How To Say Sorry To Husband After A Fight: How To Apologize To Your Husband After A Fight

Conflicts are an unavoidable part of relationships. You can decide how to manage them and you can learn to pick your battles. But what happens when they are over? Do you apologize? Do you simmer in anger for a few days and then pretend nothing happened?

What if you were not at fault for the argument? Are you sure? Before you decide that you were the injured party and your spouse is the villain, think about it. You may not have started the conflict, but you engaged in it. You probably said hurtful things during the argument.

What can you apologize for?

If you allow yourself to hear the hurt in your spouse's angry rant, you may learn something. If you listen and seek to understand, you can find something to apologize for.

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Why should you apologize?

A heart felt apology clears the air. It rebuilds trust. It allows the two of you to get a fresh start. But it must be sincere or it won't work. Also, an apology will help you feel better. It is sometimes hard to do, especially if you are still holding onto anger. If you can see past the anger and decide that your relationship is more important than the conflict, you can apologize easier. You value your relationship above any differences you and your spouse are having.

What if your spouse does not accept your apology?

Don't sweat it. In this case, your spouse is not ready to let go of the hurt yet. It doesn't make your apology invalid. It simply means your spouse is not in the same place you are. You offered the olive branch and that is a great step in the right direction. Now your job is to "act as if" things are good between you. You don't have to go overboard to placate your spouse. Just be the calm, pleasant person you usually are, treating your spouse with the dignity and respect you would like in return.

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Brace yourself. I'm about to yell at you! Why do you want to take a marriage compatibility test? Don't you have enough problems without looking for areas of incompatibility?

OK, I'll play along and give you a test... then a lecture.

Question 1: Are you currently married?
Question 2: Do you have children?
Question 3: Do you wish to have a very happy marriage?
Question 4: Can your spouse answer the same way you did?

If you have answered yes to at least two out of the four questions you are not only compatible but you have the ability to have the happiest marriage on Earth.

Compatibility is a misleading word, my friends. I have a cat (ok, my daughter has a cat). I love my Tina. Don't ask me why. My cat and I are not compatible except for when I feed her or brush her (most of the time). Otherwise she never does what I want to do unless it was her idea. She doesn't think like I do and she has no respect for me. But I love her and I'm keeping her... even if we get a dog later!

You got married for reasons that no longer matter. Some couples I met with told me they were not in love when they got married; doesn't matter. They still had a great marriage once they learned what marriage is all about.

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Here are some more questions:

Question 5: Are you able to feel love?
Question 6: Are you able to tell right from wrong?
Question 7: Would you like to stop suffering?
Question 8: Do you think your spouse answered 5-7 the same as you?

If you answered questions 5-8 with "yes," you and your spouse are compatible. What is more important than compatibility in the areas of emotions, politics, or activity levels is your willingness to respect your spouse for who they are and be loyal to them because you are married to them (like you promised when you got married). When you understand the correct principles of marriage, you will have an amazing marriage and you will be happy. More importantly, your children will be safe from the trauma of separation and divorce. Ok, one more question:

Question 9: Do you really believe your children will be fine if you and your spouse agree to destroy their foundation of security?

If you answered yes to question 9 you have been duped by a psychological doctrine that is insane at best. You need to do what it takes to get your marriage into happiness. I don't use the term "back on track" because most marriages never were on a good track to begin with. You don't need to suffer anymore. Learn how to have a happy marriage, which is as easy as learning which way to turn the jar lid to get it off. You deserve a happy marriage and you should have it as soon as possible.

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One of the main reasons for divorce is the disease of suspicion. Suspecting your partner and taking to task immediately brings an end to the love between the partners. Why the suspicion? Some people are born into a family where the parents suspect each other always. This has a negative impact on the children, who grow to be like their parents themselves. If there is a strong and sound reason and evidence against the partner, it is justified to suspect, but always suspecting your partner will antagonize the spouse and cause a rift in relationship.

Everybody has a right to freedom and personal space. The freedom to talk and continue friendship and maintain family ties which were present long before the present commitment. Nobody has the right to curtail this freedom. Any move on the partner's side to control the spouse will not be taken lightly, especially in this modern era where marriage is not the end all.

In earlier times, couples used to endure each other and society and religion had a stronghold on marriage. With technology advancing at a fast rate, and making money is not next to impossible, people will not have the patience to suffer a partner for life, a partner who is always complaining, grudging, abusing and unhappy and fighting. All the above reasons are more than enough to be shown the door.

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Suspicion is a mental killer. It slowly creeps into the mind as a thought and if given permission, takes full control of the mind, without allowing the person to think another happy thought. It is like a disease cancerous, spreading fast, destroying both he mind and body. The person who used to be happy and carefree earlier will start to become jittery and emotional. Even if the partner is flirting with someone, do not confront, but wait patiently to see if it passes. If it doesn't, then try to become more loving and caring. Give full and complete attention to partner, try these secrets.... Then slowly the partner will start to love truly and stop being wayward.

Love can conquer even the hardest of hearts. Be brave and fight against all odds. It is easy to give up. Cowards die many times, but the brave die only once. So, don't quit before trying at least once. This may be a life saver. In true love, honesty and commitment are very important. It seals the relationship like no other. Such a partnership where the partners love each other unconditionally and give full attention and are honest is verily blessed by God indeed. So try now itself to be like that and become happy and carefree for the rest of your life.

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It was widely believed by older generation that marriages are made in heaven. It was said that God has made partner for every person. The spouses used to be called life-partner as the marriages used to last for the life. The incidences of divorces were almost nil in earlier times. Bible has been very critical of divorce and Jesus denounces divorce on any ground as he said (Mark 10:2-12)

" But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."

In India, the marriages were considered sacrosanct which can not be broken in the life as per the scriptures. In fact a Hindu marriage is supposed to last not only for this life but for the 7 lifetimes.

Marriage and Faith

Marriages are primarily a creation of the religions. Almost all religions deal with the issue of marriage and getting married is considered to be a religious ceremony for most people in the world. However, in the modern world, where atheists are denying the existence of God and becoming non-religious, their faith in the institution of marriage is falling rapidly. The result is the increase in the divorce rates in the western world.

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As per the statiscics available, the percentage of new marriages that end in divorce are as high as 54.9 percent in Sweden and more than 40 percent in most western countries. It means also every other marriage does end in divorce? It is despite of the fact that most divorces happen in the countries, where people are highly educated and they marry only when they are absolutely sure that they love each other. Many couples now prefer to have a live-in relationship with their partner for years to be sure that they really love each other. Thus, these statistics do not correctly reflect the picture of the people whose relationships falls apart after live-in relationship. Thus almost two-third people fall out of love soon in their life. Why do body, logic, reason and understanding fail to keep the marriage together? It may be interesting got note that in countries like India where most marriages are arranged by the parents and the couple are not even have acquaintance with each other; the divorce rate is just 1 percent.

The principle of Evolution

While science believes in the existence of matter only that can be seen and measured, religion believes that all living entities consists of body, mind, soul and spirit. While the existence of body and mind is not disputed by scientists, they deny the existence of soul and spirit or God.

Bible says that man will not live for bread alone since man is a spiritual animal. His density is towards spirit or God. Every man in his life continues to evolve from body to mind to soul to spirit naturally and automatically. A human child is like any other animal which seems contended with the pleasure of body and senses. Yet as the child grows, the mind start taking over and by the teen a person is governed by his mind and decides the things on the basis of logic and reason. However as the person grows more in life, his Soul (the essence of every person) takes over and the person develops a unique personality of his own. His discovery within the Self starts and he seeks and discovers happiness and satisfaction that is unique to every individual. Once a man realizes the self, his next goal is to realize the Spirit or God which is the source of all the souls for the world. Thus a spiritual man sees the whole world as an extension of him and seeks his happiness in making others happy.

Love is Like Any living Being

Love is one of the most mysterious creations of nature and God. It happens automatically and it is the most important reality of this world to sustain life. As soon as a child is born, he gets the gift of love from his mother, father and almost every one in this world. Every one loves a child. Mere sight of child gives the feeling of love in most of us. It is true in animals too. The mother of an animal can do anything to protect her child and does everything to bring up the child till such time the child is able to take the world by its purely out of love. In human beings too, love of the parents only enables the child to stand on its own.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Since the world is governed by the same set of laws, every creation of God is governed by the same principle. Thus love too evolves in the same manner as a man evolves in his life. Love continues to evolve itself as if it is an independent entity like a child. Kahlil Gibran has beautifully expressed this thought in his poem on children.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Love too is like your children. If you continue to grow in life as your children, you would always be more evolved than your children. Yet if you stop growing, your children will not stop. They would soon overtake you and you would lose them.

Love too once created in this world continues to grow of its own just like any other person. It passes from the stage of body-mind-soul and then spirit which can be discussed as following.

Physical Love or Lust

Every love starts from physical level. Just like a child feels happy only in the satisfaction of the body and senses, same is true for love in the beginning. It is impossible to imagine love without physical. Thus the love in the beginning is governed by great desire of physical body and it is often called lust or passion of the body. It is based on the meeting of body. The thoughts of the person who is in physical stage of love can be best expressed in the song "What's Love Got To Do With It" by Tina Turner that became the international hit.

You must understand

That the touch of your hand

Makes my pulse react

That it's only the thrill

Of boy meeting girl

Opposites attract

It's physical

Only logical

You must try to ignore

That it means more than that

Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it

What's love but a second hand emotion

What's love got to do, got to do with it

Who needs a heart

When a heart can be broken...

Mental Love or Friendship

However, physical love gradually evolves into mental love or friendship. A true friendship is based on the logic and reason which originates from thoughts. You can never have friendship with a person, whose thoughts you don't life. Thus gradually the Love gets evolved from body to mind. In normal course, this creates no problem, as the man too continues to evolve in his life. So when love evolves to mental level and the couples too have evolved to mental or higher level. Thus they can understand the change of the nature of love just like the parents of the child understand the changes happening in the child as he grows up. They no longer get disturbed that the child has grown mentally and intellectually from the physical stage.

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However, if the couple have not evolved themselves, they would find that love have outgrown them. If they continue to seek love in the meeting of the bodies, then they would find the love gone. Therefore, even if the love of the couple starts from the physical level it must get evolved to friendship else they would fail to recognize love between them.

Holistic Love or Loving the Soul

Love does not stop at mental level and soon it starts evolving to the level of the soul. At this stage, the couple develops complete understanding of their partners. They do not love the person for their body or their mind but they love the person as a whole. They get a feeing as if their partner has been made only for him or her. They can not see any other person better suited for them as their spouse. In short they love the essence or the soul of the person and not his physical or mental attributes.

At this stage, the love is like a mature person of middle age when their physical and mental abilities starts declining. If the couples do not evolve to the level of soul, then the love falls apart as a man who has not evolved to Self, can never understand the uniqueness of the other person. A person at the physical level may find his partner unattractive. The partners may also find the brilliance of the mind quite unattractive as people at this age does not get impressed by logic and reason.

Spiritual Love

The love of the soul of the person gives lot of peace and satisfaction to the person as the person does not seek any happiness in the outside world but find the true source of love and happiness inside him. However, once a person gets connected to his soul, he start evolving to the level of Spirit or God as his soul is connected to all the souls of the world. The symptom of this love is that it is neither physical, nor mental or logical not is it selfish. A spiritual person finds and has love for every person in the world. Thus love in the final stage becomes the love of God. Just like God loves all people unconditionally, same is true with a spiritually evolved person. He loves just like he loves himself.

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Love is God

People fall out of love as they continue to seek love in the body. However, body becomes boring and stales soon and they feel that they have lost their love. The fault is not with love but them. Such people again try to discover love the body and mind of another person. Many people in the search of love continue to commit adultery and betray the trust of their partners. They marry again and again yet they never find true love as every time love overtakes them by out growing their growth. As love like their child have their independent existence, a man can never control the growth of his love. He has to change himself to understand and love.

It is therefore, necessary to know that love is not a physical reality but a spiritual reality. Even tough love does take birth in the form of body but its destiny is spiritual like that of man. Love is an instrument for attaining this destination. If a man find that love has betrayed him since the evolution of love is divine and can not be stopped while man refuses to evolve in the quest of physical comfort and sensual pleasure. It is for this reason that love is often called God since love is the true manifestation of the divine on this world that is seen in different manifestations to the man. God creates different forms of love for the different stages of human life. It is up to the man to keep pace with love and achieve the goal of divine life by entering into the kingdom of God by the help of the angle called Love.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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