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Articles from Karla Downing | Selfgrowth.com
- Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children The Way God Sets Boundaries With His Children - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2012 from Karla DowningChristians aren't the only people who need boundaries--everyone does--but when setting boundaries, Christians want to feel assured that the choices they are making are pleasing to God and biblically based. Knowing how God sets boundaries with you as his child helps you know how to set boundaries ...
Views: 1901 - Christian Relationship Help: Healthy and Unhealthy Triangulation in Dysfunctional Families - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2012 from Karla DowningTriangulation in dysfunctional families can be healthy and unhealthy. There are many ways you can "triangulate" which simply means to get involved in a relationship between two people in an attempt to fix it. Dysfunctional family dynamics give you many opportunities to get involved some of which ...
Views: 1877 - Forgiveness: Five Christian Misunderstandings About Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Karla DowningForgiveness is an important part of the teachings in the Christian faith. However, there are five common Christian misunderstandings about forgiveness that result in people misapplying it to their relationships. 1. Forgiveness means you must have a relationship with the person. Forgiveness ...
Views: 1870 - Christian Codependency: 7 Signs You Are A Christian Codependent - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? These 7 signs will help you to decide whether you are a Christian codependent or not. When we are being "codependent" it means we have an unhealthy way of reacting to a problem in a person close to us or a pattern of coping with life that is ...
Views: 1856(1 vote) - Christian Codependency: Does God Want You To Be Codependent? - by Submitted on May 07, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, do you wonder if God wants you to be codependent? Christian codependents tend to overly give, ignore their own needs, tolerate mistreatment, and lose themselves while believing God is pleased with them. Many of the beliefs people ...
Views: 1856 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Refuse To Argue Or Defend Your Truth - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how to learn to refuse to argue or defend your truth. Allowing yourself to get into a defensive position with your truth weakens your position. ...
Views: 1841 - Christian Codependency: 10 Things Codependents Must Do to Change - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2012 from Karla DowningThere are 10 things Christian codependents must do to change the patterns that keep them reacting codependently in life and relationships. If you are a codependent, you live your life focusing on other people. In order to change, you must take the focus off others and put the focus onto your own ...
Views: 1802 - Christian Codependency: Four Things to Do to Stop Triangulating in Your Relationships - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a relationship dynamic between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem. Here ...
Views: 1769 - Are You a Perfectionist or Someone Who Values Doing Things Well? - by Submitted on May 29, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering if you are a perfectionist or just someone who values doing things well? Answer the following seven questions: When you fail or fall short of your expectations, do you: Beat yourself up in your mind with negative self-talk? People who value doing the best they can ...
Views: 1757(1 vote) - Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Five Ways God Wants You To Parent Your Adult Child - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering about setting boundaries with your adult children? Parenting your adult child sounds like an oxymoron. The two really shouldn't go together, but they often do. There is an epidemic of children eighteen years and older (even much older) that still require involvement from their ...
Views: 1713 - Christian Marriage Help: Change Yourself, Not Your Spouse - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian marriage help will enable you to take back your power to change your life whether your husband or wife changes or not. The problems in your marriage are real and the changes you want your spouse to make are most likely reasonable. The dilemma that you have is that you can't make ...
Views: 1684 - Identify Four Misbeliefs You Need to Change to Detach From False Guilt - Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Karla DowningHere's another help to overcome Christian codependency: Identify four common misbeliefs you need to change to detach from false guilt. Guilt is meant to help us identify when we have done something wrong. Guilt can be experienced as a physical pain, a nagging sense that something is wrong, a ...
Views: 1667 - Christian Relationship Help: How Core Wounds Trigger Overreactions In Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help that shows you how core wounds trigger overreactions in relationships? Childhood leaves us each with core wounds. These core wounds or core issues resurface repeatedly in relationships. They typically form the basis of overreactions to things that ...
Views: 1643 - Christian Marriage Help: How Do You Respect Your Husband When He Does Things You Don't Respect? - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help to understand the biblical teaching to respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33)? Here are some questions behind the question: How do you respect your husband when he does things you don't respect? How do you show respect to a husband who is doing ...
Views: 1629(1 vote) - Christian Relationship Help: Five Signs You Are Enabling Your Parents - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will give you five signs that you are your enabling parents. 2 Corinthians 12:14 says, "After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children" (NIV). You don't anticipate having to make difficult choices as an adult as ...
Views: 1582 - Christian Marriage Help: How to Face Your Fears - by Submitted on May 24, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian marriage help will show you how to face your fears in your difficult marriage. Fear is a natural response. It is a God-given basic survival mechanism to protect by enabling a person to heighten senses and attend to what is threatening by either fighting or fleeing. Some people ...
Views: 1540(1 vote) - Christian Relationship Help: Actions Matter More Than Words In Your Difficult Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will show you that actions matter more than words in your difficult relationship. Difficult relationships are with difficult people and difficult people tend to say one thing but do something else. It is confusing when someone's actions don't match the words, but ...
Views: 1539 - Dysfunctional Families: How to Take Care of Your Children in the Midst of The Dysfunction - Part One - by Submitted on May 24, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you are in a dysfunctional marriage and have children, you have a dysfunctional family. This article is the first in a series to show you how to take care of your children in the midst of the dysfunction. Few things cause as much pain, anguish, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, and frustration as ...
Views: 1528 - Christian Relationship Help - 5 Common Fears In Difficult Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will enable you to understand the five common fears people have in difficult relationships. Whether it is due to someone's addiction, irresponsibility, personality, mental illness, or abuse, life has uncertainty and complications. Here are the five common ...
Views: 1482 - Overcome Christian Codependency By Learning How To Take Care Of Yourself - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2012 from Karla DowningYou can overcome Christian codependency by learning how to take care of yourself. Christian codependency promotes misconceptions about when God thinks it is okay to put yourself before others. We have to care about ourselves and others. One of the best ways to determine if you should put ...
Views: 1481 - Christian Boundaries - 10 Truths About Boundaries In Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2012 from Karla DowningChristian boundaries are a source of confusion for many Christians, especially when they are in difficult relationships. We wonder what a boundary is. We wonder if we have the right to set boundaries. We wonder what our boundaries should be. We wonder if we should adjust our limits when people ...
Views: 1479 - Christian Relationship Help - What Would Jesus Do In Your Difficult Relationship? - by Submitted on Mar 13, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? Do you wonder what Jesus would do in your difficult relationship? There is a good chance that you have some misconceptions about what Jesus would do. Many Christians have a picture of Jesus as a passive weakling who allowed himself to be abused ...
Views: 1479 - How to Let Go of Anxiety When People You Love Make Poor Choices - Christian Relationship Help - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help answers the question: How to let go of anxiety when people you love make poor choices? I just got off the phone with a friend distressed over a hurtful and intense argument she had with her husband where both of them brought up all the weapons in their arsenal ...
Views: 1479 - Christian Relationship Help: Do Christians Have Rights in Relationships? - by Submitted on May 23, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? It is often said that Christians need to lay down their rights in relationships to please God. Let's look at what the Bible says about Christians having rights in relationships. The main teaching to support laying down your rights is the fact ...
Views: 1470 - Christian Dating: Be Equally Yoked in Five Areas - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2012 from Karla DowningWith Christian dating, the one Scripture that comes to mind is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness: What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a ...
Views: 1469 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Use "I Statements" To Minimize Defensiveness - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how to use "I statements" to minimize defensiveness. When sharing your truth, your approach matters. You can share your truth in a way that ...
Views: 1454 - Christian Relationship Help: Is God Punishing You For Your Bad Relationship Choices? - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you are looking for Christian relationship help, this article will help you answer the question: Is God punishing you for your bad relationship choices? There are common Scriptural misunderstandings about relationships that result in Christians making unhealthy choices in relationships. These ...
Views: 1441 - Christian Relationship Help: Three Dangerous Dating Mistakes Christians Make - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help to enable you to be wise in dating? Here are three dangerous dating mistakes Christians make that will keep you in a bad relationship: You believe God brought you together. If you believe that God brought you together, then it will be confusing ...
Views: 1430 - 6 Scriptural Misbeliefs of Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Karla DowningThe following 6 Scriptural misbeliefs form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural beliefs contribute to codependent choices. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared to others in ...
Views: 1422 - Forgive Yourself: God Wants You to Let Go of Your Past and Live Your Life - by Submitted on May 16, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with forgiving yourself for things you have done and haven't done? Many people have more trouble forgiving themselves than other people. It can be especially hard when the consequences of your actions have hurt others and there is no way to remove them. King David gave us a ...
Views: 1405 - Speaking The Truth In Love Even When It Hurts - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with speaking the truth in your relationships because you are afraid of causing the other person to be hurt, unhappy, or upset? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. The most common concern Christians express when being honest is the fear that it will hurt the ...
Views: 1404 - 4 Steps to Let Go of Denial - Christian Relationship Help - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? This article offers 4 steps to let go of denial. A friend of mine complained that her college daughter didn't act responsibly while in Hawaii on her parent-paid vacation. The expectation was that she would call home regularly and not get into ...
Views: 1403 - Overcoming Christian Codependency - Four Truths To Determine When To Put Yourself Before Others - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2012 from Karla DowningWhen overcoming Christian codependency, how do you know when you should put your needs or the other person's needs first? By applying these four truths: 1.You have to stay emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy. Ephesians 5:29 "After all, no one ever hates his own body, ...
Views: 1394 - Christian Codependency: Identifying the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. If you hold the following beliefs, you will struggle with guilt in your relationships: - You feel overly responsible for other people and as a result, ...
Views: 1368 - Marriage Help For Christians - 7 Signs That Your Spouse's Affair Is Truly Over - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Karla DowningThis marriage help for Christians will allow you to recognize whether or not your spouse's affair is really over. Affairs don't necessarily end at the first disclosure or discovery. There is often a time period where the spouse says it is over but continues the affair. During this time, the ...
Views: 1368(1 vote) - Speaking The Truth In Love - 8 Tips To Overcome Difficulty In Expressing Your Thoughts - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Some people are not naturally verbal and have difficulty expressing their thoughts, especially in emotionally volatile and unpleasant circumstances. When they ...
Views: 1366 - Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won't do and when ...
Views: 1355 - Christian Relationship Help: Six Toxic Christian Relationship Beliefs - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? Regardless of the problems you are dealing with, it is important that you identify and change these six toxic Christian relationship beliefs in order to make healthy choices. 1. You believe it is selfish to put yourself before ...
Views: 1346 - 4 Truths About Biblical Submission in Marriage - Marriage Help For Christians - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2012 from Karla DowningSubmission is the "S" word in church. In this modern day of equality, women's rights, and women working, many pastors avoid it or quickly skip over it, focusing on the man having to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). There is still confusion about how women in ...
Views: 1342 - Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography - by Submitted on May 16, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography: Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be ...
Views: 1340(1 vote) - Speaking The Truth In Love - Expressing Your Truth Before You Set Boundaries - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Difficult relationships have lots of issues to deal with. There are disappointments, hurts, unmet expectations, irresponsible choices, unacceptable behavior, ...
Views: 1324 - Christian Friendship: Four Myths About Loneliness - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with how to overcome loneliness by searching for Christian friendship? Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." ...
Views: 1314 - Christian Codependency: Four Beliefs That Prevent You From Nurturing Yourself - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Karla DowningMost of us don't do well with nurturing ourselves. We are experts at taking care of others' needs and ignoring our own needs. Some of this self-neglect comes from four Christian codependency beliefs that prevent you from nurturing yourself. Which of these beliefs have contributed to you not ...
Views: 1311 - Christian Friendship: Five Things You Simply Must Do To End Loneliness - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian friendship because you feel lonely? "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT). Feeling lonely is indeed ...
Views: 1298 - Christian Relationship Help: Why Relationships With Narcissists Are Difficult - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will enable you to understand why relationships with narcissists are difficult. Good relationships have balance. There is give and take that attempts to meet the needs of both people (Philippians 2:4). In contrast, relationships with narcissists focus around ...
Views: 1289 - Overcome Christian Codependency - Do These 4 Things When Dealing With Chronic Illness In A Loved One - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2012 from Karla DowningThere are 4 things you must do when dealing with chronic illness in a loved one to overcome Christian codependency. When someone we care about is chronically ill, we react to it the same way people react to other situations that are continually stressful and uncontrollable. Christian ...
Views: 1281 - Christian Codependency: Loving Too Much - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency and finding yourself loving too much? Jesus told us that the two main commandments were to love God and others. A popular Christian song had the following lyrics: "And they will know we are Christians by our love." Christians know they should love, ...
Views: 1275 - When Does a Relationship Qualify As Abusive? What Are Boundaries That Must Not Be Crossed - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2012 from Karla DowningWhen does a relationship qualify as abusive? One of the ways to answer that question is to look at boundaries that must never be crossed. Boundaries are intended to protect you as a valued person in a relationship. There are four boundaries that abusive people violate because they do not see you ...
Views: 1264 - Christian Codependency: Keeping the Peace in Unhealthy Ways - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2012 from Karla DowningIs your Christian codependency resulting in you keeping the peace in unhealthy ways? Here is a biblical example of someone who tried to keep the peace by covering up and fixing a problem codependently and as a result, it later escalated and caused more hurt and fallout. Absalom intervened ...
Views: 1258 - Marriage Help For Christians - How Does a Woman Respect a Man Who Does Not Love? - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2012 from Karla DowningThis marriage help for Christians answers the question: How does a woman respect a man who does not love her? Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV). This isn't a problem in a healthy marriage, but ...
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