Loading the searchable article library…
Browse published articles attributed to Lisa Phillips, with full-archive search.
What do you think you are worth? Do you think you deserve to be treated fairly? Do you believe that other people deserve to be treated better than you do?
When we feel resentment we believe that someone, or something has wronged us in some way. When we feel resentful, we tend to feel negative emotions such as anger, spite, hurt and irritation. Examples of Resentment include: • Feeling angry against a person or group of people whom you feel have treated you badly • Unresolved anger over a negative event which may have happened to you in your childhood • Unresolved anger over a past event • Lack of forgiving and the inability to let go and forget
A few years ago, I attended one of Debbie Ford’s ( No1 NY Times Best Selling Author and Self Development Expert) Shadow process workshops in New York. One of the biggest light bulb moments I had on this course was when Debbie led us through a process where we learned to accept that ‘ There are people out there who are toxic and will screw with you’.
We are all liable to feel inferior to another person at some time. This can show up in the fact that we may feel not as attractive, intelligent, slim, rich, popular or somewhat ‘ less than’ other people for many different reasons. When we feel like this, we look at others in our lives as being ‘ better than us’ in some way. We may long to be like them but we convince ourselves that this is not possible for us. The fact is, feeling inferior is a horrible feeling! It can bring up feelings of despair, jealousy and yearning.
Do you ever have those days when you just wake up in the morning with a huge big dark cloud over your head and feel miserable? The trouble is, if we start the day like this, the negative vibration that we send out, as well as the negative thoughts, will often result in our day getting generally worse and worse as the hours go on! Sometimes, however hard we try to feel more positive, this dark cloud just tends to hang around all day and can lead us to feeling self critical, anxious and negative.
Have you ever walked away from a person, event or situation and felt resentful or violated? If some of your experiences are making you uncomfortable, then it may be time to set some boundaries. Setting good boundaries is healthy. It is not rude, bad or wrong. It is not bad or rude or wrong! YES, I repeated that statement as many people believe that they should not speak up or set boundaries just incase it hurts another’s feelings. However, when we walk away from a person who has hurt us in some way, we often feel resentful and upset.
It never ceases to amaze me how we continue to punish ourselves and hold onto resentments for things which have happened in the past. We carry these bad feelings around with us like painful baggage for years and years and often deny ourselves the life we truly deserve to live as deep down, we feel like ‘bad’ people and that we don’ t deserve good things.
Within the article, I don’t plan to go into all the details of why some people tolerate poor behaviour more than others, but I do plan to give you a few key concepts which may help you put appropriate boundaries in place when dealing with such people. On the whole, we often attempt to be kind and loving people, treating people the way they want to be treated.
Just as the world’s economy weakens the entire global economy, stress and anxiety can weaken your entire body so learning to deal with stress is an important part of maintaining your well being and protecting your health. What is stress? Stress is an emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition which occurs in response to a situation. Note, the stress is not the situation, but your response to it!r
Do you really think you are not good enough? Do you criticize yourself? Do you give yourself a hard time or punish yourself with harsh words or thoughts? Do you beat yourself up when you feel you have done something wrong? Do you get angry at yourself? Do you speak to your friends better than you speak to yourself? The most common belief I have found in working with people is the fear that ' I am not good enough'. Does this sound like you? If you believe this, ask yourself for whom? And according to whose standards? What aren’t you good enough for?
So what is detachment? To me personally, detachment is all about giving up control of an outcome, and to ‘let go’ and allow the higher purpose to come though. Remember, everything does happen for a reason – and letting go of your own personal outcome can give space for a much better universal outcome to come into place! Detaching can also mean: • Allowing people the freedom to be themselves and to make their own decisions and choices in life ( even if you do not like the choices they are making)r
Is this a typical working day for YOU? 6am Oh no, the alarm is going off and I have to get up. I can't face work today. I would rather stay in bed! I will just press the snooze button one more time. 7am Do I look ok? My hair is a mess. Why do I always look so terrible? I look so tired! 7.30am The train / bus is late again! It's always late or overcrowded, I really hate public transport. It's rubbish. 8.30am At work. Roll on 5pm Friday.
Affirmations do work! Often people give up on affirmations after a few weeks as they feel that they are not working. I often describe an affirmation as being like a seed. You have to be patient, nurture it and cherish it, until it blossoms into what you desire. Often you can’t see the seed growing under the earth – but it is! You just have to trust. An affirmation is a repeated short and specific statement that is spoken aloud, thought or written down. Affirmations can alter our direction in life through the re-programming of our self-talk and self-beliefs.
You might not wish to hear this but, YOU are responsible for much of what is happening in your life and your life, is your responsibility! Unfortunately, nobody is coming to save you! In all situations in life, you have the freedom and choice to choose how you will react and what actions you will take. You also have the power to control your thoughts. Ok, there may be some forces which are clearly out of your control but you do have the choice even in these situation on how you will react. We often get into the habit of blaming other people for our circumstances or our unhappiness.
Having too many negative thoughts can be harmful to not only your mood, but also your mental welfare. If you let things continue on a downward slide for too long it can also start to have a negative effect on your general health. Do not despair, because there are some simple things that you can do to leave negative thoughts behind.
I thought I would share with you some insights and life lessons which have been useful for me on my own journey. I hope you enjoy them and find them useful. 1) Handle your ‘ due diligence’ Have you noticed that in life, there will always be people who lie, cheat, abuse, manipulate and steal? Before you enter into any relationship with someone, be it personal or business; make sure you do your own due diligence. Take responsibility for who you give your heart to or who you enter into business with. Do some research and ask the right questions.
didn’t. I thought loving myself was basically treating myself to a night out with friends or buying myself a hot new pair of shoes. To be honest, it took me quite a while to really understand the whole concept of ‘loving myself’ and it was only then did it really start to have a profound effect in my life. For me now, loving myself means a multitude of things including: 1) Learning to speak up for myself and honoring my feelings. In loving myself I realized that no longer needed to just ‘go along’ with what other people wanted.
Quick Tips to Boost YOUR Self Esteem. 1) Every morning, look in the mirror and affirm ' I am willing to learn to love myself'. You can do this when you are cleaning your teeth. 2) Buy yourself a journal and write down at least 20 achievements you have completed in your life. Remember, these don't have to be huge things, just things you are proud of yourself for completing! Take a few minutes to read your list every day and add to it if you choose. 3) When you are in the shower / bath, spend 2 minutes praising yourself each day.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your self esteem? If it requires some improvement, then you are not alone! Most of us can acknowledge that our self esteem could do with a boost, but much of the time, we are not sure how to go about improving it.
How do you feel each morning when you hear the alarm clock? Does that sound fill you with dread as you drag yourself out of bed, or do you jump out of bed with excitement wondering what wonderful things the day has in store for you? What thoughts run through your mind as you prepare for a new day? How we feel and what we think about our day ahead can really effect how in fact the day will actually turn out. If we begin each morning dreading what the day will hold, we will unconsciously creating an affirmation or a statement of what we want. Those affirmations then become our reality.
Do you want to know how to take charge and stay in a loving relationship? In today’s world everything is so fast paced that we tend to have short and shallow relationships with others. It can be very difficult to stay in a dedicated relationship when most people have such short attention spans. It does not matter if you are married, divorced or single, you can find some useful advice here that will help you with your relationship. Be Yourself
Do you have an area of your life that you feel powerless to create success? Have you created success in other areas of your life but have one area that seems to cause you more issues than any other? If we take some time to examine this area, we will undoubtedly find one or more excuses. These excuses will override your commitment to achieving your goals.
Sometimes a goal looks so big, you can end up feeling overwhelmed and give up before you have even started! That is why it is so important to chunk your goal down to small manageable chunks and set yourself a target for completing each chunk. So, say for example, you have set yourself an emotional goal which looks a bit like this: Emotional Goal example: It is July 23rd and I feel so happy and light. My self esteem is growing every day and I feel very confident in all situations. I am assertive and honour my emotions.
Why do so many businesses or individuals fail? Why is it that people do not all get what they want in life? Failing to plan can often mean planning to fail. Creating a plan means setting goals in your life. If you do not set goals you will not be very likely to succeed. Sure, there are some people who are simply gifted and can achieve more easily than others. However, the unfortunate truth is that most of us must work very hard in order to achieve our goals.
Excuses are driven by fear and negative emotions that keep us from realizing our ambitions. That's why you need Excuse Busters! By learning to control these fears we need not make excuses. Being too busy is not an excuse, nor is not having the money or having the relevant qualification. That’s not to say that you’re not any of these but if you really want something without the fear, there are hurdles that can be overcome. Very simply put successful people and entrepreneurs do not make excuses or accept them.
It is impossible to remove all Fear from our lives. Fear is a natural emotion and we are all human – It is normal and natural to experience some degree of fear in our lives. We can feel fear for many different reasons including the following: • Fear of doing something new • Fear of the future • Fear that we are not good enough • Fear of change • Fear of ending a relationship / job • Fear of other people It is impossible to state a definitive list of fears as we are all different. What one person feels fear about – another person may embrace and feel excitement about.
Often if we are not getting the results we want in our life, whether this in financial, relationships, family, work etc, it is often an outer reflection of the way we feel about ourselves on the inside. Remember…life is like a photocopier…what you put in the photocopier (your inner word) will come out in the photocopier! (Your outer world) So, give your self some well earned heart candy and make a commitment to yourself to do the 30 day Love yourself challenge! Sometimes you may not feel like it but I challenge you to do it anyway! Take it on! Remember, you are worth it!
Are you a born worrier? I think everyone would admit to being a worrier at one time, but some people worry a lot more than othersr Once acquired, the habit of worrying can be difficult to stop. Often our parents teach has how to worry and society often dictates that if we don’t worry, then we are irresponsible!
Many people groan when the hear the word ‘ Goal Setting’ as it seems a unnecessary and dull process. I am going to share with you a fun, inspiration goal setting process which will keep you motivated and help you stay on track towards your goals. Setting a goal is really important and will increase your chances of long term success and will also assist keeping you on track on a daily basis. It is also a process, you may be glad to hear, which involves sitting down for 30 minutes and no rigorous exercisern. Ready? Pick up a pen and make yourself comfortable.
Goal setting is a very powerful technique that works! At its simplest level the process of setting goals and targets allows you to choose where you want to go in life. By knowing what you want to achieve, you know what you have to concentrate on and improve. Goal setting gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation. Research has shown that people who use goal setting effectively: • suffer less from stress and anxiety • concentrate better • show more self-confidence • perform better • are happier and more satisfied. Key things to remember when setting goals!
Are you friendly towards yourself and treat yourself like your own best friend? I doubt it! Often we have more patience and kindness towards strangers that werndo to ourselves. For most of us, we do not even realise when we chastise ourself, think horrid things about our looks, achievements or body and spend our days unfavourably comparing ourself to others. Beating yourself up has just become a regular bad habit! Many of us are so used to treating ourselves this way that we don't know any different. We rarely praise ourselves for ourr
HOW MUCH ACTION ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO TAKE? How happy are you with your life? Are you tired, wish you had a better job, relationship, more energy, a fitter body or improved relationships with friends and family? Do you want to feel more relaxed, happy and successful? Do you spend your days complaining to anyone who is willing to listen how fed up you are and how much you wish things were different? Do you get down and upset that your life is the way it is and you wish things were different in some way? THEN YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTION!r
In many ways these are tough times we live in. I know a generation older than myself certainly believes that it’s harder for youngster today then it was for them and that there aren’t the same opportunities but at least we’re not in the trenches like many young men and male teenagers had to endure during The Great War. And this is how to try and feel positive when it’s all gone wrong and the rug has been pulled out from your feet. You’ve just got to get on with it. It’s easy to say isn’t it, get up brush yourself off and try again. But it’s true.
How does the voice of your negative belief system sound? Do any of these sound familiar? You are worthless, useless, a failure, lazy, ugly, a mess, non-deserving, not good enough, unlovable, stupid, fat, etc etc etc! What sort of negative thoughts go through your mind? How do you speak to yourself?r
Loving oneself is not something that is particularly easy. It can be difficult to take a look in the mirror and like what you can see. Low self-esteem can affect many people all over the world, but there are ways to beat it. You simply have to follow these easy steps and you will find out how to show yourself love. Create Lists
It is well documented that meditation aids with stress relief and has other benefits too. It may sound impossible to suggest that time should be set aside for meditation to be part of your weekly schedule but by allocating enough time you actually can meditate for your well-being. No other exercise or medium can actually work towards the betterment of health like meditation and increase your productivity and health over the long run.
Choose Happiness Most of wait for something great to happen in our lives before we put on the smile and feel happy! But really, happiness is a choice and why not make yourself happy rather than waiting for happiness to come to you? Seriously, nobody is coming to save you so if you want to shake your life up a bit and get happy then you can start by making a few simple changes to your day.r
Too often we allow our fears to prevent us from achieving our goals or living the life we truly want to live. Fears have no boundaries and differ from person to person. We can be fearful of anything ranging from relationships to rabbits! In this newsletter I am going to focus on facing our ‘ small’ fears, the one’s which may not have a huge impact on our life but in their own way, can make our life less enjoyable and somewhat ‘ smaller’. What is a fear?
One of the most common complaint I hear from people is they feel tired, overwhelmed or their life is somewhat chaotic. One of the easiest ways to really take care of yourself is to become very careful and discriminative on how you choose to spend your time and energy. People’s diaries are often full of things they feel they ‘should’ do rather than being filled of caring and self loving appointments
Often, we all have one or two areas in our life where our hearts feel heavy. This could be any area which is important to you. Your heart could feel heavy with regards to relationships, finances, career orrnperhaps family issues. What if, for the next 4 weeks, we all took responsibility for this heavy load and took some radical action to take responsibility for what isrnmaking our hearts feel so heavy? Remember, we must give up the person we are today, in order to become the person we wish to be tomorrow! Let's take the area of relationships as an example.
When I first came across this mirror process in a workshop U.S Life Coach Debbie Ford, I really found it rather confrontational. Of course I had heard the old adage that ‘your life is like a mirror’, but what I hadn’t done is sit down and apply that to people in my life who really annoyed me, drove me crazy or had a personality trait which pressed every hot button in my entire body.
Having negative credit can affect your entire life. Not only are banks, lenders and credit card issuers pulling your credit file, employers are now using credit history as a determinant in hiring. It is getting harder to escape the consequences of having bad credit. Not everyone with bad credit is late paying all of their financial obligations. You may be timely with your rent, utility, cable, cell phone, child support and even daycare obligations. Now you have an alternative
Building business credit can be accomplished regardless of your personal credit history. Business credit is essential in conserving cash flow, keeping track of business expenses and more importantly, protecting personal assets and personal credit history. The most important element to building business credit is finding lending institutions, credit card issuers and vendors that will establish business credit without you giving a personal guarantee from your individual credit
When I meet my clients for the first time, the majority of people actually know deep down what they SHOULD be doing, but they are not moving forward due to fear of what COULD happen. We often fear the worst if we change a habit or behavour fearing that other people won't like it or that we won't be able to handle the outcome. In addition, I often hear people say that they tried to do something different, but then were over come with guilt or a feeling of uncomfortable so they reverted back to the old behaviour again as it just felt easier!
Happinessr Too often I hear people say that they are waiting for something to happen before they can be really happy. They feel as if something has to be achieved such as meeting their soul mate, losing some weight or finding that new job. They believe that once they have achieved this, then and only then, will they feel truly happy. This thought process can cause your everyday life to feel miserable because you are waiting to arrive somewhere in order to allow yourself to feel happy.
1) When you wake in the morning, tell yourself that you are going to have a fabulous day. 2) Do your affirmation statements while you are in the shower or brushing your teeth. You can even laminate them and put them up in your shower. 3) If you walk or get public transport to work, repeat your affirmations or read your goals. 4) Set up a reminder in your calender to say 3 nice things about yourself each day. 5) Everytime you look in the mirror- praise yourself! 6)Give a compliment each day to someone new. 7) Meditate or take some time out to relax for 5 minutesr
The U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) has launched a new loan program for military service members, veterans and their spouses which can be used to establish or expand a small business. The Patriot Express Loan Initiative builds on the more than $1 billion in loans SBA guarantees annually for veteran-owned businesses. In March 2008, the SBA announced that the average loan amount is nearly $101,000. "Each day sees the number of Patriot Express loans rise and the number
Have you ever been in a situation where you were able to pay most of your bills but perhaps you let the least essential debt go for a month? Well this can hurt not only your credit rating but also affect your interest rates and credit limits with all of your creditors. This is the practice of Universal Default. It is a relatively new clause added to the terms and conditions of banks and credit card companies. Now banks and credit card companies have yet another excuse to char