Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Margaret Paul | Selfgrowth.com
- ***"It's Not Fair!" - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you continue to believe, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that life should be fair? Discover a new way of looking at fairness. ________________________________________ "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good ...
Views: 1323 - ***How to Talk about Sex - by Submitted on Dec 20, 2012 from Margaret PaulAre you stuck in your relationship not being able to talk about sex, or getting into power struggles about sex? Sean wrote in the following question on one of my free webinars about sexuality: "My wife and I have been married now for eighteen years and for the most part are ...
Views: 1493 - ***Living Alone Can Kill You - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Loneliness is a huge problem in our society. It doesn't have to be this way. ________________________________________ A study "followed nearly 45,000 people ages 45 and up who had heart disease or a high risk of developing the condition. Those who ...
Views: 1637(1 vote) - ***My Husband is Not Sexual - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you in a relationship with a man who is not sexual? You are not alone! ________________________________________ In a question to me on one of my webinars, Melanie writes: "My husband is very loving, but not very sexual. I've tried to talk to him ...
Views: 1427 - ***3 Steps to Healing from Betrayal - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Betrayal is one of the hardest things to go through, and it is vitally important that you deal with it in a way that doesn’t cause you even more pain. ________________________________________ It is devastating when someone whom we believe cares about ...
Views: 2821(2 votes) - ***Are You Emotionally Dependent? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2012 from Margaret PaulDiscover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. ________________________________________ Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking ...
Views: 3236(6 votes) - ***Why Many Women Don't Think About Sex - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2012 from Margaret PaulAre you a woman who rarely or never thinks about sex? Have you believed that was something wrong with you? ________________________________________ Laverne wrote the following to me: "I have never had thoughts that picture me making love with my husband - or anyone else for that matter. I ...
Views: 1544 - ***I'm Neat, He's Messy--What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is your partner's messiness driving you crazy? Discover how to resolve this issue in your relationship. ________________________________________ When we meet and fall in love with someone, we often don't think about what might seem like minor ...
Views: 3162 - *** "I'm Consumed With My Ex - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop. ________________________________________ "How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?" asks Tammy. "Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?" I ...
Views: 4845 - ***Stop Escalating Conflict! - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you get into fights that turn ugly as the conflict escalates? Discover how to stop doing this. ________________________________________ A participant in one of my webinars asked: "Is there any way to resolve conflict if you have two 'escalating' ...
Views: 1995(1 vote) - ***Are You Abandoning Yourself? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you - or do they come from self-abandonment? ________________________________________ When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But ...
Views: 1882 - ***9 Secrets For A Joyful Life - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Joy is our birthright - a gift of Spirit. Discover the choices you can make to lead a joyful life. ________________________________________ 1. Self-Compassion Rather Than Self-Judgment In the 44 years I've been counseling clients, I've never had a ...
Views: 2785(3 votes) - ***Real Love Versus Infatuation - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you know the difference between real love and infatuation? They are light years apart. ________________________________________ In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.~Margaret Anderson Real ...
Views: 2671(1 vote) - ***Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ A client of mine asked, "Is there such a thing as healthy caretaking?" Here is the answer! ________________________________________ I was trained by my mother and grandmother to be a caretaker. The messages were: "Your feelings are not important to ...
Views: 1802 - ***Have You Fallen Out of Love With Your Partner? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you contemplating leaving your partner because you have fallen out of love? Read this first! ________________________________________ We have only to look at the divorce rate—41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages, and a whopping 73% ...
Views: 2650 - ***Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Were you taught that if you were nice others would be nice? ________________________________________ "I had this really terrible interaction on the phone with a customer on Tuesday," Carlton told me in our Skype session. "This guy was so closed and ...
Views: 1688(1 vote) - ***Do You Come To Your Partner Open And/or Happy? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of what state you are in when you and your partner come together? ________________________________________ On a recent visit with my daughter and her family, she and I were taking a walk and talking about our mutual work. "I read a ...
Views: 2124(1 vote) - ***Breaking Down or Breaking Open - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Breaking down keeps you stuck, while breaking open allows you to discover the power within yourself. ________________________________________ "Something I didn't want to happen, happens. I feel the resistance build within. I feel the pressure to ...
Views: 2448 - *** “I Don’t Fit In.” - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you believe that you are supposed to 'fit in?' You might feel differently after reading this article! ________________________________________ The other morning, I opened our carton of eggs to make my breakfast. I looked at the beautiful eggs we ...
Views: 1810(1 vote) - ***Oneness With God - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Have you ever felt the Grace of oneness with God? There are many things you can do to have this at will. ________________________________________ "Praying without ceasing is not ritualized, nor are there even words. It is a constant state of ...
Views: 2245(2 votes) - ***Are You Eating Pink Slime? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you putting 'pink slime' in your body without knowing it? ________________________________________ ABC news did a story about ‘pink slime’—an additive that is in 70% of the meat in super markets. See: ...
Views: 2264 - ***Is There Such A Thing As Sexual Addiction? - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is sexual addiction a real thing, or just an excuse for bad behavior? ________________________________________ In a recent article in CNN.com Blogs, ...
Views: 1996(2 votes) - ***Find your Genius - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2012 from Margaret PaulWe are all geniuses. Are you ready to find your genius? “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein Did you know that everybody is a genius? I love this quote by Einstein because ...
Views: 3312 - ***Does Your Morning Routine Support Your Creativity? - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Margaret PaulHave you decided that you are not creative? Do you feel a deadness regarding creativity? “Everything about the way we start our day runs counter to the best conditions for thinking creatively,” wrote Annie Murphy Paul in an article entitled “Why Morning Routines Are Creativity Killers.” ...
Views: 1874 - ***Can You Love Others? - by Submitted on May 17, 2012 from Margaret PaulWhat is loving to yourself and others is not always clear. This article presents some important questions to consider. "Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you." Wayne Dyer, Author ...
Views: 1637 - ***Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Narcissism? - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Discover that 'healthy narcissism' is an oxymoron! ________________________________________ All of us have an ego wounded self who is narcissistic to one degree or another. For the purpose of this article, I am defining narcissism as abandoning ...
Views: 1920 - ***Finally! Studies Prove That Spanking Doesn’t Work - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul“A new analysis concludes that spanking fails to alter kids' behavior in the long term. What it does instead is amp up their aggression.” From “Why Spanking Doesn’t Work,” by Bonnie Rochman |@brochman | February 6, 2012 http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/06/why-spanking-doesnt-work/?hpt=hp_t3 ...
Views: 3012 - ***Authenticity, Transparency and Integrity - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Margaret PaulDo you know how to discern when someone is being transparent and authentic and when they are being duplicitous? We seem to be living in a time when authenticity and transparency are not highly valued. We have only to look at government and many government agencies such as the FDA, politics, ...
Views: 2254 - ***Do You See The Obstacle Or The Goal? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Where does your mind generally go - to the obstacles or to the goal? You CAN change your mindset if it is stopping you from having what you want. ________________________________________ Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your ...
Views: 1777 - ***Giving To Others: Draining Or Fulfilling? - by Submitted on Feb 29, 2012 from Margaret PaulGiving to others can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in life, or it can be one of the most draining. What makes the difference?The difference has to do with WHY you are giving to others.Giving From A Full HeartWhen we give from a full heart, we are giving because we are so filled up ...
Views: 3064(2 votes) - ***Your Own Inner Work Affects the Whole World! - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2012 from Margaret Paul"Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean." - Johann Wolfgang von GoetheWhat would happen if we each learned to take 100% responsibility for our own feelings and needs - learning to attend to our feelings with compassion for ourselves, and ...
Views: 3731(1 vote) - ***Is Divorce The Answer For You? - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2012 from Margaret PaulIn my work with individuals and couples for the last 43 years, I’ve had two very different experiences regarding people who have divorced:One group of people are happy that they finally left a marriage where they were very unhappy. They feel that they have their life back, and sometimes ...
Views: 2677 - ***Who Am I? - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2012 from Margaret PaulI recently attended a conference and one of the speakers was David Stanley, who lived with Elvis Presley as his stepbrother since David was four years old. His book, about his experiences with Elvis, called “Conversations With the King,” just got published. The book is co-authored by ...
Views: 2756(1 vote) - “I Feel Overwhelmed” - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2012 from Margaret PaulI often hear from my clients that they feel overwhelmed. Generally, feeling overwhelmed means one of three things:Overwhelmed by their feelingsOverwhelmed by time pressuresOverwhelmed by how to do things ‘right’The feeling of overwhelm is generally caused by how we are treating ...
Views: 2764 - ***What is Enlightenment? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul"If I could define enlightenment briefly I would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is." - Dr. Wayne DyerAs simple as this definition seems to be, how often do you quietly accept what is? Instead, what do you say or do?I say things like “It’s not supposed to be this way.” “It should have ...
Views: 3003(2 votes) - ***When You Love Yourself, You Let Others Off the Hook - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2012 from Margaret PaulFrequently, when I start to work with a new client, they believe that loving their self is selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. A more accurate definition of selfish is expecting others to give themselves up and do for you what you can and need to be doing for yourself.Letting ...
Views: 3092(3 votes) - ***What Will Love Give You? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2012 from Margaret PaulDid you grow up believing that if only someone REALLY loved you in the way you needed to be loved, then you would feel happy, safe, lovable and worthy?Certainly being truly loved by parents goes a long way toward supporting children in feeling safe and lovable, but it is not the whole story. ...
Views: 3036(1 vote) - ***What Does Having Sex Mean to You? - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2012 from Margaret PaulI’ve been counseling individuals and couples for many years. More than half the time, when couples are having problems or the relationship is dissolving, sex is one of the major issues. There are a number of common scenarios:After a long marriage with regular sex, he comes home to discover that ...
Views: 3700(1 vote) - ***Persistence: Playing a Poor Hand Well - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2012 from Margaret Paul"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well." – Josh Billings, 1818-1885Research indicates that holding good cards is actually of great benefit in life. People born into wealthy families, who are emotionally and financially supported to become all ...
Views: 3388(1 vote) - ***Are you Inspiring or Gloomy? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2011 from Margaret Paul"You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy." --Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Television PersonalityWhat is your ...
Views: 2949(1 vote) - ***How do you Make Others Responsible for Your Painful Feelings? - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2011 from Margaret PaulWe have all learned many ways of trying to avoid or get rid of our painful feelings. Many of these ways are fairly obvious: addictions to substances and activities, staying in your mind rather than in your body, or judging yourself.Another major way we avoid or try to get rid of our painful ...
Views: 2669(1 vote) - ***Will Your Next Marriage be Better? - by Submitted on Dec 07, 2011 from Margaret Paul“It’s time for me to move on. I’ve learned so much – I just know that next time it will be better.”“Our new relationship has a great chance, because we’ve both been married before and have learned a lot. We know that this time around we will do it so ...
Views: 2535 - ***How to Connect with Others - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2011 from Margaret PaulWe are inherently social beings, and feeling emotionally connected with another is one of the great joys in life. Yet, all too often, we feel lonely around another or others, wanting to connect and not knowing how. We may have learned numerous dysfunctional or unsatisfying ways of connecting, ...
Views: 2803(1 vote) - ***Stop Taking the Bait of Projection! - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2011 from Margaret PaulAll of us have projected our own thoughts, feelings, motivations and desires onto others, and have been at the other end of projection. Many of us learned to project onto others as we were growing up, when our parents, siblings or caregivers projected their unconscious feelings, thoughts and ...
Views: 2947(1 vote) - ***Do You Isolate? - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Margaret PaulIn my counseling practice, I often have clients who tend to isolate as a way of protecting against their fears - especially their fears of rejection and engulfment. They are so afraid of being disliked, disapproved of, attacked or having demands made on them, that they choose to avoid ...
Views: 2504(3 votes) - ***Intimacy and Connection - The Aliveness of Life - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2011 from Margaret Paul"Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself." - Thomas Moore, author, Care of the SoulMost of us would love to have intimacy and connection in our lives, yet we often ...
Views: 2587(1 vote) - ***Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2011 from Margaret PaulThis article on CNN Health - http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/17/bitter.resentful.ep/index.html?&hpt=hp_c2-by Elizabeth Cohen, is very interesting, regarding the negative health effects of blame and resentment."Feeling bitter interferes with the body's hormonal and immune systems, ...
Views: 3390(1 vote) - ***Self-Pity or Self-Compassion - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from Margaret PaulThere is a vast difference between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling kindness toward yourself.Self-PityWhen you see yourself as a victim, you indulge in self-pity. You are a bottomless pit of misery, and you may find yourself crying endless victim tears. You might say things like:Why do bad ...
Views: 4025(1 vote) - ***Caretaking: A Covert Form of Narcissism - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2011 from Margaret PaulI used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of others instead of themselves. I thought that ...
Views: 4635(2 votes) - ***The Vital Importance of Community - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2011 from Margaret PaulI've been reading in many different sources about the research involving community and well being. In his best-selling book,"Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell opens with a study done in a small Pennsylvania town called Roseto.In 1882, Italians who lived in a town of the same name, Roseto, started to ...
Views: 3335(1 vote)