Browse published articles attributed to Oliver JR Cooper, with full-archive search.
It is an essential human need to be listened to and truly heard by others. This leads to a sense of validation and the experience of being mirrored. From the moment one is born this need is there and it will stay there until the moment they pass.
If a man has the desire to in a relationship with a woman, he could end up taking action. This could then be a time when he will go out to different bars and clubs, and he could even join a few dating sites. What this could show is that he has recently broken up with someone, and he now feels as though it is time to move on. At the same time, there is the chance that he has been single for quite some time. Playing the Field
If someone was to go and watch a film, not only would they watch the screen, they would also pay attention to what is being said. On one hand, they will have paid to watch it, and on the other hand, it will be something they want to see. No Consequences However, if they were to take their eyes and ears away from the screen and to focus on something else, it is unlikely that something ‘bad’ will happen. The actors that are in the film are not going to feel disrespected, and the people who work in the cinema are unlikely to care.
There are the changes that one can make in their own life and then there are the changes they can make in the world. And as one is part of the world, what takes place in their life can end up affecting the world. The internet has given individuals the power to make more of a difference than ever before. One doesn’t need to be part of an organisation and neither do they need the backing of a big company – they simply need to create a blog or a video for instance.
No matter how old or young someone is, where they have come from on this planet or if they are male or female, one thing is clear, and that is that they will have emotions. For this is part of the human experience, without them life wouldn’t be the same. However, one of the challenges with emotions is that they are not always pleasant. And while it is possible to feel emotionally whole and centred, it is also possible to feel emotionally empty and decentred.
One of the greatest human needs is to feel connected to others and this can relate to an intimate relationship with the opposite sex or the same, depending on one’s sexual preference and to family and friends. To share who one is and to be involved in the sharing of another, plays a vital role in our wellbeing.
There are some people who try and fix others. This could be something they have a habit of doing or something they do once in a while. And while these people may think that they are helping others, they are generally having the opposite effect. A bit like how a mechanic may fix an engine or a certain component within a car; this person will try to repair something that they perceive to be wrong or damaged in another person.
There are certain behaviours that are going to cause problems in a relationship and could even sabotage one from taking place, and one of those behaviours is when someone is clingy. This can appear at the start of a relationship or it can appear as a relationship develops. For the person on the receiving end of this behaviour, it can feel smothering and overwhelming. At first it may be bearable, but over time it could become unbearable. And for others, it could be something that causes them to end the relationship as soon as this type of behaviour takes place.
One of the questions I have been asking myself recently is; are we seeing reality based on how it is today or are we interpreting and creating it based on what happened in our past The first response to this question could be; Of course we are seeing reality for how it is today, what else is there.
When one thinks about what it means to love someone or for someone else to love them, they are likely to have an idea in mind. This idea could also be backed up by a certain feeling or a combination of feelings. What it means to one person is not necessarily going to be the same as what it means for someone else. Now this could be because one person has an outlook that is different, or it could be that one person’s outlook is healthy and the other person’s outlook isn’t. Give And Take
When someone is in touch with their true-self, it is likely to mean that they are in touch with their true needs and feelings, among others things. These inner aspects will then go onto shape their behaviour, and the idea people have of them can then match up with who they are. However, this can all depend on how close one is to someone, and this is because it is human nature to project onto others. Therefore, the closer one is to someone, the greater chance the other person has of coming into contact with one’s true-self. Two Sides
If human beings were inherently independent, it wouldn’t matter if someone didn't have relationships with other people; as they would be able to just carry on with their life. But as human beings and everything else on this planet is interdependent, it means that relationships play a vital part in someone’s life. And not only do relationships play a part in one being able to survive, they can also allow one to thrive. One only needs to meet one person and their whole life could change and one could have the same affect on another. Elevation
In a previous article that I write on expectations, I looked at where our expectations come from. And here I want to take a closer look at how expectations are influencing our day to day life. Expectations can become part of one’s nature and how they see life or they can be expectations that come and go and are only short term. When one is a child, there are likely to be a certain set of expectations. And as one grows older, some of these will change and adapt; while others may remain until ones teenage years and even adult years. Always present
While there are some people who are able to express every emotion on the spectrum, there are others who are stuck on one end of the spectrum. When this happens, it is not going to be possible for someone to be a whole human being. This may mean that one is always ‘positive’, and that they are unable to experience emotions that would cause them to be ‘negative’. Or they might be in a position where they always feel down, and it is then not going to be possible for them to feel good.
When people work together and are all on the same side, so much can be achieved. If there is disharmony amongst people, problems can appear and this can lead to things being slowed down, or stopped completely. One example that comes to mind here is a sports team. When everyone in the team works together, amazing things can happen. But when just one of those members in the team is out of alignment with the rest, it can disrupt the whole ream. And the same thing applies to someone’s life.
Even though a relationship can start off in a certain way, it doesn’t mean that it will be the same as time passes. On one hand, this can be seen as something that just happens as two people get to know each other better, and on the other hand, it can mean that one person was putting on an act. Best Foot Forward In this sense, the person someone made themselves out to be in the beginning of the relationship was nothing more than an act. This shows that while someone can put their best foot forward; they can also go as far as to deceive others.
These are two words that can be used to describe an occurrence or situation. One person may use the world problem and another could use the word challenge. And this is even though they are both in the same position or looking at the same thing. Meaning On Google.com the word problem is described as: 1. A matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome. 2. A thing difficult to achieve or accomplish. And a challenge is described as: 1. A call to take part in a contest or competition, esp. a duel. Consequences
Although some relationships are healthy, there are others that are completely dysfunctional. And when this is the case, they no longer have the ability to transform one’s life and to assist in their personal evolution. That is unless one leaves the relationship and uses the experience to find out what part they were playing. It will then be possible for one to do the work that they need to do on themselves in order to experience healthier relationships.
It is often said that women are more intuitive than men, and this could be due to a number of reasons. One reason is because they are often more in touch with their feelings. Men on the other hand, are often more logical and out of touch with how they feel. This is simply a generalisation though; as some men are going to be in touch with how they feel and some women are going to be out of touch with how they feel. And while this much is true, it can still be said that women have a greater connection to their intuition than men do. Benefits
When people want to find out about what is taking place locally and globally, they often look to the mainstream media to inform them. This could be seen as a normal part of living in the modern-day world. But while this has been the way for so long, it is it beginning to change and this is due to the internet. There are people who are no longer look towards the mainstream media to inform them and this is because they want to do their own research. We All Have a Brain
For a long time, the western world has been familiar with the word doing and the word being has been something that the people in the east were familiar with. And this has gradually changed in the west, with people becoming more aware of these eastern approaches and vice versa. Stereotypically, being is often seen as coming from somewhere like India and meditation is an example of this and doing can be seen as very western and include the desire to achieve or to be a success.
There are going to be times in one’s life when they meet someone for the first time, and how they greet them is likely have a big impact on what happens after they have met. This is because the other person’s first impressions are going to be heavily influenced by what takes place during this stage of the interaction.
One can have the desire to be in a relationship that is meaningful and fulfilling and yet they might find this hard to achieve. And it could be that they can’t seem to attract the right person or that when they are in a relationship with someone who they connect with, it soon ends. There could be all kinds of reasons as to why this is happening. But if this has become a way of life for this person and something they are accustomed to, then there is likely to be patterns at work.
When it comes to connecting to other people, our facial expressions play an important role. And like one’s body language and their tone of voice, one is not always aware of how they’re coming across. Or one might be aware of their body language and their tone of choice, but their facial expressions could be something they’re not focused on. If this is the case, it is going to cause other people to doubt what they are saying. Congruence
When the words ‘The Matrix’ are mentioned the first thing that comes to mind is probably the film by the same name. And this was a film that had a profound influence on many people. This was not only because of the quality of the film, but also because of the questions it made people ask and contemplate after they had watched it. For many people it was nothing more than a very well made science fiction film and taken literally and to others it was seen as a metaphor for something much deeper and greater than the film alone could ever express. Unplugging
One can often watch a film with an ending that is unclear and come up with an interpretation that is completely different to another person. Or perhaps there is a cloud in the sky; one sees it to be a certain shape and another person sees another shape or cannot see this shape at all. Then there are dreams, which can be interpreted in numerous ways. Some say there are specific meanings; others say that the meanings can only be interpreted by the individual. Internal Interpretation
When it comes to the modern day descriptions of men, there are two that are often mentioned. One is the bad boy and the other is the nice guy. And while on paper and in person these men can come across as being radically different, in many ways, they are simply two sides of the same coin. This is because these ways of behaving are adoptions and are not an authentic expression of who someone is. So a man will act in these ways in the hope that their needs and wants will be fulfilled. Socially Acceptable
If someone was to take a dog for a walk and they were told to keep it under control, they are unlikely to think that there is anything wrong with what they are being told. However, if they were in a relationship and one their friends told them to control their partner, this might not be the case. What this comes down to is that there is a time and a place for it and this is something that can be said for most things in life. For example, if one was to hit another person in self-defence, it would be completely different to hitting someone for no reason. Context
When it comes to talking to someone, how we perceive them usually makes all of the difference. If another person is seen as a friend or someone that one has spoken to before, then it is going to make it easier for one to talk to them. And this is part of being human, because although times have changed and we generally no longer have to worry about whether we will be eaten alive by another animal (depending on where one lives of course); our survival instincts are still as strong.
When it comes to creating a deeper connection and a lasting impression on others; it is often assumed that sharing ones good points is the best approach to take. To share ones vulnerable side is something that should be avoided at all costs. This means that successes and achievements should be revealed and shared. But moments when one’s life didn’t go to plan or when one experienced a setback or loss, should be avoided at all costs. Being Perfect
If one was to hear the word ‘addiction’, there is a strong chance they would start to think about an alcoholic or a drug addict. This is not because it is impossible to be addicted to anything else; it is because of how addiction is often portrayed in today’s world. As a result of this, it is easy for people who are hooked on these substances to feel bad and for people who are hooked on other things to feel good. One person is then seen as a problem to society and the other is seen as a vital part of society. Appearances
In one way or another, life is all about energy; it is what creates and supports life and it also leads to movement and motion. Without it, nothing would exist or survive and nothing would ever happen or change. And as human beings, we are no different. Whether it involves: getting out of bed, going to work, doing exercise or sport, achieving certain goals or dreams and any else for that matter, energy is incredibly important.
Physically men and women are very different; with a woman being an example of the feminine and a man being an example the masculine. But while this much is true, on the inside they are both made of masculine and feminine traits. And for a long time, men generally behaved in ways that were masculine and women behaved in ways that were feminine. However, as time has passed, women have become more masculine and men have become more feminine in some cases.
When it comes to my journey of self awareness, there are some people who stand out when I look back on where I have come from. And one of those people is Jenny Jones. This is someone who is based in England and she is a healer/therapist. The Next Stage After having experienced hypnotherapy for a while, I came to see that I needed something else; this was in 2013. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I knew I needed something. I had seen many improvements through having hypnotherapy. My boundaries had improved, I began to feel more settled and I was able to let go of certain things.
When it comes to what women are like, there are numerous ideas that men can have. And while the world is made up of all types of women, there are certain ideas that a man will have formed. These are not just going to be disconnected descriptions, but descriptions that carry emotional weight. And although the ones that carry an emotional weight can be the ones that a man is attracted to or attracts, they can also relate to women that are: colleagues, friends and family members.
While some people are able to handle break ups reasonably well, there are other people who find them to be extremely difficult. And although it could all depend on how long the relationship has lasted for or on the kind of connection that they had with the other person, these two factors are not always important. It may have been a relationship that only lasted for a short period of time and there may have been little, if any, connection. It could have been abusive for instance. But even if it hasn’t lasted for very long or it wasn’t working, it doesn’t mean that one can simply move on.r
How we respond to others and how others respond to us can appear to be random and without reason at times. And at others times, it can be patently obvious as to why we have behaved as we have towards another or why they behaved as they have towards us. But whether one is aware of their behaviour or not, one is still playing a large part in how others are treating them. The same is true of another person and in how one treats them.
About a year ago I went to a health and wellbeing centre and had a little look around the entrance, but I didn’t go any further. However, a few weeks ago I felt the urge to go to this place again, and this made me look at the website. I found out that there would be a free guided mediation event in few weeks time and that this would be hosted by the Founder & Manager of the centre, Angela Oakes. When I looked at her picture on the website, I got the impression that she was nurturing and down to earth. A Pleasant Environment
There is something called an inner voice and this is available to each one of us. But although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one is in tune with their inner voice or even knows that they have one. The Inner voice is not the only term that is used to describe this powerful guidance system. For some people it will be called intuition or some kind of psychic ability. One will have hunches, sense things or just feel or know that something is right or wrong. And as there are many ways of perceiving the world, this all makes sense. The Noise
During our lives we can have many relationships and some of these relationships can last for what feels like moments and others can seem to last a lifetime. It could be greeting someone we might never see again or embracing someone we will see many times. These relationships can range from a childhood friends, colleagues, family members or a partner for instance. And no matter how old or young we are; what is clear is that we have all had relationships that have started and relationships that have come to an end. For these beginnings and endings are part of life.
While people often believe that the media is there to simply inform them about what is going on in the world, this is not always the case. Instead, there is often a hidden agenda and what the media focuses on is therefore intended to create a certain reaction.
Just because someone has the desire to do something, it doesn’t mean they will take action. Instead of doing what they need to do to fulfil their desire, they might end up doing nothing. In this case, it is not going to be possible for one to move forward; they are going to stay where they are and their life could end up getting worse. One may find it hard to understand why they hold themselves back and the people around them could have the same outlook. The Other Extreme
As men are often physically stronger than women, it often makes it hard to comprehend that they could be fearful of women. This is something that can sound illogical and abnormal. When some people hear this, it can sound like some kind of joke. But while this may sound illogical and even laughable, for men who have this fear, it is a very real experience and not a laughing matter. The idea that comes to mind of a man that fears women, could be one that looks weak or feeble for example.
Although each one of us has a body, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels that it is safe to be in their body. It might even sound confusing as to how this could be; especially as one’s body is a big part of who they are. Instead of one being in their body, what they can end up doing is living in their head. This is not something that one usually chooses to do at conscious level; it is something that can happen as a result of certain experiences occurring in their life.
There are many different things that make someone human and therefore allow them to have a human experience and one of these things is empathy. This is something one can have for themselves and something that can extend outwards and towards other human beings. It enables one to mirror another person’s pain and what they are going through emotionally. And while this could be towards another person, it could also go out towards a whole country or an area of a country.
In today’s relationships love is often used to describe how someone feels about another person and as a description of what one is looking for. The world is made up all of kinds of relationships and although there are general meanings when it comes to love; there are also radically different ones.
It might seem strange to some people that success could be something to fear; especially as we live in a world where success has become an obsession for so many people. What is often heard about is the fear of failure and how people don’t want to fail. However, success is generally perceived as what most people want. That one could actually be fearful of it, would appear to be wide of the mark. And although logically this does make sense, it doesn’t mean that this is necessarily true at a deeper level.
There are some people who are in touch with who they are, and then there are some people who are not. But while some people are going to be aware of the fact that they are out of touch with themselves, there are going to be other people who are not aware However, when one is in touch with who they are, their life is naturally going to be lot more fulfilling than if they were not. This is going to mean that one’s actions are generally going to be aligned with their needs and feelings.
When one comes across someone who is successful, it can be easy for them to come to the conclusion that they have always been this way. And this is partly because one is not going to be aware of what they had to go through to get to where they are. One could assume that this person has always experienced life in the same way or that the other person is ‘lucky’. This can then lead to the impression that this person and anyone else who is successful for that matter is different or ‘special’.
It has recently been reported that rage could be the result of what is going on for someone at a biological level. And while this has been said, they have also wondered if it’s the other way around; with rage causing ones biology to change and not ones biology causing the rage. However, whether one is an expert when it comes to biology or not, it is not going to be much of a surprise to hear that when one feels a certain way, their physical body also mirroring the experience.