...
Views: 2553(2 votes) - Receiving - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Mary Fitzpatrick"And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth" Raymong Carver Many of us were told as children, some of us relentlessly, about the primacy of giving. Yes, it is very important to give of ...
Views: 2194(1 vote) - Recovering From Co Dependency - Part 1 - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2011 from Caroline NettleMany people do not understand what Co dependency is, and many professionals struggle to describe it so that it is well understood. It is an insidious disease that underpins all addictions. It is born out of abuse or neglect in childhood. The net result is a person who suffers from self- hatred, ...
Views: 2286(1 vote) - Recovery and Codependency - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2014 from Dominica ApplegateIf you’re struggling with codependency, I want you to know that codependence recovery is an important part of getting through your issues and gaining some freedom. Not everyone’s path will look the same, but committing to some sort of recovery will be most beneficial to you. Breaking the ...
Views: 2305(1 vote) - Recovery From Co Dependency - Part 2 - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2011 from Caroline NettleIn part 1, we looked at rescuing and care-taking. In this article, we are going to be looking at people pleasing. This is a behaviour that is deeply entrenched in a vast majority of our population, and is quite a tough habit to crack. When a child learns that it gets attention for being good, ...
Views: 1777(1 vote) - Recovery from Rejection and Break-Ups - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2016 from Darlene LancerBecause our nervous system is wired to need others, rejection is painful. Romantic rejection especially hurts. Feeling lonely and missing connection share the evolutionary purpose of survival and reproduction. Ideally, loneliness should encourage you reach out to others and maintain your ...
Views: 1895(1 vote) - RECOVERY IN THE TWELVE STEPS - A SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2010 from Darlene LancerMany mental health professionals do not understand the 12-Step recovery process, unless they have participated in a 12-Step program. Although they may encourage their clients to do so, they may feel perplexed or intimated, or act patronizing. Often, therapists don’t realize that the 12-Steps are ...
Views: 4369(1 vote) - Relationship Addiction: A Process Addiction - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2012 from Jim HallMost of us typically associate addiction with alcohol or drug abuse, but it's clear that addictive behaviors go far beyond. A universal definition of Addiction is characterized by the repeated, compulsive seeking or use of a substance, behavior, or activity despite negative consequences (harmful ...
Views: 2381(1 vote) - Relationship Anxiety - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2023 from Darlene LancerAnxiety is common at the beginning of a relationship, but relationship anxiety can continue for the long term. It refers to intense worry, fear, doubt, and insecurity about a relationship and is associated with interpersonal dependency and interpersonal avoidance. Insecurity about ourselves, our ...
Views: 511(2 votes) - Relationship Codependency: Everything You Need to Know - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2011 from Randi FineExcerpted from the April 21,2011 episode of my radio show, A Fine Time for Healing Roughly 100 million Americans suffer the effects of codependency today. Relationship codependency is often referred to as the “White Knight” syndrome, because the codependent tends to be a rescuer. ...
Views: 4616(1 vote) - Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2017 from Darlene LancerAnger hurts. It’s a reaction to not getting what we want or need. Anger escalates to rage when we feel assaulted or threatened. It could be physical, emotional, or abstract, such as an attack on our reputation. When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re ...
Views: 1601(2 votes) - Relationships: Does Rescuing Others Keep Them Stuck? - by Submitted on May 12, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAt times, one is going to feel the need to help another; either through someone asking for help or as a result of one offering their hand without being asked. And as human beings need help from time to time, it is good thing that there are people like this in the world. To help another ...
Views: 1793(1 vote) - Romantic Jealousy - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninPathological envy is not the same as romantic jealousy. These two emotions have little to do with each other. Romantic jealousy is the product of a violation of trust; a breach of romantic exclusivity of intimacy; and a denial of possession. It also involves damage to the self-esteem and ...
Views: 1913(1 vote) - Say No To The Weight Of Your Past! - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown" Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." Steve Jobs Someone recently asked me the definition of Codependency, so let's take a look at what we can see to help uncover this complicated phenomenon. The visual I have is someone who is suppose to be driving his own ...
Views: 1333(1 vote) - Secrets and Lies: The Damage of Deception - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2017 from Darlene LancerTrust is a fragile. Secrets and lies jeopardize trust and can damage us and our relationships – sometimes irreparably. We all tell “white lies.” We say “I’m fine,” when we’re not, compliment unwanted gifts, or even fib, “The check is in the mail.” But in an intimate relationship, emotional ...
Views: 1822(1 vote) - Seeds of Co-dependency - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2011 from David GharatWhile family relationships (or substitute family relationships) are indeed essential for everyone, there are instances in which a relationship can become harmful. There are a number of potential reasons for this to occur in the previously described situation, many of which stem from ...
Views: 1576(1 vote) - Seeds of Co-Dependency - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2011 from David GharatCo-dependency is defined as the reliance of one person on people for fulfillment of their self-image. When a person needs to have someone else to act as the missing piece for their identity, there is inevitably some type of negative impact of the relationships of the co-dependent person. The ...
Views: 1634(1 vote) - Self-Forgiveness - Is Your Guilt True or False? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2015 from Darlene LancerWe all experience guilt from time to time. But many of us have a hard time letting go of it and find it difficult to forgive ourselves, even though we may readily forgive others. First of all, it's important to recognize whether our guilt is true or false. Just because we feel guilty, that ...
Views: 1415(1 vote) - Setting Personal Boundaries - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2012 from Linney ElderBy Linney Elder So…what invaluable lessons have I learned this week? Well, for one…I am definitely not Superwoman! That myth has been well and truly blown out the window. What I have realised once again is the value of setting boundaries and when it’s totally appropriate to simply say ...
Views: 2275(1 vote) - Seven Kinds of Power - by Submitted on May 07, 2011 from Steve HauptmanIf you love an addict, or live with one, or depend on one in some way, you are probably in, as the old saying goes, nine kinds of pain. And I’m guessing that, whether or not you realize it, the very worst of these pains comes from being confused about the difference between power and ...
Views: 1422(1 vote) - Signs of Healthy Boundaries - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2023 from Darlene LancerHealthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person. Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional ...
Views: 516(2 votes) - Signs of lack of empathy and what you can do - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerA lack of empathy is not sufficient for a diagnosis of narcissism but it underlies several narcissistic traits, such as arrogance, entitlement, and being exploitative. On the other hand, a lack of empathy can be associated with borderline personality disorder, autism, bipolar disorder, and ...
Views: 379(2 votes) - Sons of Narcissistic Fathers - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2016 from Darlene LancerSons of narcissistic fathers are driven by lack of confidence. Raised by a self-centered, competitive, arrogant father, they feel like they can never measure up or be enough to garner their father’s approval. Their father may be absent or critical and controlling. He may belittle and shame his ...
Views: 1885(1 vote) - Standing At The Crossroads: Trying to Quit Using Drugs - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2010 from Peggy FergusonPeople do not easily come to the conclusion that they have an alcohol or other drug problem. The telltale signs have been there quite some time. Addiction carries with it its own camouflage devices. It can look like a lot of other illnesses from the perspective of an outsider looking in. ...
Views: 2295(2 votes) - STEPS TO BE EMPOWERED AND NOT A VICTIM - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2016 from Darlene LancerIn recovery circles, being a “victim” is frowned upon. Decades ago, when I heard people say they were no longer a victim, I had no idea what they meant. Actually, a victim is an individual who has been fooled, hurt, or harmed, due to his or her own emotions or ignorance, an unfortunate event, or ...
Views: 1843(1 vote) - Stop Selling Your Love and Be You - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2012 from Dr. Erica GoodstoneStop selling your love. Be You - The Greatest Gift of All. Become a love consultant, share your love freely and openly, and watch love easily and effortlessly rebound to you. Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how ...
Views: 2353(1 vote) - Strong Minds Accept No Graciously - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do." Tim Ferriss How did we become a society that cannot hear the word No? Why are we so sensitive to being told No? There is yes and there is No, there is night and day, dark and light, yin and yang, and on and on. So to be balanced ...
Views: 1499(1 vote) - Symptoms of Children of Narcissists and Addicts - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2024 from Darlene LancerChildren of narcissists and addicts (all substance abusers) grow up in a stressful, dysfunctional family environment, which in most cases leads to codependency. Due to the symptoms and defenses related to substance abuse and narcissism, particularly impaired boundaries, lack of empathy, and mood ...
Views: 362(1 vote) - Ten Guidelines for Establishing Healthy Trust - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2015 from Telka Arend-RitterTen Guidelines for Establishing Healthy Trust “How do I know if someone is trustworthy?” “How can I become trustworthy?” “How can I ever trust again?” Healthy trust is hard work. Betrayal, neglect, abuse, addiction and abandonment damage healthy trust but it’s never too late to learn how ...
Views: 4482(2 votes) - The Anger Contract - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2011 from Dan L. HaysThis Anger Contract was my response to the events chronicled in my previous post, "The Betrayal." A bogus Intervention had been done to me, and had forced me to get in touch with deep anger that I had been trying to release for several years. I knew I needed to do something radical to handle ...
Views: 4331(2 votes) - The Biggest Cause of Anxiety - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2015 from Darlene LancerAnxiety is apprehension of experiencing fear in the future. The danger feared isn’t imminent and may not even be known or realistic. In contrast, fear is an emotional and physical reaction to a present, known threat. Anxiety is typically characterized by obsessive worry and an inability to ...
Views: 1810(1 vote) - The Challenge of Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2016 from Darlene LancerForgiveness can sometimes feel impossible or even undesirable. Other times, we forgive only to be hurt again and conclude that forgiving was foolish. Both situations arise from confusion about what forgiveness really means. Forgiveness doesn’t require that we forget or condone another’s actions ...
Views: 1773(1 vote) - The Dark Side of Loneliness - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2015 from Darlene LancerMany people, especially codependents, are haunted by inner loneliness. Twenty percent (60 million) of Americans report that loneliness is the source of their suffering. In fact, our emotional reaction to rejection emanates from the area of our brain (the dorsal anterior cingulated) that also ...
Views: 1854(1 vote) - The lies we tell ourselves - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2011 from Manfred LuckMy appreciation for the gift of EFT is enormous. I've been using it in my practice for about 4 years mostly over the phone and on myself and I've yet to see a condition that it cannot relieve. While relief of pain and suffering and even major increases in peace and happiness are pretty much a ...
Views: 1499(1 vote) - The Narcissists' Hidden False Self - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerNarcissists have a false self. They're master illusionists. They behave like a little king or queen — whether bragging or sulking. Their whole personality is a charade crafted to deceive you into believing they are confident, superior, self-sufficient, likable, and caring. In studies, groups of ...
Views: 357(1 vote) - THE POWER OF SELF-TALK - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2017 from Darlene LancerAre you aware that you talk to yourself all the time? We all do. Our self-talk makes a huge difference in our lives for better or for worse. The question to ask yourself is whether your inner voice is your friend or foe. Our unconscious is impacted by the words we say in the same way that it ...
Views: 2158(2 votes) - The Problem With "Being Nice" (All The Time) - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2010 from Brandon WhitworthAt some point in my development (it's an ongoing process), I gained a fear of confrontation. As I went on, it became more and more prevalent and became a part of my personality. I was a "nice guy", which is fine and certainly carries redeeming qualities; however, I found myself with many ...
Views: 4407(1 vote) - The Recovery Ground Rules for Love Addicts - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2011 from Jim Hall* The following are some very critical ground rules needed for love addicts in order to pave a healthy, successful path in love addiction recovery. 1) Understand the Dynamics of Love Addiction & Intricacies of Love Addicted Relationships A very important first step in recovery is to ...
Views: 2041(1 vote)