My Husband Asked For A Divorce I Said No: My Husband Won't Say Why He Feels Our Marriage Is Over

Though some say that they knew it pretty early on that their marriage was not working out, some couples are not that lucky. They fail to recognize the early signs of a marriage going sour and actually wake up when it is too late in the day for retrieval. But the main question still remains that when your marriage is over, what role should you play? Should you call it quits or give it another try to put it back on tracks?

It is nearly impossible to give any 'right' answer to this question. You and your spouse are the best deciders in this situation. Whatever be your specific case, the good news is that you can actually put it back on tracks, when your marriage is over. But the first and only pre-requisite for this to happen is that BOTH of you must be equally keen to set things right again.

There is one important point to remember, however, before you start to rebuild your failing marriage. You must be absolutely sure regarding the reasons for the failure of the relationship. When your marriage is over, there is no room for guesswork, regarding why it happened. Unless you are sure why your marriage is over you would forever be groping in the dark to find solutions to repair it.

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A few of the common signs to tell you when your marriage is over include: total breakdown of communication or even if there is some amount of exchange of words, it is regarding children, finance and other issues which are common to both of you. There is neither any intimacy nor any cordiality in the conversations you have with your spouse.

The other tell-tale sign to confirm when your marriage is over is the lack of interest that your spouse has in you or the home. Neither does he or she give you any time nor takes any interest in an activity which includes you. Both of you are living as two separate entities, even though you may be sharing the same bed!

You know when your marriage is over when both of you live together not as best friends but more as staunch enemies, where you are trying to outperform the other in every respect. Every thing done and every word said by your spouse irritates or antagonizes you and vice versa. That is the time you know that your marriage is over.

Love and respect of each other is critical to put your marriage back on tracks. If both of you are keen to continue with the marriage, it is time to open up blocked channels of communication, forgive and forget the past and start the relationship with a fresh and positive mind.

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Having a successful marriage is indeed something that most couple would want after the wedding but of course, when marriage is challenged with added priorities like kids, new home, education, finances and utilities, keeping the fire burning in the relationship may need a little work out. Learning how to have a happy marriage not only in the first few months of the union, but throughout your lifetime can indeed be a challenge.

Whether you are someone who just got married or someone who has been into a deteriorating marriage, here are a few tips that might help you build a happy marriage and avoid divorce, and maintain or bring back the spark in your relationship.

- Work on your sex life.

A fulfilling sex life is indeed an important element of a happy marriage. If your sex life has been something that has become a routine, you may want to find ways to make your lovemaking a little different. Of course, a little research and you will find a hundred and one ways on how to please your partner in bed. Read about the preferences men and women want in lovemaking. If you are one of those who are into 'sexless marriage,' then you might want to bring back the lust and the appeal that you once had. Communication plays an important role in this particular issue. Of course, being able to communicate openly to your partner of your sexual needs will help a lot, but remember as well that this is not just about 'your needs' and 'your wants'. You also have to consider your partner's needs as well.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

- Try to build effective communication channel with your spouse.

A crumbling marriage is often a result of being unable to communicate well with your partner or being able to communicate but not healthily. Lack of effective communication can indeed put your marriage into test but practice can be a good first step in helping you on how to have a happy marriage. Listening is one of the most ignored skills that is also a very important in building a healthy and open communication with your spouse. Learn to listen more and you will find greater changes on how you communicate.

- Agree and talk with your finances openly.

Financial problems and conflicts are also among the things that can cause conflicts in your marriage and as long as you are open in talking about your finances especially when you are in a tight budget, you can also make it easier to work on how to have a happy marriage.

- Give time for each other.

Although priorities may increase with marriage, it is important not to forget to give quality time for your partner. It is important not to take each other granted as well. One of the common mistakes of married people is taking their partners for granted as they often think living in one roof is enough for them, or sitting together at dinner is enough. To work on how to have a happy marriage, you have to make sure that you spend a good laugh together at times, you spend time together just the two of you, or even supporting each other especially when one needs it badly.

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As I write this, our Congress is considering various ways to financially bail out the American auto industry. The approach Washington, DC is taking towards this humongous problem is similar to how most marriage counselors approach marital problems. Rather than address a problem's source it is easier to address a problem's symptoms.

The actual problem the automakers are having for instance, is that no one is buying their cars. If people started to buy their cars they would have cash flow and banks would start lending them money for future investment. The real problem that exists is that people aren't buying cars because they don't have enough money, credit or enough incentive. The government can cure two of these problems very easily.

1) The government can institute a tax credit to anyone who buys a domestically built car. If Congress passed such an incentive that reduced a families net income by 50% of the purchase price and allowed the person or family to take that credit over three years, there would be more people wanting to buy a car then there are cars available.
2) The government can set up a Fannie Mae type office for the purpose of guaranteeing auto loans based on certain flexible criteria.

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But instead of getting right to the heart of the problem the government is dealing with a result of the problem, an ailing industry... Like an ailing marriage.

When you go to a marriage counselor you are not taught the basic requirements of being married. They try to treat with therapy something that should not even be occurring if not for breaking basic laws of marriage. It would be like using a frayed electrical cord over and over again while standing by with a first aid kit to treat the shock. When all you have to do is repair or replace the cord.

If you go to a marriage counselor, statistics show that 70% of you will be divorced within a year. The correct way to solve family issues is first by understanding the true relationship that exists between a husband and wife. Any approach that is indirect will likely fail. Being married is not like playing horseshoes, you don't get points by being close enough. Rely on sound principles of marital happiness.

They work. All the time.

Don't forget to tell your spouse and your children, "I love you."

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Love cannot be static in marriage it will either be growing or decreasing why because the natural tendency of a car is to go off the road, while the natural tendency of a garden is towards a forest and while natural tendency of a new baby is death. So to avoid the extinction of love in your marriage you must be committed to the growth of your marriage. Here lies what you must be committed to, if you really desire to experience the growth of sincere love in your marriage

1. Acceptance: Accept your spouse totally, and let him/her know you do, stop complaining, stop comparing your spouse with others.

2. Spend adequate time together: Time is one of the greatest things you can invest into your marriage, do not allow modern day's busyness sniff life out of your marriage. Spend adequate time together, talking, praying, playing, fellow shipping and connecting.

3. Study the word together: As you stay together, find time to feast on the word of God, reading and studying the word of God together will create a new atmosphere in your home. (Joshua 1:8).

4. Communicate freely and positively: Make your communication positive, talk freely and deeply. Talk as friends and lovers; never abuse, curse or lie.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

5. Think positively about each other: Either your spouse is there or, never thinks or talks negatively about him/her be positive in your mind and your word about your spouse. (Philippians 4:8)

6. Touch Positively: Hug each other, touch on the back, and massage each other.

7. Celebrate your spouse: Be excited about each other; let your mate feel loved and welcomed. (Hebrew 10:24)

8. Regard and respect each other: Treat your spouse as that special person he/she is, let him/her feel honored. Treat each other as kings and Queens. (Ephesians 5:33).

9. Pray together: Praying together will knit your heart together and join you with divinity, pray with your spouse.

10. Provide adequately: Provide adequately for your family as long as it is within your power to do so, never allow your family to suffer.

11. Give gifts: Everybody love gift, somebody should give it. Tickle your spouse with gift, no matter how small it is, your husband will appreciate gift as small as belt, shoes, pants, tie, shirts, trouser, etc while no wife can ignore gifts like bags, scarf, blouse, handset, panties, bra, shoes, cloth, car, etc. don't wait till Christmas or birthday give gift now.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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